Preface: Note, please, that for this story, the recent chapters of Naruto took place in September, and that there is a decent timeskip between last chapter and this one. Of one month, like the skip between chapters one and two.
Trust me, you'll get this joke if you've watched some of the more recent seasons of Power Rangers... Or any of them....
/
The Wardens, all six of them, were now engaged in an epic struggle against an evil force that can (and has in the past) destroy entire universes.
Yes, they were all trying to escape from a crowd of fans that had appeared shortly after they destroyed the most recent monster, which had looked somewhat like a giant tree with arms and legs.
Yes, all of their enemies are plant based for now. They're made by Zetsu, dammit!
Anyway, the Konoha Wardens were fleeing from fans who were asking all sorts of inane questions- 'Who are you really?', 'why do you smell like dog, red warden?', 'how do you get your hair to be so beautiful, pink- I mean purple, warden?', and so forth- when they were warped back to the command center.
"Thanks for the save." Naruto said as the group de-morphed in the secure location, wiping off their foreheads.
"Save? There's another monster attack over there. And there. And there." The Shodarm said, indicating several locations on the scrying device. In one, a giant pitcher plant was terrorizing a village, ruining buildings. In the next, a large, green, humanoid creature covered with odd discolorations was calmly pacing in a huge open area as a pair of large (human sized) cocoons pulsed behind it. The final one was the most odd of all of them. It was a shark-man, who was in the ocean near a coastal village, wrecking havoc on the boats docked near it.
"Three? This soon after the last one?" Shikamaru asked, looking at the crystal ball that was being used for scouting purposes, to see all three monsters. "That's odd..."
"So what are you six going to do?"
"...Shikamaru, any ideas?"
"Hm... Well, all of us taking them out one by one would be most efficient, but the way that they're spread, I'm pretty sure that we won't be able to get all three..."
"So we split up."
"Yes. Seeing as the one with the cocoons is roughly in the middle, I suggest that you and Hinata head there and then split up and head to help the rest of us after you finish it. Ino, you and Kiba head over to the pitcher plant one. Lee, you're with me against the shark."
"Right. HENSHIN!" Naruto replied, suddenly yelling the final part.
"HENSHIN!" The rest yelled, transforming and teleporting away in the usual swirl.
"Odd... I feel something familiar about the green thing...." The Shodarm trailed off, after its minions had left.
"Oh, well."
\
Arriving at the pitcher plant, Ino and Kiba smirked as it jumped around like a fool.
"Dohoho!" It chuckled as it spat acid at another building, only for it to be blocked.
"Not so fast, plant boy." Ino said, dropping the makeshift shield she had picked up as it began to bubble. "Time for a pruning."
"Leaf Wardens? Only two of you? Dohoho! This'll be easy!" The monster replied, sending another blast of acid at them.
"Get over yourself. We're the only ones needed to deal with you!" Kiba retorted, his gloves shifting to the claws that he gained as a weapon.
/
"Ah, that green menace's student." The shark-man said, turning towards the two Wardens who had appeared to challenge him. "This'll be fun."
"I'm sorry." Lee replied in a confused tone. "I did not know that Master Guy knew any monsters."
"...Lee, you do know that you basically revealed you identity, don't you?" Shikamaru asked, a sweatdrop forming on the back of his helmet.
"So you two think I'm one of that plant freak's monsters, do you?" Kisame (for that was who the shark-man was) asked, a grin appearing on his face. "And I bet you don't know what's in those cocoons that my buddy's guarding."
"Yosh! But you shall tell us! For we are the forces of light and justice!"
"Funny you should mention 'light and justice' about those two..."
\
The green creature was being held down by a copy of Naruto (in costume, of course).
"Man, this is pitiful." He said as he watched the monster struggle hopelessly against his clone.
"I-I agree." Hinata replied, suddenly looking at the cocoons nervously.
"What is it?"
"Whatever's in it is moving."
"You can't tell what it is?"
"Somehow the o-outer layer is blocking my vision."
As this was said, a black hand crushed the shell of one of the two cocoons from the inside, allowing a clear view at last.
"O-oh." Hinata said, recoiling suddenly as she got her first glimpse of the thing inside one of the defensive layers.
"What?"
"Whatever's in there is... W-wearing something almost exactly like what you're wearing..."
