Chapter 13
"An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward.
So when life is dragging you back with difficulties,
it means that it's going to launch you into something great."
~ Unknown
"Sit down Gemma" Clays voice booms as I walk back to the stage.
"Clay that is Tara! I will not sit down, I need to talk to her!" Gemma yells back.
"Sit your ass down and shut up" Clay seethes. "You will not make a scene, you will not embarrass me in front of my brothers."
I am back on stage now and facing the audience. I see Gemma still standing and glaring at Clay.
"Tig get her stupid ass out of here" Clay orders. Tig takes Gemma's arm and she yanks it away. He places his hand on her elbow again and gently pushes her toward the door. She reluctantly goes. The minute she is out the door, Clay has one of the dancers on his lap. Such a pig.
I finish my set with a little more attention than I am used to after Gemma's outburst. As I walk back to my dressing room, Declan stops me.
"Well sweetheart, you definitely know how to make a splash" he says with a laugh.
"You know me, I love the limelight" I laugh back.
"So you gonna' tell me what that was all about?" He asks.
"I will, but not tonight. Right now I just want to go in my dressing room, get into my yoga pants and go home" I say.
"That sounds nice. Wish I could go with you but I have to wrangle a bunch of drunk bikers out of here. Lucky me" he says sarcastically.
"If anyone can handle it, you can babe" I say with a smile.
"Flattery will get you everywhere" he says as he kisses me on the forehead before he turns to walk away.
"Hey Declan, can I ask a favor?" I say.
"Anything Grace. What do you need?" He asks.
"Can you make sure no one gets back here? Maybe keep a security guy back here? I am probably being a little crazy, but the woman who made the scene out there, she is way more than a little crazy and I don't want to have to deal with her tonight" I say.
"Sure honey, no problem. I'll double check the lock on the back entrance now and I will stay stationed at the stage door the rest of the night. No one is getting back here without me knowing about it" he says reassuringly.
I nod "Thank you."
I walk into my dressing room and close and lock the door.
"Hey girl, that was some crazy shit out there!" Genesis says as I walk in.
"Yes, yes it was" I say.
"Who was that woman? No way that was Wendy, that woman was way too old for Jameson, right?" Genesis asks.
"Oh no that wasn't Wendy that was the other woman who is in love with Jax" I say as I laugh. "His mother."
"Um, excuse me?" Genesis says.
"Oh there is so much weirdness going on in her obsession with her son, I can't even begin to explain. In all seriousness though, that was Gemma, Jax's mother" I say as I sit down on the couch.
"She seems a little nuts if you ask me. The rest of them seemed pretty happy to see you, well except the old guy who yelled at Gemma" Genesis says with a smirk.
"Yeah that's Clay, Jax's stepfather. They've been together since about a minute after Jax's dad died. It is all very weird if you ask me. I did my best to stay out of all of it, but Gemma doesn't let anyone near Jax without torturing them so she and I were never exactly best friends. I think seeing me tonight after everything that has happened with Jax was probably too much for her. I actually feel a little bad now" I say quietly.
"Oh hell no Grace. You have nothing to feel bad for. She came into your place of work, your life and made a scene. You could have made a scene right back, but you didn't. You did your job and came back here. She was the one out of line" Genesis says definitively.
"Maybe. I mean, I could have given her a head's up like I did Opie, but honestly I didn't think to. Well no that's not true, I didn't want to." I say.
"Right because she's crazy and you should not be alone with her. I mean seriously, she had major crazy eyes going on when the curly haired wild man took her out of here" Gen laughs. "Who is that guy?"
"Oh that's Tig. He's a little different but pretty harmless as long as you don't sleep with him. He and I actually got to be friends when I was in Charming. Truthfully they are all good people deep down, except Clay and Gemma. Well, Wendy isn't a good person either but that's because she is only half a person after all the drugs she's done" I say. "Anyway, you were about to leave when I came in. You gonna' ditch me and leave me with no ride?" I say with a smile.
Gen laughs. "Yup, after that shit I am out of here. Time to find a new roomie and best friend" she says as she hugs me. "I was actually about to leave you a note that the girls and I are heading out for food and I was gonna' leave you my keys so you could meet us after you change."
"Don't think I would be very good company. Honestly I just want to go home. I'm sorry I haven't been much fun lately, I just need to get my head straight. I think comfy clothes, chocolate and my bed will be a good start" I say with a smile.
