The Aftermath

She breathed in sync with him as they made love with pure nakedness. She heard his breath grow heavy and he let out a groan and came inside her. She held him tightly as he fell on top of her body completely spent. She draped her arms around his back and felt his skin under her fingertips. She also felt the tears start to fall from her eyes and roll down her cheeks again.

"What have you done, Jules? Where is your pride?" She grew horrendously ashamed at her lack of willpower.

Nick felt the warm tears on his cheek. At first he thought it was his own sweat until he felt her chest shudder beneath him from her trying to hold back her cry. He instantly propped himself up, looked down at her, and saw the heartache in her face. He saw the tears welled in her eyes and flowing rapidly down her cheeks. His heart broke at the sight.

"No, no, Baby, no…don't cry, Honey, please," his southern accent was thick as he spoke.

Hearing his southern voice while looking up into his deep brown eyes she completely crumbled. She took her arms off of his back and covered her face with her them. She was silently crying but she was crying hard.

"Oh God, no, no, aw man, what did I do? I should have known…I'm sorry, Honey...I... Oh no, no, no… fuck!" he said with a shaking voice.

Nick rolled off of her onto his back and threw his own arm over his face. He felt tremendous guilt. He took advantage of her vulnerability. He found her when she was at her weakest. He was disgusted with himself.

Jules rolled on to her side away from him. She didn't mean to cry. It wasn't his fault. She wanted to be with him. She couldn't NOT be with him. But as she heard him pant and then groan as he came, she had a vision of him doing that same thing with Brooke Latham. She wasn't expecting to see that image in her head…it hit her like a bolt of lightning out of no where. She suddenly felt sick in her stomach. She could not believe what she let herself do and feel.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Jules? I mean really? You have pictures of him with her…a phone bill…what the fuck more do you need?"

Nick felt her roll over on her side away from him and it sliced his heart in two. He rolled onto his side too and faced the back of her. He reached out and stroked the side of her hair gently. He could feel where her hair was dampened from her tears. He felt horribly guilty. He felt ashamed of himself for making her feel this way.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Stokes? I mean really? She let her guard down and you take advantage of her…what the fuck more do you want from her?"

"I'm sorry," were the only two words he manage to whisper out.

Jules couldn't respond. She was so beaten down. Not only did she have pictures of Nick and Brooke together but now phone records that showed 5 different calls he made to her. She really was a blinded fool. How could she let herself believe him? She knew why…she loved him so much that she was willing to believe he would never hurt her: she convinced herself that she didn't need to doubt him. But…she knew better…she had the evidence to support his lies and his indiscretion.

"But why, why, why did she still love him so much? How could she love someone that would lie to her face the way he was doing?"

Nick reached his arm over her and tried to pull her into him, to hold her, and to promise her she could trust him, but he felt her stiffen under his arms and he let his arm droop loosely over her instead.

"Nick?" she whispered

"Yeah, Sweetheart?" he asked very quietly.

"Maybe you should go? Just…" her voice was barely audible as it cracked, "…just get the things you came for and go…"

Nick closed his eyes but still felt the sting of the tears that began to well up inside them. He took a deep breath and although she wasn't looking at him, he wanted her to listen to him.

"Listen to me, okay?" he started to say as she slipped out from under his arm and walked naked to the end of the bed. She picked up her pants and her shirt off the floor and she held them tightly to her body to cover herself. She was ashamed. He could see it in her demeanor. He hated himself for hurting her yet again.

"Babe, I want you to believe me when I say this, okay?" he asked. "Please just please trust me when I tell you this? I know, I know that you have no reason to trust me right now, but I swear on the little girl we made together, I promise you this…" he paused.

"I promise you that I will find out the truth and I will tell you it…even if I find out those things that are in the pictures are true, then I will tell you and I will face my consequences like a man. But, I am telling you, something is wrong with it. Something is very wrong and I will find out what that is… Can you give me the pictures and the envelope they came in?" he asked sitting up in bed looking at her.

"Take whatever you want, Nick," she said in a quiet monotone voice while looking at the floor. "Take it all…take everything," she felt her tears roll from her eyes and drip onto the hardwood floor. It surprised her because she honestly didn't think she had anymore tears left inside her. But, there they fell into tiny wet circles on the floor beneath her.

"They're in the top drawer," she said motioning to the chest of drawers across the room, "go ahead and take them."

Nick flopped back down on the bed and threw his arm back over his face. He knew she no longer cared what he did or what he took because she felt she had nothing left inside her anymore. She had no more fight. None of it mattered anymore. She felt empty.

She might not have said, "You win…take it all because you have taken everything else from me now…including my dignity and pride" but he knew it was what she was feeling in her heart and that nearly killed him.

"I gotta go take a shower…just lock the door behind you," she turned and began to walk numbly to the master bathroom still holding her clothes to cover her nakedness.

