Worn Out

The air was getting cooler and the breeze started to pick up slightly. Nick was relieved that Jules had put a sweat jacket inside the pink and black duffel bag that sat on his front seat. Grabbing it as he got out of the truck, he held it under his arm as he pulled Emma out of her car seat. Kneeling down in front of his daughter, he helped her put it on and she gave him a smile that melted Nick's heart.

"You think it'll be lil bit cold on me outside, right Daddy?" she grinned only inches from his face.

"Uh huh, I'm kind of thinking' that it might, Sweet Pea," he gave her a Nick Stokes grin back and pressed her nose after he zipped her jacket up. They held hands as they walked from his truck and over to the playground.

The time he was spending with Emma was priceless for Nick. He absolutely loved being with her, he just wished he could get Jules out from inside of his head. It didn't seem right that she wasn't standing next to him pushing their daughter higher on the swing. With Jules not being a part of their afternoon, it just seemed like there was a huge piece missing.

He felt his cell phone vibrate and without looking at who was calling he answered it with one hand and continued to push Emma on the swing with the other.

"Stokes," he said.

"Nick, it's me," Jules said.

"Hey…" he said softly.

"Um, uh, I just wanted to check on everything. Has Em eaten lunch?" she stuttered as she asked.

"Yeah, we ate about an hour ago and we're at the playground now," he said and waited hoping for a long shot that she would say she would meet them there.

"And I did put her jacket on," Nick smiled knowing she would be asking him that.

"Oh good, okay, do you think you'll bring her back by dinner time?" she asked.

"Um, I guess there's no chance on the three of us going to get dinner, right?" he asked hopeful.

"Nick, please…" she didn't want him to know she thought his comment was a little funny so she kept her tone flat.

"Okay, around 5:00 then," he said sadly.

Jules didn't wait for a goodbye she just hung up sounding cold and distant.

Nicky pulled slowly into his driveway, Jules wasn't outside but he knew she was expecting they would be arriving very soon because he saw she left the front door open. He wished she wouldn't leave doors open like that. He liked things locked tight. In his line of work, he thinks about every possible crime scenario and it can cause paranoia if he let it.

Looking back into the backseat he saw his little girl had fallen sound asleep . She had a busy day with her dad. She was worn out.

Nick hopped out of his truck and opened the back door so he could carefully unbuckle and get her out of her car seat. Once he scooped his baby into his arms he turned around and saw Jules standing on the front steps watching.

"Aw, she fell asleep?" Jules smiled softly. "Well, she usually naps during the day…yeah, you, you already know that," she corrected herself.

Nick nodded.

"I wore her out, I guess."

He normally would have grabbed her ass and given her a smart ass comment about how he would like to wear her out in a different way, but he caught himself fast.

"Okay, I'll take her in," she told him reaching for her as Nick got almost to the top of the brick steps.

"No, no, it's okay, I got her," he said not relinquishing his role as parent.

Jules wasn't pleased to see him walk into the house. Not because she hated him or was hiding something, but because seeing him inside the house made everything feel normal and okay again…and it wasn't. It was an illusion. It was a facade and she didn't want it to weaken her.

Nick carried his daughter into the den and placed her on the couch like he had done so many, many, times before. He leaned down and kissed her tenderly on her forehead, whispering to her.

"I love you, princess. Daddy will always love you and mommy," he kissed her again and looked up at Jules who was standing just a few feet away.

Turning toward her he tried to talk to her.

"Sweetheart, since she is asleep do…" he began before getting cut off by Jules.

"Please don't call me that…don't call me that," she told him coldly.

It hurt her to hear him call her little terms of endearments. He didn't deserve to have an intimate connection of nicknames for her.

She shivered, suddenly remembering him calling Brooke "Darlin'" when he first saw her at the church. She hadn't thought twice about that before.

Nick pressed his lips together and nodded understanding his error. He leaned his hip against the arm of the couch and was getting ready to ask her again if maybe they could talk but Jules surprised him first.

"Well, um, since Em is asleep and…" she looked at the floor before continuing, "…there really is no other reason for you to be here right now," she said and looked back up at him.

With their eyes locked with one another they stayed silent for a very long minute. Finally, as he stared back at her, he broke the silence.

"You really hate me, don't you?" he asked softly feeling ashamed.

"Yeah…" she nodded, "…. yeah I do," she stared back at him emotionless trying to mask that it was a bold faced lie.

Nick winced. He was not expecting to hear that. He thought she would have told him "no" if for no other reason then to make him feel a little better.

He swallowed hard and took a deep, shaking breath.

Jules has just admitted to hating him and, as much as it hurt to hear those words from her lips, he knew…

He knew he deserved it.