"Alright but if you change your mind we are going to Donovan's. I know you love their steak sandwich, so I'll bring one home for you if you don't meet us" she says.
"Thanks Gen. I'm just going to change and head home. Have fun. Try not to gossip too much about my crazy ass life" I say with a smile.
"Girl you know that is all we will be talking about!" She says with a laugh. "Totally kidding, I'll shut the gossipy girls up, don't you worry" she says with a smile and walk out the door. "Love you Grace!"
"Love you too Genesis!" I call back as I get up and close the door.
I change into yoga pants, a fitted t-shirt and gym shoes before sitting on the couch to think. What do I do next? I really haven't thought this through. So they all know I'm here, but does this really change anything? Tomorrow they will all go home and I will stay here, continue living the life I have chosen away from all of them. Maybe I don't need to worry at all, could it be that simple? Yeah right, it's Gemma. There is no way she is letting this one go. I'm sure she's just waiting until the dust settles a little so she can have the element of surprise on her side. And then there's Wendy. Where is she tonight? Juice was here but not her. Strange he would leave her alone, unless she never came back. Opie did say they never saw her last night, but where could she be? The only person she knows here is Jameson and he was at the club all night.
Realizing I will be here all night if I keep riding that train of thought, I decide to head home. I open the door and look out into the hall. The club is completely quiet. Declan must have gotten all the guys out of here, but I still see him standing by the stage.
"Hey Declan, I'm heading out. You can leave your post" I say with a laugh.
"Alright Grace, I'm going to go sit at the bar and have a beer with Jerzy. You want one before you go?" He asks.
"Thanks but I'm just gonna' head out the back to Gen's car and go home. I'm exhausted" I say.
"If you're sure. See you tomorrow Grace" he says.
"No you won't" I say with a smile. "Since tomorrow is the end of the rally and everyone's gone by noon, Jameson said I could have the day off."
"Well look at you, a lady of leisure. Enjoy your day off" Declan says sincerely.
"Thank you, I think I will sleep in and sit around in my pajamas all day" I say with a laugh.
"Sounds like just what you need. Night Grace" he says as he turns and walks to the bar.
"Night Declan" I say to his back.
I go back in the dressing room and grab my bag. Crap, I forgot about the costumes I need to take to the cleaners tomorrow. Gen and I have slacked a bit and each have five costumes so this isn't going to be easy to carry. I sling my purse strap diagonally across my chest so both hands are free and grab the costumes. Then I turn off the light with my elbow and walk out the door. Good thing the exit door is a push bar or I would be stuck, I push it open with my hip then spin to kick it closed. As I start to walk to Gen's car I think I see something move to my right. I look around but there's nothing there. I'm probably just being paranoid, but I walk more quickly anyway. I hear shoes behind me just before there is a blinding pain the back of my skull. Are you fucking kidding me? SAMCRO has been back in my life for all of five minutes and I'm about to be kidnapped or worse. Kind of funny really. My last thought before I lose consciousness is sad laughter.
Genesis POV
I got in pretty late last night and Grace's bedroom door was closed. I figured she would be asleep when I got home and I didn't want to wake her to check in. I was hoping she'd be awake before I had to leave for work this morning so we could talk but now I am out of time and need my car keys. I am going to have to wake her up.
I walk to her room and knock, but there's no reply. I knock again and still nothing. Man she is sleeping like the dead. I try the knob on a whim even though I know she locks it and it turns. I slowly open the door and look to her dresser to see if I see my keys but they aren't there. When I turn to the bed I see that it is made, unslept in. What the hell?
I run back to the kitchen and take out my cell to call her. Straight to voicemail. I disconnect and try again as I run down the stairs to the parking lot in back of our building. Voicemail and no car in the lot.
"Grace, this is Genesis. I just checked your room and it looks like you didn't come home last night" I say a bit panicked. "I don't know where you are and I am kind of worried. Well no, I am really worried. I'm sure I'm just being my normal, over reacting self but please call me back as soon as you get this."
Okay, don't panic. She probably just went out with Declan or Jerzy. Yes I'm sure that's it.
I scroll through my contacts and press on Declan's name. He answers on the second ring.
"Hey Gen. What's going on, you running late? I've been back in this god forsaken club for an hour already" he says with a laugh.
