Author's Note: Thank you so much to all of you who have read, reviewed, given constructive criticism (which I always welcome and love)! I also want to thank you for your patience in waiting for this update. This is a very busy time at work for me and I've been sick so it took me a while to get this chapter written. I will do my best not to keep you waiting so long for the next one
Chapter 12
"Truth is everybody is going to hurt you
You just gotta find the ones worth suffering for."
~Bob Marley
What the hell was I thinking letting Wendy see my face? I mean sure, I was feeling bad ass in the moment, but now I am sitting in my living room ready to pee my pants. That was so stupid, careless. By now I'm sure she has told all the guys I'm here. Oh shit, Gemma too. In the moment I thought I was gaining the upper hand somehow, but what I really did was give it to her. These are the thoughts running on a loop through my mind when Gen gets home and finds me in a dark room on the floor by the balcony door, knees against my chest.
"Jesus Christ, Grace! What the hell happened?!" She says as she rushes over and sits beside me. I say nothing just let her hug me.
A few minutes later I tell her everything. Even as I'm saying it, I can't believe the words. Jameson is using heroin again, he knows Wendy and it seems like they have some history together. I tell her how self-destructive Wendy is and how worried I am about Jameson. When I get to the part about showing Wendy my face Gen says nothing but places her hand on my knee. As I finish we just look at each other.
"Damn" Genesis whispers.
"That about sums it up" I say with a harsh laugh.
"So what do we do now?" Gen asks.
"What do you mean?" I say.
"I mean, what's the plan? You didn't think I was going to let you figure this out on your own, did you?" she says with a smile.
She goes to the freezer and gets a container of Rocky Road ice cream and 2 spoons then rejoins me on the floor. We eat the whole thing as we try to make sense of the next steps. Ultimately, we come up with nothing. When we both head to our rooms to try and get some sleep, I finally realize something.
"Hey Gen" I call to her. "I think I know what I need to do. I need to stop treating this like a game and just face it. Tomorrow when I walk into that club, I am walking in as me. No armor, no masks, just me. Then let the chips fall where they may."
She smiles at me "Look at you being all grown up and stuff" she says as she laughs.
"Yup that's me, totally grown up" I say as push my hair back and start laughing when I realize there's ice cream in it. Pulling my sticky fingers away I say "Oh yeah, real grown up. Looks like I'm taking a shower before bed. Night Gen."
"Night Grace" she says as she laughs.
I take a quick shower and crawl into bed. The clock is glaring 5:30am in my face. Thank goodness we don't have to be at work until 5pm tomorrow.
Surprisingly I fall asleep quickly and get a pretty decent night's sleep before the alarm goes off at 12:00. Today is yoga class and I am really looking forward to it, I am always much more relaxed after. After class I stop into my favorite coffee shop for a latte and chocolate chip muffin to complete my relaxation routine. I sit in the shop and sip the latte while playing on my Kindle. I check my email and read a book I got for free off of Amazon, but it isn't holding my interest. Not sure anything could right now. I shut down the Kindle and look out the window. I have grown to love this town. Only 5 miles from the club and yet it has such a small town feel. Family owned restaurants and shops and no big box stores in sight. Truthfully, I probably love it because it reminds me of the best parts of Charming.
Watching people walking the sidewalks going about their day is oddly comforting. I begin watching a family in the park, a mother and father who appear to be in their early 30s with a little blonde boy about four and a baby in a stroller. The father pushes the boy on a swing and the mother takes the baby dressed in pink from the stroller to watch. They are all smiling, their love is so obvious. They are the type of family I always wanted growing up, the type of family I used to dream of having with Jax. I sometimes, in moments of weakness, allow myself to wonder if maybe we could have been that family. If Abel had lived, if Jax had been able to forgive me, if I had forgiven myself, could we have one day been like the family in the park? The sound of my past pulls me from these thoughts just before the group of bikers on Harley's rides through the town. That sound once gave me butterflies of excitement, but now it brings me back to reality. Now is not the time for "what might have been." I finish the coffee and throw the empty cup and muffin wrapper in the trash as I walk out of the shop. Time to go home and get ready for whatever tonight holds.
Genesis insists we drive together to the club, so at 4:30 we are in her car on our way to work.
"You ready for this?" Genesis asks, concern in her voice.
"Sure, no problem. You know me, I'm superwoman I can handle anything" I say with a sarcastic grin.
