A/N: So here we go, folks. We are leaving the filler chapters behind! So I talked to NPH, and apparently, he wasn't cool with the cloning and donating idea. Oh well, you win some you lose some.

:P I jest, but seriously, thanks for the reviews! They make me want to get these up faster!

Chapter 5: Let The Reigns Go Loose

********HIMYM********

"If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together...there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart...I'll always be with you."

********HIMYM********

MacLaren's Pub was not exactly the fanciest, most sought-after club that existed. They were in New York City, for god's sakes. They could easily find a better bar, even one just a few blocks down. Barney liked to complain and say MacLaren's was boring, not enough babes, the scotch wasn't strong enough, girls were too smart...the list went on and on. The reality was, though, that Barney had made his home at MacLaren's. He lived far away, sure, but it was a steadying point in his life, when something else would spiral out of his control. The old familiarity of the bar, of the worn bench with the chipping edges, of the smooth tabletop with the water rings permanently etched in, they were all inked permanently into his memory. Barney liked to run his fingers over them as a measure of comfort, especially nowadays. It was a reassurance to him, a comfort.

Something is still in your control. Something is still normal.

Never mind that the smell of the drinks set off an almost unbearable round of nausea. That the edge of the bench's wooden splinters cut into his hand when he gripped it to hold down the nausea. That he was growing almost alarmingly thin because he couldn't eat, couldn't drink, or that he had passed out twice in the past week because he wasn't doing either one (a story that did not make it back to his doctor).

No, just to sit in the dark bar, surrounded by the most important people in the world to him, made the weekly trips to the hospital and the horrible side effects bearable. To keep up appearances, Barney still made a herculean effort to act like his old self. He insulted Ted, put down marriage, came up with a few new strategies on how to dump a girl in three minutes or less (the that dress would have looked good on you six months ago. It was going to be a thing.), and even went out lazer tagging with Robin once, after pounding three Red Bulls and managing to make it 45 minutes.

But the side effects were worse than Barney could have imagined. Nowadays, when he would stand, the world would start to whirl violently and it was all he could do to grip Robin's arm (just trying to keep the flame roarin') and shut his eyes tightly, praying it would slow enough for him to get to a cab. The nausea fits were violent and unpredictable – he was pretty sure his friends were getting a little freaked out by all the "pee breaks" - and the fatigue was almost too much to make it out of bed in the morning.

Press on, his mind screamed. Don't let them see you like this. You can't be weak.

Today, the nausea and spinning were continuing even as he sat down. Marshall was telling some long, drawn out story about how evil his clients were and how the beautiful natural habitat they were about to destroy was...oh hell, Barney didn't know what it was, he had zoned out long ago.

Out of the corner of his eye, Marshall noticed Barney's face pale slightly (although lately, he had noticed Barney being fairly pale in general) and saw him squirm uncomfortably in his seat.

"Pee break," Barney burst out, stumbling for the bathroom.

Robin watched him go, confused but not terribly so, her boyfriend could be odd at times.

However, ten minutes later Barney still wasn't back. Absently, she picked up his gin and tonic, surprised to find it completely full. He hadn't drunk a drop of it. A knawing fear started to gather in her stomach. Barney had been acting strange recently, now that she thought about it.

All the times he fell asleep at any opportunity.

His sudden runs to the bathroom, all the time.

His long, unexplained absences, after which he always looked much more tired and paler than usual.

A hazy memory formed in her mind from about a month ago. In the middle of the night, Robin had awoken alone in Barney's huge bed, to strange sounds coming from the bathroom. Half-asleep, she had stumbled to the bathroom door, finding it locked. Her mind still thick with sleep, she thought she heard retching coming from the bathroom, followed by what sounded like someone sobbing softly. Thinking she was dreaming, because that couldn't possibly have been Barney, she thought nothing else of it, falling back into bed and back to sleep.

Now, remembering, Robin sat up ramrod straight in her seat. The fear that was steadily growing in her stomach, the something is way wrong that she couldn't explain if she tried, was consuming her. Something was wrong with Barney. Something was so wrong it could change their group's forever (Robin had always imagined being with these four people until she died).

"Ted, go check on Barney," she whispered.

Mid-laugh, Ted looked back at Robin strangely. "Uh, Robin, I seriously doubt Barney needs help peeing..."

"Go."

Shaking his head, Ted reluctantly stood. "Okayyyy...but if I see something that will traumatize me, I blame you."

Expecting Robin to laugh or at least make a snappy comeback, she was instead stonily silent.

The bathroom door swung open and Ted poked his head in, calling Barney's name. When there was no answer, Ted ventured in.

"Barney, if you're hooking up with some random chick in here...you better not be hooking up with some random chick in here!"

Again, no answer.

Starting to worry, Ted glanced covertly down at the bottoms of the bathroom stalls, until he spotted Barney's shiny black shoes. He knocked on the stall door, calling out to his friend (best friend, Barney's voice whispered in his head).

The room was silent.

Half closing his eyes, Ted reluctantly pushed the door open. He couldn't see much, but his eyes snapped open when they saw a form in black slumped against the toilet.

As Ted took in the sight before, his heart sped from a crawl to a race.

Barney lay, crumpled against the toilet, pale and motionless. And on the toilet, around it, staining the floor, staining Barney's suit and skin, was a trail of blood.