Chapter 27

Sitting beside his sister, hearing her sob, and watching her back shake as she cried hard, made Warrick not only heartsick but furious. He wanted to kill Nick. He wanted to strangle him with his bare hands. How could he? How could he destroy what he had with Jules? So many times Warrick would see the family Nick had and it made him wish he could find that kind of love too. A girl who he could love the way Nick loved Jules and one that would love him back the same way. He wished he could have all of it…a wife he adored and who adored him, a beautiful little girl, the house on a nice street with friends and family who love them. They had no worries. They had everything. And just like that, he threw it away. Warrick was a gambling man and even HE wouldn't have risked it all.

"Baby Girl, I, I…" Warrick didn't even know what to say.

"I'm okay, Warrick. I just needed to cry for a minute, that's all. I'll be okay," she said as she sat up and faced him.

He watched her try to put on a tough exterior for him.

"I just needed to cry the image of him in bed with her out of my…" her face fell into Warrick's shoulder and she wailed in pain.

She never in a million years thought of him having sex with someone else. She knew it was a possibility when she saw the pictures but…now it was confirmed. Jules knew he was a sex animal but she thought she was just what brought it out in him. She thought he only felt that way with her. Apparently she was wrong. Nick didn't just get hot and bothered over her…he was just plain sex crazed.

Warrick held her head to his chest and felt his own heart crack. He closed his eyes and stroked her hair and just let her cry and cry. He listened to her ask him "Why" over and over but he had no answer.

"Why, Rick? Why? Whhhhy?" she cried.

"I don't know, Baby Girl, I don't know," he would whisper back sadly.

"But why? Why?" she would repeat herself. "Why wasn't I enough? What did she have that I didn't?" she begged to know.

"Nothing, Baby Girl. You're the perfect package, honey, I swear to God, I don't understand it," he explained.

When her sobs stopped she backed away and Warrick could see her physically toughening up. He knew she was building the wall. Grams hated when she would do that. She would shut down and let nothing penetrate her. She would make herself hardened and once she did that, it was hard to get her to feel anything. Warrick knew her and he could see her putting on her armor to protect herself…to keep strong and freeze out her pain.

"Warrick," she said stoically, "It's crazy, I know, but… I still believe in him," she said without looking at him.

"Well don't. Don't be stupid, Jules," he told her, "You are smarter than that. And stronger than that. You don't go back with a cheater. You are too good for that and deserve better," he insisted.

"DAMN RIGHT!" Trista said leaning against the door frame. "Nick is an asshole!"

Jules stood up.

"Look, I have a little girl down there," she said pointing," and that asshole your talking about is her father. I can't talk shit about him," she said and pushed past her leaving them alone in the room.

Jules stopped in the middle of the hallway and turned around.

"Who can stay here? Who can stay here with Emma? I gotta get out for a bit," she said.

"You want me to come with you?" Trista asked.

"NO, no, I just need air," she said walking into her bedroom.

Warrick looked down at the floor. He knew it. She was going to run. She always tried to outrun the pain. His sister was in pure heartbreak and there was nothing he could do but let her run from it. She would be back; she always came back. It's just something she needs to do, he thought. He felt horrible. He wished he could get a hold of Nick. He needed desperately to beat him down; to unleash his rage. Jules was the runner but Warrick was the confronter. He had always been her Superman until he passed the torch to Nick. If he had only known what he knows now, he would never have let this happen.

Jules took off the dress she had been trying on and threw it on the floor in a ball. She didn't even bother to pick it up. She reached into her drawer and pulled out her comfortable, pale pink, Juicy Couture sweatpants and threw them on. A white, tight, tank top followed before she grabbed the matching jacket to the sweatpants and zipped herself up in it. She went to her closet grabbed a white baseball cap, put it on as she walked downstairs. She knew one of them, if not both of them, would stay with her daughter.

She didn't care that her makeup was completely off and her eyes were red and swollen. She just had to run away and even if it meant around the block.

Jules hadn't planned on driving there. She only planned to drive away to somewhere other than where she was. But there she was driving in the very direction she didn't want to be going in. Jules pulled into Greg Sander's complex and parked. She gripped the steering wheel tightly and said a silent prayer that she would have the courage to confront him calmly and lay it all out there. She needed to let him know she knew the truth now, and that she knew he was continuing to call Brooke.

