Author's Note: Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who has taken the time to read, favorite, review, comment on, etc…this story! You have no idea how much your feedback means to me. This story is a first venture into creative writing for me and knowing that there are people out there enjoying reading it makes me so happy Thank you all!
On another note, I realize that updates are taking a bit between chapters. Life has gotten very busy lately but next week my schedule opens up so I am hoping to get a lot written then. Thanks for your patience!
Chapter 9
"There are two types of secrets: the kind youwant to keep in,
and the kind you don't dare to let out."
Ally Carter
Only 7am and I've already run 3 miles, done laundry and am now in the kitchen making breakfast for Gen and I. I couldn't sleep last night, too much nervous energy after my conversation with Jerzy yesterday.
"Hey lady, what smells so good?" Genesis asks as she sits down at the kitchen table.
"Pancakes, bacon and of course coffee" I say with a grin.
"Trouble sleeping last night?" Gen asks. I look at her questioningly. "I heard you up at 4:30 and head out around 5:00" she says in response.
"I'm sorry, I thought I was being quiet" I say and look down at the skillet on the stove sheepishly.
"No worries, I fell right back to sleep. Everything okay?" she asks.
"Sure" I say, but she just keeps staring at me with unflinching eyes. "Okay, okay. No everything isn't okay" I say as I walk two plates of food to the table. Genesis gets up and pours two cups of coffee and grabs the milk, then joins me at the table.
After we eat in silence a few minutes she finally speaks "Alright spill it woman, the silence is killing me!" she says with a laugh.
I laugh back. "I guess I just have a lot of nervous energy. I keep thinking about how much my past seems to be circling back around lately. I finally gather the nerve to talk to you about it, and suddenly memories are everywhere. Turns out, the clubs owners, they are part of a motorcycle club as well. In fact, they are a charter of the same club I used to have ties to. I just can't shake the feeling that I'm not going to be able to hide from my past much longer and it terrifies me."
As I finish talking I look across the table and meet Genesis' sympathetic eyes.
"Grace, we all have secrets, how do you think we ended up here? We hide from them as long as we can, but eventually they all catch up to us. Me, I'm trying to hide from a less than legal past. Jerzy? Shoot I don't think anyone knows what that woman is hiding" she says with a laugh and I just smile. If Genesis only knew.
She continues "What makes Inside Voices work is that we respect each other's right to have secrets and keep them. Nobody pushes, nobody judges. None of us are perfect. If your past does come back to you, just know we are all still here. I'm not going anywhere and neither is anyone else."
"I suppose you're right, I'm just paranoid I guess" I say as I stand and clear the table. "As long as you don't tell me Jameson used to be a pimp I guess I can handle a few secrets" I say with a laugh.
"Oh honey, there's a story there. I don't know what exactly, but about 5 or 6 years ago he disappeared for a little over a year and no one knew where he went." Genesis says.
"Seriously? I thought he'd worked at Inside Voices longer than Jerzy?" I say.
"Technically, he has, but it hasn't been straight through. I've been there for 7 years and Jameson was there when I started. Then he disappeared for a while. Before he left, he was a serious partier: drinking every night, weed, and other more serious stuff that I never saw. But when he came back, he was a totally different person. No more drinking, no more smoking and was super serious. He made manager about 6 months later. It was all really strange. I was glad he got his shit together, just never knew what pushed him to do it, and I never asked" Genesis says.
"Well I'm glad I know this Jameson. He seems to be such a stand-up guy, I hate to think of him as anything else. I guess the club does draw in all us crazies" I say with a laugh.
Genesis and I clean up the kitchen and both decide to rest for a bit. I manage to sleep for a while and a few hours later I am showered and headed out to work.
"See you after work Genesis" I yell as I head out the door. Today is Gen's day off. We used to have all the same days off, but the past few weeks our schedules haven't been lining up as well.
I pull into the parking lot at the club and the first thing I notice is 3 Harley's parked along the side wall. I push all anxiety and fear out of my thoughts. I will not let my fear run my life, even if I want to run and hide right now. I grab my bag and walk into the club. I immediately look around for Jameson. I want to check in with him and see how things went with his friend yesterday. I don't see Jameson, but I do see Jury and 2 other guys in cuts with Nevada territory rockers at the bar.
As I hurry back to the dressing room, hoping to avoid being spotted by the guys at the bar, I almost run face first into Jameson.
"Oh, sorry" I say as I take a few steps back.
"Oh yeah sorry" Jameson replies with a scowl on his face.
"Um Jameson, are you okay?" I ask with raised eyebrows.
"Sure, why wouldn't I be?" He says with a forced smile, but that scowl is still in his eyes. "I gotta' get over the bar Grace, can you move so I can get by?" He asks impatiently.