"Well okay superwoman, I have just one question for you" she says and pauses.
Not sure what to expect, I slowly say "Okay…"
"What the hell do I call you?" She says with a laugh.
"Seriously? That's your only question?" I laugh. "I think you can stick with Grace, I like who I am better when I'm Grace. I feel stronger." I say as I look out the window. I just hope Grace can handle the demons of Tara's past.
Gen pulls the car into the lot and drives around to the employee entrance. The fields in front of the club are full of bikers and old lady's wandering around drinking, eating and smoking. I see Opie's head above most of the others as we pull in and wonder what my being here is going to mean for him. I hope I can find a minute before my set to pull him aside, but honestly he probably already knows. As we walk through the parking lot, Gen loops her arm through mine.
"You got this, baby girl. You're gonna' face down those ghosts and you're gonna' kick their asses" she says with a wink.
"Thanks for the vote of confidence in my ass kicking skills sister" I say and wink back.
As we walk in Genesis heads straight back to the dressing room, she needs to make a few adjustments to her costume for tonight. I walk over to the bar and sit down.
"Well Miss Grace you look like a woman with a lot on her mind" Jerzy says with a smile and hands me a water. "I'm thinking you may need to avoid the liquid courage tonight."
"You are right, as usual" I say and accept the water with a nod.
"You want to talk about it?" Jerzy asks.
"You know, I'm not even sure what to say. I did something pretty stupid last night and tonight I need to face that. I thought at the time I was doing it for the right reasons, but you know how sometimes things look different in the light of day?" I ask and look at her. "I'm thinking now maybe I let my emotions get the best of me and now people are going to get hurt."
"Okay Honey, you're gonna' have to give me more than that if you want some of my wonderful advice" she says with a laugh as she comes around the bar and sits on the stool next to me.
I spend the next few minutes filling her in on what happened the night before. I hate feeling so gossipy. First I'm telling Genesis and now Jerzy all of Jameson's business, but Wendy is a crazy bitch especially when she's using and I think I am going to need some backup on this one. When I'm done speaking I look over at Jerzy. She isn't looking at me, just looking at the bar. She takes a deep breath and turns to me slowly.
"Well, this is one fine mess you are in isn't sweetheart" she says with a smile. "But I can say honestly, I've seen lesser woman survive worse." She pats my hand and stands to go behind the bar. What the hell? That's her advice?
"Um, Jerzy, is that it? No advice?" I ask with more than a little frustration in my voice.
"Oh honey, you don't need my advice. You know what you need to do, you just want me to say it. I love you Grace and because I love you I'm not going to make this easier for you. You need to do this one on your own, face down that crazy junkie and come out stronger." She says with a laugh.
"Thanks for the tough love" I say with a smile. "I love you too."
As I stand and turn to walk away Jerzy stops me.
"Can I ask you one favor Grace? To give me peace of mind" Jerzy asks.
"Of course" I say.
Let me talk to Jury tonight before you do anything, fill him in. He needs a heads up and you might need an ally if things go sideways with SAMCRO" she says seriously.
"You're probably right. As much as I need to face Wendy on my own, there is no way I am taking on Clay or SAMCRO" I say with a laugh. She laughs and I start to walk away, when I turn back "Actually Jerzy, can I ask you one favor?"
"Of course sweetheart" she says.
"Can you ask Jury to bring Opie back to my dressing room before the show tonight?" Jerzy raises on eyebrow. "I just don't want to blindside him with this. He was a good friend to me for a long time. I need to talk to him, try to explain, before he sees me on that stage." As I say this I look at my feet.
"You keep those eyes up young lady. You have no reason to feel ashamed of anything. You made it through a shit storm and are still on your feet. No shame in that at all" she stays sternly but with a smile. I nod and give her a small smile back. "I will talk to Jury as soon as he gets here. Oh and Grace? After tonight, we will figure out how to help Jameson. He's beaten this before and can do it again with help. Let's just take this one crisis at a time." I nod at her and turn to go to my dressing room.
As I walk past Jameson's office I see the door partially open and the light on so I take a chance and knock.
"Yeah" Jameson says with a growl.
I push the door open and walk in. Jameson is sitting on the couch, drink in hand and he looks like he's already had a few.
"Hey Jameson. Just checking in" I say as I sit down in the chair next to the couch. He looks at me and smiles.