At this, there was a loud poof, as Naruto's clone was dispersed by the monster it was holding down.
"Excellent!" The creature laughed, raising its' limbs to the heavens. "Phase two is done!"
"ingaging teh l33t h4x0r m0d3 ." It continued, the 'discolorations' on its skin suddenly splitting to reveal...
Sharingan. Lots of 'em, all over.
The two Wardens suddenly were back to back, one with a blade drawn and aimed at the monster, the other a staff, aimed at the creature destroying the shell covering it.
Then the second cocoon cracked, drawing the staff's aim to it as half of it suddenly flew far higher than might have been expected.
And then a blade was nearly at the throat of Konoha Purple, being held by what could be considered a palette swap of Konoha Orange, with the mask changed significantly.
Where Naruto's costume was orange, this one was wearing black, and where Naruto had black armor, this one had blood red armor. Instead of a Kabuki inspired mask, it wore a smooth black helmet, with five ripple like circles of the same color of red on it, red tomoe at three differing points on each circle, with two placed to make wonderful eyeholes.
"Hello." It said in a cool, arrogant, and distinctly male voice, before the blade at Hinata's throat was suddenly pulled back and thrust forwards.
There was the (expected) clattering noise of a blade parrying it, and the orange Warden was facing his foe.
"Hm..." He said, looking up and down his enemy.
"Hinata," Naruto said quietly, looking at the dark pink hand that had punched through the other cocoon. "Get the others. I'll hold him off."
"W-what?"
"So, she hasn't changed." The figure in black said calmly. "And neither have you, with your hero complex."
"Go! Now!"
At that, the two armored figures suddenly blurred towards each other, blades clashing loudly and dramatically, before bouncing away and starting a long sideways running battle towards a long river in a mountain range. Yes, that mountain range
/
Back at the command center...
"That's it! It's made out of a lot of Sharingan!" The mutated tree said, finally realizing the monster's uniqueness.
"Dog-boy, blondie." It called to the crystal sphere, currently aimed at the first monster. "I'm about to teleport you over to help whiskers and dark and meek. They've.... run into some trouble."
With the monster defeated, both Ino and Kiba nodded, ready for the sudden teleport that caught them as they did so.
\
Elsewhere, an old man wearing an orange mask with a swirl pattern chuckled as he watched the battle moving very rapidly towards a certain valley.
"Ah, to be young again, and to have my old rival around to beat up." He said wistfully, watching an unfortunate tree that got between the spandex wearing combatants get completely destroyed.
And by 'got between them' I mean 'was there at the wrong time'.
"Lucky brats. They're too young to know how they'll both be missing the old days in several years." He muttered.
"And one of them already has a significant other. Before the age of thirty... He'll never be as great a ninja as Hashirama was at that quick rate... Nowhere near enough problems on the romance front..." He continued in the mutter, before vanishing to get a front row seat for the ensuing fight.
/
Kisame was wounded, surprisingly, and backing off.
"Well, it looks like you won this round, blasted beast, but next time..." He said, suddenly exploding in water.
"Wardens!" The Shodarm's disembodied voice boomed as the aftershock ended. "You must go help Red and Yellow against the Eye Hoard!"
"'Eye Hoard'?"
"Just go."
The ever familiar warp that the Wardens were rapidly becoming accustomed to appeared around the two of them, and they felt themselves being dragged to the battle field where two Wardens faced off against a lone monster.
\
In another direction, dark pink and purple blurs clashed destructively, one throwing trees, the other dodging and making brief and weak attacks with a staff.
Pausing mid throw we see the dark pink blur is, in fact, wearing dark pink version of the female Leaf Warden uniform, with a mask that was smooth, with an inverted heart shaped black visor.
Unpausing, we see the tree being held by it being thrown at the tree that the purple shape was standing on, destroying it and forcing the magical-girl-like Warden to the ground.
Performing a ground slide, she suddenly was in the face of her opponent, rapid strikes from the staff and several kicks striking the poor person clad in pink spandex's limbs.
/
In a very... Dramatic valley, the Orange Oath Konoha Warden faced off against the first being to break a cocoon, each standing on (you guessed it) the head of a giant statue.
"So," The black and red clad figure said, cutting the silence with ease. "You've been busy."
