A/N: Hey guys, sorry it took me so long to get this back to you but work has been crazy, and I had some writer's block. Anyway, thank you for reading and an extra thank you to those of you who review. It means a lot!

Special thanks to Edwardrocksmysocks for her work with this chapter and her ability to deal with my whining about this chapter all week. You rock!

If you think I wrote Twilight then I don't want you reading this story, so shoo.

Chapter 14

I Wish It Would Rain

EPOV

"Hey lead foot, easy on the gas." Emmett laughed from the passenger seat of his jeep. This was probably the fourth time he'd opened his mouth in as many minutes.

I had just said goodbye to the only thing that mattered to me and he felt now was the time to critique my driving. I wouldn't have to drive at all if he and Jasper hadn't felt the need to deplete Charlie's cooler on their little fishing trip. Well Jasper probably would have been fine to drive but why take the risk.

"Emmett, I swear to God, one more word and I'm wrapping this piece of shit around a tree," I growled as I pushed the speedometer up another notch.

I tried to focus on the winding dirt road and not my idiot of a big brother, but he just couldn't keep his trap shut.

"Word," he said in a monotone voice.

A string of expletives flew out of my mouth as I punched him repeatedly in the shoulder, keeping one hand on the wheel. He laughed but held his arm in pain.

"Can you please just shut the hell up?" I asked. I should probably feel bad for taking out my anger towards myself on him but seriously, it's Emmett.

"What are you going to do if I don't?" He taunted with a grin.

Idiot.

"I'm going to kick your ass when I put this thing in park," I said not looking at him.

He laughed loudly as though I were funny.

"I'm serious," I told him.

"You couldn't if you wanted to." He chuckled.

"Yes, I could," I said confidently. I had beaten him once or twice. He may have been big but he was slow as hell.

"No you couldn't."

"Yes, I could."

"No you couldn't."

"Yes-"

"Would both of you shut up," a previously silent Jasper yelled from the backseat causing us both to jump.

The rest of the ride to the Hale's was silent.

"Mama Hale, we're home!" Emmett yelled as he barged into the house. Jasper just laughed as Emmett made a b-line for the kitchen.

"There's no food made; where is she?" Emmett demanded as he made his way back to the living room.

"Her and John went out tonight. They probably won't be home till late." Jasper yawned kicking off his shoes.

You did not want to track mud in Mama Hale's house. I had once seen her drag Jasper outside by his ear when we were younger because he got dirt on her floor. John, Jasper's step father, had just laughed. It was funny because I believe Jasper was about eighteen at the time.

"You got any beer in here?" Emmett asked from the couch which he was now stretched across.

"In the fridge," Jasper sighed as he flopped down in one of the two recliners in the living room. I took the other one after getting my shoes off.

"So are you going to tell me what happened or are we just going to pretend that I have no idea that anything is wrong?" He asked with half a smile.

"What are you talking about?" I asked before flipping on the television and turning to ESPN.

"Dude, get real. Even if your panties weren't in a huge twist for some reason, Bella's face when she came into the house is enough to let me know something went down."

"Shit," I mumbled, rubbing my face with both hands.

"Yeah, you're lucky Emmett didn't notice or you'd be on his shit list right about now."

"Can we talk about this later? I really don't want to have to get into this with Emmett. He already threatened my life if I screwed anything up with her." I sighed.

"Hey Emmett!" Jasper yelled loudly towards the kitchen.

"What the hell are you doing?" I whispered harshly.

Emmett called out a yeah and Jasper grinned at me.

"Mom made a pot of her famous chili for us this afternoon. It's in the fridge she said we could heat it up if we got hungry."

"Shit yeah," Emmett yelled.

"Don't forget, Mom doesn't want anyone eating in the living room. You remember what happened last time," Jasper called back loudly.

"Yes" was Emmett's mumbled response.

"Okay so talk, what did you do?" Jasper smiled at me.

"Dude that's just it, I don't even think I did anything this time. I think it's just over. Some things happened and I thought we were on the same page but then she tells me it means nothing and she can't trust me to be in a relationship with her," I said trying to leave out as many details as possible.

"Wait, did you sleep with her?" Jasper whispered, leaning forward.

"C'mon man," I sighed.

I did not want to discuss having sex with Bella with anyone. It was ours and it was private. It amazed me how different I felt about discussing sex when Bella was involved. A week ago I wouldn't have minded giving Jasper the sordid details of whichever flavor of the week he wanted to hear about.

"You did," he said like he was disappointed.

"Don't worry man, I understand not wanting to share the details but what happened, ya know, after?" He asked with genuine concern.

"Long story short, I asked her what it meant to her and she basically told me it didn't mean anything. We fought she said there wasn't a chance and now I'm here," I said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"That's harsh, Edward," he said with a nod of his head.

"Tell me about it," I agreed.

"Can you really blame her though?"

"No," I said honestly.

