Jerome's smoke trick had indeed worked, and Ted, Tracy, Marshall, and Lily had found themselves where they needed to be, because, after their initial separation, they had reunited anyway.
Regardless, it was a great relief for them to have eked out a new shelter, and seeing each of their parents running the place was also a pleasant surprise- albeit one that raised a ton of questions, but still pleasant nonetheless.
Genevieve courteously greeted them and sat each of them at the table, and the dinner began.
It had been so long since any of them had seen so much food in one place that no one knew how to react.
A large, glazed and smoked ham sat in the center of the table, flanked by plates of warm buttered rolls, and on one side, colorful salads of fresh fruit bedazzled the table, lined with small bowls of hummus and crackers. Laid out for dessert were Apple streusel pies, chocolate layered cookies, and clear dishes of gummy bears.
Barney nervously licked his lips in anticipation of eating. "So...can we just start, or do we have to say some prayer or something?"
"Hey, it's the zombie apocalypse, you can go ahead!" Genevieve replied warmly.
Barney quickly grabbed a roll from the center of the table and piled on his plate whatever else would fit. Mouth full, a few seconds later, he commented, "Man I wonder what James would think of this!"
"You left James behind?" Loretta asked.
Barney dabbed off his mouth with a napkin.
"Well, I mean, I didn't leave him behind per se, he's just, y'know, not with us."
"So then he's dead?!" Judy, Marshall's mother, interjected.
"No, he's not dead!"
Robin slammed her silverware down. "Hey, um, why don't we talk about something different for now. I'll start us off- how are you all?"
"Well, we're alive," Mickey Aldrin spoke up as he impaled a chunk of meat with his fork. "This whole zombie thing's really taking a lot out of me though. It's all run-run-run, try not to die, pretend-like-you didn't-shoot-that-guy-you-just-mistook-for-one- of-them lately. It's hard out there."
"Wait a minute, you shot a guy?" Lily asked.
Mickey didn't answer. "But on the plus side, guess who's got a new board game in the works!" He bent down, then produced a box decorated with angry cartoon zombies and lots of colorful guts and gore.
"Zombie Apocalypse," he introduced it. "The game where your life is up for grabs! Will you make it? Or will you get your brains shredded to bloody bits by angry undead creatures? Play it now and find out!"
"Oh God," Lily muttered under her breath.
"I take it Clint's not doin' too well with this whole gig either," Ted assumed, to which Clint responded, "Doing well?! Ted, no one is doing well! Do you know how much this- this whole deal has screwed up my lifestyle? Seriously, I try to meditate, in a place where they should never be able to find me, and you know what? They find me. I was up behind a dumpster!"
"That would explain the smell," Barney remarked, stifling a choke.
"So," Loretta interjected, "by some miracle, Robin's pregnant now, huh?"
Robin nodded as she sipped her water, desperately wishing it was wine.
"How did that happen?" Loretta pressed on, Ted remarking "Oh no" as he knew how upped the awkward ante would become within seconds.
"I mean, I've heard from Barney that you two have been 'at it' constantly, if you catch my drift," she continued. "It all finally broke the walls, so to speak, didn't it?"
Robin placed her hands over her face. "Yes, the 'walls were broken,'" she agreed. "Somehow, your son finally got me pregnant."
"Barney, thoughts?" Loretta asked.
Between mouthfuls of food, he answered, "Hey, long as she's happy, I'm happy. And I am happy, I mean, sure she's got the weight packed on, but have you seen the upstairs neighbors? I-" Before he could say anything else, Robin smacked him hard enough to cause him to choke on the food he was eating.
"Let's just say it's not the worst thing, okay?"
The dinner progressed at a rapidly awkward rate until, to each of their reliefs, it was over. They were led by their parents respectively to their new rooms, where they would turn in for the night after such a long and crazy day.
Robin sat down on the edge of the bed, feeling the weight of her over-eight-months pregnant belly and realizing just how terrible a time it was now for her to be that way,
"You okay?" Barney asked as he took off his suit jacket and hung it on the coathanger by the door.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Robin answered breathily. "Just...one question though."
Barney sat down next to her. "What?"
"WHAT THE CRAP WAS THAT?" Robin screamed at him. "Seriously, the whole deal with your mom roasting me to no end, her weird, creepy, strangely sexual comments- why didn't you stop it?"
"Uh, because that's my mom, who I haven't seen in over a year?" Barney responded. "I mean, come on, Robin. She's my mom- she's entitled to know what's been going on just as much as she's entitled to know every nitty gritty yet oddly satisfying detail of what's been going on."
Robin rolled her eyes. "Dude, she said, and I quote, 'we've been at it constantly if you know what I mean.' You don't think that maybe that's a super weird, more than slightly creepy thing for a mom to say in front of her son and his wife?"
Barney considered it. "Nah, not really."
Robin released another frustrated sigh. "Barney, I don't know how I'm gonna deal with this. I can't have your mom constantly harping on us, badgering us, annoying us to no end- I can't do it."
"Hey now," Barney said calmly, reassuringly placing a hand on Robin's shoulder to comfort her. "She'll lay off eventually! All parents act like that, Robin, it's totally normal."
Just then, there was a knock on their door. It was Judy. "Barney, I think I left some lace panties in here!" she called. "Do you see any?"
Barney searched the room until his eyes fell upon a black lace pair of underwear laying on the floor, which he amusedly picked up.
He opened the door. "Here you go," he said as Judy gratefully took them from him.
"Thanks, dear!" she said. "You are a blessing!"
Barney shut the door, smiling at Robin. "Parents, am I right?"
"Totally normal," Robin echoed dryly.