"Hey Gracie girl" he slurs. "I thought you might be someone else, but you I am very happy to see. Come sit next to me" he says as he pats the couch next to him.
"I'm okay over here, you know I love this chair" I say with a smile. There is no way I am sitting next to him as drunk as he is, especially with what I'm about to say to him.
He gives me an exaggerated pout. "Okay. I just wanted the pretty girl to sit next to me."
"Oh wow Jameson, lay it on a little thicker, why don't ya? You are really drunk aren't you?" I say with a small laugh to cover my frown. What is happening to my friend?
"Nothing like a little liquid fire to ease the pain, right?" He says as he swallows the rest of the whiskey in his glass and refills it. When he looks up at me his eyes look empty.
I decide maybe sitting next to him isn't such a bad idea. I move to the couch.
"I do know, Jameson, I really do. But that liquid fire doesn't get rid of the pain, it just hides it, and when the pain comes back it comes back fighting." I say as I place my hand on his.
Suddenly Jameson pulls me into a hug. "I am so sorry, so very, very sorry" he sobs softly into my ear. We stay like that for a few minutes until he abruptly pulls away and downs his drink.
"Jameson, what are you sorry for?" I ask.
"Sorry? What are you talking about?" he says as he looks at me confused as if he has no idea what he just said. He really is drunk.
"Never mind. Listen, Jameson I actually came in here for a reason. There's something I need to talk to you about" I say.
He looks at me seriously now. "Okay" he says.
"You've been really good to me since my first day at the club. Never asked a lot of questions about my past, respected my privacy. I am so grateful for that." I look up at him and he gives me a smile and nod. I look down at my lap and continue.
"The truth is there are parts of my past that I am not proud of. I made some terrible mistakes and I've had to live with them. The trouble is, it seems my past has found a way to find me." I pause and look at him again.
"What do you mean?" he asks.
I spend the next few minutes filling him in on my past connection to SAMCRO and how Jury realized who I was.
"So that's why he was so dead set on you performing for them" Jameson says as if it all makes sense now.
"Actually, at that point he didn't know. Jerzy figured it out first, Jury took a little longer" I say with a laugh.
"Figures" James laughs back. "So why are you telling me this now? The club members were here last night and everything was fine, what's different about tonight?"
"In the interest of full disclosure, I was little more than a typical hang around club girlfriend. I was the old lady of the heir apparent to the original charter, SAMCRO." When I say this I think I see Jameson flinch, but it passes quickly. "When I left California it was under terrible circumstances. Jax, my boyfriend, blamed me for his son's death. So did his son's mother. I left quickly and after I left things sort of fell apart for Jax. Now SAMCRO is here."
"Is Jax here?" Jameson asks.
"No, he isn't." I don't offer anything else. Not sure why, but I feel some need to keep the reason for Jax's absence to myself.
"I guess I'm still confused then Grace, why did you tell me all of this?" Jameson asks.
"Last night when I was leaving the club I realized that Jax's ex, his son's mother, was here. She's the old lady of another club member now. When I saw her I kind of lost my head for a minute. I let her see my face and there is no way she didn't recognize me. The two of us never got along, in fact we hated each other. I can only imagine what she has been saying to the club members today." I say.
"Damn. Did you say anything to her?" He asks as he refills his drink and takes a big swallow. I notice his hands are shaking.
"No I was in my car and after we made eye contact, I just drove home" I say. "The thing is Jameson, I think I am actually ready to face her. It's been 4 years and I am not the same person I was then, I am stronger now, more sure of who I am. Wendy doesn't scare me anymore."
As I finish speaking Jameson starts choking on his drink.
"Jameson, are you okay?" I ask. "Put your arms above your head, it will help." He does as I say and the coughing subsides.
"Yes, I'm fine. Must have gone down the wrong pipe" he says quickly. I'm sure it did. I said Wendy's name on purpose, I wanted to figure out if he would make the connection. Obviously he did, but how much does he know and how well does he know Wendy?
"Okay, well I need to go get ready. I just wanted to keep you in the loop. I will let you know if anything happens" I say as I stand to leave.
"Make sure you do. I'm going to fill Declan in as well, since bikers can be unpredictable I want to make sure you are safe" he says.
"Okay. Thanks Jameson" I say as I walk out of the room. I pause outside the door to catch my breath and hear Jameson on the phone.
