Chapter 12

A/N Hi guys, so sorry for the delay in posting this. My laptop crashed so I lost all my work! It took me a while to re-write this chapter and I added a few changes. Hope you enjoy!

Jimmy yawned loudly as he fastened the final button on his waistcoat. He sat down on the bed heavily and rubbed tiredly at his eyes. He hadn't been able to sleep much for the past few days. It had been three weeks since Thomas had left his room and they hadn't spoken since. At least nothing more than "good morning" and "good night" or "pass the salt". The silence was driving Jimmy crazy but he forced himself to endure it. Thomas took his lead from Jimmy and had kept his distance but Jimmy often caught the under butler staring anxiously at him. It was that worry that made Jimmy determined to keep silent. He had caused Thomas enough pain and grief and he refused to inflict anymore. He wouldn't speak to Thomas unless he could give him an answer about how he really felt about him. Until he was certain he resolved to stay away. Jimmy yawned once more before dragging himself to his feet and began to make his way down to breakfast.

Jimmy entered the servants' hall and noticed to his chagrin that he was the last to arrive. He settled quietly down next to Alfred who gave him a brief nod and shot him a look of warning. Jimmy was about to ask what Alfred meant when he caught sight of Mr Carson. The butler's face was bright red and he was having a hushed heated argument with Mrs Hughes. It was not unusual for the two to have the occasional disagreement but Mr Carson rarely did so in full view of the other staff. Alfred leant in to mutter out of the corner of his mouth,

"It's Lady Edith's birthday party. Lord and Lady Flintshire have written to say their daughter Rose is ill so they aren't coming, Lady Cartwright has written to ask if they can arrive on Friday instead of Saturday and now Lady Edith is insisting on some new fancy pudding to be served but Mrs Hughes has already done all the orders. I'd stay well clear of Mr Carson today if I were you. He looks as though he's about to explode!"

Jimmy was by no means a huge fan of Mr Carson's, but even he was concerned for the butler's health. He'd put himself in an early grave if he kept this up. After all it was only a bloody dinner party.

Mrs Hughes glanced up feeling Jimmy's eyes on her. She did a double take as she examined the footman more closely.

"My word James are you quite well? You look as though you're on death's door!"

Jimmy blushed as all eyes suddenly turned to him. Many of the staff murmured their agreement with Mrs Hughes's assessment as they took in his pale pallor and the deep circles under his eyes. Without looking up he could sense the worry and concern that was radiating off Thomas who had not taken his eyes off Jimmy since he entered the room.

"Maybe you ought to go lie down" offered Ivy as she collected the empty plates.

Mr Carson glared at Jimmy seeming to dare him to ask for the day off.

"No I'll be fine. I'm just a bit tired is all I haven't been able to sleep much lately."

Thomas stared guiltily down at his tea cup which only made Jimmy feel worse.

"Well be sure you get enough sleep tonight!" bellowed Mr Carson. The first of the guests is arriving tomorrow and we still have to polish the silver, make up the guest beds, organise the…" Mr Carson suddenly broke off clutching at his chest. Mrs Hughes leapt up from the table as the butler began to turn puce. "Alfred, go and ring for Dr Clarkson immediately!"

Alfred quickly hurried out of the room while Mrs Hughes set to work unbuttoning Mr Carson's collar and asked Ivy to fetch him some water. Behind her the bells rang noisily signalling the family were up and awaiting their breakfast. One of the hall boys came running in to say the doctor was on his way but there was a man on the telephone looking to speak to Mr Carson about a wine delivery.

Mr Carson gasped and made to get up before Mrs Hughes firmly pushed him back into his seat. Thomas rose to his feet before Mrs Hughes could rebuke the hall boy for his ill timed interruption.

"Jimmy, find Alfred and go make sure everything is ready for the upstairs breakfast, Mr Bates will you please inform his Lordship that Mr Carson has been taken ill and you," Thomas rounded on the hall boy who looked visibly shaken, "go outside and wait for the doctor. I'll go and deal with the wine delivery."

The room was suddenly filled with the sounds of scraping chairs as everyone scattered to complete their assigned tasks.

…

Several hours later Dr Clarkson had been and gone and, much to Mr Carson's dismay, had advised that the butler needed rest and was to remain bed ridden for the next week. Mrs Hughes had had to threaten to have him hospitalised to keep him in his bed and so it fell to Thomas to take on the butler's duties as well as the organising of Lady Edith's birthday celebration.

Thomas was kept plenty busy in the following few days as he oversaw the various preparations being carried out for the party. As the first of the guests arrived Thomas found his work load increase further as he now had all the extra servants to oversee.

That night he was sat at the servants' hall smoking. Though it was almost eleven o clock he had only just finished for the day and was looking forward to a bit of peace and quiet. Mrs Hughes caught sight of him and asked if he would like a nightcap in her sitting room. He was grateful if not surprised by her offer. In all his years working at Downton he could count the number of times he had been in Mrs Hughes's sitting room on one hand.

He followed her down the hall and settled into an arm chair accepting a glass of sherry from her.

"I must say Mr Barrow you have more than risen to the challenge these last few days. Even his Lordship has commented on it."

Thomas nodded his thanks once again pleasantly surprised. He did not often receive praise from the family.

"Thank you, Mrs Hughes" he said sipping his drink.

"I don't mind offering praise where it's due."

Mrs Hughes sipped her own sherry seeming to think about what she was about to say.

"I've noticed you and Jimmy seem to have fallen out again. Is there anything the matter?"

