A/N: Hello again. I hope everyone had a happy holiday! I want to say a big thank you to everyone who has put this story on their alert or favorites list, also a huge thank you to those who take the time to review! You make me smile!

A giant thanks to Edwardrocksmysocks for beta'ing this chapter and getting it back to me so quickly! You're awesome!

S. Meyer owns Twilight.

Chapter 3

Better as a Memory

"How dare he!" I mumbled to myself angrily as I tied my shoes.

I stomped down the stairs and walked straight out the front door, not chancing a look toward the kitchen.

I didn't waste time stretching or warming up as I hit the end of the long drive I was in a full run. The sound of my feet slapping the wet pavement pushed me forward. I had to escape the house. I knew coming here would be a bad idea but what choice did I have? Rose was my oldest friend.

I knew some of my anger at his observation of my sleeping habits might have been unjustified but the fact that he could reference our past with such simplicity and ease pissed me off. When we had lived together during college Edward would sometimes hold me and watch me sleep. He always laughed about how entertaining my unconscious conversations were. He didn't have that right anymore. To tease me about something like that wasn't generally a big deal but the fact that he thought we could fall back into our old banter was a ridiculous notion that sent me into a fit of rage.

"Asshole!" I yelled into the crisp air. I pushed myself harder; relishing in the burning sensation that plagued my lungs. As I lost myself in the road my mind drifted back to the day everything fell apart.

3 years ago

It was a sunny Friday morning in August as I danced around mine and Edward's one bedroom apartment. I was trying to do some last minute cleaning before I had to go and meet Rose.

My cell phone rang and I answered with a smile on my face.

"Hey Esme, how are you?"

"Oh I'm doing great, dear. I wanted to know if we could set up a time for you and Edward to come down soon. Carlisle and I haven't seen the two of you in almost a month."
I rolled my eyes but smiled at Esme's little guilt trip. I really did miss them.

"I know Esme, let me look at my calendar," I laughed as she gave an Alice like sequel.
As I pulled my planner out of my purse, Edward came out of the kitchen wearing a pair of low hanging pajama pants and a sleepy smile.

He shot me a questioning look and glanced at the phone.

'Your mom' I mouthed and he nodded as he moved to fix a cup of coffee. I got distracted as I watched his torso flex and stretch as he reached for a mug. He caught my stare and gave me a wink as he filled his cup.

"Bella…Bella?"

"Sorry, Es," I said as Edward chuckled.

I flipped my planner to the current month and looked at my options. "How about… not this weekend but the next?"
I raised my eyebrows at Edward and he nodded with a smile.

"That should work. What do you have going on this weekend?" She asked curiously.

"Edward is taking me out on a date," I said with a smile.
We had been so busy lately that we hadn't had much time alone. I was actually excited for whatever he was planning.

"Oh my, he's doing that this weekend?" She said sounding overly excited.

"Um, yes…" I replied awkwardly, not sure what to say to that.

"Alright, well be sure you have him call me, you know soon. I have to go dear. Love you," she replied sounding as if she was tearing up.

"Love you too," I got out right before she hung up.

"Your mother's on crack." I told Edward as I finished wiping down the counters.
His hands wrapped around my waist from behind.

"I'm sure it's nothing. Although, if she is on something then we could have her committed," he said as he laughed.

He leaned down and rested his chin on my shoulder.

"Are you going to buy your dress today?" He asked.

I sighed heavily before answering.
"Yes, although I don't see the purpose of it. I could just wear one of my old dresses. It's just a date, and we've been together for nearly two years; it's not like I have to make a good first impression. The money could be better put to use in our savings account."

Edward's hands trailed up and down my arms as he placed soft kisses behind my ear and down my neck.

"Nonsense, my beautiful, stubborn, Bella. Please just go and pick out something new for yourself. Get something you will feel beautiful in and preferably something that can be easily removed," he said against my skin.

Needless to say I ended up running late to meet Rosalie for our pre-shopping lunch.

I arrived at the restaurant only a few minutes late and was prepared to get an ear full from Rose but she hadn't arrived yet. As the host led me to a booth I heard a squawk of a laugh that I hadn't heard in over a year.

I followed the sound and sure enough there sat one of Edward's biggest mistakes. Victoria and Edward had dated for six months while we were in high school which, at the age of seventeen, seemed like forever. None of us liked her but Edward was convinced he was in love so we all put up with the ginger until she became bored of Edward and simply dumped him without an explanation. Edward dated a ton of girls after her but none lasted more than a week until we became an 'us' our senior year.

I swiftly averted my gaze as I saw her look up from her conversation and pulled out my phone quickly to call Rose.

I started talking as soon as she answered her phone.

"Ro, where the hell are you? I'm at the restaurant and guess who is sitting not twenty feet from me. Victoria Jones; you remember her right? God you have to get over here before she speaks to me," I whispered urgently into the phone.