"What?" I say as I look around confused and realize I'm blocking the doorway. "Sure, sorry" I say and take a few more steps back opening a path.
Jameson pushes by with a mumbled "mmm hmm" as he heads to the bar. Geez, what's got him so worked up? I'm guessing things didn't go well with his "old friend" yesterday.
I head back to the dressing room and I see Declan in the hallway typing on his phone.
"Hey babe" I call out to him.
He looks up, startled. "Hey Grace. I didn't realize anyone was here yet."
"Sorry, didn't mean to surprise you. I just need to get a new costume together so I'm in a bit early tonight." I say.
"No big deal, I just didn't hear you come in is all" he says still clearly unnerved by my catching him off guard.
"You okay Declan? It's not like you to be so jumpy." I say.
"I'm good, just a little tense tonight I guess" he replies as he looks back at his phone.
I open the door to my dressing room when I hear Declan call "Hey Grace?"
I glance over my shoulder "Yeah sweetie?"
You got a minute?" He asks.
"Sure, come on in" I say as I open the door and walk into the room. Declan sits down on the couch, an old burgundy and gold plaid monstrosity of what we call "unknown origins." Needless to say no one ever sits in it without a blanket underneath them. I walk to my closet and take out my new costume, a green and silver checkerboard leotard with a silver fringe skirt. I need to make a few adjustments to the straps, so I take out my sewing kit and am just getting started when Declan begins to talk.
"You notice anything strange about Jameson lately?" He asks as he lights a cigarette and takes a long drag.
"What do you mean?" I ask as I glance up at him. I know exactly what he means, but I don't want to gossip so I just wait for him to continue.
"I'm not sure to be honest. He never showed up for work last night, didn't answer his phone when me and Jerzy both called him. Then he shows up today acting like someone pissed in his Cheerios. We were just talking about added security for some big events coming up this week with the owners and when I suggested we might need to hire some additional guys, it almost came to blows. I swear I haven't seen him act like this since…."he trails off.
I look at him, concern obvious in my eyes "Since when Declan?"
"Let's just say it's been a few years." He says cryptically.
"Okay, well I agree something definitely seems off. I know I haven't been here as long as you, but as long as I've been here I've never seen him act so flustered or short with an employee as he has with me the past few days. I don't know what he was like a few years ago, but I do know what a man on the edge looks like, and right now that is exactly what Jameson is" I say as I finish adjusting the straps on my costume and stand to hang it.
Declan stands "Well I guess I should let you get ready. Thanks for the talk Grace, it's just good to know I'm not the only one seeing it."
I walk over to Declan and hug him. "Declan, I seem to be saying this a lot lately, but I truly believe what makes this place work is how much we love and respect each other. We know we all have our secrets and we let each other keep them, but when things look rough we have to step in and try to help, because that's what family does. Whatever you need from me, you just ask" I say as I walk to my vanity and sit down to start my makeup.
"Can you just help me keep an eye on him? We've got some really big events this week that he's talking about with the owners right now and I'm not sure how he might react to any special requests" he says.
"Of course" I say as I turn around to look at him. "I am happy to. After I finish performing tonight I will stick to him as best I can. The owners like me, so it shouldn't be too hard to explain my hanging around him if they are still here."
"Thanks Grace" Declan says as he leaves closing the door behind.
Some seriously crazy shit is going on around here. Jerzy is Jury's former old lady, Jameson is a recovering druggie who is acting like a mad man lately, Declan is acting more nervous and skittish than a virgin at her first motorcycle rally and me, well, I just keep waiting for the shit storm that is my past to bite me in the ass once again.
A few hours later I am done with my performance and heading back stage to touch up my makeup. There's a pretty small crowd tonight but I'm hoping I can make a few more bucks working the floor for a while. I'm walking into my dressing room when I hear a female voice call my name.
"Grace!" I look around the door frame and see one of the new girls, Corvair, running toward me. She is a beautiful girl. About 20 years old with dark brown chestnut curls, skin the color of café au lait and eyes that remind me of rich dark chocolate.
"Slow down sweetheart, you look like you're about to run right out of your skirt. Save the clothing removal for the stage, you'll make more money that way" I say with a laugh.
"Oh Grace, I am so screwed! Tonight is my first solo performance and I forgot my shoes at home. I asked Jameson if he could push my performance 20 minutes so I could go get them, but he told me dance on time or find a new job. I really need this job, I don't know what to do" she says, her eyes swimming with tears.
"Oh honey, come here" I say as I put my arm around her shoulders. "You don't listen to what Jameson says. He isn't himself tonight, don't take it personally. Let's head into my dressing room and see if Genesis or I have something that will fit you. What size are you?"
"A 6 ½ or 7" she replies.
