Chapter 1: Concerning Scouts
Outside of Harvest, a horse-driven cart was making its way toward the gates at a slow pace. The man driving it was a Medic, which was defined by his white overcoat, red gloves, and black wide-brimmed hat. He was just passing beneath a bare tree when a young Scout jumped down from its high branches and tapped the Medic's hat lightly with a wooden bat.
"Hey, Gerald," the young Scout said snidely. "You're late."
The Medic, Gerald, looked slowly up at the young Scout, revealing a long gray beard, and said, "A Medic is never late, but only if he chooses to, Freddie Billows."
In response, the young Scout Freddie laughed and so did Gerald as they shook hands. Then Freddie sat next to Gerald as they approached Harvest when a group of children appeared from underneath a rusted pick-up truck. They swarmed around the cart and begged Gerald to show them magic. Gerald chuckled a little and waved a hand over his chest, which caused a small book with a mean-looking face on it to emerge. Next, he tossed the book up into the air, which exploded harmlessly in mid-air. The children were delighted, allowing Gerald and Freddie to move straight on into Harvest, which consisted of small and large barns arranged in clusters with a square shed between them.
"Freddie, I've noticed that the men and women have been giving me odd looks since we've entered," Gerald said, noticing a grumpy Scout giving him the stink-eye.
"Oh, that's because the people around here think you bring trouble," Freddie answered nonchalantly. "Ever since you sent my uncle on that adventure."
"If you're referring to that incident with the Giant Robot, I did not send him on the adventure," Gerald corrected. "I merely got Bobbie to leave the house. Speaking of which, how has he been?"
"Fine, but lately he's been acting weird. I think he's planning something, and you know what it is!"
"What makes you think that?"
"Cuz you're a Medic, and Medics are supposed to know things, right?"
"I am a medicine man, not a mind-reader."
"Then why do you dabble in magic?"
"Sometimes, medicine cannot solve everything."
"Yeah, whatever. I'll see you later at the party," Freddie said as he jumped off the cart and ran to meet up with some Scouts that were his age.
Then Gerald made a sudden turn into an alley between two barns, and found a small side-shed with a sign on top that said, 'Billows Residence: Do Not Disturb'. Gerald, ignoring the sign, parked the cart near a pile of hay which the horse ate gladly and then knocked on the door with his Freedom Staff. There came a series of angry shouts, then the shed door was opened to reveal a middle-aged Scout with a balding head, an over-sized red T-shirt, baggy pants, and worn-out sneakers.
"Gerald," the middle-aged Scout said, as if he couldn't believe what he saw.
"Bobbie Billows, my old friend," Gerald replied, and heartily hugged the shorter Scout.
As the two walked inside, the middle-aged Scout, Bobbie, said, "It's been many years since your last visit. Would you like something to eat? Something to drink?"
"I would prefer coffee, thank you," Gerald said as he sat in one of the chairs around a small table in the middle of the shed.
"All right, I'll get you some in a minute." Bobbie closed the shed door behind him and locked it. Then after looking out the window, he said, "I apologize for the shouting. It's just that all my relatives have been bugging me non-stop since I'm getting old, like I'm going to die soon. So, I've decided that I'm going through with my plan."
"I see. Freddie suspects something, you know."
"Of course he does! He's a Billows, for God's sake!" Bobbie shouted as he poured what remained of the pot he had just brewed into a clean cup.
After Gerald received the coffee-filled cup from Bobbie, he asked, "So you're leaving everything to him?"
"Yes, yes, I wouldn't trust this house to anyone else, especially not the Satchel-Billows'. Ever since I returned from Thunder Mountain, those money-grubbing fiends think I have treasure locked away in here somewhere, even though there isn't."
"You do seem stressed in the mind. Would you like some 'special' medicine before the party?"
Once Gerald pulled out two joints, Bobbie said, "Yeah. That would be nice."
Later that evening, the Scout men and women of Harvest gathered inside the square shed, where there were lots of tables set with food and beverages while a group of musicians played guitars, violins, and small drums. Couples danced across the floor before a large platform close to the back where a large circular floor-light that once represented the Control Point from the days of RED and BLU (RED vs. BLU) illuminated a table with a large cake on it. Freddie was helping himself to a variety of sodas when he noticed a Scout with a thick curl of hair at the top of his head wearing a blue T-shirt sitting by himself. Recognizing him, Freddie walked up to him and said, "Steve, what's eating you?"
"It's nothing, Freddie, I'm just too nervous to dance," Steve replied, staring at the dance-floor with longing eyes.
When Freddie traced Steve's gaze, he noticed a young female Scout wearing a long red skirt who was dancing at the center while people cheered at her from every angle.
"Oh, I get it," Freddie said leering at Steve. "You're just too nervous to dance because Rachel's out there."
Noticing Freddie's leering, Steve replied, "If you're getting ideas, Freddie, I don't want to be a part of them."