She walked slowly up to the townhouse door and rang the bell. Nick answered and she could tell he had been sleeping.

"Jules," he said shocked. "Honey, what's the matter?" he said startled when he saw she had been crying.

"Nick…" she wanted to be civil and calm but she immediately lost her composure. "YOU SLEPT WITH HER?" she screamed.

"WHAT?" he said ushering inside.

"I knew you fooled around and that was horrendous but to hear it confirmed," she said.

Nick brought her to the couch and sat her down to where he obviously had been sleeping. He moved the pillow away and pushed the blanket aside.

"WHHHY?" she wailed. "Why wasn't I enough for you? WHHHY?"

Nick felt like he would crumble to hid knees at the sound of her wickedly painful cry. He thought he heard her most painful cry the day she threw him out but this…this was worse. This was pure heartbreak. He could feel his mouth hanging open but he couldn't seem to close it.

She sucked in a huge breath of air and began trying to talk again.

"The thought of you fooling around…going at it with her…the thought was horrific…but now fucking? Fucking her and KNOWING? KNOWING IT IS TRUE?" she said crying.

"I can't breath, Nicky. I can't fucking breathe!" she screamed.

He reached out and touched her arm and she jerked away from him. He knew then she was so wounded, so raw, she couldn't even let him touch her let alone hold her.

"Jules, listen to me. I am crazy in love with YOU, please believe me…PLEASE!" he was begging and his voice strained from holding back his own tears.

"WHY couldn't you just tell me? Why did you let me think we had a wonderful time in Texas? WHY?" she sobbed with her eyes red and swollen.

Nick stayed silent. He had no words. This was a nightmare he couldn't wake from.

"I can't do this anymore, Nick," she stood up and walked in circle with panic, "I love you, my God I love you, but this is too hard to take," she stared at him.

"I want out. I want out. I want out. I want out," she cried over and over.

Jules suddenly couldn't breathe. She tried to suck in a breath but it wasn't working. She truly couldn't catch her breath. The horror of hearing herself tell Nick she wanted out of their marriage was too much. She never realized how true it was, that when they told each other that being apart was like being without air, it was actually true. Jules was living it right there, at that moment. She couldn't breathe just at the thought of walking away and leaving Nick behind her.

Nick looked up from his seat. He had been hanging his head as he sat there, but when he heard her gasping for air he looked up at her with concern. He stood up and grabbed her. He pulled her to the couch and got on his knees in front of her. He held the sides of her arms and rubbed them up and down telling her softly to breathe.

"Slow down, Baby, breathe. Breathe with me…slllowww…SLLLOWWWLY …breathe…breathe" he breathed with her and she followed his breathing pattern until it slowed down.

She looked at him with fear in her eyes. Pure devastation.

"Jules, listen to me," he told her looking directly into her face.

She looked pale and wiped out.

"I need you to hear me and listen to me with this…" he put his hand to her heart, "you KNOW me. You know me… so give me the benefit of the doubt. Please, please trust me. I know I didn't sleep with her. I know I could never," he begged.

Jules nodded.

"Jules, you hear me?" he asked, "will you believe me? Stand by me…please?"

Jules stared. She heard him. She wanted to believe him. She did know him. At least she always believed that.

She wanted to tell him she believed him.

She opened her mouth to tell him she would stand by him and she heard her words….they weren't at all what she planned on saying. Instead, she heard herself tell him…

"I want out."

She stood up and walked to Greg Sander's front door. She didn't want to look back but she had to. She looked back and saw Nick still on his knees, his hands bracing himself on the couch cushions, and his head hanging down. She wanted to go to him and fall to the floor in next to him, but instead she saw the image of him fucking Brooke Latham for hours on end. She felt her stomach churn. Jules turned away unable to look at him. She held the doorknob to Greg's front door but suddenly just stopped and forced herself to turn toward Nick again and look at him. She needed to say one last thing.

"Nick, I never thought I could live without you…now, I don't think I could ever live with you either," she whispered with sheer pain in her voice, "Cowboy…uh, Nick…this is the end of the road for us."

He couldn't look up at her. He was completely destroyed. Whomever it was who was out to hurt him did just that. They shattered his heart completely and they shattered Jules' heart along with it.

No, Nick couldn't look up but he knew…he knew she had walked out and closed the door behind her.