Chapter 31: So Tired

She went around checking the locks and closing the blinds and curtains. She looked over at Emma who was sitting on the floor with her woobie to her nose and her thumb in her mouth. She could see her daughter was over tired and Jules was shocked that she wasn't sleeping. It was way past her bedtime and still she wasn't asleep.

"Come on, Emmy, you need to go to sleep, it's late!" she explained when Emma refused to go to bed.

"NO! No, no , no! I NOT!" she frowned and stared at her mother angrily.

"Honey, you're tired, let's go, right now!" Jules told her sternly.

"Not without my daddy!" she argued, "he needs to sleep in dat bed wif me," she frowned and stood up.

Jules gulped. She hadn't expected those words from her baby.

"Em, listen…"

"NO! I want Daddy to take me! He lays down with me, he does dat…I want him to now!" she demanded.

"Don't be fresh, Emma, talk nicely to Mommy…Mommy understands. I'm listening," Jules tried to calm her when she saw the tears brimming in Emma's eyes.

"I want Daddy! I want Daddy to lay down wit me! I not sleepin! I not gonna!" she said with the tears tipping over the brims of her eyes and rolling down her cheeks.

"Em, please, please don't do this," Jules felt her own tears…the ones she had been trying to hide from her daughter for weeks and weeks now.

Down to the floor Emma went. She was kicking her feet and throwing a tantrum. Jules knew her daughter was tired but she also knew it was her frustration of not understanding why her daddy wasn't home anymore.

Jules looked over at the clock on the wall. It was half past nine. She normally would never give in to her little girl's tantrums but this was different. This was something that Emma really deserved to do. She earned it. She had been so good about all of this confusion.

Jules bit her bottom lip nervously and walked over to the phone that was tossed haphazardly on the couch. Nick hated when she did that because he said he could never find the phone when it sunk into the cushions. But, she had been talking to his sister Lynn and she just had no energy to put it back in the charger after their emotional conversation.

Jules hit the speed dial to Nick's cell phone and held her breath as it rang twice before he picked it up.

Nick's heart jumped when he saw his home number glow on his phone.

"Jules?" he answered using her name instead of his last name as he usually does.

"Hey, Nick, um," she began calmly.

Nick could hear his daughter screaming and carrying on in the background.

"Whoa, what's up with Em?" he asked, "she having a meltdown?"

"Oh yeah…" she groaned, "she is Out. Of. Control right now," she stressed the "out of control" statement.

"Why? Oh wow, it's late for her to be up," he said looking at his watch knowing she was overtired.

'Nick, she is crying for…" she swallowed back the tightness in her throat before beginning again,"…she is crying for you."

He blew the air from his lung, and rubbed his forehead, squeezing his eyes shut from the hurt.

"Can I come over?" he asked.

"Would you? I think you need to," she admitted.

"I will be right there. Tell her I will be right there," he said adamantly.

And he was. He tore out of the parking lot of the pizzeria he was just about to go into before the phone rang. He planned on grabbing a pizza but suddenly he wasn't hungry anymore even though he hadn't eaten all day.

Jules was holding Emma on her hip in front of the window when Nick pulled into their driveway. He could see their images looking out. He was a little disheveled in his navy blue Texas A&M sweatpants and the Cowboys t-shirt Jules had bought him while they were in Texas. He had been sleeping earlier and never bothered to change. He wasn't going anywhere anyway. He didn't do much of anything on his days off anymore. He just didn't have any motivation to do anything.

Jules opened the door immediately when she saw him walking up the walkway.

"See, Mommy told you Daddy was coming! See here he is!" she pointed.

Emma smiled but her breath still shook from crying so hard.

"Aww, there's my pretty girl, what's the matter, honey?" he said as she leaned over out of her mother's arms and into Nick's.

He hugged her and she put her head on his shoulder and her thumb in her mouth.

"She is soooo tired," Nick mouthed to Jules; Jules nodded and mouthed back, "I know!"

"Daddy's here, Sweet Pea, Daddy's here…no more crying, okay?" he whispered and rubbed her back.