"Bella, I'm sorry I'm not going to make it," Rose sniffed. Rose never cried, ever. I was instantly worried and started grabbing my purse.

"Rose, where are you? What happened?" I asked as I stood up to leave.

"I'm on my way to Forks, to my mom's house," she said trying to hide her sobs.
"Emmett and I broke up."
With that declaration I fell back into the booth with my mouth hanging open.

"What do you mean you broke up?" I asked feeling like everything was crumbling. Those two were great together. This didn't make any sense. I was already trying to picture how parties and holidays were supposed to function without the two of them as a unit. She was my best friend but Emmett was Edward's brother. How would things work?

"I don't know; it was stupid. We got into an argument over something dumb and the next thing I know we're yelling and I'm walking out the door," she sighed into the phone.

"Okay well I'm sure we can fix this. Do you want me to come to Forks this weekend?" I asked.

"No, don't worry about it. Shit Bella, I'm sorry you really don't need to be dealing with my crap this weekend. You've got your deal with Edward tomorrow and…"

"Hey we can go out anytime. If you need me I'll be there," I said seriously.

"No, no really. I'll be fine. I'm sorry to blow you off. I'll call you this weekend," she said trying to sound strong.

"Okay well call me if you need anything," I said reluctantly. I really felt like I should be with her right now.

We hung up and as soon as I closed my phone it was ringing again. It was Jake. Jake and I had grown up spending a lot of time together since our dad's were best friend. We had only dated for a short while in high school before I decided we were better off as friends. Edward had always been convinced Jake still had feelings for me.

"Hey you," I said with a smile. I was grateful for the distraction from Rose and Emmett's break up.

"Hey Bells, what are you up to?" He asked sounding as jovial as always.

"Not much. You?"

"Well I'm in Seattle for the day and wondered if you were free for lunch."

I smiled widely. I hadn't seen Jake in months.
"Actually my schedule just opened up."

Jake arrived at the restaurant about thirty minutes later. It was so good to see him. We caught up for over an hour, laughing and talking about how our lives had been since we last saw one another before I remembered I had to go shopping. I quickly said goodbye to Jake and went on my way, promising to stop and see him when I came to Forks in a couple weeks.

After trying on several dresses, I finally found the perfect one and headed back to the apartment. When I arrived Edward was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands.

I assumed he was just tired and went to sit next to him. He looked up at me and his eyes were full of anguish.
"How was your day?" He asked a bit too harshly.

"Um… fine. I found a dress. Do you want to see it?" I asked trying not to sound timid.

"Anything happen you need to tell me about?" He said coldly; completely ignoring my question.

I looked at him questioningly as he stood up and started pacing.

"No, not really. Oh did you talk to Emmett? I can't believe him and Rose are separated. I'm sure they'll work it out though. They're perfect for one another."
It made sense now why he was upset. I hadn't really considered he would take the news this poorly but I could understand why he would react that way.

"How is Jacob?" He spat.

"What?" I asked caught off guard.

"Were you going to tell me you met with Jacob today or did you not feel it was important?" He said as he dragged his fingers roughly through his hair.

I simply stared at him at a loss for words. Was he really upset about one innocent lunch?

"Were you going to tell me?" he demanded loudly.

"Yes, maybe, probably… I don't know. I wasn't keeping it from you. I just didn't think it was a big deal," I yelled finally finding my voice.
This was ridiculous. Edward had always been over protective, but this was downright controlling.

He scoffed loudly.
"The woman I'm going to m…My girlfriend is having lunch dates with other men, men who have a thing for her, and not telling me about it? You're right Bella, no big deal."

"It wasn't like that and you know it. It wasn't a date," I said angrily.

"How often have you been meeting with him?" His voice broke on the last word and I almost felt sorry for him.

"It was only once. I swear. There is nothing for you to worry about."
I threw my arms around his neck and pulled him tightly to me. I knew I shouldn't be the one trying to comfort him but the look in his eyes was so broken that I had to.

I pressed my lips firmly to his and he went rigid beneath my touch. I tried to ignore it and kept kissing him. After a minute he parted his lips and I kissed him with as much passion as I could muster.

His hands gripped the back of my shirt roughly and pressed me hard against him. My hands moved to his hair and I ran my nails along his scalp. He moaned deeply as he grabbed me by the ass and lifted me up.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and moaned at the pressure of his cock pressing into me. Without breaking our kiss, he carried me into our room and laid us down on our bed.

He hovered above me and my hands frantically worked to unbutton his shirt. After I had it off I placed hungry kisses all over his chest. He pulled my top off in one fluid motion and proceeded to throw my bra across the room. With our fight earlier I was prepared for rough, needy, sex but Edward was slow and gentle.

