Chapter 13
Jimmy stood next to Alfred and tried to stifle another yawn. He had been woken earlier than usual and it had felt as though he had only just drifted off before Alfred was pounding on his door to get him up. He felt himself shiver and his mood darkened when he thought of his warm bed upstairs. The Cartwrights were due at any moment and the chill in the air did nothing to lighten Jimmy's already foul mood but he composed his expression as he heard the sound of a car approaching. Mrs Hughes, who was standing to Jimmy's left turned and asked one of the housemaids to go and tell Mr Barrow the Cartwrights were arriving. Though it was customary for all the staff to greet visitors Mrs Hughes had given the under butler the morning off because of how hard he had been working. Jimmy couldn't help but smile at the idea of Mr Barrow sitting in the servants' hall sipping his tea smugly while the kitchen staff ran around like headless chickens trying to organise everything.
As the car came to a stop Lord Grantham, Lady Edith and Mr Branson all emerged from the house to greet their guests. Jimmy and Alfred stepped forward to open the doors while Lady Edith ushered them all inside out of the cold. The footmen busied themselves unloading the luggage wanting to follow everyone else inside as quickly as possible. In his hurry Jimmy misjudged the weight of one of the cases and felt it slip from his grasp. To Jimmy's relief, before the case could crash to the ground another pair of hands reached out to grab it in time. Jimmy glanced up at his helper expecting to see Alfred grinning down at him instead he met the cool eyes of Freddie Reid.
"Nice to see you again James" said Freddie smoothly.
Jimmy was dumbfounded by the valet's winning smile. He had forgotten just how handsome Freddie was. Or maybe he hadn't given the idea much thought on his last visit.
He nodded once in reply and returned to unloading the luggage. Mrs Hughes approached and greeted Mr Reid warmly.
"Good morning Mr Reid, how was the journey?"
"Well, thank you Mrs Hughes". The valet returned the house keeper's smile with one of his own.
"James" said Mrs Hughes turning her attention to him. "You can leave Alfred and the hall boys to finish, take Mr Reid down to the servants' hall for breakfast and then show him where he'll be staying."
"Of course, Mrs Hughes" replied Jimmy turning to reluctantly meet the other man's gaze. "It's just this way."
The pair set off around the side of the house to the servants' entrance.
"So how have you been?"
Jimmy didn't know where to begin.
"Fine"
"How's Mr Barrow, I thought he would have been part of the welcoming party"
Jimmy ignored his lingering jealousy.
"He's fine, busy. Mr Carson was taken ill".
"Yes I heard someone mention that. What a pity and just before the party."
"Mhmm" mumbled Jimmy.
"I take it things between you and Mr Barrow haven't progressed much since my last visit?"
James was caught between the urge to tell the valet everything and tell him to mind his own business.
"Not a lot, no"
As they approached the entrance to the servants' hall Thomas himself emerged from inside and did an almost comical double take at the sight of Jimmy and Freddie together.
"Mr Reid?! I hadn't realised you'd arrived yet.
Freddie grinned at the under butler's awkwardness.
"We came on the 9 o clock train."
"I wish I could stay and talk but I'm supposed to be overseeing the preparation for the guest rooms."
"Oh don't worry Jimmy is looking after me and I'm sure we'll get a chance to speak later."
Thomas glanced worriedly at Jimmy before offering a tight smile and setting off upstairs.
…
Breakfast was a somewhat hurried affair with everyone coming and going at various intervals with all the extra work to be done. Thankfully there wasn't much for the footmen to do until that evening when they would have to set up the dining room and so Mrs Hughes had told James and Alfred they could take two hours off as thanks for having to get up earlier than usual. Though Jimmy would never have admitted it he would have preferred to have been kept busy rather then have to sit alone for two hours in his room with little chance of sleep or rest.
Nonetheless he rose from the table to show Freddie to his room thinking that maybe he could play solitaire to pass the time. Freddie followed him upstairs to the male servants' quarters and thanked Jimmy when he indicated which room he'd be staying in.
As Jimmy turned to leave Freddie reached out a hand to stop him.
"Do you want to come in for a bit? Lord Cartwright won't need me 'til this afternoon."
"Sure" shrugged Jimmy before wearily following the valet inside.
"Right" said Freddie sitting down heavily on the bed and patting the space beside him indicating that Jimmy should do the same. "Sit down and tell me all about it."
Rather than sit next to Freddie on the bed, which felt far too intimate for Jimmy's liking, he dragged the desk chair next to the bed and flopped down into that. He then proceeded to tell the valet the whole story from accidentally catching them in the wine cellar right up to their exchange the previous night.
Freddie let out a low whistle when Jimmy had finished.
"Wow you have an eventful few weeks. So what are you going to do now?"
Jimmy felt his shoulders slump.
"I don't know. I was hoping you could help me with that."
Freddie blinked in surprise. "Me? Shouldn't you talk to Thomas about this?"
