She'd woken up that morning knowing it. She'd felt in her bones, seen it coursing along behind her eyelids. She'd refused to open her eyes for a long time because of that feeling. Perhaps not acknowledging would make it go away. One of the Doctor's arms was around her waist, loose and cool. The other was underneath her cheek, having made its way between her and the pillow. She was comfortable.
And she was dying.
She felt it in the strange way her heart was skipping beats lately. Or the way that she just couldn't bring herself to eat for days at a time. Or the way that she could move just a little quicker than the day before.
She let herself lie there, in the bed she'd shared with him for longer than she could remember anything else. It was morning somewhere, and evening and midnight and dawn and perpetual endless night all at the same time. The Vortex filled the ship, it felt like, and everything was happening at once.
She'd said that before, when she'd been trying to cope with things - her divorce, her father's death, and even her first few weeks on the TARDIS - but now it seemed to be undeniably true. Golden strands whizzed by her like trams on tracks to places she couldn't quite make out, but they were on their way somewhere. She wondered which one she was on.
She opened her eyes, letting her gaze trace over the hard lines that formed him. His lanky body just fit onto her mattress, and a hidden smile curved his lip upward. She wondered what he was dreaming about. He so rarely slept, and dreamt even more rarely; she was glad that whatever it was, it was making him happy.
She watched him for a few minutes more, then slid out from the bed, separating their bodies for the last time in a very long while. Whichever stop the TARDIS made next was hers. She could feel it. But just one more adventure. One more time running with the Doctor. Like an addict, she needed to have it. To have him. She tried to rinse the need away in the shower, to cry it out or scrub it out or watch it disappear down the drain. It didn't.
She was sitting in the console room with a cup of coffee when the Doctor finally came up. "Where to today? The Cephean moon? Ooh! The agricultural planet Iduna!" He began pushing buttons, then came to join her, sitting in the chair beside her. "You're up early today."
She smiled and shrugged. "Just was ready to get started."
"See now, things like that. It's why I love you." His ears reddened as they always did when he made that confession.
She twined his hand with hers and held it against her chest. "Love you too," she muttered against their joined fingers. She brought her head up, smiling again. "Now tell me about this Iduna."
"Oh, like I said, it's an agricultural planet. They grow fruit there that's not to be believed. An apple from Idun every day is said to keep you healthy forever."
"An apple a day, Doctor…"
"Exactly!" She felt the dull thud of landing and let her eyes linger on this place. Everything felt disjointed and out of order. How could she leave? This was the only home she knew now, and the Doctor needed her. He told her so, when still half-asleep after the nightmares. He still didn't know how often she shared his nightmares. It was a burden they could carry together. Saving galaxies and planets and species together. Together forever…
The whir of the TARDIS engines brought her back. The golden strands that seemed to always lurk at the edge of her vision brightened, and she remembered.
It had swirled in her head, the golden light specked with every color she could imagine. She had chosen to fight it, to let go of all the power and the vision. Vague suggestions of what she had seen still remained in her, even now - a flash of red hair, a golden goddess, a woman who stole a planet, those who waited, the ones that were impossible. But she remembered choosing, and she remembered her promise not to leave him alone. But he wouldn't be alone. Those other images, they were his life without her - his story went on.
She sighed, pushing herself up out of her chair, and remembered one more thing: at the end, at the very end, she came back. If she had to shift galaxies or universes, twist time - she would do it for him.
"Well come on then. Let's go get an apple!"
"And bananas if they have them," she teased, pulling herself back into reality with a smile meant only for him.
"Ah, bananas! Always bring a banana to a party!"
She laughed. "I'll keep the advice in mind." She took his hand, pivoted and kissed him soundly. "Ok, let's go."
With a grin of his own, he followed her out into the sunshine. It was a beautiful day. Green grass spread out before them, with rolling clouds above. The orchards could be seen sprawling across huge open fields, and she found herself drifting toward one. The Doctor was talking - wasn't he always talking when they were out and about? - and she listened hazily. The day was warm enough it was making her mind wander. She stopped by a tree, considering it. She picked an apple and took a bite.
"We should probably pay for that, you know."
"Hmm?" She looked up at the Doctor mid-chew. He laughed at her and plucked it from her hand, taking a bite of his own. Elbowing him in the side, she walked over to a sign that was barely noticeable, marking the line of trees from which she'd plucked her apple. "They have medical apples now, for real? What year are we in?"
"4379, of the Second Great and Powerful Human Empire. Sounds like something they'd do. Nobody likes taking pills, even now."
"Apples are much better. I'd imagine though, they have medical pears too. Gross."
The Doctor took another big bite, then frowned, looking at the apple. "Miranda, what sort of medical treatment is this apple supposed to be, anyway?"
She peered at the sign, feeling a bit queasy as she bent over. "2-Acetoxybenzoic Acid." She looked up at the Doctor, turning green. "Acid?"
"Not what you're thinking." She sighed with relief. "Worse." The Doctor bent double, grabbing his stomach. "2-Acetoxybenzoic Acid is the chemical name for aspirin."