"Alright well I'm a 6 and Genesis is a 7 so I am sure we have something that will work. Your costume has, let's see, bronze and black with a little hint of burgundy. Oh I know!" I practically shout as I reach into our shoe rack. "These will be perfect! I say with a smile as I hand her a pair of shiny bronze platform 3 ½ inch heels with a burgundy lace layover. She slides them on and they fit and look fantastic!
"Okay sweetheart, you go wow those guys! Hopefully you can separate them from their cash a little better than I could tonight" I say with a smile.
Corvair hugs me tight "Thank you so much Grace! I seriously was losing my mind there for a minute. You are the best, I really appreciate your help."
"No problem honey. No one knows better than me how hard this can be in the beginning, you need anything you just ask. Now get out there, you don't want to miss your call!" I say as I playfully push her out the door and close it behind her.
I quickly touch up my makeup and leave the dressing room with a new goal in mind, to find Jameson and figure out what the hell is going on with him.
I walk out into the main room but don't see him anywhere. I think I might need a drink to get through this night, so I make my way over to Jerzy at the bar.
"Hey baby girl" she says with a smile as I walk up. "What can I get you?"
"Just a beer, thanks" I answer. She slides an ice cold bottle into my hand and I take a drink. "Jerzy, you seen Jameson around?"
"Not in about 15 minutes, why what's up?" She asks.
"I wish I knew." She looks at me with furrowed eyebrows. "He scared the new girl senseless over shoes and he and Declan almost came to blows earlier tonight. I'm really worried about him."
She closes her eyes and when she opens them again, I notice how tired she looks. "Honey, Jameson has a lot of his own ghosts and sometimes those ghosts come back to haunt him. I think you're right to be worried, just be careful how much you try to help. Jameson's ghosts are some pretty deadly ones and I don't want to see you get hurt."
I'm about to answer her when I see Jameson come storming out of his office, phone to his ear and venom in his eyes. He is heading toward the back door.
"Thanks Jerzy" I say. "I appreciate you being honest with me and I will be careful. He's just been so good to me since I got here, I can't ignore my gut on this one. I know something is really wrong, I can feel it." I finish the beer and then walk toward the door I just saw Jameson exit.
As I get closer to the door I see that it is open a crack. I am about to open it and make my presence known when I hear angry whispers on the other side. There are two figures hidden by shadows, but I can make out that it is Jameson and a woman. The woman is at least 6 inches shorter than Jameson, probably about 5'6" and really skinny. I can't make out what they are saying other than a few words, but their body language is filled with rage. Jameson starts to walk away but she chases him and grabs his arm. This moves them a few steps closer to me and I can make out more of what they are saying now. I feel like an asshole eavesdropping, but something about this situation won't let me walk away.
"Look Jameson, I just need you to help me out. I'm stuck in this shit-hole town for another week and I am really hard up" the woman says.
"That isn't my life anymore. You know that. It's a real bitch move trying to pull me back into your junkie life. I worked hard to get out of that life." Jameson says angrily.
"I know baby" she says as she runs her hands up and down his chest in what I am sure she thinks is a seductive move. "I feel just awful asking you for this, but I really need you. Don't you remember how much fun we used to have together? How good we were together? I do baby. Those memories get me through the shitty excuse for sex I have in my life now." As she says this she leans in to kiss his cheek and I can see the back of her head. She has blonde, wavy hair that looks like it hasn't been washed in days.
"I know what you're trying to do and it won't work. Honestly, I wouldn't even know where to get you any stuff these days" he says trying to push her off.
"Bull shit Jameson" she shouts. "You run a fucking whore house, you know where to get a little crank" she says as she shoves him.
"Alright you little cunt" Jameson says with a snarl. "I was trying to be nice, but I'm done. You need to leave me the fuck alone. I want nothing to do with you. I don't care who you are, who you are married to. You can threaten me any way you want, I'm not getting shit for you." He turns to walk away when she calls after him.
"So I can say anything I want huh? I guess that means you won't care if I tell the truth about what really happened that night, what brought on your born again saint transformation?" She says and I can hear the sneer in her voice.
He turns back to her and says "You can't out me without outing yourself, and that is one thing I know you won't ever do."
"Don't bet on it asshole. I've already lost everything that meant anything to me. You get me what I want or I take us both down. It would make me happier than I have been in years to watch your pompous ass go down" she says with an evil cackle. "You've got 24 hours."
With that she turns and heads into the parking lot and Jameson walks towards the door way I am standing in. Shit! I turn and run for the nearest closet. I pull the door almost all the way closed just before Jameson walks by me. He turns and looks around for a moment and I catch a glimpse of his eyes. The terror I see in them is unnerving. It's been a long time since I've seen terror like that. All at once my heart is breaking for him but I am also filled with a sense of dread. There is something going on here that just doesn't make sense and I have a strong suspicion that things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.