I don't own CSI. Rated T

Well, glad I shocked most of you with the Nick and Jules intimate moment.

Here is the continuation of the night...

We can't have a "happily ever after" this early...it would make no sense...

AND my story would be over; you wouldn't want that now, would ya?

*Please review*

The moonlight tried to creep through the blinds and highlight their naked bodies as Jules drifted off to sleep in Nick's arms. She hadn't slept this well in a long, long, time. She spent most nights crying herself to sleep and begging God to make the pain go away. She spend most nights waking up in the middle of the night and walking around aimlessly in the dark unable to sleep. But tonight, she slept like a baby. She didn't wake up in a cold sweat, she didn't cry herself to sleep…instead she drifted off to sleep feeling safe and loved again.

Nick didn't fall asleep. He was afraid to. He didn't want to wake up and find her gone. He didn't want to stop looking at her. He watched her sleep and traced her features with his eyes. He loved her so much it hurt inside. He couldn't imagine life without this woman. He would never be whole without her. A piece of himself would forever be missing. Nick wasn't sure how long this moment would last so he refused to let himself sleep. He didn't know if she would wake up and change her mind and say she was sorry. "Oh God, please don't let her say she is sorry," he thought silently. He couldn't bear it if she said she was sorry.

He wasn't expecting everything to go back to the way things were; he knew she would never let him back into the house right now. He knew her. And he knew she needed him tonight. She didn't want to forget what it felt like to be loved by him. She needed him to keep breathing… and he felt the same way.

Nick slipped off her gently. He didn't want to wake her yet but he knew if he fell asleep they could very well be laying naked on the couch in the morning and possibly having their daughter finding them in that position. Nick shuddered at that image. He grabbed his clothes off the floor and put them on.

Nick walked back over to the couch and sat on the edge of it staring down at her beautiful face. She had the face of an angel. He leaned over and kissed her on her soft lips gently; just light enough to not wake her. He rubbed his nose on hers softly and kissed her forehead lightly before sitting back up.

Nick looked at his watch and saw it was just after 1:00 in the morning. He wondered if he should stay the night or if that would give Emma mixed messages. He chewed the inside of his cheek and stared straight ahead as he thought about what to do. He suddenly felt her gentle hand rub his back. He looked over at her surprised.

"What are you thinking about, Texas?" she whispered.

Nick's heart leaped when he heard her call him by the other nickname she used to call him.

"I was thinking," he said and leaned in and kissed her lips before continuing, "I was thinking if I should leave now, before I fall asleep and wake up here and confuse Emma completely."

"Yeah, I think you are right," she nodded and kept her palm on his back still rubbing it gently, " you should probably go."

"Are you sorry?" he whispered and looked down, afraid of her answer, "are you sorry we…"

"No," she said reaching over and touching his face.

Nick sighed a huge sigh of relief.

"I can't have you back though, not now…not yet…We have a lot to figure out and I couldn't take another heartache," she informed him.

Nick nodded.

"AND you're afraid to tell your brother, aren't you?" he squinted his eyes and tilted his head slightly at her.

Jules bit her bottom lip.

"Um, and Trista…and Nat…," she said before pausing, "Not Brett…he'd find it incredibly romantic," she smiled wide trying to lighten the mood.

Nick didn't smile back. He was worried. Worried everything would go back to heartache now.

"You won't let what they think influence you, will you?" he asked worriedly. "You won't let Warrick stand in the way?"

"No one tells me what to think or feel, Nicky, you should know that about me by now," she said, "We've jumped through hoops before…what's another horse and pony show?"

The two of them laughed quietly.

"But…" she paused and turned his face so she could look him deep in the eyes.

Nick cut her off before she could speak because he knew her doubts were creeping in. He knew they would and he couldn't blame her, but he just wished she could believe him.

"I promise you, if you let me back in, Honey…," he begged quietly.

Nick stares at her. Jules stares at him.

"Listen…listen to me, Nick,…" she began and scooted up a bit on the couch.

Nick listened closely.

"If…" she paused, "…if you can promise me you did not sleep with her - that you didn't have this whole attraction thing, got drunk, and went wild…. IF you can promise me that, Nicky, I promise you I will believe you and I won't care what anyone says. If YOU can promise me that… I will stand by you."

Nick knew that if he promised her it would make everything better. He knew she would stand by him and believe him if she heard him promise. Jules would trust him and never doubt him if he promised her.

But he couldn't promise her what he didn't know for sure…what he didn't know himself. He would have sworn he didn't hook up with Brooke at all if he hadn't seen the pictures that showed otherwise. Nick wanted to lie to her but he couldn't…he would never do that.

