Chapter 12—Realization and Fear

Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning, a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love become as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.

Bruce Lee

Edward's POV

The credits were rolling when I woke. My neck hurt also. I didn't recall what we were watching or when I fell asleep—not that it mattered. A smile crossed my face when I glanced down to find Bella still nestled against my chest. She is so beautiful, I thought for probably the millionth time as I reached for the remote. She stirred right as my hand closed around it.

"I didn't mean to wake you," I whispered, shutting off the DVD player and projector.

"You didn't. I closed my eyes when the credits started," she answered with a yawn.

She allowed me to stand, and after a brief stretch, I offered her my hand. The moment she was on her feet, I drew her to me and captured her lips. Bella pulled me closer, and I tightened my arms around her as we both moaned. Like before, it was Bella who the broke the kiss, leaving us both breathless.

Okay. So, me being left breathless wasn't a fluke the first time.

"I think it would be best if we both get to bed," I said in a low voice.

Bella nodded, stepping away from me.

Sharing a brief kiss at her bedroom door, I continued to my room. Like the previous night, I tossed and turned, unable to dismiss her from my mind. Sleep eventually claimed me, and my dreams were filled with a bright future with Bella and our children.

Bella's POV

Three times we kissed. I had been surprised the first time but responded to his kiss. I touched my lips, peering into a small hand mirror. They were a little swollen and still tingled.

When Angela told me of her first kiss, I wanted to be kissed in the same toe-curling experience she had described. I had thought Peter, the guy I was dating at the time, would cause such a reaction for me, but much to my disappointment, it felt like I was kissing my cousin. We broke up a short time later. Then, there was the Seth incident, a failed attempt to get the star quarterback to kiss me. After that, I wasn't interested in getting kissed and turned down all the guys who asked me out, including Jacob.

The thought of Jacob had me trembling. I lay down in bed and stared at the ceiling, willing the fear to leave me and repeating that I was safe and he couldn't find me. Two hours passed, and I was still awake and shaking. Slipping out of bed, I donned my robe and padded barefoot to Edward's room. The door was open, so I continued cautiously.

"Edward?" I called out, from outside the columns, hoping he was still awake. I could hear the fear in my voice.

No sound came from him. I moved a little closer to the bed, calling out again. He still didn't respond. I bit my lip and decided to try waking him once more before throwing caution to the wind and crawling into bed with him until the fear vanished.

"Edward?"

"Bella," he answered, on a whispered sigh, raising his arm.

That was all the invitation I needed. Scurrying under the covers, I cuddled into his side as his arm came down around me. I wasn't sure if he had woken, but I felt protected, even from my wayward mind, once again.

Edward mumbled something else, and strangely, it sounded like "I love you." I didn't think much on it. Sleep-filled ramblings were not to be trusted, I knew. I had lost count of the number of times I had agreed to do something while falling asleep and not knowing till later that Angela or my parents has asked me to do something. Heck, I once agreed to ride a banana while eating a kangaroo.

Sleep finally claimed me, and when I woke, I was alone in Edward's bed.

Edward's POV

Consciousness slowly crept into my sleep-filled mind. Something didn't feel right. My left arm was numb, and my chest was heavy—odd. I decided a call to Carlisle was in order; well, if I wasn't able to figure out the source myself.

Cracking my eyes, I winced at the harsh light streaming in from the window. I must have been too tired last night to draw the curtains. Trying to rollover, I found I couldn't, but I did discover why I my arm was numb. Bella's head was resting—Bella!

Oh no! Don't tell me I magically brought her in here while I slept. I really needed to talk to Carlisle.

Taking care not to wake Bella, I slipped out from under her and grabbed my cell. Carlisle was probably at the hospital or on his way there. With one last look at Bella, I left the room. Ms. Cope was just coming in when I reached the foyer.

"Good morning, Edward," she said.

I was glad she dropped the whole Mr. Cullen charade. Yesterday morning, I informed Ms. Cope that Bella would be staying longer, and it would be silly for the charade to continue.

"Good morning, Ms. Cope," I replied, turning to head upstairs.

"Edward? Breakfast?

"I'll be down in a bit. I have a call to make and need a secure line," I said, lying. The call to Carlisle didn't need to be secure, but she didn't know about my special abilities, and I wanted to keep it that way. Normally, I would make the call from my bedroom, but given the circumstances I woke to, that wasn't possible.

Once inside the hidden altar room, I dialed Carlisle's cell. He answered on the second ring.

"Good morning, Edward."

"Good morning. Are you alone?" I asked.

"No, your mother is with me. What's wrong?"

Rubbing the back of my neck, I related to them both what I woke to and my suspicions about my magic being the cause.

"Now, Edward," Esme started. "You can't jump to conclusions. Have you spoken with Bella and asked if she climbed in bed with you?"

My chin fell to my chest. "No, I haven't. And if she didn't?"

"Erase the question from her memory and plant an explanation," Carlisle said.

"I can't do that to Bella. I'd rather tell her the truth than start fabricating false memories," I said.

Both Esme and Carlisle gasped. "Edward, you can't mean that!"

