Chapter 5

(Author's Note: This chapter is from Genesis' POV. )

"Almost nothing need be said when you have eyes."
Tarjei Vesaas

I wake up the next morning and it feels like there is a jackhammer inside my head. What the hell time is it? I've only been asleep for 5 hours, but there is no going back now. I slowly peel my eyes open testing the pain. Okay not too bad, but I definitely need some ibuprofen. I go into my bathroom, fill a cup with water and gulp it down. Then I refill the cup and reach for the ibuprofen in the medicine cabinet. I shake 3 into my hand and then swallow them with the water. As soon as the pills hit my stomach, it growls. We drank so much last night we forgot to eat any of the food I bought and my body is not happy about it now.

I quietly open my door and tip toe to the kitchen being careful not to wake Grace. Her door is still closed so I'm pretty sure she is sleeping, either that or trying to decide whether to come out and face me. I'm guessing the reality of having shared her story last night is a little different in the light of day.

I start the coffee and take out 2 mugs. Then I get to work making pancakes, bacon and scrambled eggs with cheese. My head may still be pounding, but I am going to do my best to let my friend know that nothing she said last night changed a thing. I fill a plate for each of us and set it on the table then head back to the kitchen and fill the mugs with steaming coffee. Just as I am setting the mugs on the table, Grace's door opens.

"Morning chica" I say with a smile. "Hungry?"

"A little queasy but food might be good" she says with a half-smile.

"Well come on, sit down and eat before it gets cold. Milks on the table." I say and begin eating.

Grace adds milk to her coffee and takes a few sips before I notice her staring at the plate but not making a move to eat.

"Grace?" I say and she doesn't look up. "Grace?" I say again a bit louder.

"I'm sorry, what?" she says.

I look at my friend in a whole new way. The way her eyes always seemed sad even when she said she was happy, the way she always looked over her shoulder like she was running from ghosts and the way she always hid her face from everyone but those closest to her. Now it all makes sense. If I had been through what she had, I'd want to hide too, unfortunately we can never hide from what's in our own minds.

"I was just wondering if you might want to go shopping before we head to work tonight. Maybe get a new costume for the show?" I ask.

"Oh sure, that sounds good. You know what, I'm really not that hungry. Too much alcohol last night I think. I'm gonna go shower." She stands and heads into her room cradling the mug of coffee.

Shit. I really wish I knew how to help her. Everything she's lost and now she looks like she's scared of losing more. Okay I'm just going to talk to her. I walk to her door and knock softly but there's no answer. I knock again harder and the door slides open a bit. I see Grace sitting on her bed staring at her lap, her shoulders shaking gently with sobs. Damn it.

I walk to the bed and sit next to her. I place my hand on her lap and look at what she's looking at. It's a photo of a baby wrapped in a blue blanket wearing a tiny blue skull cap with the words Sons of Anarchy across the front around an image of a really creepy looking reaper with a machine gun in his hand. Who the hell puts a hat like that on a baby?

"Is that him?" I ask softly.

"Yes, this is Abel. I haven't let myself look at it in a long time. I keep it in a locked box with a few other things" she says as she nods to the box on the floor.

"Tell me about him" I say as I gently squeeze her leg where my hand is.

She looks at me surprised. "I told you all about him last night, do you really want to hear it again?"

"Honey if he matters to you, he matters to me. You are my best friend and you can talk to me about him every minute of every day if that's what it takes for you to see that nothing has changed between you and me" I say and I wrap my arm her shoulders and hug her close as she begins talking.

"Oh Gen he was the sweetest little baby. Born with so many strikes against him, a faulty heart, addicted to drugs, premature, but he fought. And he survived it…"

Grace continues to tell me all about the beautiful baby boy who stole a piece of her heart and the father who had already owned her heart for years. About an hour later she is out of tears and we just sit silently.

"Thanks for telling me" I say.

She smiles and says "Thanks for listening."

"Have you talked to Jackson at all since you left your hometown? It's been what, almost 5 years?"

"It has been almost 5 years and I have no intention of talking to Jax, or anyone from that town again. I just can't face them after everything that happened" she says and stands. "I'm going to shower. We need to get out of here in under an hour if we are going to stop at the costume shop before work."

She leaves her room and heads into the bathroom. I wait until I hear the water running then I stand and head to my room to get ready for work.

Forty five minutes later I am ready to go and I just can't stop thinking about what Grace told me. There just seems to be something missing from the story. The way she looked at the photo of that baby, the way she talked about Jackson, how proud she sounded when she talked about her career as a surgeon, it just made no sense that she would walk away from all of it with no explanation. I mean seriously, who goes through medical school and then works as a Burlesque singer and dancer? It's insane.

I look up when I hear Grace's door open.

"Ready?" she asks.

"Sure am. Let's go get some sexy costumes so we can make all the men drool tonight" I say as I laugh.

Grace opens the door and walks out with me a few steps behind. As I watch her walk down the hall, I wonder how much more there is to her story. It's obvious she is still keeping some things to herself, and I can respect that, I mean we all have secrets right? But how can I help her if I don't really know what the problem is? I have a feeling our deep conversations are just getting started.