* In the Blink of an Eye *

Only ten days had passed since Josh and Anna's wedding, yet it seemed like it was only yesterday. Nick shook his head in disbelief. "How could something so good, crash and burn so fast?" Nick wondered silently. It just was simply unbelievable. His life as he knew it was turned upside down in an instant. In the blink of an eye it was all gone. Nick just couldn't wrap his brain around it.

The rain was falling fast and furiously as he pulled into his driveway. Shutting off his engine he sat quietly listening only to the sound of his windshield wipers swishing back and forth ferociously. Nick just stared at his house for a few minutes before getting out of the truck. He was remembering when he and Jules bought it. Both he and Jules couldn't stand the sight of the Berman's house leering at them everyday after all that happened there with Jimmy Cole, so they agreed it was time to put his house up on the market and move away. They had looked at a few before they found this one. As soon as they drove up to it, they looked at each other and smiled; they knew it was meant for them. They both loved that house, loved their neighborhood, and knew it was exactly what they had hoped for.

Nick swallowed back the lump in his throat as he looked at the house staring back at him. Nick knew his daughter would be napping and it would be the perfect time to catch Jules at home. He couldn't stand it; he just had to see his wife; he had to make her understand how much he loved her and that she was the only woman in his life and has been since the day he met her. He lived and breathed for his wife and daughter. They were the loves of his life and they always have been. Nick had to see her, he had to talk to her, and if his daughter was sleeping he knew he could find Jules at home.

He contemplated using his key to get inside and out of the down pouring rain quickly, but he didn't want to scare her and he certainly didn't want to come across so bold. So instead he jumped out of his truck and allowed the rain to drench him as he walked up to the front door. Standing before it, Nick took a deep breath, exhaled loudly, and rang his doorbell. He looked down while he waited to keep the whipping rain out of his face, and noticed he had forgotten to take off his CSI vest before leaving work. He shook his head in disgust. True he had just worked a double, but that wasn't why he forgot...he just couldn't seem to think straight or know what the hell he was doing anymore. While he swept the rain off of it with his hands, he contemplated running back and throwing it in his truck, but, before he could, the front door opened.

Nick saw the startled look on her face; she was not expecting him. She looked pale and her eyes were red and puffy. He knew instantly she had been crying. She had obviously taken the opportunity to let herself cry hard while their daughter slept peacefully.

"Nick," she said flatly staring at him.

"Honey, I..." he couldn't get out the words he had imagined saying.

"Nick, you shouldn't..." she could only get out the three words before she swallowed hard and touched her hair as if she was embarrassed by her appearance.

He wished she didn't feel that way. She had to know he always thought she was gorgeous no matter what she looked like.

"Honey, please," he tried hard not to let his voice tremble.

She looked at the ground but he could still see the enormous pain that washed over her face.

"If you will just let me try to make sense of all of this...if we could talk," he pleaded as the rain pelted the back of his neck angrily.

"Nick...," she said a third time not able to get any other words out of her mouth. Her heart was aching. It was literally hurting inside her.

"I know Em is sleeping...let me come in so we could talk...please," he felt the lump in his throat.

Jules swallowed hard again and could feel the sadness engulfing her. She wanted to cry just at the sight of him, but she refused. Not in front of him. She had been crying a lot this past week with him gone, keeping it hidden from their daughter and their friends. She was good at hiding her heartache, and she would try to fight back the tears now in order to hold it all together.

"Please, Honey. Please let me come in?" he begged.

Jules watched the rain spill off the brim of his LVPD Forensics cap for a few seconds before she stepped to the side giving him access into their home. Nick walked in slowly with his heart heavy.

"There really isn't much more we can talk about, Nicky," she finally spoke a full sentence.

"There has to be, Honey. There has to be a way to make you understand that I love you. I love you more than I ever knew possible. You and Emma are my life...my heart... I can't..."

Jules cut him off. "I understand that, and I believe Emma is your heart," she began.

Nick cut her off, "and you are too! You have to know that!" his voice trembled.