Jasper didn't say anything he just looked at me waiting for me to break down and tell him everything, like he was Barbara Walters or some shit.

"It just kills me man. I made a mistake, a big mistake, but a mistake nonetheless. I'm only human. It's just driving me nuts knowing that there is nothing I can do to convince her to give me second chance. I understand her reasoning but what am I supposed to do now?" I asked?

Jasper gave me a sympathetic look and shrugged his shoulders.

"Well it looks like to me you have two options. You can bow out with dignity and let her move on or you can fight. Neither one is really right or wrong it's just what you want to do. But I have known Bella longer than you-"

"Barely," I scoffed. He gave me a stern look for interrupting him before continuing his little speech.

"As I was saying, I have known Bella a long time, and—although I don't know what she is feeling right now—I do know how she felt about you. That girl's love for you was unbreakable."

"Apparently not," I sighed. I was able to break it.

"Dude it's broken but not destroyed. A love like that doesn't just disappear. If anything, it's hidden behind fear. Just be her friend for now. It seemed like that is what you were moving towards before you…before today. Start there and keep proving to her that you aren't who you were."

"You guys didn't want any of this chili did you?" Emmett hollered from the kitchen.

Jasper jumped up out of his seat and moved quickly to the kitchen.

"Dude, I swear…" I heard him mumble as he entered the kitchen.

I kicked back and turned up the volume on the television trying to drown out thoughts of Bella. I was so screwed. Let her go or fight, those were my options. Truth be told, I didn't even have an option because by now she had probably already read the note I left saying goodbye. What was I supposed to do now? Walk up to her and say 'Hey Bella, you know that so long letter I left you telling you to move on and be happy…yeah scratch that'.

I'm such a jerk.

No, it was done. She deserved better. She deserved everything. I would let her have that.

By the time the guys returned I was eyeballs deep in self pity. I considered drinking it away but I knew I wouldn't do that again. I had spent the first six months after our break up trying to drink the thoughts of her away and had learned that there is not a whiskey strong enough to outlast her.

So I tried to immerse myself in whatever pointless conversation Jasper and Emmett felt like having.

It was later in the evening when the conversations became nearly unbearable. Emmett had begun to sober up a little but was getting a little too serious for my taste.

"What if I screw up this whole marriage thing?" He asked Jasper mostly since I wasn't much of a talker tonight.

"You won't, everything will work out fine," Jasper said for probably the third time tonight.

"You don't know that man. I can't mess this up. I can't be without Rose. She's as stubborn as a mule and the biggest pain in the ass I've ever met but that woman is everything, ya know?" He said honestly.

If I wasn't feeling so down myself I probably would have given him hell for sounding like a girl but I was just tempted to nod and pass him a box of tissues.

"How did you handle it man?" Emmett asked me out of nowhere.

"Handle what?"

"Losing Bella. I know you broke up with her but she was the one you were supposed to be with you know? Like if we only get one real true love or whatever, she was yours. How do you deal with losing that?" He asked.

I didn't know whether to hit him or cry like a little girl, so I just answered him as honestly as I could.

"I didn't," I sighed.

He was right. She was that one person for me. In all the years I had been away and with all the women I had met, no one compared to her.

"What do you mean?" Emmett asked.

"Hey Emmett, do you remember the time we dared you to run across the high school parking lot naked?" Jasper laughed nervously. Clearly he was just trying to distract Emmett.

"Yeah I remember. But seriously Edward, how do you just go on knowing that the woman who you're supposed to be with isn't there?" He asked with a genuine concern and curiosity.

I knew Emmett well enough to know that he wasn't trying to be spiteful or malicious. He still thought we were on a path toward getting back together.

"I don't know, Em," I said trying to keep my patience.

"I'm going to get some fresh air." I spoke mainly for Jasper's benefit. He gave me an understanding nod as I walked out.

I paced across the Hale's porch for a while before I realized that wasn't helping at all so I decided to pace the yard instead. I walked around kicking random branches and rocks that got in my way.

When I ran out of rocks I began angrily picking at bark on a tree.

My life sucked.

I finally flopped down on the grass without caring about the wetness that was soaking through my jeans. Rain drops began falling around me and I laughed out loud at how perfectly the rain added to my pathetic predicament.

"Seriously?" I called out to the sky with a dark laugh. Thunder rumbled loudly and I figured it was best to shut my mouth.

I was busy pulling grass out of the wet dirt when I heard the low rumble or Rosalie's car. Fantastic, I couldn't wait to hear what she had to say to me. Luckily I knew she wouldn't hit me; I was in her wedding photos tomorrow.

As soon as the door to the car opened I realized it wasn't Rosalie, but Bella. She stumbled across the lawn and I got up quickly to follow her. I tried not to think of what this could mean. I didn't want to get my hopes up. For all I knew she just wanted to borrow a cup of sugar.

She turned to see me as I hit the porch and said my name with a breathy voice.