Thomas coughed loudly as he choked on his drink.

Mrs Hughes rose to pour him a glass of water from the jug on her desk and he exchanged his now empty glass of sherry for it.

"I wouldn't normally involve myself but he hasn't been looking too well recently and I wondered if you knew why?"

Thomas cleared his throat as he stared at his water avoiding the housekeeper's gaze.

"I haven't a clue. But I'm sure it's nothing too serious."

Thomas stood unsteadily to his feet and bid Mrs Hughes good night.

"Goodnight Mr Barrow."

Thomas couldn't help but notice the disappointment in her voice as he left.

He walked swiftly upstairs to his bedroom thankfully not running into anyone else along the way. He collapsed on to the bed fully suddenly exhausted. He had done nothing over the past few days but worry about Jimmy and hearing Mrs Hughes express her own concerns only added to Thomas's anxiety. Every morning Jimmy had come down to breakfast looking exhausted despite the fact that he was usually the first to go to bed every evening. Thomas had overheard Alfred, who slept in the room next to Jimmy's, telling Ivy and Daisy that he was being kept awake by jimmy pacing half the night. Thomas had told him off for gossiping and sent him off to help the hall boys roll out the carpets in the foyer.

Thomas sat up and unbuttoned his collar before bending down to untie his shoes. This is silly, he thought, as he kicked them off. He should just go and see Jimmy. Thomas slipped his shoes back on and went to go knock on the footman's door. His doubt's crept in even as knocked and he briefly considered turning around and running straight back to his room. Just as he was about to do just that, the door opened and Jimmy stared back at him in surprise.

"What are you doing here?"

Thomas winced at Jimmy's less than enthusiastic reaction to his presence and was mentally kicking himself when Jimmy grimaced and stepped back to let Thomas pass.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. Come in."

Thomas stepped into the room and glanced about. He noticed the bed sheets were in a twisted knot at the foot of the bed, as though Jimmy had been tossing and turning. He turned to face the younger man.

"I just wanted to see how you are. I know things have been rough for you lately and I wondered if there was anything I could do to help?"

Jimmy stared at the floor unable to meet the under butler's eye. "No, there's nothing you can do. This is my problem not yours."

Thomas sighed saddened by Jimmy's answer. "Alright, well I guess I should let you sleep."

Thomas swept past Jimmy but paused when his hand touched the door knob. Gathering his nerve he turned back to face Jimmy and reached for his hand, ignoring the footman's shock.

"Look Jimmy, I've said I'll wait and I meant it. If you need time or space or whatever else, I'll give it to you. I'll wait as long as it takes, just so long as you're mine at the end of it."

Thomas took a breath before continuing, forcing himself to say the words.

"But if that's not the case, if the answer is no, I'd rather know it now. We can go back to the way things were. We can still be friends."

Jimmy met Thomas' gaze unsure of how to respond. Maybe it would be for the best if they went back to being just friends. It would certainly make things easier, for Jimmy at least. But as he looked at the older man he knew it would never be enough. Not now he'd had a glimpse of how it could be. Ignoring all the doubts that were filling Jimmy's mind he gripped Thomas's hand tightly.

"I don't want to be your friend Thomas." He leaned in to place a soft chaste kiss on Thomas's lips but pulled back before Thomas could respond more fully. "I just need a little more time."

Thomas smiled as relief flooded his body. Jimmy wanted him, and that was worth waiting for.

"Take as long as you need." He reluctantly let go of jimmy's hand and left the room.

Jimmy closed the door behind Thomas and walked back to his bed rearranging the bed sheets before climbing in thinking maybe he would have a better sleep tonight. Just as he felt himself drift of he heard another knock on the door. It wasn't Thomas's tentative knock but a louder thump. Annoyed at being dragged from his bed he angrily wrenched open the door to see Alfred smiling down at him oblivious to his fellow footman's mood.

"Oh good your still up. Mrs Hughes wanted me to tell you that the Cartwrights are arriving on the seven o clock train so we'll have to be up early to greet them".

Jimmy blinked having almost totally forgotten about Lady Edith's birthday celebrations.

"Why are they arriving so early?"

"Lady Edith, Lady Cartwright and Lady Wilkins are all going to some party thing Lady Edith's newspaper friends are throwing for her. The rest of the guests will arrive on Saturday for the actual dinner".

"Oh, right." Said Jimmy already losing interest.

"Anyway, since Carson is still out of the picture and Mr Barrow is handling all his duties as well as his own, Mrs Hughes says you'll have to be in charge of settling in Mr Reid. Shouldn't be too hard, he was only just here so he knows where everything is. Just show him to his room and you'll be done".

"Right" repeated Jimmy. He had completely forgotten Mr Reid would be coming back. He felt a twinge of jealousy when he thought of the valet and under butler's previous relationship. But there was no chance of that this time. Was there? No. Thomas wouldn't do that to him.

"Anyway, I'm off to bed. Night!"

"Night."

Jimmy closed the door behind Alfred and climbed into bed. To his annoyance sleep did not come as easily as he had hoped and his mind raced as he thought of Freddie's impending visit. After all, Freddie had helped him before, surely he would again.

….

A/N Hi guys sorry again for the delay I promise I'll have the next chapter up by the weekend! When I first wrote this chapter I didn't include the moment between Thomas and Jimmy in Jimmy's room but after reading a guest review who asked that they get together in this chapter. I thought I'd give you a little something just to keep you going. Hope you liked it!