"Emma is your heart. I am not. If I was, Nick, if I was you would never have done what you did. You would never have been with her. You would have stopped, taken a step back, and ran the other way. But you didn't," her lip began to quiver. "You made a choice, Nicky. You made your choice."

"But I didn't, I swear to God I don't..." he reached for her but she backed away.

"NO, no, don't tell me you don't remember any of it. I don't want to hear that anymore. The pictures don't lie, Nick. They speak for themselves," she almost let her face wince from the images she saw, but she held herself together.

Nick looked at the floor. He was telling her the truth. He truly didn't remember any of it. He would never in a million years cheat on Jules. And yet, the pictures showed differently. The had arrived in the mail and they were also splattered across her FaceBook page. They were all sent anonymously.

Watching the rain drops drip off of him and onto the entrance hall tile, Nick relived his nightmare quietly in his own mind.

He remembered coming home and stumbling over the suitcase by the door. He didn't understand why it was there. When he caught his balance he looked up and saw her standing in the hallway with a manila envelope in one hand and their daughter held on her hip with the other. He hated thinking back to that day.

"Why is there a suitcase here, Babe?" he asked her a little annoyed that she left it there and he tripped over it.

"Because you are taking a little trip," she said. Her eyes were red and swollen. She looked over at Emma and said in a sweet voice, "because daddy needs to go away for his work, right, Emma?"

Nick wasn't sure what the hell she was talking about. He didn't have any trips planned and there were no conferences. Where was she getting that idea, he wondered.

"No I don't, Babe. Why do you think that?" he asked jerking back his head confused.

Jules shot him a look. "Yes you do, Daddy. YES, you do," she stressed sternly.

Nick knew she was covering something up to keep the truth away from their little girl.

"Daddy going on a trip...Daddy is," Emma smiled wide showing the same dimples as her mother.

"Come on, Em, let's go put on Barney, okaaay?" she kissed her forehead and began to sing the Barney theme song as she turned toward the living room.

Suddenly she stopped, turned back to Nick, and handed him the manila envelope before walking away. Nick had no clue what the hell was going on. He stood in the hallway and opened the envelope. He slid several pictures out of it. Nick squinted his eyes in disbelief. His stomach felt like it was hit with a cinder block. The pictures were taken at Josh and Anna's wedding a week earlier. He looked at the image of him lying on a geometric print bedspread on a hotel bed, Brooke Latham was straddling him, leaning over with her hands next to the sides of his head, her hair draping down touching his cheek and her mouth on his.

Nick pressed his lips together hard and frowned. He flipped to the next picture and closed his eyes for a minute. Brooke was still straddling him and it looked like she was riding him now. Although his pants were still on, his tuxedo shirt was open, exposing his white, ribbed, tank undershirt, and his bow tie was barely hanging on to his collar.

Nick shook his head in disbelief. He had no idea where these pictures came from. He could see that it was him. He recognized the tuxedo he was partially wearing. He remembered the room...it was the same one that he partied with his buddies in after the reception. But he had no idea why Brooke Latham was on top of him and he didn't remember it happening at all.

Nick flipped to the next picture and sucked in a huge gasp of air. He began to shake his head and let it hang down. How was he supposed to explain why Brooke had her dress pooled around her waist while straddling him as he lay flat on the bed? How was he going to explain why his hands were on her bare breasts and she was laughing with her head back? Nick rubbed his palm over his face. He couldn't look at the rest so he just slid them back into the envelope.

How could this be happening? This simply did not happen! But here it was in vivid color. Here was the evidence right there in his hand. His brain might not recall this nightmare, but the pictures captured it as proof.

Jules walked back into the hallway without Emma in her arms. She now allowed the tears to fall but she said nothing as they did. She stared at him with pain filled eyes before she finally spoke.

"They arrived today," she said, "...after they were posted all over my FaceBook wall for all to see, of course."

"But, I don't understand..." Nick tried to comprehend it all.

"I don't understand either, Nick," her voice cracked and her words were tight.

"How could you?" her voice trembled with pain and she covered her mouth to try to keep herself from sobbing. She didn't want their daughter to hear her.