But before Steve could protest, Freddie pulled him up by his bandaged wrists and dragged him onto the dance-floor. Meanwhile, Bobbie was busy telling the children about his encounter with three Bird-Headed men (mercentaries wearing the halloween cosmetic item where you get bird heads), who tied him and the thirteen Engineers in large sacks. They were going to cook them for food, when Gerald showed up and turned the three into stone. As the children clapped after he had finished his story, there were two Scouts that were Freddie and Steve's age sneaking out of the shed. One had dark-brown hair with a red and white-striped headband while the other had crazy blond hair. They made their way to Gerald's cart, and started rummaging through all the bags and boxes that were placed on it.
"I thought you said the Bombinomicon was here, Mickey," said the Scout with the crazy blond hair who was standing on the back of the cart.
"Well how hard can it be to find a big book with a bomb on the cover?" replied the Scout with the headband, glancing every now and then at the shed where the party was. "What's the matter, Patten, you frickin stupid?"
"I'm not stupid, Mickey, I'm just not finding it," Then something caught Patten's eye, and he said, "Hey, wait a minute, there's something back here and it's book-shaped."
"That must be it!" Mickey exclaimed, and leaped up onto the cart.
With both hands, Patten pulled an enormous book out from underneath a large crate. It was exactly like the one Gerald had used to amuse the children earlier, but bigger. Once the book was completely exposed, the eyes on the cover lit up, followed by a voice.
"Aw, man, thanks for getting me out from under those crates, Gerald," the book said with relief. Then when it levitated itself upward facing the two Scouts, it said, "Hey, you're not Gerald. Where is that old quack?"
"Gerald is not a quack!" shouted Patten.
"Whoa, whoa, take it easy! I was just kidding, man!" replied the Bombinomicon. "Now how about some fireworks? That's what you want to see, right?"
"Yeah, how did you know?" asked Mickey.
"The Bombinomicon knows everything, my friend! Even your innermost desires!"
"That's enough, Bombinomicon!"
A flash of white light came out of nowhere, blinding Mickey and Patten, and when they looked again, the Bombinomicon had vanished, as if it was never on the back of the cart in the first place. Then someone came up from behind the two Scouts and grabbed them by the collars of their shirts.
"Michael Bourbon, and Patterson Tyke," growled Gerald. "Don't ever play with forces that you don't comprehend!"
"Yes, sir," both Scouts whimpered.
As the party drew to a close, Bobbie was called up onto the platform to blow out all fifty-six candles on the cake and make a speech. Everyone cheered as Bobbie blew them all out in one swoop, and then he addressed all the families that were present. Afterwards, there was silence as Bobbie cleared his throat.
Then in a clear voice, Bobbie said, "As you all know, today is my fifty-sixth birthday, which would've been unusual during the days of RED and BLU. Even the clones from the Machine Wars (Mann vs. Machine) would never have lived as long as I have, but those violent days are behind us! We now live in a time of peace and prosperity. Let us hope it stays that way!"
The older Scouts cheered loudly at these words, and some of the young ones joined in as well, including Freddie.
"So for this reason, I…" Bobbie paused, and fiddled with something from one of his pant-pockets. "…I feel that the young shouldn't have to inherit the burdens of the old, but some things can't be helped. Goodbye."
Then in a split second, Bobbie vanished before everyone's eyes, which made the women gasp and the men's eyes widened. But after the initial shock, they all clapped and cheered, believing it to be some kind of trick. So the dancing and feasting resumed, while Bobbie, who was actually invisible, walked quickly back to his house, and once he was safely inside, he reappeared by pressing the button on a small watch he had in his hand. Unfortunately, Gerald was there too.
"Dummkopf (Idiot)! Do you realize what you've done?!" asked Gerald in an angry tone.
"I gave them a good scare!" Then Bobbie laughed briefly. But when Gerald's expression didn't change, Bobbie sighed, "Look, I was only having a little fun. Lighten up!"
"Spy technology is not something to toy with," Gerald said, and held his hand out. "Now give it to me."
"Why?" Bobbie asked.
"You said you were going to give Freddie 'everything', right? That includes the watch."
"No, you can't have it, it's mine I tell you, MINE!" But as he spoke, he gripped the watch so tightly that he accidentally pressed a button that made him drop it. Then something fell out of the back of the watch, and it surprised Gerald more than Bobbie. It was a bomb, similar to the ones that were pushed in carts during the days of RED and BLU, only much smaller, and it was attached to a gold chain. While Gerald was fascinated, Bobbie leaned down to pick up the two items.
"If you don't leave now, the people will come looking for you," Gerald said in a commanding tone.
So reluctantly, Bobbie left the watch and the miniature bomb on the floor, grabbed the pack and walking stick he had already laid out by the door, and left.
End of Chapter 1