Bursting Bubbles

He rubbed his palm down his face as he drove to the house and felt the scruff he forgot to shave, which was something he meant to do because Emma sometimes complained that it was too scratchy, but he had completely forgot. He had time to do it, but he was so preoccupied with getting over there to see them that it just slipped his mind until now.

Nick looked at the time displaying on the radio clock. He knew he was early. He couldn't help it; the eagerness of spending time with his daughter, and seeing his wife, was overwhelming. Before he turned down his block he realized he could see them playing on the front lawn. Instead of driving directly there, he stopped and watched. His house was only three houses in so he could see them clearly from his truck parked at the Stop sign.

He could see the bubbles floating through the air and his little girl jumping and chasing them. She popped the bubbles as fast as she could and clapped excitedly when they burst. He couldn't hear her laughing but he could see it. She was laughing hysterically because her mother just came up behind her, grabbed her off of her feet and spun her before they both fell over into the grass. They were both laughing. Nick gave a quiet laugh too. He loved seeing them playing and laughing, although part of him wondered if Jules laughter meant she was no longer feeling sadness. If she was through feeling sadness, then did that mean she detached herself completely from him? That worried him.

Nick took off his baseball cap, ran his fingers through his hair, and put it back on. He watched Jules get up from the ground, walk to the front stoop and sit down preparing to blow more bubbles while Emma anxiously waited for them to float her way. Nick took a deep breath and turned down onto his block driving to the house.

Pulling into his driveway slowly, he saw Jules' face. He witnessed her huge smile literally melt off her face as soon as she saw him. Her happiness had washed away instantly and it left nothing but sadness and disappointment underneath. He knew then, she wasn't detached at all…underneath that smile was an enormous amount of pain, and what killed him the most was it was sadness he caused.

She was still hurting inside. He didn't know whether that was a good thing or bad. He did not want her to hurt, but selfishly he was relieved to see she hadn't completely detached from her feelings, closing him off completely. Their eyes locked and neither of them could look away from their stare until they both heard the delightful scream coming from their little girl.

"My Daddy home!" Emma exclaimed excitedly.

Jules got up from the red brick stairs, reached inside the front door, and grabbed something. Closing the door behind her, she walked down and over to the car. Nick couldn't take his eyes off of her. She was only wearing faded, weathered, blue jeans, but damn she wore them well. Even in just a pair of jeans and a baby doll tee shirt his wife was beautiful. It made him hold his breath a second before breathing out and opening his truck door.

"There's my Munchkin!" Nick said watching his daughter run to him.

His heart nearly burst at how much his daughter adored him. His little girl was genuinely thrilled to see him. He picked her up and squeezed her as tight as he could before she complained that it hurt.

Jules walked up beside them.

"Hi, Nick," Jules said flatly and handed him a pink and black duffel bag. "Take this with you."

Nick instinctively leaned in to kiss her hello, but she took a step back and stared at him coldly.

She wanted to kiss him. Everything inside her needed to feel his lips on hers. But, just as badly as she wanted his kiss was as badly as it made her sick. She couldn't get the image of Brooke's lips on his and that made it impossible for her to feel his touch.

Nick felt his stomach sink from her chilly greeting. He knew it was well deserved but he couldn't help but feel the sting.

"There is a change of clothing in there…in case she has an accident or whatever…just in case you need them" she paused, "You can keep them in your trunk as a spare if you want… for next time."

His stomach sank again. 'for next time' - he hated those words. He hated them because it meant he would be scheduling another visit with his daughter instead of just being with her as he normally would. He never needed to keep a spare set of his daughter's clothes in his trunk because he would always just grab something from the house to take with him or just be able to run home for her to change.

Nick nodded and took the bag from her; he hung his head as he did.

"You takin' me somewhere, Daddy?" Emma's eyes grew wide. "Why you not comin' in my house? Why, Dad? Why?" she repeated herself.

"Daddy wants to take you out, Honey," Jules interjected.

"You come too?" she asked her mother with her head tilting slightly.

"No, Baby, not today," Jules said reaching out and stroking her daughters face as she hung from her father's hip.

"Why you no come, Mom?" she asked squinting and looking just like her father.

"Not today," Jules answered and swallowed hard.

"Why, Mommy? Why?" Emma persisted.

"I have some things I need to do, Baby," she answered again with her heart shattering each time.

"Why Mom? Why you no comin'?" she asked the typical curious question of a toddler. But it was just too much sadness to handle and Jules could hardly take it.

"Well, because you and Daddy are going to go together…just the two of you…you'll do something fun!" she gave a fake smile.

"Why?" she asked again. "Why you no comin'?" she continued.

"Because I am just NOT coming, Emma, okay!" she snapped at her.

Her nasty tone surprised Nick and Emma. Jules always had an enormous amount of patience with their daughter. Nick always said she had the patience of a saint. It was usually him with less patience, especially if he had a difficult case or a long graveyard shift.

"NICK! DAMN IT! Ya think you could help me out here!" she said loudly and her voice cracked.

Nick was startled into the realization that he had not said two words since he said "hello" to Emma. He wasn't helping Jules at all. He wasn't helping to soothe Emma's confusion or answer her questions. He didn't mean to be so cowardly; he was just so frozen. He couldn't speak.

"I…I…" was all Nick could stutter.

He began to wonder silently, How was it that he could collect body parts and severed heads and not flinch?

How could he watch a bullet be pulled from a corpse's brain and discuss how it entered the skull, but the sight of the pain he caused in his wife's eyes left him speechless?

Nick looked at his daughter and both he and Jules saw the lip at the same time. It curled down and quivered and her eyebrows furrowed.

Jules looked up to the sky and groaned.

She didn't mean to get nasty with her. It wasn't her fault her father was a lying, cheating, bastard, she thought to herself. It wasn't her fault that her mother wasn't sure her heart would ever mend itself again.

Jules shook her head at Nick, and then spoke again.

"Emma…I'm sorry," she said still with a slight lack of patience in her tone, "Just go with Daddy and have a good time, okay? Mommy will be here waiting for you."

At that moment, Jules wished her daughter wasn't so sensitive. This whole situation was hard enough. But Emma was just a child and didn't deserve to be caught in the middle. She was an innocent little girl. Jules knew all of that but she couldn't breathe well enough to handle it.

She just needed her daughter to go spend time with her father…the man Jules missed spending time with…the man she missed with every fiber of her being.