Chapter 4

Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets.

~Paul Tournier

I open the dressing room door and spin into the room laughing.

"You look happy" Genesis laughs.

"I am! That was so much fun! Just music, no costumes, no dancing, just my voice. It felt so real, so me. First time I've felt that way on stage in a while." I say.

"That's great Grace. It's good to see a real smile on your face" she replies. "You ready to get out of here?"

"Yes! I'm starving! Wanna hit the diner on the way home?" I ask.

"Of course! Nothing better than post shift pancakes and bacon. Let's go" Genesis says as she grabs her bag and heads out the door.

I grab my bag and follow her out shutting off the light and closing the door behind me.

We walk into the parking lot and I freeze.

"Grace, you okay? You look like you just saw a ghost" Genesis says.

It's like I've stepped back in time. There are customized Harley's everywhere I look. Decked out with angels, flames, skulls. I look around and shake my head to clear it.

"Yeah girl, I'm okay. Just need a minute." And then I see it, the Reaper back to haunt me.

"Honey you're shaking" Genesis says as she puts her arm around my shoulder. "Leave your car, I'll text Jameson and let him know it's in the lot."

She leads me to her car and I get in. I take a few deep breaths as she walks around to the driver's side. I am staring out the window when she starts the car.

"Look Gen…" I start

"Not tonight Grace, but tomorrow night we are both off. We are going to get drunk on cheap wine, watch bad TV and you are going to tell me what that was all about."

I turn my head to find her staring at me. I nod.

"For now my friend, we are going to get those pancakes then crawl home and crash." Genesis says with a smile.

We finally get home at 5am and I stumble to my bed. Hopefully I'm tired enough I don't dream.

After what feels like only 10 minutes, I roll over and look at the clock. 5:00? Damn I guess I was tired.

I climb out of bed, shuffle toward the kitchen and inhale deeply. God bless that roommate of mine and her amazing coffee. I grab a mug from the cabinet and fill it leaving room for milk. Genesis comes out of her room as I am getting the milk from the fridge.

"Hey lady. I gotta run some errands. Should be back in about 3 hours. I'll pick up wine and food on my way home, you pick out the entertainment for the night. Remember the objective is bad TV and movies" she says with a laugh.

I laugh back as I put the milk away. "Can I at least finish my coffee first before my cinematic taste is challenged?"

"I guess so, but hurry up about it. It takes you forever to pick one movie and I have a feeling this is going to be a long night" she says with a wink.

"Okay, okay. Get out of here so I can shower and spend the next 3 hours finding us at least 2 suitable movies to watch" I say with a grin.

"See you in a bit girl" Genesis says as she leaves the apartment and closes the door behind her.

I lock the door after her and head to my room to shower. This apartment is great for us because it has two full bathrooms meaning we don't have to share space too much. I tried the shared bathroom thing in college and hated it, so I got really lucky when I moved in with Genesis.

Forty five minutes later I am showered, hair in a ponytail and dressed in jeans and a fitted black t-shirt with Jim Morrison on the front.

I head into the living room and pick out a few movies. Then I check the guide on the TV and find a few shows I set reminders for. I check the clock and I still have an hour before Genesis is back, so I get on my computer. I spend some time checking email, playing on Facebook, but eventually I end up where I always do, the Charming Daily News website. I don't know why I bother, nothing ever changes in that town, but I can't seem to stop. Four years since I set foot in the place and yet it still has a hold on me. I spend some time browsing birth announcements, obituaries, real estate and news. I save the police blotter for last and hope I don't see any names I recognize, but I know that's unlikely. Sure enough, there it is. "Alexander 'Tig' Trager, 49, of Charming, CA and Juan Carlos 'Juice' Ortiz, 33, also of Charming were arrested on the grounds of Salvage Junkyard in Lodi, CA for trespassing, possession of narcotics and unlawful possession of a firearm. Both are being held while awaiting a bond hearing."

"Hey chica, you ready to get drunk?" Genesis says as she walks in with a smile.

I close the computer and look up "Hell yes I am!"

"I got 4 bottles of wine, some beer and of course some tequila. This is going to be one hell of a night!" Gen says.

"Damn girl, you invite someone else over? If we drink all that we may never leave the house again" I laugh.

"Shit" Genesis calls out as I hear the sound of breaking glass. I run into the kitchen and find her with her hand over the sink, a gash on hand bleeding pretty badly. I turn on the cold water and stick her hand under it. "Keep your hand there" I say as I run to the bathroom and grab my first aid kit. I open some sterile gauze, fold it and hand it to her.

"Place this over the cut and push down hard. It will slow the bleeding." I say as I turn off the water and then dig through my bag to find what I need. Steri-strips, skin glue, a cotton tipped applicator, saline wash, bacitracin ointment and non-stick gauze.

"Okay come sit at the table with me. Give me your hand." I take her hand and look at it closely. "Not so bad, the bleeding is already stopping."

I hand her another gauze. "Hold this on for just another minute." As she does that I get things set up.

I place a towel under her hand on the table. "I'm going to start with the saline wash, then close it with the skin glue and steri-strips and put some ointment on top. We'll cover it with a bandage for tonight but you should be able to take it off tomorrow."

I close her wound, bandage it and then head into the kitchen to throw away the trash and wash my hands.

"How did you know how to do that?" Genesis asks softly.

I don't answer right away.

"Seriously girl, it was like you were a doctor or some shit" she says prodding me for an answer.

"In a past life, that's exactly what I was" I reply deadpan. I turn off the water and dry my hands but still don't look her way.

"Are you fucking serious?" She asks but I still don't answer. "Damn."

"I guess story time starts now" I say with a wan smile. "Let's open up that tequila."

Genesis grabs the bottle, 2 shots glasses, some limes and the salt shaker and we sit at the kitchen table.

"Shot first" she says. We each down a shot.

"Look Grace, I know this isn't easy for you but maybe you'll feel better once it's all out." Genesis says with a sympathetic smile. "Why don't you start with something small?"

I pour myself another shot and look up at her.

"Something small? Okay well for starters, you can call me Tara" I say then down the shot with no lime.