Chapter 6. Revelations

Thomas stood out in the yard smoking happily relaying everything that had happened that day. They had returned from the fair a few hours previous. Freddie was upstairs helping Lord Cartwright change while the other servants were in the servant's hall waiting for Mrs Patmore to finish with their dinner. Or almost everyone Thomas amended as he noted Jimmy slump out into the yard looking miserable.

"Everything all right?" Thomas asked.

Jimmy jumped and his eyes sought Thomas who was leaning against the wall.

"I didn't think anyone was out here" said Jimmy who shifted uneasily.

"I was just leaving" Thomas stubbed out his cigarette and made to leave.

"No don't" said Jimmy. "I wanted to ask you something".

"Well go ahead"

"I was wondering if you…"

"Yes?"

"If you wanted to play cards later" James finished lamely.

"Oh. Well actually I was going to go to bed early"

"Right" replied James darkly. "I expect you would be tired after this afternoon"

"Pardon?" asked Thomas nervously. He was uneasy about the tone of jimmy's voice. He hadn't spoken to him in such a way since they'd patched up their friendship.

"I mean I'd be tired too if I had to spend all day entertaining Mr Reid. When is he leaving anyway?"

"Wednesday" just two days' time thought Thomas sadly. "I didn't realise you disliked him so much"

"I don't. That is I don't dislike him." Replied Jimmy defensively. I'm just tired of having only Alfred to play cards with since you're always so busy with him"

"So what, you have a problem with my spending time with someone else?" asked Thomas flattered by Jimmy's words.

Jimmy picked up on this and became angry at what Thomas was inferring. That he couldn't have fun without him. That he needed him,

"No, I just have a problem with how you two are spending time together"

Thomas felt the colour drain from his face.

"What do you mean?"

"I saw what you were doing"

Suddenly all of Thomas's fears came flooding to the surface. He saw himself losing his job, no one would defend him this time, or worse imprisoned. He knew what happened to his sort in prisons. And what about Freddie. Thomas knew their relationship was only a fling but the thoughts of Freddie losing everything, of being disgraced made Thomas snap.

"Look" he spat venomously. "I don't know what you think you saw but don't think I'm going to let you mess everything up for me again. I am your superior so you better do as you are told and keep your mouth shut!"

Jimmy took a step back shocked and hurt by the harshness of Thomas's words.

"I'd never…"

But Jimmy never got to finish for just at that moment Alfred came bounding out into the yard fuming. He rounded on Jimmy and shoved him.

"I've just been talking to Ivy. How dare you speak that way to her!"

It took Jimmy several seconds to realise just what Alfred was talking about.

"Oh yeah, the fair"

"Oh yeah?!" mimicked Alfred "Oh yeah! That's all you have to say for yourself? You don't deserve someone like her. You don't deserve anyone"

Suddenly all the hurt and anger Jimmy was experiencing bubbled over and he lunged at Alfred sending him crashing back into the servants' hall. Thomas quickly leapt forward to try and calm down the situation but received a smack in the mouth from Alfred as he tried to separate the two.

Daisy screamed at the commotion while Ivy burst into tears running back into the kitchen.

Mr Bates and Freddie who had both just come from upstairs quickly jumped into action and tried to pull the pair apart while Thomas fuming nursed his swollen mouth which was by now bleeding profusely.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!" stormed Mr Carson.

He helped Mr Bates to pull Alfred to his feet while Freddie helped up Jimmy.

"Get off me" snapped Jimmy. "I don't need any help especially not from you!"

Freddie let go of Jimmy and returned his gaze with an icy coldness.

"James and Alfred! You are to go to your rooms at once without dinner. I will discuss your behaviour in the morning at which point I will decide whether you will still be employed at Downton. GO NOW!" yelled Carson.

James and Alfred began heading for the stairs making sure to bump into each other on the way.

"Mrs Patmore will you please get that girl under control!" fumed Carson indicating to Ivy who at this point was howling into her apron.

…..

Sometime later when everything had finally calmed down and everyone had eaten there dinner (except the two footmen) Mrs Patmore had managed to extract the story from Ivy. After much arguing Mrs Hughes had finally managed to convince Mr Carson not to fire the footmen and to chalk the whole thing up to foolish young love. Mr Carson had reluctantly agreed but insisted the pair remain in their rooms for the remainder of the night without supper and in the morning they would receive a stern lecture and not have any time off for the next month.

Thomas was once again outside smoking something which as now difficult to do considering the swelling in his mouth (which Anna had helped him patch up). The house was quiet with everyone having gone up to bed. Almost everyone he corrected as Freddie emerged from the servants' hall and walked briskly over to him.

"How are you feeling?" His voice full of concern.

"Like I've been punched in the mouth" replied Thomas bitterly.

"So I suppose a repeat of this afternoon is out of the question then" said Freddie grinning at the blush forming on Thomas's cheeks.

"I'm not sure I'd be very effective in this condition."

"Well maybe we could go upstairs and find something else to do."

Thomas felt his face go cold as he remembered Jimmy's words.

"I don't think that's a good idea." He hesitated before continuing, "Jimmy saw us".

Worry flickered over Freddie's face before his features formed a knowing expression. "Ah. So that's why".

"Why what?" asked Thomas puzzled.