"HELL YEAH!" His foe retorted, pointing violently at him. "You aren't going to kill me without a fight!"
"So you think this is all about killing you after extracting the Kyuubi. Once an idiot, always an idiot." The Jyuubi-eye-mask wearing figure said, after a brief pause.
"OF COURSE!"
"And you aren't even going to ask how I got this outfit and associated powers..."
"You probably burned through a Sharingan for them."
"How?"
"You aren't the only one who knows someone with Sharingan to burn."
"Of course... That tree..."
A minute passed, with sounds of destruction being heard approaching.
"Give up. I don't want to have to kill you." The Orange Warden said, the sword that he had been using having vanished as he held his hand out in an offer to accept surrender.
"And give up my chance at vengeance? I think not." His opposite responded, shaking his head.
"Please..." Orange continued, his tone one of defeat.
"I have nothing more to say to you, other than this: Feel the wrath of the Uchiha!" The other retorted, his sword suddenly alit with a burning black energy.
"FINE!" The first replied, his sword appearing and begin cloaked in a spinning vortex of energy.
With that, both charged, blades clashing suddenly as they reached the apex of their jumps in the center of the valley, before the leapt off of each other and bounced down the walls to the water pooled at the base.
The orange one, landing, looked at the large gouge in his arm. As in, a semicircle of flesh and bone about an inch-and-a-half deep rent from the rest of the arm.
The black one, landing, looked at the suddenly much larger blade in his hand.
"It looks like you don't have much practice with that, Naruto." He said, looking to his foe who seemed unfazed by the wound in his arm. "And can't block. Care to surrender before you bleed to death?"
"Oh, this?" Naruto responded as his suit mended itself over his rapidly healing wound. "Nah. I got a boost to my healing abilities for my gift. You?"
"You'll find out soon enough."
\
Eye Hoard (as it was called by the Shodarm) was being beaten by the four Konoha Wardens.
That was just to sum up the situation and enable me to get back to Black Vengeance Warrior Vs. Orange Oath Warden, as well as Dark Pink (obscured by unknown means, presumably something along the lines of 'Delusional') Warrior Vs. Purple Belief Warden.
You all saw it coming from the beginning of this. Admit it.
But not all is as it seems.
/
The battle between pink and purple had slowly made its way towards an empty field, with only a few dozen giant white spikes sticking up around it.
Both landed, eyeing the other as they circled.
"Why?" The purple clad Warden asked, looking at her foe with a not small amount of anger.
"Because... I can help him... I really can!" The other responded in a tone that made it sound more like a question than a statement. "I can get him to come back! I know it!"
"Do you even know what Naruto did for the weeks after that?" The first asked again, her tone getting still angrier.
"...No...."
"He was in an angst coma! You betrayed him! He trusted you!"
"I-I didn't mean to... I thought that I could..."
The insightful and dramatic moment was cut short by a giant monster sprouting in the distance, where they had come from.
Specifically, a giant green monster covered in Sharingan.
"I don't have time to deal with you now. My friends need me." The purple wearing female said, turning back towards the giant monster as her counterpart suffered the fairly common 'Blue Screen of Death'.
She didn't notice the sudden spinning in the air around her former ally as a red circle appeared as she left the field.
\
In the ever popular valley, the two combatants were again clashing.
Note, please, that the one in black's sword had increased greatly in size, and the other one's costume had several damage marks on it that were rapidly healing.
"So you still don't learn from your mistakes." The black clad figure said, swinging the oversized sword at his foe with no apparent effort.
"Oh, I do. I just try to take advantage of the fact that you never expect..." Naruto replied, leaping over the blade with ease and making a quick hand sign in mid air.
"The unexpected!" Another copy of him finished, suddenly bursting out from the water beneath his opponent and landing a strike to the chin.
After rolling to his feet, the black clad warrior looked to his foe.
"A Shadow Clone underwater? Is that the best you've got?" He asked, standing up and cracking his neck. Suddenly, the piece of his mask covering his mask slid down, letting his mouth be visible.
A flurry of handsigns later (from both parties), and Orange had been joined by a trio of copies of himself, all of which stood perfectly still until one dispelled, while Black was spitting giant fireballs that appeared similar to dragons into the sky.