Emma nodded, sucking in the shaking breath caused from her sobs. She took her thumb out of her mouth and without picking her head up off her father's shoulder she asked him to lie down with her.

"You sleep next to me in the big bed?" she mumbled tiredly.

Nick looked at Jules and she nodded to him. He stroked Emma's head and told her he would.

Emma's eyes began to droop just from the peacefulness of being in her father's arms. Nick choked back the lump in his throat.

He carried his baby up the stairs and placed her under the covers. He crawled in next to her and held her in his arms. He was so glad he was with her, he thought quietly as he hugged her tightly.

Jules leaned against the door frame and felt tears roll down her face. She was glad Nick couldn't see them and she wiped them away quickly. She loved seeing them together. It seemed like all was right with the world again seeing him in their bed. Seeing him in their bed, with their daughter, made her weaken. Just the sight of them made her feel the love for him that she has desperately been trying to push down. It flooded up again and this time she couldn't contain it.

Jules wasn't sure what made her do it, but she found herself walking to the other side of the bed and crawl in too. She draped her arm over Emma and it rested near Nick's arm. She didn't mean to touch him but she felt his arm against the side of her hand and forearm.

They stared at each other without lifting their heads from the pillows.

Jules didn't even realize she fell asleep until she woke up startled. She felt Nick slink out of bed and she sat up to see him walking toward the hall. "He's leaving," she thought and it made her sick.

Once again, without thinking, she jumped out of the bed and scurried toward him. She didn't want to yell over to him because she was sure she would wake Emma. Nick was startled when she grabbed his arm.

"You're leaving?" she said trying to hide her panic.

"No, I was going to go sneak something to eat," he squished his face hoping she wouldn't be mad.

"I'll come with you," she said feeling very clingy. Nick was glad and he gave a faint smile.

Together they walked down the flight of stairs and into the kitchen.

Nick went to the refrigerator and was leaning in and looking at the selection when Jules came up behind him. She rubbed his back and he turned around to find her directly behind him with tears in her eyes.

He stared at her and she stared back. They stood there with the door open; standing in the light of the refrigerator.

"It hurts so bad, Nicky," she said as her lip quivered.

Nick reached out and pulled her into his chest. She let her head press into him.

She spoke to him with her face on his chest…she didn't look up.

"I didn't know that man. I accidentally bumped into him trying to run from you," she whispered.

"I didn't know," he admitted.

"I wouldn't lie to you about something like that," she told him.

He kissed the top of her head and squeezed her tighter, pushing her head into his chest deeper.

"I miss you every second of every day…literally. I am so serious. Every second," he confessed.

"Me too, I hate to admit it but it's true," she whispered and looked up at him with her chin on his chest.

Nick leaned in. He didn't ask. He didn't realize he would do it, but he leaned down and kissed her softly.

Jules felt herself melt into his kiss. She felt her body go weak. She kissed him back with the same tenderness.

Nick brought his hands up to her face and held it with both hands as he kissed her. She kept her arms wrapped completely around his chest.

Neither one of them was sure how long they kissed in front of the open refrigerator door but finally Nick moved forward and closed it with his shoulder without breaking away from her kiss. Jules felt the cold on his back and knew he didn't care.

He moved her backwards all the way into the Family Room and to the couch. They fell onto it's cushions together. There were no words spoken but Jules could feel his hard-on pressing against her. She knew how much he wanted her…she wanted him equally as bad.

Jules made the first move again, she slid her hands to the sides of his sweatpants and slid them down. He pushed up her silk, slip nightgown and pulled her panties down. Nick knew she wouldn't be wearing a thong…she never did to bed.

Nick moved his lips down her face and onto her neck. Jules moved her head into his neck and sucked it gently. She could smell the scent of soap on his skin.

Nick was so turned on by her sucking his neck that he couldn't contain himself. He wanted to ask her if she was okay with this but the sucking on his neck and her fingers caressing his back gave him a pretty good indication that she was on board. He was especially surprised when he felt her reach down, grab his hard dick and guide it inside her.