"Hey Declan. Sorry to bug you but have you seen Grace this morning?" I ask.
"Um, no, haven't seen her since she left here last. She said she had today off so I figured she would still be sleeping" he says.
"No, it actually looks like her bed wasn't even slept in. My car isn't here and hers is gone. I am worried about her" I say with a quiver in my voice.
"Okay, let's not panic. I'll head over and pick you up now and we can figure it out" he says in a soothing voice.
"Thanks Declan. Can you do me a favor while we are still on the phone? Check to see if my car is in the lot at the club" I say.
"I'm walking out now" he says and is quiet as I hear the club door open and the crunching of gravel under his shoes through the phone. "Gen? It's still here" he says and I think I detect a note of fear in his voice too.
Forty five minutes later Declan and I are sitting at the bar with Jerzy and Jury.
"So Declan you saw her last around 1:45 when she left through the back door. Jerzy you were still here then and Declan came out to see you. Is that right?" Jury asks.
"Yeah that's right. I heard Declan and Grace talking and laughing. Grace sounded pretty happy to be having a day off" Jerzy says with a smile.
"Alright so we know she got out the door safe but Genesis' car is still here and Grace's car isn't at home. That doesn't make any sense. How would she have gotten home to get her car if Gen's car is still here?" Declan asks.
"Did anyone look around the car for signs of struggle?" Jerzy asks.
"No" I say. "We just saw the car in the lot and came in here."
We all head out to the parking lot.
Jury looks around carefully. "I don't see any drag marks or signs of a struggle. Nothing looks like it was dropped. Maybe she got a ride back to your apartment from someone and decided to take off for a few days? She has had a lot of shit thrown her way the past 48 hours" Jury says.
"I might believe that if she had a left a note or called, or if she had anyone outside of us standing here that she would ask for a ride" I say with some frustration in my voice.
"Hey Gen, I know you are worried but you gotta' remember Jury doesn't know Grace as well as we do" Jerzy says trying to help me calm down. "Besides, he could be right. I mean sometimes it's easier to deal with our drama if we step away from everyone for a few days."
"I get that Jerzy, I really do, but I just don't think she'd leave without saying something" I say fighting back tears. "I'm worried something happened to her. I mean that crazy bitch in the club last night and Wendy both have reasons to hate her and they are both in town."
"You know what Genesis, you're absolutely right" Jury says. "Why don't we go have a chat with SAMCRO before they take off? See if they know what their old ladies were up to last night."
I nod and whisper "Thanks."
We walk over to where SAMCRO has set up camp and see a few guys with vests that say Prospect on the bottom packing everything up.
The one Grace said is in charge, Clay, walks over. "Hey Jury, good to see you brother" he says as he extends his hand. "You throw one hell of a party."
Jury laughs and shakes Clay's hand "Thanks brother."
"I'm guessing with all you got going on wrapping up today this is not just a social call. Listen I am really sorry for Gemma last night. She was out of line and she knows it. I made sure of that" Clay says with a smile that makes my skin crawl. "She was so embarrassed she actually took off last night."
"She did? What time she leave?" Jury asks.
"Not sure, I guess around 1-1:15 why?" Clay asks.
"Just wondering cause there was a wreck on the highway I heard about but it was at 12:30 so couldn't have been her" Jury says. Wow he came up with that lie quick. "Well I'm glad to hear you guys got things straightened out. Hope my girls didn't cause you too much trouble on the home front."
"Oh no they were no trouble at all. In fact a few of them helped take away my troubles last night" Clay says with a disgusting laugh.
Jury laughs back "Alright Clay, have a safe ride back to Charming. Hey Opie around?"
"Yeah he's over that way" Clay says and gestures with his head to the left. "Thanks again brother" Clay says as he shakes Jury's hand again and we walk away.
"Wow that guy is slimey" I say to Jury.
"Sweetie you have no idea" Jury says and I believe him.
We walk up to the guy I bumped into outside our dressing room last night. He is well over 6 feet and looks like a sexy cross between a mountain man and a biker. I've always loved facial hair on a man.
"Hey Jury" he says as we walk up and they embrace, patting each other on the back in typical man-hug fashion.
"Hey Opie. You remember Genesis?" Jury says.
"Sure, hi" he says with a nod and a smile.