His hands roamed every inch of my chest with precision and care. His lips worshiped every inch of my exposed skin before he removed my pants. He moved lower and began trailing soft kisses over my thighs before finally reaching my center. His tongue moved over my clit repeatedly causing me to scream out his name.

His fingers plunged inside of me moving slowly gently pushing me to the brink of ecstasy. He sped up his movements with his hands and brought his lips to my breast, kissing it gently while I reached my breaking point. I gripped his toned biceps as I fell over the edge calling his name.

Before I had time to come down from the high Edward plunged into me in one fluid movement. I gasped at the sensation of being filled so completely by him. He kissed me with more passion than I had ever known as he rocked our bodies together. He didn't speak or look in my eyes as he thrusted in and out. His gaze stayed locked on my body as he pushed me closer and closer to my second orgasm.

His eyes remained down until we came together and then he kept them locked on my face watching me intently. After we both regained our breath, Edward rolled of off me and laid down on his back staring at the ceiling.

I wanted to cry but I wasn't sure why. That had been different. It wasn't us, wasn't Edward. Sex with Edward was always vocal and fun. This had been serious and foreign. I tried to shake off the feeling of something being wrong and snuggled up into Edward's side. He hesitated for a moment before pulling me tightly against him.

I pushed away all my worries and drifted off to sleep. Right before I slipped into my dreams I felt Edward's lips press into my forehead and something wet fall onto my face.

I awoke to an empty bed and instantly feared the worst. I scrambled out of bed throwing my robe around me as I walked into the living room. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw Edward sitting at the kitchen table. My relief was short lived when I saw the suitcases sitting near his chair.

"Are you going somewhere?" I laughed nervously trying to stay calm.

"I decided to take the job in New York," Edward replied without looking up from the table.

I felt my stomach drop at his words.
"But..but.. I thought we agreed that now wasn't the right time…I mean I still have school to finish," I stammered.

He looked up at me for just a second.

"Oh, you mean you're going alone?" I choked on the last word as the room started to spin.
I sat down at the table because I no longer had the ability to stand.

I tried to pull myself together as I felt my world falling to pieces around me.
"Okay, well I don't have much longer left until I graduate. We can make the long distance
thing-"

"Bella," Edward cut me off.

"This isn't the life I want," he said without emotion.
"I'm sorry I let it go this far, but I don't want this."

I felt physical pain from his words as I choked back the sob that was fighting valiantly to emerge.

"You don't want me?"

"I'm sorry Isabella."
Edward stood up and I looked at his eyes. They sealed the door for me. His eyes were blocked with a cold detachment; the same detachment that I had seen when he spoke of his biological parents, the same detachment that had been present when Victoria broke him as a teenager. Seeing that look in his eyes verified that no matter what I did or said I had already lost.

"If that's what you want," I mumbled brokenly.

He leaned down and placed a kiss on my forehead before walking out of my life.

oOo

I felt an angry tear fall down my cheek as I forced away the painful memory. I tried to redirect my anger to Edward's actions this morning but I knew the two were linked.

I think, if I was being truthful with myself, what really bothered me was that he acted like this was so easy for him. He seemed completely untroubled by the fact that we were going to be under the same roof. If he ever truly loved me shouldn't this be at least somewhat difficult for him?

Maybe it shouldn't bother him. After all he was the one who walked out on me after almost a year of living together.

I was also embarrassed. There was no telling what he could have heard me say last night. It could have been anything...wait… how in the hell?

How did he know I still I talked in my sleep? He had to have come into my room last night.

With even more anger than I had left the house with, I turned quickly and headed back. My heart was pumping hard enough for me to feel it in my cheeks as I pushed myself harder down the road.

It was only the first full day here and I was already about to rip Edward Cullen a new one. I was tired of putting up with his crap. I didn't say everything I wanted to say the day he left me over his own bullshit hang ups but I was going to speak my mind now. He would not mess with me again.

By the time I reached the house my adrenaline was peaked. I took notice, as I sprinted up the driveway, that the only vehicle still here was Edward's bike. I smirked to myself as I burst through the door.

I didn't have to search long to find Edward. I saw him sitting at the island where he had been earlier, with his back turned toward me. I hustled through the kitchen in a fog of anger. It was as if all the hurt that I had felt over the past three years wanted to spill out of me only it was no longer sadness but pure rage.

I grabbed his shoulder and spun him around on the swivel stool to face me. His eyes looked panicked for a moment as he took in my appearance.

"Bella, are you okay?"

"Be quiet and listen Edward," I ground out.
I held a finger up to silence him while my other hand dug into my hip.

He looked at me strangely but didn't try to speak.

"Look, for the duration of the stay you will not speak to me unless it is necessary. We will act like adults and get through this for the sake of our friends. I will treat you with the respect that you don't deserve and I expect the same in return. Once this week is over I can go back to pretending you don't exist and you can go back to the life that you want," I said harshly throwing his words from our past back at him.