"I can't" said Jimmy, shaking his head for emphasis, "I can't talk to him until I know what I want".
"Well, what do you want?"
"I don't know!" said jimmy running his hands over his face in exasperation. "I mean, I like Thomas" Jimmy could feel himself blush as he admitted as much, "but, I don't know if I can handle It all."
"Handle what?" asked Freddie in confusion.
"You know. For starters it's illegal so it would always have to be a secret. I could never get married or have children. Plus there's the… you know"
"What" asked Freddie genuinely bewildered.
"Well the… the physical side of it" said Jimmy feeling as though his whole body had been plunged in to hot water.
Freddie stared at Jimmy for a moment before he suddenly burst out laughing.
"I'm sorry!" he choked as he caught sight of Jimmy's expression. "I just wasn't expecting that."
Jimmy stood up "well I'm glad you find it funny" he said hotly "because it hasn't been much fun for me!"
Freddie sobered and grimaced apologetically at the younger man. "You're right and I'm sorry for laughing. Just sit back down and let me think a minute".
Jimmy sat back down and watched as Freddie drummed his fingers on his knee.
"Well, as for the secrecy part, it doesn't have to be a secret from everybody. I'd know for a start so that's something. And to be honest personally I'd rather have to hide how I feel then be false to myself and marry some girl. Better to have love then to have marriage. Just because you can't marry Thomas doesn't mean you can't have everything else marriage could offer".
Freddie smirked "Which brings us to the ah, physical side of things, it's normal to be nervous but I wouldn't let that hold you back. You never know, you might just enjoy it."
Jimmy blushed at Freddie's grin unsure of how to respond.
"Why don't you think about it and if you want we can talk later. I'm here for the next few days so there's no rush."
Sensing he was being dismissed Jimmy stood up and Freddie followed him to the door. The pair exited together and Jimmy turned to face the valet.
"Thanks" he offered awkwardly.
"Don't mention it. I best go and unpack for his lordship."
"Do you know the way?" asked jimmy somewhat guiltily. After all he was supposed to be showing the man around.
"I'll find it."
Jimmy nodded and walked to his room glancing back before going inside and shutting the door.
Freddie turned and headed for the stairs only to find Thomas standing at the top of them staring suspiciously at Freddie.
"Lord Cartwright is looking for you. He wanted to know why you hadn't unpacked for him but I told him you were mending a tear in his dinner jacket."
"Thanks for that. He can be a right pain sometimes." Said Freddie smiling at the under butler.
Thomas however did not return his smile and instead narrowed his eyes. "What have you been up to all this time?"
"I've just been in my room."
"Alone?"
Freddie raised his eyebrow at the under butler's tone. "No. I was with Jimmy."
He quickly regretted his choice of words as he saw a shadow of hurt cross Thomas's face. He sighed and tried to placate him.
"He's just confused Thomas. He needs someone to talk to."
"And he can't talk to me?"
"He will. Just give it time."
…..
That evening Lord Grantham had set up a card game for the men staying in the house while the women were away at Lady Edith's newspaper party. Thomas knew the game would last well into the night during which time he would be expected to keep the cigars lit and the drinks flowing. It was sure to be a long night and not wanting to make it more painful than necessary he had given the footmen the night off so at least he wouldn't have to deal with Jimmy trying to avoid his gaze.
Having been given time off for the second time that day Jimmy decided to take advantage of his good fortune.
"Do you want to go to the pub Alfred?"
"Why"
Jimmy rolled his eyes already regretting asking. "Why do you think? For a drink of course!"
"I don't think so. Ivy said I could help her with her prep work for tomorrow."
Jimmy shook his head in dismay.
"I'll go with you" said Freddie.
Jimmy hesitated "don't you have to be back to dress Lord Cartwright?"
"Well yes but I have time for one at least. They won't be finished for ages."
The two set off for the Grantham Arms and settled into a corner booth. The pub was thinly populated with only six other patrons scattered about the room.
Jimmy was nervous about being out in public with Freddie and tried to remind himself that no one else would find it suspicious that two men were drinking together.
He calmed his nerves by downing his drink and ordering another round before Freddie had even taken so much as a sip of his.
"Whoa steady on! If I didn't know any better I'd say you were trying to get me drunk."
Jimmy's face fell as he remembered Thomas uttering those same words.
Freddie noticed Jimmy's change in mood and so downed his own pint and smacked his lips together noisily.
"There, now we're even."
The pair continued to match each other pint for pint over the next few hours with the result that when they finally staggered out of the pub they were both considerably tipsy. They began the short walk back home which took longer than usual because of their inebriated state.
"When did you know?" asked Jimmy suddenly just as the abbey came into view.
Understanding the question Freddie shrugged. "I don't know. I always knew I was different." He reconsidered "when I was fourteen I guess. I'd just gotten a job as a hall boy on a big estate in Wales, bigger then Downton. There were three footmen and about six hall boys. One night I was in the boot room when the second footman, Arthur, came in. We got to talking and before I knew it he'd kissed me. I'd never kissed anyone before then but over the next four years we did a lot more than just kiss." Freddie smiled at the memory.