"Opie, Genesis is a little worried about Grace, I mean Tara. They are roommates and she didn't come home last night. With everything that's happened the last couple days, I guess I'm worried a bit too" Jury says.
"Anyone hear from her?" Opie asks.
No" I say. "Which is really weird? We check in with each other all the time. Given our late hours with work, neither of us wants the other to worry when we don't come home together. I knew I shouldn't have left her last night but Declan was here and she insisted she was fine" I say and those tears I've been fighting all day are back.
"Wow, okay you're really worried. Listen if she is anything like she used to be, Tara can take care of herself. She's a fighter. But…" he starts and then pauses.
"What?" I ask.
"Well, the thing is, she does have a tendency to take off when things get to be too much. You think maybe she just took off again?" He asks hesitantly.
"No, I don't" I say with finality in my voice. "Alright maybe that was her in the past, but this time she chose to fight. She chose to let Wendy and Gemma see her face. She chose to let you see her and talk to her. She chose to stay here, this is her home now. She wouldn't just walk away."
"Let's everyone take a breath" Jury says, but he is really just talking to me. "Opie, we talked to Clay and he says Gemma left last night around 1. Anyone seen Wendy around?"
"I haven't. Hang on" he says and turns his head to yell "Juice, where's your old lady?"
The one he called Juice yells back "Haven't seen her since Friday. Figure she went back to Charming."
Opie turns back to us. "That guy is so pathetic. He knows his old lady can't stand him but he has so much trouble with women he keeps her around for the sex. I actually feel bad for him."
"Okay, so let me get this straight" I say. "The woman who is a drug addict, who blames Grace for her son's death and the loss of the man she loves, and who is sleeping with my boss hasn't been seen in 48 hours and I'm not supposed to worry?"
"Wait, what? Sleeping with your boss?" Opie asks.
"Oh you didn't know that part" I say with a laugh. "Apparently Wendy and Jameson know each from back in his drug addict days and they recently rekindled the flame. Grace saw the two of them getting high and going at it in Jameson's office."
"Woah" Opie says. "I did not see that coming. As for the rest of what you said. Wendy knows she and Jax were toxic and she knows it isn't Tara's fault Abel died. No way she's still holding those grudges."
"You sure about that Op?" Jury asks. "Women can be tricky, hold onto hate we never see until the opportunity presents itself to let it show."
"Look Jury, Wendy may be a crazy junkie but I don't see her hurting Tara" Opie says.
"Even if she were high and the guy she was using for a distraction in town told her she needed to stay away from him and Tara?" I ask.
"Well, I guess if she were feeling rejected again she might go a little crazy, but I still don't think she'd hurt Tara" he says.
"Without any evidence of anything there isn't much we can do but wait" Jury says.
"Here, this is my number" Opie says as he hands me a piece of paper. "If you haven't heard from her in 3 days call me. Between Jury's resources and SAMCROs we will find her."
"You didn't before" I say.
"That's because Jax wouldn't let me look" he says sadly. "I gotta' get going. Three days, if she hasn't at least called, you call me." With that he climbs on the bike, straps on his helmet and takes off.
Jury puts his arm around my shoulders and half hugs me. "She's probably fine honey. I'm sure she'll call you tonight."
I know he's trying to comfort me and it might work, if I believed him.
That night I am at home sitting in Grace's room when I notice a picture on her dresser mirror. It's the one she showed me of Abel a few days ago. I take the picture down and look at that beautiful boy. Now I know for certain she didn't leave by choice, there is no way she left this picture behind.
Opie POV
"Hey brother" I say as Jax comes into the visiting room in his orange jumpsuit. We got back to Charming last night and this morning I was on my bike at sunrise headed to Stockton to see him. Usually I visit on Saturdays when there are a lot of visitors, but today we are the only ones in the visiting room. Probably a good thing.
"Nice to see you brother" Jax says as we hug. We sit down across from each other at a small table.
"Tell me about Jury's rally. Everything go good?" He asks. Jumping right into what should be an easy conversation, but this shit is gonna suck.
"Yeah, it was good. Everyone had a good time. Half-sack even got laid" I laugh.
"Way to go Half" Jax laughs back. The he looks at me and tilts his head eyes narrowing. "What aren't you telling me Opie?"
I hate how easily he reads me. "Listen, Jax, don't get all crazy when I tell you this okay? Remember where you are and what'll happen if you lose your shit in here. You got 3 months left so just keep it together."