After a brief staredown, both nodded with respect to each other and finished preparing their ultimate technique.
"Kirin." The black wearing one said plainly, a bolt of lightning suddenly striking his left hand.
"Rasenshruiken." The one in orange calmly replied, his copies maintaining the structure of a giant whirring shruiken of wind.
"Hey, Sasuke, remember that old rule? About the elements?" Naruto asked, his clones dispersing suddenly as he charged forwards to attack, holding his (at least) trillion bladed attack over his head as he did so.
His foe swung his hand down, causing the expected giant bolt of lightning to arc down, impacting on the giant shruiken being carried towards him by his foe.
"Wind beats lightning!"
"I'm using the very forces of nature against you! You stand no-"
"SO! AM! I! SAGE MODE!"
'Ffffffffff-' Sasuke thought, watching his attack be destroyed in one blow and the now severely weakened Rasenshruiken flew towards him, the winds surrounding it dying down.
And then it hit, exploding in the usual violent manner of chakra contained to a small size, as there was a flash of light from around the user.
/
Meanwhile, back over near the big monster, a quintet of giant wooden robots with a vaguely humanoid shape had appeared. Roll with it. They'll be replaced by the end of chapter four.
Each mech was of a different color, though they all shared the same design- two arms, two legs, and a head bolted to a giant torso that had the leaf symbol emblazoned on it. One was red, one was blue, one was green, a fourth was yellow, and the last one was, unexpectedly, purple.
And all were currently getting bashed by the giant monster covered with Sharingan (official name, courtesy of the author, H4X0R. No, I'm not very subtle).
"T-take formation." A voice from the purple one said, the rest of the robots suddenly moving around it instead of fighting the monster.
"o rly? i get to pwn a bigger r0b0t?" The monster taunted, stepping back a little. "fun!"
"Gattai!" The five pilots all yelled, their equivalence of Zords forming differing parts of a much larger vehicle.
The green and blue robots shifted around, turning into legs with feet, while red and yellow became arms with fists. The purple one jumped into the air, spinning, before landing perfectly on the new legs, while the new arms slammed into the sides.
A flash of light later and there was a giant robot standing in front of... Where that had been a monster.
Inside, in the new main cockpit, the crew looked around in surprise.
"Hey!" The red clad one said, turning the robot's head for a better view. "Where'd it go?"
'Not there, there, or there... That leaves...' The one in blue thought, seeing the severe lack of monster around the Megazord equivalent. "Dive!"
The word had barely left his mouth when the monster impacted with the top of the robot, slamming its feet deep into the ground and immobilizing it.
"Bwahaha!" The monster laughed, a large sphere of energy gathering in its hand. "dodge my l33t h4x1/\/g ski115, n00b5!!!11!!"
Then it unleashed a blast, not dissimilar to that of four tailed Naruto, which went straight through the robot's center, leaving a gaping hole as the robot slowly slumped over.
\
Panting, a pair of demorphed ninja looked at each other across the VotE.
"So you learned- pant- a new trick. That still doesn't make you better than me, dunce." One said, more beat up looking than the other.
"That was nothing. You've barely scratched me." The other replied, a few wounds sizzling as the rain that had appeared hit the rapidly sealing skin.
"Yeah? Well the same to you." The first said again, the usual steaming sign of regeneration appearing over some of his wounds.
"That's your gift? Quick healing? I would have thought that Madara was original..." The second asked, slightly surprised sounding.
"A subpart of it. You see, I've been granted this wonderful ability, one that my brother had mastered already and hadn't used against me..."
"What?" Naruto asked, taking a defensive stance as his foe formed a single handsign.
"The Art of... RUN!" Sasuke said, suddenly turning and running away, vanishing in a Body Flicker as he reached the nearby forest.
Naruto, of course, pursued until his foe vanished.
"Damn it. Lost him again..." He muttered, turning to see a sudden flash of red light hit a giant robot, blasting through the center and causing it to fall over.
"Crap! I've gotta get-" He started, before being pulled into the transportation method of the Shodarm.
/
Reappearing in the command center, Naruto was very relieved to see that, despite several injuries, everyone else was fine.
"Hmm," The Shodarm muttered, looking at the ruined mech(s) through the crystal kept around for scrying purposes. "It must be November already."
