Thin reeds of sunlight beamed in from the small cracks and holes in the ceiling above Robin and Barney as they slept. The bedsheets were crumpled up around them, Barney laying behind Robin as the big spoon, his arms wrapped around her, face buried in her hair. Robin snored like a tractor, her mouth open, Barney's hand over her belly.
Unbeknownst to the two, Dagger had leaped up onto the bed and was now licking Robin's face affectionately, making little slurping sounds as his pink tongue lapped over her soft lips.
She smiled, murmuring in her sleep, "oh, Barney, mmm, that feels good." She stroked Dagger's fur, mentally misreading the soft feeling of it as Barney's own silky hair. "Your hair is so soft..."
He responded somehow, hearing her voice through his subconscious, with "oh, yeah, that does feel good..."
In his sleep, he pushed himself up tighter to her, bumping his hips into her lower back, receptive to something that wasn't occurring anywhere but in he and Robin's own dreams.
He even went so far as to reach his hand up her shirt, feeling around for the clasp of her bra, before an earth shattering crash interrupted their sleep-fantasy, setting Dagger off and causing him to bark aggressively, then jump straight over Barney's side as he bounded off the bed, instantly awakening both he and Robin.
"WHERE'S THE BABY?" Barney exclaimed instantly as he shot awake, which in turn did the same to Robin.
She slowly opened her eyes, coming to, scratching her head. "Dude, what the-?"
A shout from down the hallway said it all. "BREAKFAST IS READY! THEODORE EVELYN MOSBY, I THOUGHT YOU GREW OUT OF SLEEPING SO LATE!"
Barney and Robin turned to each other, looks of both disgust and secondhand embarrassment for Ted on their faces. Robin smirked.
"Ready to go have breakfast with Mama Mosby?" she teased.
"As ready as I'll ever be," Barney muttered.
Breakfast that morning was just as awkward, if not more so, than the previous night's dinner. There was a toaster fire, the spilling of orange juice, endless roasting once again, including criticism of Tracy, whom Ted had then just introduced to his mother, and to top it all off, Dagger leaped onto the table and snatched Ted's blueberry muffin straight from under his nose. The event concluded with its climax, that which took the cake as Robin simply stormed out, leaving the shelter and prompting Barney to take after her.
On the far side of town, James and Cindy had no idea where they had ended up or where the others had gone. They'd altogether missed the smoke signal, and had wandered so far away that they wondered if they were at the very edge of the city by now. Nothing looked familiar, and all of the crumbling ramshackle buildings simply blended together, forming a drab scene around them.
"They're dead," James stated, lowering his gun. "There's no other way to say it. I hope that Barney's gotten to that big Bro Palace in the sky, as he always called it."
"They're not dead, you downer," Cindy quipped. "We've just gotten really, really separated from them. But you're good with a compass, so with any luck, you should be able to help us retrace our steps, right?"
"If I had a compass, sure," James responded. "Thing is, I don't. I lost it in that fight with that two-headed monster back there."
Cindy looked down disappointedly, kicking the dirt with her grimy boot. "Then I guess we'd better accept the fact that we really are lost."
James nodded. "Guess so."
Considering it was mid-afternoon, they saw no use in setting up camp for the night just yet, so they kept walking, hoping that they could somehow locate the others. So far, there didn't seem to be a survivor- at least not a human one- for miles. However, they did encounter an array of odd wildlife as they wandered, and a vast majority of them were far from cute and friendly.
Large packs of undead dogs roamed freely, sniffing for fresh prey with their shredded up black noses, like companions to their once-human counterparts. They snarled at any noise, further exposing already exposed pearly fangs, which glinted ominously. When a pack of about four had attacked, Cindy and James had been forced to shoot them, and they weren't the only deadly creatures either.
Horrible rodent-like animals scuttled and scurried about, and once Cindy had shot one, she realized that it was some sort of insect/mammal hybrid, a crime against nature as she had described it, something that was never meant to be by God or the universe itself, an abomination signifying true end times. They were nasty beasts, about the size of cats, with hard shells on their backs and lots of little legs, like cockroaches, but had furry brown underbellies and the pointed, whiskered faces of a rodentia species, rats, perhaps mice. At any rate, they were highly hostile.
The two pressed on, however, as the survivors that they were, and didn't stop until they stumbled into a scene straight from the realm of a nightmare.
"Robin, come on!" Barney pleaded as he walked up the stairs, gripping the rusty railing. "My mom didn't mean it! I know she didn't, but you know how she is, you shoulda known what to expect back there!"
"Barney, I can't live with that anymore, plain and simple!" Robin snapped at him. "There is no way that I can live with a woman who criticizes ever one thing I do, and her buddies, who, guess what? ALSO criticize everything I do! I'm done with this, Barney. I- I can't go back down there." She wiped her eye with the back of her sleeve, while Barney looked at her with genuine concern darkening in his own.
"But we have no other choice; I know that they're hard to live with, but they're the only option we've got! What do you suggest then? I mean, they're our parents, we can't just leave em behind and expect them to fend for themselves, even though, come to think of it, they've been doing a pretty good job of that so far. Still though...doesn't your mom say anything?"
"My mom thinks that zombies can be trained to be pets, so she's not exactly the person you want life advice from," Robin responded, running her fingers through her hair.
Barney licked his lips. "Right, I guess that is kind of a problem." He tucked both hands into his pockets and thought for several minutes.