"Hey it's me" he says. "We have a problem. Tara just came into my office talking about her run in with you last night. She is expecting a confrontation tonight, and I don't think she plans to let this one go. You know that can't happen." Wendy must be talking to him now because he remains silent. How did Jameson know my name? Just what is his relationship with Wendy?
"Look I don't care what you want to do, you just make sure you don't see Tara at all tonight. We cannot afford for her to start asking questions. If she finds out, well I don't think either of us want that" he says. He pauses to let Wendy talk.
"Glad we agree" he says with a harsh laugh. "Just keep your shit together tonight. I think it's best if we keep our distance for tonight as well. Oh for god's sake don't start crying. Just keep your distance from me and from Tara tonight. You can spend some quality time with your husband" he says sarcastically and I hear him slam his phone down on the desk.
There is definitely more going on here than I thought. What are Jameson and Wendy hiding and what does it have to do with me?
I hear him start walking to the door and I run quickly to my dressing room.
As I walk into the dressing room Genesis is putting on her makeup.
"Hey sweetie. Bout time you got your butt in here and started getting ready" she says with a laugh.
"Gen you would not believe what just happened with Jameson" I say and she turns away from the mirror to look at me.
"You talked to him? Seriously? I thought you were going to hold off" she says.
"I was, but when I walked by his office the door was part way open so I knocked. At first I wasn't going to say anything about Wendy or me, I just wanted to check on him" I say as I start getting my makeup ready. Gen has turned back to her mirror, so I keep talking.
"Anyway, once I got in there I realized he was pretty drunk. We started talking and it was really weird. He was pretty out of it, didn't even seem to really realize what he was talking about." I say as I sit and start putting on my makeup.
"What do you mean?" Genesis asks.
"He was just sort of babbling about drinking away pain and then he hugged me and starting crying and apologizing but when I asked him what for he acted like he never said it. It was weird."
Gen shrugs "Drunken ramblings I guess."
"Yeah maybe or maybe not." Gen turns to look at me with a raised brow. I shrug. "I ended up telling him just about everything. My history with SAMCRO, Jax, Wendy and me and about Abel. Then I told him about last night with Wendy. When I said her name he actually choked on his drink."
Genesis laughs. "Really? So he knows her name at least" she says sarcastically. "But if he knows who she is, does that mean he knows who you are or your past with her?"
"See that's where this gets interesting" I say.
Genesis interrupts "It isn't already?"
"Touché. I guess I should say more interesting" I say with a laugh. "When I left his office I paused outside the door for a minute just to catch my breath after the conversation and I heard Jameson on his phone. He was calling Wendy and told her she needed to keep her distance from me because they didn't want me asking questions which is weird in itself, but what's even weirder is he called me Tara." As I say this Genesis drops her makeup brush and whips around on her stool.
"What?!" she practically shouts.
"My thought exactly. I certainly never told him my actual name. He pays me cash so he never needed it for payroll and it isn't something I shared with anyone here but you voluntarily."
"So if Jameson knows your real name, does he know who you actually are?" Genesis asks quietly.
"I'm not sure. Honestly I'm not sure I want to think about it too much, because if he does know then he's always known. What I can't figure out is if he knew, why didn't he say something? Especially when Jury started paying so much attention to me. " I say.
"Maybe he didn't want you to know he knew" Genesis says. My turn to look confused. "I mean, you said he told Wendy to stay away from you so you don't ask questions right? Maybe the reason he didn't call you out on your past is because he has a reason for not wanting you to know that he knows who you are."
It does seem like Jameson and Wendy have some sort of past connection, but what I can't figure out is what that has to do with me.
"I don't know Gen, maybe you're right. I just hate how complicated things have gotten. I liked my simple life here. Things were easy and I finally felt comfortable again, now everything has gone to shit again. Every time SAMCRO gets anywhere near my life it falls apart. I am so fucking sick of it. And to think that Jameson might have known this whole time, I seriously want to punch something" I say.
Genesis walks over to me bends over and shows me her ass. "Okay go ahead hit me, it's pretty padded so I won't feel it."
I break into a fit of laughter "Stand up you crazy woman, I am not punching you in the ass." We both are laughing now and she sits on the vanity bench next to me. "I appreciate the sentiment girl, but it isn't you I want to hit."
"I know honey, just trying to lighten the mood" Genesis says. "I think you just need to get through tonight and then we can figure out what comes next after that. Okay?"