"We just had most of our giant monster destroying weapons destroyed, and all you can say is 'it must be November'? What the hell does that even mean?!" Kiba yelled, pointing at the tree-thing.
"Well, it means that it's time for you whippersnappers to go and find some new giant robots. In a mini-series."
"...What the hell does that mean?"
"It means, boys and girls, that this thing is going to still be on for another three chapters. At least."
"...'Chapters'?" Naruto asked, confusion clear on his face.
"Ignore it. It starts spouting things about 'the readers need to see better weapons, Yamato, or this'll be discontinued and I'll never have a story written about me again' at random moments while I'm being forced to minion for it..." Yamato replied from where he was working on yet another new weapon. "Anyway, it's good to see that you're all unhurt after that."
And then he noticed the large chunk of damage to Naruto's right sleeve, where new looking flesh could be seen, and the various cuts in Naruto's normal attire all over.
"...Who did you fight that ruined your suit and made you regenerate part of your arm?"
"...I'm not saying."
"I have rank. Tell me."
"Make me."
"Make me make you."
"...Captain Yamato, that is the level of maturity that I've come to expect from Kiba, not you."
"Shut up Shikamaru. I want to watch this."
"...Troublesome teammate..."
"Make me make you make me."
"Six Pillars Sea-"
"Rasengan."
The fight was over in about two seconds.
One tried a complicated sealing technique to restrain the other. The response was weakened so as to not kill.
"Wow."
"What? That Naruto moved faster than a Mokuton technique?"
"No... That he took down Yamato in one blow. An ANBU Captain in one blow."
"I-I always told you t-that he was strong..."
"Yeah, yeah. I know exactly what you two fought to cause so much damage, so shut it."
"Wait, you know? Then tell us!"
"Let's just say that 'H4x0r' wasn't all that Madara used stockpiled Sharingan on, but he decided to mock me."
"...Dear Kami... Evil Wardens?"
"Yep. Two of them so far, probably going to be appearing for the next few chapters before one or both of them join they tunr out to be brainwashed or something."
There was silence as four out of six people thought about that.
"...Who did he choose?"
"Don't ask, Shikamaru. You don't want to know."
"Actually-"
"Don't. Ask. Him."
"...Hinata, why didn't you just stutter a little?"
"Because I'm serious. Don't ask."
"Hm... I suggests that since you are taking an enraged tone, one of them must be someone who has caused harm to Naruto in the past, probably recent, and probably female. That leaves..."
"I told you so."
"What?"
"Yeah, what?"
"...The other, I assume, is him."
"...Yeah, it is."
"...That explains the new skin on your arm, as well as the unwillingness to talk about it."
"Hey! You three! Tell us what you're talking about!"
"Yeah! Why are you talking in riddles?!"
"Yosh! That would make fighting these 'Evil Wardens' much easier!"
"...Your call, Naruto."
Sighing, Naruto sat down on a convenient surface- a nearby rock.
"The 'Evil Wardens'... Let's say that Team 7 has the best record of getting Wardens possible."
"...Yo-you mean..."
"...That.... explains the big cuts in your arm..."
"I... I was not expecting that."
There was silence for a few minutes, before the Shodarm spoke again.
"Well, it won't get anything done if you just stick around here and mope! I'm warping you to a place where new Zords are hidden! Good luck!" It spoke, the ever familiar warp effect appearing around everyone else in the room except Naruto, as well as an eye closing.
"HEY! Why am I not going?!"
"We need someone to stay behind and keep fight off any monsters. Seeing as you are the strongest Warden and still have a functioning Zord..."
"...Fine."
"Besides, don't you have psychologist appointments over the next week?"
\
Author's Notes: Yeah... there's going to be a 'mech hunt' mini arc, as per standard planning for a Power Rangers parody.
Also, I'm planning out the upgraded minions for the bad guys... I'm thinking blind humanoid eels with a healing factor and the ability to modify their bodies mid-combat...
Yes, I have started watching something angsty that I'm going to blatantly rip monsters off from.
...Now, for an excuse for everything...
Me. Let me handle it.
HEY! Who are you and why are you in the Author's Notes? That's my job, mocking the Author!
Ah, shush. I'll finally get some screen time on something, complete with my name being said!
...You?
Me. The great and mighty overlord, The-