"Shit, Opie, what the hell are you about to tell me? Is Gemma okay?" He asks.
"Yeah your mom's fine. She and Clay got into it at Jury's club and he sent her home early, but other than that, she's good" I say.
"I bet that went over great with Gemma" Jax says and laughs. "Alright Op, spit it out."
"Well, you know that Jury runs the burlesque club. He's got a lot of girls singing and dancing there. In fact, his ex-old lady is the bartender. It's real nice place, not trashy like the strip clubs around Charming" I say.
"It ain't no Jelly Bean" Jax says with a laugh.
"God no. It's a real nice place. In fact some of the girls mostly just sing, very little dancing. One girl in particular, Jury says hardly dances at all. She sings every night and is real classy, keeps her acts sexy but not slutty, you know?" I say. I really don't want to tell him this. "Jury and his guys love her, kind of protect her like their sister. Jury calls her his angel."
"Damn Op, sounds like you might be a little bit in love with her" Jax laughs.
"Naw man, but she is one hell of a singer" I say.
"Two minutes Teller" the guard calls from the door.
"Looks like times almost up man. So as much as I am loving this story, I think you better get to the point" Jax says.
"Remember what I said Jax, don't lose your shit okay?" I say. He nods. "The girl, the one I was talking about, it was Tara."
Jax slowly looks up at me, eyes blazing with fury. "What did you say?"
"I said it was Tara, brother. She's working at Jury's club in Reno" I say slowly.
"No fucking way" he says through grinding teeth. His fists clench and he is practically vibrating with rage. I can see how hard he is working to keep it together. "Opie, I did not let her go so she can work in some high class strip club."
"I know brother, I know" I say sympathetically. "It is a really classy place though and she seems happy."
"Classy my ass. Only place Tara should be working is a hospital." He pauses and takes a deep breath. "Shit, did Gemma see her? Wendy?" he asks concerned.
"Yeah they both did" I say. "That's what Gemma and Clay fought about."
"Damn, I bet Gemma lost it" Jax laughs. "Opie, you gotta' get Tara out of there. Convince her to go find a job in a hospital, somewhere a lot further away than Reno. I gave her up so she could have a better, safer life. Not a different version of her life with me."
"I know Jax, but I really think she's happy" I say. I debate on telling him that I think she took off so I wouldn't be able to talk to her anyway, but what's the point? I told him I saw her, that she's doing pretty good, that's all he needs to know while he's stuck inside.
"Time's up Teller" the guard calls again.
"Promise me Opie. Promise me you will get her out of there, get her safe and convince her to live the life she deserves. She deserves better than a fucked up MC life and that's all she's gonna' get working in an MC club" he says, pleading.
"I'll do what I can brother, but like I said, she seems to like it there. She's got friends who love her" I say. "She's got a really great roommate. Cute girl named Genesis." Why the hell did I just say that?
Jax raises an eyebrow at me "Cute huh?" he says as he places his arms behind him and the guards handcuff him for the walk back to his cell. "See you next week Op. And please, go back to Reno and get Tara out of there. Please."
The gate slams closed behind him and the visitor's entrance buzzes open for me to leave. Now what the hell am I gonna' do?
An hour later I'm pulling into the T-M lot and see Gemma at the picnic table smoking a cigarette. Every time I see Jax it's the same routine, she waits outside and pretends she forgot where I went, then she asks about Jax but tries to pretend she doesn't really care. It's killing her that he refuses to see her. Gemma has always been more than a little obsessed with her son, but four years without seeing him has changed her. She's harder to read these days and that scares me. Jax thought he knew what he was doing by cutting ties when he went inside. He knew he needed a different life when he got out and he also knew Gemma didn't want that for him. He thought cutting ties would make it easier for him to be different when he got out, but I don't see Gemma letting that happen. She will find a way to get back into her son's life, no cost is too high for her.
"Hey sweetheart, where you been?" Gemma asks casually as I walk by her to get to the garage.
"Went to see Jax. Couldn't go Saturday so I went today" I reply.
"That's right, I forgot. How is my son?" She asks.
"He's the same Gemma. Not much changes from week to week on the inside. I was in there five years and every day was exactly the same" I tell her.
She nods then puts her cigarette out. "You tell him about Tara?" she asks.