"I do. All my past relationships ended because of mind-altering magic. It's the same thing as lying, but on a new level of wrong. It starts to compound, and the next thing I know, the girl is remembering things I haven't experienced with her. It would be better to be honest and upfront with Bella."

Silence met me after my rant. "Are you both still there?"

"We're shocked, Edward," Esme answered. "In the past, when we had suggested the honest approach, you were against it. Now … we just don't know what to say."

"Can we know why, after all your relationships, now is the time you want to go with the truth?" Carlisle asked.

Sighing, I thought a moment how best to word my reason. "Alice sent me a picture last night of me and Bella. It was an eye-opener, and it made me realize that you both were right. I have very strong feelings for Bella. I love her, and I don't want to do anything to jeopardize any future relationship I might have with her."

"That must have been some picture," Esme said, and I swore I could hear a smile in her voice.

I hung up. Why did I call Carlisle in the first place? I should have called Jasper. I thought about calling him, but a quick glance at the clock told me he was in class and would be for the rest of the morning. A groan escaped me. There was no way I could avoid Bella until the afternoon; I would have to talk to her soon.

Sucking it up, I made my way back downstairs and into the kitchen. Bella was sitting at the counter with a plate in front of her and talking to Ms. Cope.

"So, you don't think he'll be mad?" she said.

"No, sweetie. You had a nightmare and needed comfort."

"But, I don't believe he really woke up."

A nightmare? "I didn't," I said, making my presence known. "It's hard to wake me up once I'm asleep. You'll have to ask Jasper how he managed wake me in the middle of the night. It's quite the story."

Ms. Cope glared at me, and I shrugged as I stole a piece of bacon from Bella's plate.

~~ L.C. ~~

I wasn't sure how I was going to tell Bella, but she needed to know before anything supernatural transpired. Pacing the study, I said aloud, "Bella … I'm a warlock," testing to see how it would sound if I just came out and said it. I cringed at the term "warlock"; it had such a negative meaning, thanks to Hollywood. Plain and simple, I was a male witch.

"You're a warlock?"

I froze. Bella was behind me, I hadn't heard her come into the room, and she sounded … frightened?

Bella's POV

Edward disappeared after breakfast, and I hadn't seen him since. It didn't matter; I wanted to figure out how to use my Kindle. After a half hour, I discovered I couldn't do much without a computer or Wi-Fi connection.

"Ms. Cope, is there a computer I could use?" I asked when she came back into the kitchen.

"Hmm. There's one in the study."

I found Edward pacing in the room.

"… I'm a warlock," he said.

I gasped, and my hand went to my chest. Edward's back stiffened a moment, and he slowly turned to face me. It was clear he hadn't heard me come into the study.

We stood there and stared at each other for a breath or ten.

"You're a warlock?"

Edward's eyes didn't stray from mine as he took a step forward. I stepped back, suddenly afraid of him. Did Grandfather know this about Edward? Surely not, or he would have told me. What was Edward going to do to me? Tears started coursing down my face as he moved closer toward me.

I collapsed at his feet. Escape was not possible, even if I used magic. Edward knew this house and the land outside better than me, and he had unknown powers. My powers were strong, but I was in unfamiliar territory.

I shrank back when Edward kneeled next to me. He didn't touch me.

"Bella, I promised that I wouldn't hurt you, and I haven't." He sighed. "There's no need to be afraid of me. Yes, I'm a male witch, a warlock, but that doesn't mean I'm going to go back on my promise. Please let me explain."

His hand appeared in my line of sight in a silent plea for me to take. I closed my eyes and placed my hand in his; warmth surged through me. I wasn't sure what to make of the sensation right now. If I was being honest, I wasn't sure if I could trust Edward, but I was willing to hear him out.

A/N: Okay, I think a little history lesson is called for, especially after Edward cringes when he says aloud warlock. As he defines, a "warlock" is another term for a male witch, but the word has negative feel to it when you look at the meaning. The word warlock represents Old English wǣrloga, "traitor", "the one that breaks faith", literally "oath liar". The term was used to describe men who pretended to be witches in order to penetrate covens and betray them during the "Burning Times". Today, the word is rarely used by male witches. Many male witches find the word offensive and prefer to be referred to as a wizard, sorcerer, magician, or witch. The term, thanks to the shows such as Charmed, is used to describe and evil spirit, a demon, a sprite, or an imp. (source: occultopedia)

So, Bella now knows that Edward is a witch. Even if she doesn't trust Edward, at the moment, she's willing to hear him out. How is Edward going to explain? Better yet, how is Edward going to react when Bella shares her other secret with him? Her first secret—that she hadn't shared with anyone outside her family before him—was that she is the granddaughter of a laird. By now, you should know she has magical powers too.

One more thing. Thanks to Jennej and JCat for their assistance in editing this chapter. JCat suggested I use "for a breath or ten," and she was tickled that I used it. Both of my betas make great suggestions, and they both helped me get this chapter's ending just right. The way Bella was reacting in my first draft wasn't like her at all. :)

Until next chapter.