Instead, he looked away from her eyes. He couldn't look at her. He put his head down and felt his heart sink to the floor.

He knew once he told her he couldn't promise that this incredible night would be over. He knew she would have no choice but to regroup and hardener herself once again to be able to go on, even if she didn't want to.

"You can't, can you?" her voice cracked hoping he was able to promise her. She would have trusted his promise simply because it came from HIM.

"I can promise you I don't remember," he whispered while looking down. "I can also promise you there was never an attraction that you are talking about… But, no, I can't promise you that I didn't…"

"Oh God, Nickkkky…" she sighed loudly and looked up at the ceiling, "I won't tell you I am sorry about tonight…I can't tell you I am sorry because I'm not, but… I don't want to give you false hope either, Nick."

The words "false hope" stung him just as bad as the word 'sorry".

He nodded.

"I will always love you, Nick," she said, "but that doesn't mean I can believe in you anymore…believe in us anymore," she heard the words come from her lips but she knew she couldn't possibly mean them.

She was just too afraid to let him in anymore than she already had.

Nick reached out and touched her face. She leaned against his palm with her cheek and closed her eyes.

"I will not promise you until I am sure. I will be honest with you no matter what," he whispered.

"If you did, Nick…If Brooke is telling the truth…," she couldn't finish her sentence.

Nick sucked in a huge breath and nodded.

"Maybe you should go, Nick." she held his hand to her face, "Let's just hold on to tonight, and let tomorrow take care of itself," she said looking at him, "We'll just keep this between us. It was our night.

Nick couldn't speak so he just nodded and stood up. As he leaned down and picked up her nightgown, he handed it to her, and shook his head.

"I won't give up on us, Babe," he whispered staring at her.

Jules sat up completely, slipped on her nightgown, and stood up in front of him.

"What if we have to, Nicky?," she looked down at their feet.

Nick reaches out and lifts her by the chin to look at him.

"Never happen, Sunshine," he shook his head.

Jules closed her eyes a minute, took a deep breath and a couple steps back from him.

"Nick, sometimes, in real life…love doesn't conquer all. Just because I love you, doesn't mean I can give you my heart again," she gave him sorrowful look.

The two of them said nothing but their eyes spoke volumes to each other.

Finally Nick whispered softly, "I should go…I know…I should go," he looked down.

"Yeah, I think it's best," she stepped closer to him and placed her hand on his shoulder.

He looked at her and she surprised herself one last time for the night.

Jules leaned up and kissed him.

At first it was a tender kiss, but it quickly became heated.

Nick wanted to rip her clothes off again but he couldn't keep doing this "back and forth" between them. It was hurting him too…and he felt tremendous hurt that she may possibly be giving up on them. This time, Nick stepped away.

"I can't do this…not to you…not to me," he said holding her at arms length.

Jules nodded. She wasn't being fair.

"Jules…I know, I did this. I put us in this position and I know I have no right to expect anything…but this is killing me…" he looked down, "and the saddest part, the saddest part is I deserve it."

All she could do was nod and touch his hand.

Jules wondered how something as perfect as tonight could go back to the heartfelt sadness so quickly.

Silently they walked down the hall and stood in front of the door.

Nick opened the door, stepped out on the porcc and into the moonlight. He wondered if he should turn back for just one more kiss, but he didn't have that chance… the door closed behind him.

Standing on his front stoop, he stared at his front door, placed his hand on it and held it there for a moment before walking back to his truck.

Nick Stokes left his home that night wondering if that the special moment he just had with his wife may very well have been his last.

What Nick didn't know was…Jules was lying.

She was desperately lying in order to protect herself. Because she knew if she let herself, she could forgive him for everything and anything…and she was afraid to take that chance.

She knew if she told him how she really felt, he could hurt her again in the end - just as Warrick and Trista assured her would happen.

Jules couldn't tell him the truth, he could break her down with just his smile…just like he did tonight. It wasn't his fault…it was hers…she just couldn't resist him.

She wasn't sure she was doing the right thing. She just didn't know what else to do to protect her heart in the long run. Jules leaned her back against the front door and took a deep breath. She felt the tears fill her eyes once again. She wanted to run after him and tell him he had her heart, and always would. She wanted to run to tell him she wants him to stay but is just so terrified.

Instead, she went up to her sleeping daughter.

Crawling into bed with her, she grabbed the pillow Nick had been resting on. She could smell him and she wanted that. She held it close to her; she felt like he was still in her arms. And that alone, made her drift off to sleep.