"Yeah, I did" I say, not willing to give her anything else. She can't know what Jax said and definitely can't know what really happened four years ago when Tara left.
"He okay? I'm betting that was the last thing he ever expected to hear about Tara" Gemma says and looks down at her feet. "I still can't believe it myself." She actually sounds sad.
"Gemma? You okay?" I ask quizzically.
"Me sweetheart? Oh I'm fine" she with a smile, and the mask is back. "I gotta get inside and handle some paperwork. See you later Opie." She turns and walks inside, but before she does I see the sadness in her voice reflected in her eyes. Does she actually feel bad for Tara?
"Hey Opie" I hear Juice say as I walk into the garage.
"Juice" I say with a nod. "Your old lady ever turn up?"
"Yeah, she just came back early. Got a ride with a friend or something. Been a little under the weather lately so she didn't feel like partying" he says.
I nod and turn to get to work. Under the weather, more like high as a kite. Juice may be a little strange, but he can definitely do better than Wendy. She was a crazy bitch when Jax was with her but now, she's downright psycho.
"Hey Juice, when did she head back?" I ask. I'm still pretty sure Tara bailed on her own, but doesn't hurt to cover all bases.
"Saturday sometime. I never saw her after Friday night. She called Sunday late morning and said she was back in Charming staying at a friends for a few days 'cause she didn't want to be alone" he says.
"Good she got home safe and had somewhere to go. Who's the friend?" I ask. I didn't know Wendy had any friends outside of Juice, Gemma and a couple crow eaters and junkies.
"Not sure Op. Why all the questions?" he asks looking at me with raised brows.
"Sorry man, just making conversation to pass the time. Let's get back to work" I say and turn back to the engine I'm working on.
So far I still don't know where Tara is, both Gemma and Wendy were MIA when Tara disappeared and Tara's car is missing. I really hope she did just take off, because if not, I have no idea how the hell I'm going to find her.
Grace/Tara's POV
I open my eyes slowly, afraid of how much pain I am going to be in. I blink a few times and the room begins to focus. I'm lying on a mattress on the floor, there's a toilet and sink in the corner, there are no windows and a steel door with no doorknob. It feels like I am in a basement, damp and cold. Whoever took me put a blanket over me thank god. Shit my heads killing me. I definitely have a concussion. I rub my hand over the back of my head and don't feel any deformities or cuts so I am guessing no fracture. I'm not sure how long I've been here, could be a few hours or a few days.
I lay still for a few minutes and try to work up the bravery to stand and walk over to the toilet. A few deep breaths and I sit. OW! Definitely a concussion. Once the world stops spinning I stand slowly and shuffle to the toilet to take care of business. I wash my hands and go back to the mattress. As soon as I lay down, I hear someone at the door. A small slot opens at the bottom of the door and whoever is out there reaches in to take the old tray out. Then they push a tray in that has oatmeal, fruit and water on it and close the slot. Must be morning.
As I hear then getting ready to walk away, I decide to risk it and let them know I'm awake.
"Hello? Is someone there?" I ask.
The footsteps that had begun stop suddenly.
"Hello? Are you there?" I ask again.
"Yeah" I hear a voice on the other side of the door. It is really muffled through the steel so I can't tell if they are male or female.
"Can I get some Tylenol? I think I have a concussion and my head is killing me" I say.
"Maybe later" my captor says and starts to walk away.
"Wait, can I ask one more question?" I say quickly. The footsteps stop so I ask my question. "What day is it?"
"It's Monday morning" and they walk away.
Monday? Okay so it was Saturday night when whoever this is took me from the lot at Inside Voices. Someone has to have realized I'm missing by now. I'm sure Genesis has called out the National Guard at this point right? Shit, what if she just thinks I bailed? I mean I have done it in the past when things got crazy and it was pretty crazy seeing SAMCRO, but Gen has to know I wouldn't just leave without saying goodbye right?
I walk over to the breakfast tray and try to eat. My stomach is pretty queasy from the head injury, but I need to keep up my strength if I am going to get out of here.
God I really hope Gen realizes I didn't take off willingly. In the meantime, I am going to try to figure my own way out of here. If being with Jax and losing Abel taught me anything, it was that I am tougher than I thought. Whoever this person is that took me, they've got another thing coming if they think I'm going to make this easy for them.