"Bella, I…"

"No, I'm talking. I don't want to catch you checking me out again. You gave up any and all rights to look at me like that when you walked out on us and you will not sneak into my room again," I said while trying to breathe with him in such close proximity.

"Do you understand me?" I said my voice faltering as his chest pressed against mine.

"Edward," I warned when I saw his face twist into a smirk.

Before I had time to process it his hand wrapped around the back of my neck and his lips were pressed roughly against mine. For a second my mind left me and I was eighteen again. Even after three years his lips felt familiar. His tongue brushed across my lips and I quickly opened my mouth granting him entrance. As he deepened our kiss I felt my entire body respond. My hands ran through his bronze hair as his caressed my sides.

He moaned into my mouth and that was all it took to pull me back to the present.

I shoved him off of me roughly causing his back to slam into the island.

"Damn it, Edward!" I yelled, before storming off for the second time today.

He was so infuriating. I really wanted to run back downstairs and slap him but I tried to convince myself that I had a little more class than that. As much as I hated to admit it, I had kissed him back. Shit, this was not good.

As I threw myself down on the bed I wondered when the hell the Cullen's house had gotten so small?

I was throwing myself one heck of a pity party when my cell phone rang.

I groaned as I got up to retrieve it and sighed deeply when I saw it was Jake. Apparently his Edward senses were tingling.

"Hey Jake" I answered, trying to sound happy.

"Hey honey, you never called to let me know you made it. For all I knew your plane could have crashed into a mountain in Utah," he chided.

"Yeah I should be so lucky," I mumbled.

"Is it really that bad?" He questioned sincerely.

"Yeah, I don't know how to explain it. It's awkward and I really want to cause him physical pain right now," I said while flopping down on my back on the guest bed. I was definitely not going to tell him about the kiss or Edward watching me sleep.

I heard him chuckle darkly.
"I could help you with that."

I sighed deeply. I should have known he would go there. They had never gotten along and he especially hated Edward because of how things ended between us.

"That won't be necessary, besides you're in California now, there's not a lot you could do from there anyway." I laughed trying to diffuse the tension he was emitting through the phone.

"I've been meaning to come and visit with my dad, now would be the right time to use a few vacation days."

I bolted upright in bed. There was no way he could come here. Things were already dramatic enough between Edward and me.

"No, really there's no need to do that. I'll be fine. It's no big deal," I rushed.

"Do you still love him?" he asked quietly.

"No, I don't even know who he is anymore," I answered with the best answer I knew to give.
A part of me would always love him and I hated that part, immensely.

"Well, I think it's about time I saw you again, Bells. Let me see what I can get worked out and figure out when I can head your way," he said in a rush before hanging up.

"Damn it!" I cursed loudly. This was not going to be good.

I buried my face into a pillow to muffle my aggravated yell.

"The down pillows work better for screaming into, darlin'."

I was startled by the smooth voice but kept my face buried. I felt the bed sink under his weight and his hand rubbed soothing circles on my back.

"You want me to plant my foot in his ass, sweetheart?" He asked in a soothing tone.

I laughed despite myself.
"I would prefer two feet, Jazz."

He chuckled as he turned my head to face him.

"All you have to do is say the word. That boy needs a swift kick in the ass." He smiled.
I suddenly felt guilty for having all of our friends thrown in the middle of our problems.

"He's your friend, Jasper. You don't have to hate him just because I do."

"I don't hate him Bella and neither do you. Just because I don't hate him doesn't mean that I can't think he doesn't have the good sense God gave horses."

"When did shit get so screwed up? We were all supposed to be together. Me and Edward, you and Alice, and Rosalie and Emmett. Everyone was supposed to grow up together, get married, and raise our children together. Was that unrealistic? Was it naïve?"

"No," he said seriously.

"Then why didn't our story have the happy ending that everyone else got?"

I wasn't sure where all this was coming from. I hadn't really thought that much about mine and Edward's relationship over the past year.

"Who says your story is over?" he questioned quietly.

"Oh it's over Jasper, trust me. Whatever me and Edward had is way past over."

"Well I guess we'll have to agree to disagree, darlin'. Now come on, Alice still isn't back from shopping with Rose and Edward took off on his bike. I need to brush up on my Xbox skills before Emmett gets home."

I laughed as I got up and Jasper and I headed downstairs. It was nice to know that I still had people in my corner who would be there for me no matter what.

A/N: Okay so there we have it. A bit of what happened between or E and B. We still have yet to find out Edward's POV, and as you all know, there are always two sides to every story! I hope everyone has an awesome and safe New Years!

Reviewers get teasers! So hit the button to get a sneak peak into Edward's mind!