I nod and then hug her tightly. She stands and goes back to her. We spend the next hour getting ready. Just as we are putting on the finishing touches there is a knock at the door.
"Come in" Genesis calls.
"Hey pretty girls" Declan says as he walks in. "Just a heads up Jameson changed the sets around a bit. He and Jury met this morning and they decided tonight is going to be more dancing, a bit more raunchy. Most of the performances are going to be the girls who just dance, you ladies are only performing one time each. Genesis he wants you to do a normal set to start the second half of the show, Grace he wants you acoustic tonight on the last set, says to use your usual acoustic songs. Try to wind things down a little at the end. Jury says make sure it's sexy" Declan says with a laugh. "You good with that?"
"Sure Declan" Genesis says.
"Yeah, no problem" I say.
"Okay, see you out there girls" Declan says as he heads to the door. "Oh Grace? Jury asked me to tell you he's gonna be back here in about 10 minutes. Wouldn't say anymore, just said you'd know what he wanted."
"I do Declan, thanks" I say. Declan nods and leaves closing the door behind him.
"What was that about?" Genesis asks.
"I talked to Jerzy when I got here today. I asked her to have Jury bring Opie, Jax's best friend, back here before the show tonight. I'm going out with no mask tonight, no hiding, just me and I didn't want to blind side him. It felt wrong" I say.
"Probably a good idea. Takes a little pressure off." She says.
"Sure, then all I have to face is the crazy junkie ex and the psychotic mother. Piece of cake" I say with a laugh.
"You could do that blindfolded" Genesis says with a wave of her hand. "Seriously though, you got this sugar. All kidding aside you are one of the strongest woman I've ever known. You are ready to face these demons and move forward, put the past behind you for real." As she finishes there is a knock on the door. "Guess that's my cue. See you out there. I love you" she says as she gives me a quick hug and walks to the door.
"Hey Jury" Genesis says as she walks out into the hallway. I can see Opie's profile in the doorway, but he can't see me yet. "Hi, I'm Genesis" she says and extends her hand to Opie.
"Opie" he says as he shakes her hand. When their hands touch and Gen looks up at him I see a flash of something I don't recognize in her eyes, but it's gone too quickly to figure it out.
"Nice to meet you" she says as she quickly pulls her hand back. "Hope you boys enjoy the show tonight." With that she turns and heads out to the bar.
"Okay Jury, so you got me back here what's so important?" Opie asks.
"Just go in the dressing room Opie, we can talk about it in there" Jury says.
I am looking down but I can see Opie's feet as he and Jury enter the room. One of them, probably Jury, closes the door.
"I don't get it, the singer from last night?" Opie says clearly confused.
I take a deep breath "I asked him to bring you back here Opie. I needed to talk to you alone" I say as I look up at him.
For a minute we just look at each other unblinking. Neither of us saying a word. Before I realize what's happening Opie is across the room and has me wrapped so tight I can barely breathe.
"Jesus Christ Tara, I can't believe it's you" he says softly into my hair. "I didn't think I'd ever see you again."
I feel tears forming in my eyes and as hard as I fight it, I can't keep them from falling. I hear Jury quietly leave the room.
Opie finally lets me go and holds me at arm's length just staring. There are unshed tears shining in his eyes. I can't hold his gaze without feeling this overwhelming sense of guilt so I look down. He lets me go.
"I can't believe I am actually looking at your face again. When you left, I thought that was it. But here you are." He says and looks at me with an unreadable expression. Then he laughs. That's unexpected. "Okay, I gotta ask. What are you doing here? I mean, I'm happy to see you but what the hell are you doing here?"
I walk over and sit on the couch, he follows and sits next to me.
"I guess I just sort of ended up here. Not really sure how to be honest. Guess I got sick of moving around so I landed here and it stuck" I say.
"What do you mean moving around?" Opie asks.
"After I left Charming I spent a few months moving from place to place, I just didn't feel settled anywhere. After about 6 months of cheap motel rooms and way too many sleepless nights I stumbled in here" I pause and look at Opie. He looks really confused.
"I don't understand" he mumbles. "You didn't leave Charming for a job?"
"What? No. Definitely not" I say. Now I must look confused.
"Tara, I am really confused here. If you didn't leave for a job, why did you leave?" He asks as he looks at me. The shadows I see in his eyes are the same shadows I saw there before I left Charming. My sweet tortured friend. I am so sorry I left you behind too.