As he did so, Lily emerged from the bushes behind them, having just walked up the stairs and come out through the secret entrance.
"Okay, my dad is officially insane," she told them.
And one look at Lily, who was covered in splashes of blood, her hair soaked with it, guts and gore splattered all over her, and Barney and Robin didn't even have to ask.
They could have talked things through civilly, as calm, mature adults with their parents. That seemed to be the good option, so late that night, they did. Or rather, they attempted to.
The intervention banner was strung up once again in the center room, and the gang, including Tracy, were sat around, while each took turns expressing their problems.
"Robin, dear, I apologize if I've been a little harsh on you," Loretta told her. "Can we call a truce?"
Robin had her arms crossed, resting over her pregnant belly. "If you retract what you said about my hair, career choice, clothing style, and personal ability to parent, then yeah, I don't see a problem."
Loretta leaned forward, her face shadowed by the candlelight, one side illuminated. "I'm sorry about what I've said. You know, life is tough lately, and some of us are just trying to survive out here, but I do truly mean it when I say I'm sorry. Truce?"
Barney glanced expectantly at Robin.
"Fine," she agreed, and Loretta got up and hugged her before she could say anything else.
"Now, Marshall," Ted said as he pointed with his newfound sword, which his mother had found in the rubble where his old apartment once stood. "Discuss your grievances. Put forward your complaints. Let your emotions run free."
Marshall pressed his fingers together. "Mom," he finally choked out. Judy and Mickey were sitting together, holding hands at that moment. "I love you. And I'm glad that you've found love after Dad passed away. And I'm glad that said love lets you shoot first every time you see a zombie, and also lets you remove its head to use as a trophy, even though that really is super weird considering they were once people, but I digress. What I'm trying to say here is that I'm proud for you."
Judy was smiling, and placed one hand over her heart endearingly.
"HOWEVER," Marshall continued. "You and Mickey are really annoying lately. And quite frankly, your relationship is making Lily and I wildly uncomfortable, especially when we try to consummate our love and can only hear the sound of you two..." He gagged a little. "...Consumnating your own love next door."
Even Barney cringed at that.
"Aw, Marshall, that's a perfectly natural thing," Judy told him reassuringly. "Everyone gets ashamed of their parents from time to time, and I don't take offense to it at all."
"But your mom is really spicy, if you catch my drift," Mickey suddenly interjected. "It's been so long since I've gotten to be in the presence of a real woman like that..."
"Oh God," Lily choked.
"All those years of fantasizing, and here we are. The real deal, so much better than what you think about when you have nothing but your own body and lots of time on your hands. She's hotter than any playboy model I've ever seen."
Barney nearly spit out the scotch he had just taken a sip of.
Ted, meanwhile, had ashamedly hidden his face behind Tracy, who had her hand over her own. Even Dagger had covered his face with his paw.
But Barney was ironically, at the time, ogling Virginia from across the room, in a way that unsettled Ted just as much as Mickey had.
"And Barney, you're not getting away so easily either!" His voice cut in, distracting Barney.
"Wha?"
"Don't act like you don't know! I've seen you making googly eyes at my mom ever since you got here!"
"Hey, it's not my fault your mom is hot!" Barney retorted. "I mean, Robin's the only one for me, but hypothetically, if she wasn't in this whole equation, your mom and I would be one in...more ways than one!"
The intervention only soared to flames from there.
The sun had set so many hours ago, yet James and Cindy hadn't even begun to settle down for the night.
"I really do wonder what the B-Man's up to," James said, a hint of longing in his voice for his brother.
"And Tracy," Cindy added. "I know she's a survivor, but I'm sure she's really missing my pointers."
Cindy swung her bayonet as she walked, looking down at the ground.
From not far in the distance, that familiar, guttural growling sound could be heard, but this time, it sounded different somehow.
Cindy stopped in her tracks and listened to the eerie sounds of the night, awake with all sorts of demonic beasts.
Horde.
There was a horde of zombies somewhere close, and there was no way she could discover just what type they were.
James gulped. "Uh...Cindy..."
His voice drew her attention away from the noises alone, and she looked up, discovering that they were just feet away from a chain wire fence that was likely several feet high. A large sign on the fence read "DANGER: ZOMBIES" in huge, bolded print, and as she tentatively drew closer, she realized that behind that hellish fence was a mob of the evil beings, all snarling, clawing, and trying to break free.
James ducked behind her, afraid by now- after all, he was a Stinson, and their bravery could only prove as a mask for so long. But Cindy had a sort of fatal intrigue of the sight. It was all so mysterious, really- where had this...containment unit come from? Had it always been here? Questions flooded her mind, and for several seconds, she was only stuck staring at it, as if frozen there, entranced by something she shouldn't have been.
There was a sudden loud buzzing sound, like static interference, which crackled over...loudspeakers? Then, a voice. The voice of a woman, a high one, echoing through the night, drowning out the gurgly growls of the zombies.
"So!" she declared, the abruptness causing Cindy to startle. "You two were stupid enough to walk straight into my trap, huh? Ha! Well, we'll see how long you last once I get you back to my place, suckers!"
There was an ominous creaking sound from above, and before either of them could move a muscle, a rather large object fell forward, one that would have been just light enough to knock them unconscious for the moment, but James fortunately dodged it just in time. Cindy, however, was not so lucky.