"What's going on?" I asked with hesitation.

She tried to give me an explanation but didn't get far.

"What is it love?" I questioned looking deep into her eyes.

"Oh, what the hell." she said before pressing her lips to mine.

Everything seemed to fall into place when she kissed me firmly.

She was here. Bella was here, in my arms. This was all I could think about as I kissed her back with as much passion as she was giving me.

I needed her even closer so I lifted her up and pulled her jean clad legs around my waist. Our lips stayed fused together with nothing but a few soft moans escaping.

The thought that this could be her goodbye to me flashed in my mind but I quickly pushed it back and pulled her even tighter against me.

"I'm sorry," she whispered once she finally separated our mouths.

"You have no reason to be," I mumbled before pulling her lips back to mine.

She ended our kiss again and rested her forehead against mine.

"We have to talk, Edward." She sighed.

"Mmhmm," I got out before reclaiming the soft lips I had been craving.

After what felt like a second, she broke our connection again. I may have growled at her. Just a little.

"I'm serious." She looked at me pleadingly.

I sighed heavily, weighing my options.

"Fine," I sighed.

I walked over to the porch swing that hung over the Hale's porch and sat down with her still wrapped around me.

"We'll talk, but you have to stay on my lap." I smiled, only half serious. I felt so much relief at her presence here that I couldn't even be nervous about the upcoming conversation. She was here.

"If you insist," she began.

"I do."

I nodded my head urging her to speak first.

The moment her lips parted I felt the weight of what was about to happen. I tightened my arms around her waist knowing that—depending on what she had to say—this could be my last opportunity to have her close to me.

"Um…wow…this is harder than I thought it would be. I'm not sure where to start," she said nervously.

"Well, how about you start with telling me what you're doing here?" I said gently as I pulled her bottom lip from her teeth.

"I read the letter. I got the picture. I can't believe you kept that on you all this time."

"Of course I did. I had to have some piece of you with me," I said sadly, remembering how many nights I had spent alone just staring at her picture, wondering where she was or what she was doing.

My longing for her had been all consuming and, like Emmett, I still wonder how I made it through.

"I don't want this to be over. I can't stand the idea of wasting another three years without you. I'm so conflicted. I want to be with you but a part of me is still wondering what would be the bigger mistake." She sighed.

"I don't understand," I said while brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

She gave me a small smile and took a deep breath.

"I don't know if walking away from here without you or taking the risk and giving you the opportunity to hurt me again is going to cause more damage. I don't know if I could handle you walking away from me again. It hurt too badly to go through twice."

My heart ached with her admission. She still thought there was a possibility I could leave again. That was an impossibility.

I took her face in my hands and locked my eyes with hers.

"Bella, I will never make that mistake again. I promise you that-"

She pulled her hands from mine and placed them on my neck.

"You can't make that promise, Edward," she interrupted.

"Yes, I can. I know I told you before that I'd always be there and I failed you. Now I know how that feels and the repercussions of my actions."

"How, will this work? I'm in Florida, you're in New York. We've been apart so long do we really know each other anymore?" She questioned while running a hand through my wet hair.

I bit back a moan at the sensation and forced myself to respond with English words.

"We can work it out. Honestly, I don't care. I'll move to Florida if I have to and we can get to know each other all over again. I just need you with me," I begged.

God, I sounded pathetic.

She kissed me again fiercely and I prayed that meant yes.

She pulled away from my face and stared at me for a moment searching for something.

"Okay," she said and then exhaled loudly.

"Let's slow things down a bit?" She said it like a question and I quickly agreed knowing that I would have agreed to almost anything just to have her back.

I kissed her again but she pulled back after only a few seconds and laughed lightly.

"Not exactly the reaction a guy hopes for when kissing a beautiful girl but it's nice to hear you laugh."

"I was just thinking that clearly taking this slow is going to be harder than I thought," she said.

She rested her forehead against mine and I smiled widely at the feeling of having her close.

A soft knock came from the door which was strange considering we were outside.

I looked at the door to see Jasper poke his head out.

"Hey…sorry guys. Um, Alice just called Bella. She said to tell you to kiss him one more time and get your butt back to the house. Something about pre-wedding business and beauty sleep," he said suppressing a smile.

"Duty calls," Bella sighed.

"We'll talk tomorrow?" I asked before giving her one more chaste kiss.

"Tomorrow." She smiled before climbing off me and heading toward her car. I watched her drive off into the night until I felt something hit me in the back of the head.

I turned and gave Jasper a glare but he just laughed and motioned for me to come inside.

I walked inside and laughed at the surprised look on Emmett's face, like he had just noticed I wasn't in the house.

"Emmett, it hurt like hell when I lost her, but it's heaven having her back," I said with a grin before heading for a shower.

A/N: Okay so I'm not really sure what to say about this chapter…I hope you enjoyed it! Let me know in a review and as always you will be rewarded!

Thanks,

Robin