Between Love and Hate

Time moved slowly as Nick and Jules sat crumpled together on their bedroom floor leaning against the dresser. Through their tears they kissed slowly and with tangible emotion. They needed each other in order to breathe again. Jules didn't want to give in and kiss him but she needed to feel him. She needed his arms around her and to feel the love he still had for her. She felt the intensity of his love, and because of that, it blocked out all thoughts of his infidelity. It made her forget. It made the hideous pain stop, even if it was just for a little while.

Nick held her face and he could feel her need for him just from her touch. He felt the pain she was carrying in her heart through her kiss. He was so sorry. He was genuinely overwhelmed with sorrow and grief. He loved this woman with a love he never knew he had inside him. He kissed her with his soul.

Their warm tears mixed together on their faces and their hearts melted together as they kissed each other on their bedroom floor. Jules slowly reached around his neck and pulled him closer. He leaned into her as if he wanted her to crawl inside him so she could feel how much adoration he felt for her.

Without breaking from their kisses Jules lowered herself to the floor with Nick's body over hers. He blanketed her with his entire being. As the tears fell and their kisses unending, Jules didn't even realize that her fingers were unbuttoning each button on his shirt. As his shirt hung half way open, she allowed her hands and fingers sneak inside, slide around over his shoulders and back, and feel his warm skin underneath them.

The feeling of her caressing hands made Nick's heart beat faster and the fire picked up in his kiss. Nick and Jules had a rare sexual chemistry that was undeniable. Jules always joked that they should never be left alone in a room together without supervision. Once their passion ignited, the two of them caused a fire storm that could not be contained or tamed. The spark was beginning to ignite now and it took them both by surprise.

Nick's mouth left her lips and trailed through her wet tears down to her sweet smelling neck. He loved her scent; loved her soft skin, loved the feeling of her hair on his face.

Jules let her head roll to the side as he kissed her neck and she pulled his shirt tails out of his tan pants before continuing to unbutton the rest of his shirt. She reached back up under his shirt and pushed it over and off his shoulders exposing his chiseled chest as she did. Her hands felt every inch of him. Nick took her cue and reached for the bottom of her little, white and pink t-shirt. Pulling herself up from the area rug they were lying on, she lifted her arms and allowed her shirt to come up and off. He tossed it thoughtlessly to the side never taking his eyes off of her. She stared back at him as she lay herself back down on the rug pulling him back to her by his shoulders.

She didn't have any thoughts or reservations when her hands reached for the buckle on his belt. She felt unconscious to the fact that she was unbuttoning his pants and unzipping his zipper.

Nick let his hands roam around her body, and he kicked off his shoes as he caressed her sides and hips before pushing his hands underneath her and maneuvering the clasp on the back of her bra and unhooking it was ease. She felt chills when the bra stroked against her as he removed it from her and tossed it away from them. He leaned back onto her so he could feel her bare chest connect with his.

Making his way to the front of her soft, pink, sweatpants, he pulled the drawstring and felt them loosen around her tiny waist. Together in unison they lowered each others pants over their hips. Nick felt his hard-on bursting through his boxers. Jules felt their breathing pick up and they rapidly kicked off their pants as they kissed each other intimately.

"Nick...," she whispered and tears filled her closed eyes once again.

"My God.. I love you," he whispered back between kisses.

Jules opened her eyes and tears spilled from them. She stared back at Nick whose eyes were focused on hers.

"What are we doing?" she whispered in a pleading tone.

Nick reached over and held her face on one side with his palm. He leaned in, pressed his forehead against hers. He could feel tears well up in his eyes and he leaned in to kiss her lovingly. He couldn't speak; only his kiss was his answer. She kissed him back with desire.

The two of them became wild with passion. They were unstoppable. It was too late to think about what they were doing. Nick put one arm under her back and the other under her knees. He lifted her up off the area rug that covered their hard wood floors and he brought her over to their soft, king size bed and laid her down on top of the thick down comforter. She stared up at him beckoning him forward with her eyes alone. He crawled up onto the bed and covered her with his body once again.

Jules reached into Nick's boxers and softly gripped his enormously hard dick. She let her clutching hand glide up and down it, tugging it loosely before removing it completely from it's boxer short prison.

Nick took her cue and reached for her panties, pulling them down slowly. Jules wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek before attacking his neck. She smelled him. She breathed him. She melted into his flesh.

Nick grabbed his cock and began to position himself for entry before suddenly holding back. He stared directly into her eyes. They pleaded with hers. He needed to know if it was okay for him to enter her heart again. He needed her to tell him he could go inside her. Her eyes penetrated into his and showed him a sad vulnerability. He began to think he should put an end to the intimacy in order to protect her. The last thing he wanted to do was take advantage of her pain. He couldn't hurt her anymore. He loved her too much.

Nick closed his eyes and whispered to her slowly, "I love you more than I ever knew possible. I never thought I was even capable of hurting you…but I did…I'm so, so sorry," a tear snuck down his face. "I can't take advantage of your pain, Jules. I can't do it," he leaned up and wiped the tear with his forearm.

Preparing to move off of her, she grabbed his head with both hands and pulled it down to hers quickly. Her lips attacked his and he allowed his body to move back over her. She reached down and grabbed his cock for him and led it to her opening. He felt himself push inside her and they both gasped from the sensation.

Jules knew she shouldn't be doing this. She knew it was a bad idea.

But, if it was so wrong, she silently asked, then why does everything about it feel so right?

Nick slid himself in and out of her slowly, trying to capture the feeling of being inside her completely. He needed to be inside her. To go inside and become one with her. Nick needed her in order to feel emotions that had been dead inside him for the past week without her. He had been yearning to feel their connection again. To feel how they were made for each other.

Jules clung to him. She clung to his shoulders. She wanted his body and she needed his soul. They had something incredible right from the beginning. They were the puzzle pieces that came together to make a beautiful picture...with one piece missing, their beauty was ruined.

She felt him making love to her with every part of his being. They weren't fucking. They weren't having sex. They were making love in the purest possible way. Their emotions were raw and they were holding onto each other with everything they had inside.

Nick began to pick up his pace and he propped himself over her as he did. Looking down at her he told her over and over how much he loves her and how she is everything to him. She didn't answer him. She just stared. She stared because she was suddenly afraid. Afraid she just let her heart be exposed to a man she shouldn't be trusting. His words of sorrow and heartfelt apologies made Jules remember and become very aware of the mistake he made.

As he thrust himself inside her, he closed his eyes from the intense pleasure she was giving him. When he opened his eyes and stared back at her again, he saw instantly her fear and insecurity. He slowed down to nearly a stop and he waited silently.

Jules stared back at him. Her tears dripped down the sides of her face and flooded into her hair. Nick kept still and silent and he felt the fear of losing her again. He took a deep breath as she reached up again and held his face with her hands.

"I hate you," she whispered as she cried. "I do…I hate you so much…" and she cried harder.

With his face in her hands, Nick clenched his eyes tight. He felt sick. He stopped breathing before he opened his eyes to look back at her and tell her how sorry he was again. But when he did she stared back at him and he knew then that she didn't mean it. Her eyes told him…She wanted to hate him; she wanted to, but she just couldn't.

Jules leaned up and kissed him with her entire body and spirit. She knew at that moment that she could tell him she hated him all she wanted, but the love she felt for him was too intense to stifle. She was madly, crazy, insanely in love with Nick and always would be. He began to thrust himself inside her again and again passionately. Jules believed with her entire being, that Nick would never intentionally hurt her.

As they made love with deep emotion, she realized her heart refused to doubt him… regardless of the proof she had in front of her.