"But Honey, I swear..." Nick tried to explain.

His heart shattered when he saw her face wince, her shoulders crumble, and her eyes begging to understand why. It killed him to hear her try to ask the same question again, "How could you?" and watch her put her hands over her heart as if she was trying to keep it from being ripped out of her chest. The pain he witnessed in her eyes was indescribable.

'But I ...," Nick continued.

"Nick, stop!" she put up her hand, "Just stop! Don't try to make a bigger fool out of me than you already have, okay?" she struggled to get the words out clearly.

Wiping her tears she continued. "I should have known... one woman was never enough for you...Warrick warned me years ago, but you had me fooled. You said I changed you. You said you loved me... You really are a bastard, Nick."

"Jules...I am telling you, I do not remember any of this," he pleaded.

Jules shook her head and rolled her eyes.

"Let me refresh your memory then, Nick. It was Josh's wedding in Texas. I went back to our room and you stayed up with your buddies," she said wiping the stream of tears from her face again. "You stumbled in at 5 in the morning. I laughed at how banged up you were. I had no idea..." she sucked in a strained breath of air, "...I had no idea, " she stuttered. "Now I know why."

Nick swallowed hard and shook his head. He knew the night she was talking about. And it was true he had gotten drunk as hell with his old college friends and he did stumble back to their room at 5 am. All of that was accurate, but not the part that he hooked up with Brooke. That simply couldn't be true.

"Nick..." she paused and straighten up, pulling herself together. It was as if he could actually see the wall she was building around herself. She swallowed hard and began again.

"Nick, I need you to take that suitcase. I packed a lot of your clothes and things you need," the tears started to stream down her face again as she spoke, but her words were hard and strong. "You need to get out."

"Whoa, whoa, Honey, no, no, wait a minute," he walked toward her with his hands out, but she backed away. "Honey we have to talk about this," he shook his head in disbelief.

"Emma!" she called out loudly. "Come give Daddy a kiss goodbye," she squeezed her eyes shut tight before her daughter toddled in.

"You go bye bye now, Daddy?" she asked as she walked to him not understanding what was happening.

Nick knelt down to her level and pulled her into his arms hugging her tightly.

Jules breathed in a huge breath and it shook as she exhaled. She watched as her daughter hugged her father and she covered her mouth with her hand to fight off the sobs.

"Daddy will be home soon, okay, Sweet Pea?" he looked at Jules as he said it. "It will just be for a little while. Daddy loves you, you know that, right Princess?" his voice cracked and his eyes filled with tears.

"Bye bye," she gave him a wet, sticky kiss on his lips as she held his face with her tiny, sticky, hands.

Jules watched with pure grief as Emma smiled at him and then tilted her head and frowned the same way Nick does.

"Yaw eyes cryin', Daddy?" she asked him still holding his face. He could smell the scent of Cheerios on her hands.

Nick looked into her eyes and held back his emotions with all his might.

"Yes, Honey... Daddy is sad to leave you because he will miss you so much," he grabbed his daughter and stood up hugging her tightly and pulling her head to his shoulder. He closed his eyes tight and held back his own sobs to protect his daughter from the agony inside him.

Jules stepped forward.

"Okay, Emma, Daddy needs to go now..." Jules said quietly.

Nick didn't want to let her go. He held on to her, keeping his eyes closed, still in shock at what was happening. His life, his happiness, everything he loved most in this world, was being torn out from under him. Nick understood his wife's pain. He understood why she was throwing him out. If he ever saw her with an old boyfriend in the positions those pictures showed him in, he wouldn't be able to look her in her face either. He would be devastated too. But he just didn't understand this nightmare...it simply wasn't possible. None of it made sense.

Jules reached out and touched Nick's shoulder to let him know she needed him to give her their daughter. She didn't want to pull Emma from him, but she needed him out of her sight. Still hugging his baby tightly, Nick opened his eyes and looked at Jules with a pained look she had never seen before. It was as if his eyes were speaking to hers, begging for forgiveness. Jules couldn't look at them. She held out her arms and looked at Emma instead.