"Why he reacted the way he did" replied Freddie plucking Thomas's cigarette from his hand and taking a long drag. "He likes you" he said blowing smoke out.

"I don't think so" said Thomas trying to ignore the somersault in his stomach at the thought. "He's made his feelings pretty clear. He tried to have me fired, without a reference. Hell he threatened to turn me over to the police!"

"And yet you're still here".

"That's no thanks to him!"

"Even so. Don't you find it odd after everything that you're still here, he's still here and you're friends? I think he likes you a lot more then he'd like to admit. Why else would he dislike me so much?"

"He doesn't…" But Thomas knew that Jimmy did dislike Freddie.

"Exactly. But that doesn't concern me. My only concern is do you still like him?"

Thomas avoided Freddie's gaze. Of course he still liked Jimmy. You didn't just get over loving someone even if they didn't love you back. Even if you found someone new.

"Nothing will ever happen between us"

Freddie smiled sadly. "That's not what I asked".

Thomas didn't know what to say. Instead he laid his hand on Freddie's cheek caressing it gently.

"Look" Freddie took Thomas's hand and held it between both of his staring fondly down at it. "We both knew this would be temporary. I don't expect you to fall in love with me. But it's been a long time since I've been this close with someone… like us". He paused to look up at Thomas,

"Tomorrow is my last night here and I'd like it if I could spend it with you. Take tonight to think about it and if you change your mind come to my room tomorrow night.

With that he lifted Thomas's hand to his mouth and kissed it.

"Goodnight Thomas".

"Goodnight"

…..

Thomas stayed up long after Freddie had gone to bed. His stomach grumbled and so he went into the kitchen to make himself something to eat. It was only then did he remember Jimmy who had not eaten since lunch. Before he could think about it too much Thomas grabbed some bread, cheese, a large slice of apple crumble and a half full bottle of wine Mrs Patmore had been using in one of her sauces.

He crept up the stairs to the men's corridor and paused outside Jimmy's bedroom. Trying not to think about the last time he had visited Jimmy's room he knocked quietly.

Just when Thomas was thinking of giving up and going to bed the door creaked open and Jimmy's blond head popped out.

"Thomas?" he said in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"I thought you might be hungry" replied Thomas holding up evidence of his theft.

Jimmy's eyes widened hungrily when he caught sight of the food and he stepped back to usher Thomas in. He snatched the food from his hands and sitting on his bed he began to tuck in. Thomas stood watching as Jimmy scoffed the bread not quite sure as to whether he should stay or not.

"Do you want to sit down" said Jimmy indicating the desk chair. "Err… did you want some?"

"No. But I will take a swig of the wine". He reached out to take the bottle trying to ignore the way Jimmy's pyjama top clung to his chest.

They sat in silence for a few moments eating and drinking until finally Jimmy broke the silence.

"Look Thomas, I'm sorry about what I said. I shouldn't have mentioned it".

"Were you following me?" asked Thomas experiencing an odd sense of de ja vu as he asked.

"No! I just wanted to take a piss! I guess I had too much to drink and when I heard Mr Reid err moaning" Jimmy began to blush heavily "I didn't think what might have been happening. I certainly wasn't expecting to find you…together". Jimmy if possible blushed even deeper. "But I won't tell anyone. I promise".

Thomas was reeling from Jimmy's admission. He wasn't sure whether he was more shocked that they had been seen or that Jimmy wasn't going to do anything about it.

"Well… thank you Jimmy. And I'm sorry too, for snapping at you".

"It's all right I suppose I had it coming. No one seems to like me very much at the moment. And I'll probably be kicked out in the morning so I suppose it won't matter much" said Jimmy miserably.

Thomas reached out to grip Jimmy by the shoulder. "It's not so bad Jimmy. You're not going to lose your job though I suspect you'll wish you had when Carson has you polishing silver 'til your hands bleed".

Jimmy smiled a little at that.

"And anyway, I still like you". Thomas removed his hand from Jimmy's shoulder not wanting to make him uncomfortable.

"Do you?"

"Of course I do."

"I thought you liked Mr Reid now".

Thomas suddenly felt very uncomfortable himself. "Well I can like both of you. Just… differently"

Thomas was almost certain he saw a flicker of disappointment flash across Jimmy's face but it was gone so fast he felt he must have imagined it.

"I better get back. Wouldn't want Carson to find me in here and get us into more trouble".

"Oh ok."

Thomas got up and walked swiftly to the door opening it slowly to peer out.

"Thanks Thomas"

Thomas turned around gave Jimmy one last smile before he slipped out.

After he left Jimmy wished he could have asked him to stay longer. Asked him if it was normal to feel jealous of Mr Reid. But he knew he couldn't ask him that. He was afraid of revealing too much. How could he explain that he felt aroused when he watched them. That he wasn't jealous because Reid was taking Thomas away as a friend but that he wanted Thomas to feel that way about him, only him. That he was afraid only Thomas really liked him for who he was and the thought of losing that made him sick to his stomach.

As he drifted off to sleep that night he was visited by images of Thomas. He dreamed he were kneeling at Thomas's feet, stroking him and kissing him. Thomas moaned and told him he loved him and as he came in Jimmy's mouth, he tasted like red wine.

The next morning he was woken by Alfred knocking on his door saying Carson was waiting for them.