"Wait, just wait, please," he begged as he sat back up and scooted off the bed toward her.

"What else do you want, Nicky? What?" she asked him with quiet defeat.

"I am so sorry I hurt you again…," he began.

"No, no, Nick, it's not you…" she shook her head slightly and slowly, "...it's me. I, I just need to go take a shower," she pressed her lips together and tried to smile.

"Just wait," he said and grabbed his boxers off the floor as he walked to her.

He stood in front of her, stepped into his maroon, plaid, boxer shorts, and pulled them up over himself.

Jules waited. She had no more feeling inside her. She obeyed and, as if she was a dog in obedience training, she stood there like he asked.

Nick put his hands on her shoulders. She truly looked vacant. He opened his mouth to speak and to beg and to plead but they were interrupted by a loud squeal of joy and happiness.

"MY DADDY HOME? DADDY, WHERE IS YOU?" Emma screamed as she flew up the stairs.

"Oh. My. God. No, no, no…" Jules put her hand over her mouth. "It's Trista and Em!"

Nick rolled his head back and looked at the ceiling and let out a huge breath of air from his lungs.

"FFFFuck," he said under his breath, and moved quickly to get his pants and shirt at the front of the bed.

Jules threw her shirt on without her bra underneath. With one leg in his pant leg and the other on the floor, the bedroom door flung open, and their little girl stormed inside smiling with a bright "Stokes Smile"...looking just like her daddy. Nick looked up and instantly made eye contact with Trista who was following right behind Emma. From the look on her face she was not only shocked but horrified as well.

"Are you flippin' kidding me?" she spoke firmly. "Seriously, Nick? Serrriousllly?"

Emma scurried over to the big bed, crawled up onto it, and began jumping up and down unaware of what she just walked into.

"My Daddy home…My Daddy home…My. Daddy. Home…," she sang excitedly with each jump.

Jules slipped into her pants and grabbed Emma off the bed. Stepping over the shattered glass and broken picture frame, she carried her to the door without saying a word to Nick or Trista.

"UH OH, WHO BROKENED IT!?" Emma yelled pointing to the smashed wedding picture.

Jules didn't answer, she just kept walking out of the room, through the hall, and down the stairs away from the scene of the crime.

"You fucking prick!" Trista whispered at Nick.

Nick buttoned and zipped his pants and couldn't look up at her.

"I leave her here alone and you come in here and make a move on her like a fucking jackal!" she glared.

Nick put on his shirt slowly and finally looked up at her expressionless as he finished buttoning his shirt.

Trista looked directly back at him, "You fuck around on her and then come back here to fuck with her now too? You make me sick, Nick. I totally thought you were better than this!" she shook her head disgustedly.

Nick shook his head, "No, no, I swear, it's not like that, I am gonna prove it to her and to you!"

"Just get out of here, Nick," she frowned and walked over to the shattered picture. "You broke this and I am gonna have to clean up your mess. Just go!" she said kneeling down and picking up the shattered glass and picture frame carefully.

Nick knew she wasn't referring to the wedding picture she was cleaning up. He knew exactly what she meant.

He wanted to defend himself. He wanted to explain, but he knew if this was a case he was working on, logically the evidence would point to his guilt. He knew he had to prove himself by discrediting the evidence Jules had now, before he could even attempt to defend his innocence.

So, without a defense, Nick took a loud deep breath and let it out slowly as he walked to the chest and removed the manila envelope from the top drawer. He stuck it under his arm, grabbed his shoes off the floor, and walked out of the room silently.

He tucked in his shirt as he walked down the hall and he finished buckling his belt as he went down the stairs. He sat on the second to last step and put his shoes on, the same way he puts them on each night before going out the door to work. Standing up once his laces were tied, he rubbed the back of his head nervously.

"Em?" Nick called for her as he walked into the kitchen, "Emma?"

He heard the scamper of her little feet tear into the kitchen. Nick picked her up and placed her on the granite counter top.

"I love you, Princess, but I gotta go. Give me a kiss and tell me you love me," his words stung him a little. It was the same goodbye phrase he has always given Jules.

"Good bye and you love me," Emma said kissing him and trying to scoot off the counter.

Nick helped her down and handed her her "woobie" before grabbing his vest off the counter. He looked over into the den and saw Jules just sitting on the brick ledge of the fireplace, staring out the sliding glass doors into the yard.

"Mommy, Mommy kiss Daddy goodbye and tell him I love me," she tried to repeat her father.

Jules looked up and pretended to smile.

"Goodbye and I love me," she said quietly.

Nick's throat tightened.

"NICK! The door is open!" Trista yelled from the foyer.

Nick shook his head and took a deep breath.

Walking out into the hall he saw Trista holding the door wide open with her hand showing him the door.

"I know how to get out, Trist," he said agitated.

"Then DO IT!" she grumbled as he walked out his front door.

He heard the door slam hard behind him.