"Come on, pretty girl, come to Mommy," her voice tight as she spoke.

Emma reached out and draped her arms around her mother's neck, scooting herself up onto her hip.

"Blow Daddy kisses," she said as she pressed her forehead into the side of her daughter's hair trying to muffle the pain.

The little girl with her Daddy's nose and bright smile, put her sticky palm to her lips and threw him kisses.

"Bye Bye, Daddy, Bye Bye!" she smiled wide and her eyes danced like her mother's once did. He could see he had killed that sparkle in his wife's eyes.

Nick reached up and pretended to grab her kiss and held his fist to his mouth.

"I love you, Sweet Pea," he could barely get the words out. "I love you and Mommy so much and Daddy will see you soon, okay? You be a good girl for Mommy until I get back," he looked up at Jules.

Jules looked down at the floor.

"Bye, Nick," she whispered and walked to the door opening it wide.

Nick closed his eyes for a second before picking up his suitcase. He stopped and looked at Jules and shook his head slowly before walking out his front door. He heard it close behind him.

"Nick?" her voice startled him from his memory.

"Nick, do you want to come in or just stand in the hallway?" she asked him.

He could only stare at her.

She stared back at him confused before speaking. "You left your vest on?" she asked surprised, "Here, I'll take it; it's soaking wet," she added, holding her hand out.

Nick nodded and took it off handing it to her.

He remained quiet while he watched her shake it a little as she walked into the dining room and hung it on the back of a dining room chair to dry off. Nick took off his cap and shook it a little too, then he ran his fingers through his hair and put it back on.

Jules turned back and walked into their living room and he followed. The two of them sat side by side, facing each other, on the couch. Jules sat with one leg under her and a throw pillow clutched in front of her chest while she leaned back on the arm of the couch. Nick sat sideways looking at her for a minute before he finally spoke.

"Honey, we need to talk this out. I miss you so, so much, Baby," he told her.

Jules stayed quiet this time. She seemed hardened and cold. She wasn't the same; he could feel it.

"Babe, listen to me, okay? Just give me a minute to tell you..." he began.

"Tell me what? That you don't remember?" she said with a cold, icy, tone, "That this couldn't possibly have happened? Do you think I am that stupid, Nick?" she rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Give me a little credit, Nicky. The pictures speak for themselves."

"But, no, no they don't," he shook his head and reached over and touched her leg.

She looked down at his hand touching her for a second and then looked back at him numbly.

Nick could feel how distant she was. It hurt him deeply because he knew she had built a wall around herself to keep from feeling. She was closed off from him now. Betrayed. She didn't seem to care anything about him. She wasn't crying. She wasn't trembling. She just looked at him with a distant stare and a cold chill. He knew she once had issues with abandonment and he knew he hurt her deeply which brought those issues all back for her. It looked as if she felt nothing for him and it terrified him. It scared him because he knew once she built up walls it would be nearly impossible to get through to her. She would shut him down completely...and he feared she would just run.

What Nick didn't know was Jules wasn't closed off from feeling. No, Jules was feeling an ache inside her that she had never felt before. She wished she was closed off from feeling, but she wasn't. In fact, she had been crying since Emma went down for her nap an hour earlier – something Jules had been doing for the past week. When the doorbell rang she had been in a ball on the couch sobbing and asking herself over and over "Why?"

Nick couldn't possibly know that she cried herself to sleep holding his pillow to her face every night after she knew her daughter was sleeping. She wouldn't let him see how much she missed him or how she didn't know how she would be able to stand life without him in it.

Jules knew exactly what she needed to survive this kind of pain. Her defense mechanism was to do what she did before she met Nick, to build a wall around herself to keep from feeling that horrible pain. It would be the only was she could put on a happy face and play with her daughter. And she would stay busy so she could keep Nick from interrupting her thoughts and invading her dreams. She refused to let the ache effect her. She refused to crumble or let herself be anything else but strong.

The sad fact for her now was that she could no longer trust him. He betrayed her.

Jules would just have to learn to live without him because she couldn't live with him.

Nick Stokes wasn't the man she thought she knew after all.