"What happened?"
"He got a job as a valet in another house. We wrote for a while but then we lost touch."
"Do you miss him?"
Freddie thought for a moment. "Not really. I think about him sometimes but I've had other men come into my life since then."
"Like Thomas?" asked Jimmy.
Freddie grinned "Sure. There's nothing wrong with having a bit of fun, Jimmy. Is there?"
"I guess not."
Freddie stopped walking as they approached the yard and turned Jimmy around to face him.
"Then what are you so afraid of?"
Jimmy bit his lip and looked down at the cigarette butts littering the ground.
"Because it's not just fun with Thomas. What if we do something and I change my mind? Or what if I'm not really like that and I can't…" Jimmy shook his head helplessly. "I can't risk it until I'm certain."
Freddie grasped Jimmy's hand and pulled him into the shadow of the tool shed.
"What are you doing?" Asked Jimmy in surprise.
Freddie firmly pressed Jimmy into the brick wall of the shed. "I'm going to kiss you."
Before Jimmy could object Freddie had crushed his lips to Jimmy's. The effect was instantaneous. Jimmy felt himself melt under the valet's touch. He placed his hands lightly on the other man's hips pulling him closer.
Freddie broke away with a look of triumph in his eyes. "There! You can't deny you enjoyed that."
Jimmy had to agree but he had also enjoyed kissing Thomas.
"I'm not denying it but it wasn't kissing I'd had a problem with."
Jimmy felt himself blush at what his words had implied. He tried to push Freddie away but the valet held him pinned against the wall.
"What exactly was it you had a problem with?"
Jimmy stuttered until Freddie silenced him with another kiss.
"Relax Jimmy. We're not going to do anything you don't want to. Just think of it as one friend helping another. We are friends aren't we?"
Jimmy nodded mutely.
"Well then let me help you". He ran his hand down Jimmy's chest coming to rest just above the waistband to his trousers. "You can always tell me to stop."
Jimmy felt his breathing hitch as he took a deep breath and nodded in agreement.
Freddie's hand continued to stroke up and down Jimmy's chest and at every stroke he came closer to dipping below Jimmy's waistband.
"I know you saw us in the cellar, but there are other things two men can do."
"I know" gasped jimmy.
When Freddie raised his eyebrow in question Jimmy continued
"I saw you at the fair in Ripon".
Freddie's hand suddenly slipped lower and began to undo the buttons on Jimmy's trousers.
"Did you? What did you see?"
He finished unbuttoning and rested his hand against Jimmy's bulge.
"I saw you… together" gasped Jimmy.
Freddie began to rub his hand against the outside of Jimmy's underwear.
"What were we doing?"
Jimmy struggled to find his voice has he became increasingly aroused.
"You were kissing. You were kissing and then… Thomas got on his knees."
Freddie reached into Jimmy's underwear and pulled out his cock. He ran his thumb over the tip which was already wet and began to stroke with agonizing slowness.
"What did Thomas do?"
"He took out your… and he started stroking it".
"Is that all?"
Freddie's strokes suddenly began to increase in tempo so much so that Jimmy found himself grasping the front of the valet's jacket just to remain upright.
"No. He… he put it in his mouth
Jimmy's breathing was now ragged as he felt himself get close.
"How did you feel watching him?"
Jimmy closed his eyes tightly as he drew up the memory.
"I was… I wanted him to do that to me. So I started… touching myself…and imagining it was him."
"What did you want him to do?"
Jimmy began to thrust his hips to meet Freddie's strokes as he got closer and closer.
"I… I wanted him… I wanted him to touch me. To… suck me. To feel his mouth on me…"
Jimmy let out a loud moan as he finally went over the edge and came hard.
He lay with his head pressed into Freddie's shoulder as his body shook with the aftershocks of his orgasm.
When Jimmy finally pulled away Freddie reached into his pocket and withdrew a handkerchief to clean himself off while Jimmy buttoned up his trousers.
"Come on" said Freddie "we better get inside before they send out a search party."
The pair wandered into the servants' hall empty except for Mr Bates who was reading a newspaper.
"They still playing?" asked Freddie.
Bates nodded in reply. "If they don't finish soon we'll be dressing them for breakfast not for bed."
Freddie settled down across from Bates and sighed as he picked up an abandoned deck of cards and began shuffling.
"I'm off to bed" said Jimmy to no one in particular. But the two valets wished him goodnight all the same.
Jimmy skipped up the stairs and briefly considered knocking on Thomas's door before he remembered the under butler was still serving drinks downstairs. He sighed and reasoned he would only have to wait until morning to speak to him. After he had undressed and washed Jimmy settled into bed and shut his eyes thinking morning could not come soon enough.