"Opie, I really don't want to talk about it. Let's just say I needed to leave. Can we leave it at that for now?" I ask with more of a pleading tone in my voice than I intended.
He nods "We can leave it at that…for now."
"Thank you" I say as I lean over and hug him. "I t really is great to see you. I've spent so much time trying to forget Charming these past few years, I didn't realize how much I missed some of the people I left behind." He hugs me a little tighter. When we finally let go, I smile. "So tell me about the kids. And Mary. And Piney. And you. Who was that gorgeous girl you were with last night?" I ask excitedly.
"Slow down Tara" Opie says with a laugh. "The girl is Lyla. She works at Cara Cara with Luann. We've been together for a little while now. She's great with the kids and Piney loves her of course" he chuckles.
"Of course" I laugh back.
"Piney is doing pretty good, stepped back from the club a little after all the stuff with Donna and then Jax, he spends most of his time at the cabin now. Mary is great, helps out with the kids a lot. The kids are doing okay. Both in high school. Ellie is beautiful, looks just like Donna did at 14. Kenny, he is way too much like me. A pain in all his teachers asses, but yet they all still love him."
I laugh "Oh he is just like you were then."
Opie smiles "They still miss Donna of course, and then with Jax going away and Piney being pretty absent. Well, they are a little short on family these days so they love spending time with Lyla and her daughter Piper. She's 13. Goes to school with Kenny and next year they'll all be in high school together" he says.
"You guys must be pretty serious if she's met the kids" I say.
"I guess. Not sure where it's going, I'm just not sure I'll ever be ready for another love like I had with Donna, but it's nice for the kids to have a little stability" he says on a sigh.
"Oh Opie, I'm so sorry I couldn't be there for you after Donna. It was just such a fucked up time. With Abel and then Donna and everything just spinning out of control, nothing made sense. I know running was selfish. I think one of my biggest regrets when I left was leaving you. I knew how lost you were, but I ran anyway. You were always my friend and I really am sorry Opie" I say with tears streaming down my cheeks. He wipes them away.
"Look Tara, I get it. We were all pretty fucked up back then, well maybe not just back then" he laughs, "I know that if you left there was a really good reason. We were, are, friends and as your friend I can honestly say that I have wanted to run plenty of times. Getting out of Charming wasn't selfish, it was brave. When you came back, I thought you were crazy. Anyone who stays in Charming, who loves one of us, gets destroyed. The town is toxic. If I thought I could actually get away, I'd leave as fast as I could"
I think I must be missing some pieces here. Just as I'm about to ask him what he means, there's a knock on my dressing room door.
"Grace, 10 minutes" one of the security guys says.
"Thanks" I call back. "I didn't realize how long we'd been back here. I'm betting Lyla is wondering where you got off to."
"Jury told the guys he needed me to run an errand for him so no one will think twice. I gotta say this is definitely not what I expected when he came and got me from the table. Pleasant surprise" he says with a smile. "So what happens now?"
"Now I go out there and sing an acoustic set. Just me, no dancing, no flashy costumes and no mask" I say nervously. "I gotta be honest I am definitely more than a little nervous. I mean, not about the singing, that's easy. I'm just a little nervous about being me out there. I've been Grace for 4 years in this place and tonight Tara makes her debut."
"Oh come on, be honest. Aren't you just a little bit excited to see Gemma's face when she realizes you haven't disappeared after all?" He says with a devious smile.
"What a minute, Opie you really didn't know I was here before you came back here, did you?" I ask.
"No, not a clue" he says.
"That's weird because I saw Wendy last night and she definitely recognized me. I can't believe she didn't run back and tell everyone" I say with confusion.
"That crazy junkie bitch, no one would have believed her even if she did. But she hasn't been around. Juice was looking for her this morning, she never came back to the site last night. Oh you know Juice married Wendy right?" He says as he laughs uncontrollably.
"Oh yeah, Jury told me that one" I say with a laugh. "She still getting high all the time?" I ask even though I already know the answer.
"Pretty much a daily occurrence. He keeps her satisfied with money for her habit and she keeps him satisfied with what she does best" he smirks. "No love going on there, just mutual satisfaction."
"Knowing that no one knows is actually going to make this a little easier. I like having the element of surprise on my side." I say as I stand and check my makeup. Opie stands and walks to the door.
"Opie, can I ask you one more question?" He nods so I continue. "What made you think I left Charming for a job?"