The feeling of being inside her made his body go numb. It was beyond words. She gasped as he entered her and he felt how wet she was and yet so tight. He moved in and out of her with desire, passion and an immense love in his heart for her. She moved her hands up under his shirt and dragged her fingers all over his back.

Nick had one arm under the small of her back and the other hand on the side of her head with his fingers in her long, blond hair as he moved with seductive motion. Jules moaned with each gentle thrust he gave her. Nick couldn't take the sound of her moan in his ear and he could feel himself wanting to cum already. He tried to hold on and hold back but it was too late he groaned loudly and came so hard he felt his buddy go crumble on top of her. They lay there a few minutes before Nick lifted his head and looked down at her. He was afraid to look; afraid to see if she was crying again. She wasn't. She leaned up and kissed him tenderly. They kissed for quite a while before he slowly moved over her again and inserted his quickly hardened cock inside her yet again. She didn't even realize he was hard again so it took her by surprise. It was a nice surprise. She groaned loudly.

Jules gripped his back and this time reached the bottom of his T-shirt and pulled it up over his head, giving her better access to his skin. As they kissed Jules leaned upward to a sitting position and pushed Nick up with her. She straddled him and he lifted her nightgown up over her head too. His mouth went directly for her breasts while she took his cock and placed it inside her yet again. She wrapped both her arms completely around his head and buried her face into his shoulder as she slid down onto him. She sucked her way up to his neck and purposely moaned in his ear and she rocked on him back and forth.

Nick was crazy in love with her and their passion was so strong it could be felt in the air. He heard the words from her lips that he had needed, wanted, prayed for and it made him want to cry.

"I love you so much, Nicky, so much that it is unstoppable. There is no way to shut it off…it's forever," she whispered directly into his ear, her lips grazing his earlobe. "I'm tired, Nick. I'm tired of hiding it...I'm tired of fighting it...I am just so tired of denying it."

Nick grabbed her hips and rocked her harder and faster. He wanted to feel himself inside her, as deep as he could, to be consumed by her. Jules threw her head back from the pleasure he was giving her and he reached one hand up, wrapped it into her hair before dragging it over to her mouth. She kissed his thumb and he stuck it into her mouth, wetting it thoroughly. He brought the soaked thumb down and rubbed it over her nipple as he leaned in and began to suck her neck. It was intense for Jules. Besides the heated desire she had for him it was the love in her whole body that made her shutter with emotion.

Jules felt herself quiver and move faster. The faster she moved, the harder he sucked. She pushed his head harder into her neck. She loved the feeling of his sucking it and she wanted it harder. The more he sucked the more pleasure shot throughout her body. She felt the wave of an explosive orgasm consume her and her walls clamp down hard on his cock, pulsating it tightly. He felt her coming and that made him even hotter, and he felt himself work himself up to the point where he couldn't hold back either. Nick sucked her neck hard as he came again inside her.

The two of them moaned and groaned loudly. So loud they were afraid they would wake Emma but logically they knew she was upstairs and sound asleep. They had been loud in the past and she never woke up and that was when she was only down the hall. No, they were safe to be as loud as they wanted and grabbing onto one another for dear life…they continued to call out each other's names with irresistible passion.

The two were intertwined on the couch in their Den completely weakened and sweaty. They rested their foreheads together and breathed each others air. Nick caressing her back up and down before sliding his hands up, holding the side of her face and kissing her gently.

"This feels too right to be wrong, Cowboy," she whispered to him.

Hearing her call him "Cowboy" again made tears brim his eyes.

She looked into his eyes and told him the truth.

"I still love you, Cowboy, I swear I always will," she confessed.

"That's all I needed to hear, Sunshine..." he whispered as his voice cracked.

Nick grabbed her by the waist and lifted her off of him, placing her back onto the couch. He covered her with his naked body yet again.

She smirked at him. It was the first time she smiled at him in a long, long time.

"You're hard again, aren't you," she raised her eyebrow.

Nick didn't answer...he slid his hard cock inside her and they made love again with a tenderness that was bittersweet. Nick wasn't sure if this would last. He knew they had a lot of work ahead of them, but he also knew it was what they needed at that moment...and they could work through anything as long as she stood beside him.