"After you left Jax told everyone you left for a job at Children's Hospital in Chicago. Said you got a fellowship there 'cause someone else quit and you had to leave fast. He said you asked him to go, but he didn't want to leave after all the shit with Abel and Donna."
"That doesn't make any sense. He knew exactly why I left. I told him why in a letter I left at TM, but even if I hadn't, he knew" I say.
"I don't know Tara. Either he never got the note or he just wanted to keep it to himself. You really not going to tell me why you left?" He asks with his hand on the door knob.
"Opie I gotta get ready to sing and you need to get ready to act surprised" I say with a laugh, making it clear I have no intention of telling him what really happened. If Jax didn't tell him 4 years ago, I don't plan to now. "I will come see you after my set okay? I'm betting a few people may have questions for me." I laugh again.
"Somehow I think you might be right on that one. See you in a bit Tara" he says with a smile and leaves.
I touch up my lipstick and adjust my dress, a halter style black silk sheath with a v neck that dives deep almost to my belly button. It falls to just above my ankles and has a thigh high slit. I like the nights I do acoustic, I get to wear a little bit classier clothes. After that I head to the stage.
I check in with the DJ to go over a quick change and then fill in the stage manager before I walk to the stage. Here we go. As the curtain rises the DJ begins to speak.
"For our last act, we have a real treat. An acoustic set from the best voice in the house requested by none other than the man himself, Jury White. According to Jury, when you hear this beautiful angel's voice you can't decide whether to fuck her, marry her or put her on a pedestal." That gets a laugh, thanks Jury. "Ladies and gentleman, here she is Tara Grace." The curtain goes up and the song starts.
Never know how much I love you
Never know how much I care
When you put your arms around me
I get a fever that's so hard to bear
You give me fever when you kiss me
Fever when you hold me tight
Fever! In the morning
Fever all through the night
I might not be dancing but a little sexy hip sway and dip, and the crowd gets into the song. I can't hear much other than whistles and cat calls, but since the lights are dim I can see most of the crowd tonight. Opie smiles and winks and I decide to have a little fun. I walk down the stairs and walk between tables while I keep singing.
Romeo loved Juliet
Juliet, she felt the same
When he put his arms around her
He said, "Julie, baby, you're my flame
"Thou giveth fever when we kisseth
Fever with thy flaming youth
Fever! I'm afire
Fever, yea, I burn, forsooth"
As I walk I can feel eyes on me, which I expect, but not all of them are just admiring my sexy ass in this dress. Time to bite the bullet. I walk a little closer to SAMCRO's table and see recognition dawn in Clay's eyes first. He doesn't smile. When Bobby sees me, he can't contain his grin and Tig winks and growls. Typical I laugh to myself and wink back at him.
Now you've listened to my story
Here's the point that I have made
Chicak were born to give you fever
Be it Fahrenheit or Centigrade
Tig grabs my hand and pulls me to him as I sing, my back against his front. "Good to see you baby girl. We've missed you" he whispers in my ear. His words throw me and I wiggle my ass a little just to keep up appearances. The guys in the bar go nuts, so I do it again and Tig grabs my hips. Ok Tiggy, hands to yourself. I turn around and playfully push him off as I finish the song. He falls into his chair with his hands over his heart dramatically. Tig blows me a kiss as I walk to Jury's table. His guys are just as animated as Tig was and we have a little fun dancing as I wrap up the song.
They give you fever
When you kiss them
Fever if you live and learn
Fever! Till you sizzle
What a lovely way to butn
What a lovely way to burn
What a lovely way to burn
What a lovely way to burn
I purr the last line, kiss Jury on the cheek and start to walk back to the stage. I have to walk by Gemma to get there. She was on the bathroom when I started my set, but even when she returned to the table she paid no attention to me while I was singing. Then again, she never really paid attention to any of the girls who hung around the guys, even the ones her husband liked a little too much. Never understood why she pretended not to see it.
As I walk by, I stop in front of her chair. She slowly looks up her from the conversation she is having with Lyla. As we lock eyes, her jaw drops.
"Hi Gemma. Nice to see you" I say with a wink and a smile as I turn and walk back to the stage.
She says nothing. For once, Gemma Teller-Morrow is speechless. Score one point for me.
"Jesus fucking Christ, what the fuck is Tara doing here?!" I hear Gemma shout as I start singing my next song.
Okay so she wasn't speechless for long.