50. Scattered Raven part 5 Final

That afternoon, Sandy walked out into the sunlight of the Tower's rooftop. A light breeze disrupted the warmth in the summer's air. She adjusted her glasses, squinted across the landing pad, and saw Raven sitting cross-legged before the edge.

She slowly drifted over and stood behind the quiet Titan.

"If you're going to say something, don't hesitate," Raven said softly without looking. "There's no reason for me to meditate now…"

Sandy breathed in deeply and sat beside Raven. "Ya know….I-I was a little worried. You don't how your powers….so….wh-why're you sitting so close to the edge? It's not safe."

Raven smirked ever so slightly, her blue hair being kicked by the breeze. "I'm not that depressed, Sandy. Even if last night I….kinda sorta went off the deep end."

Sandy looked down. "I-I think I can imagine. Having the first day in so many years to show off your emotion and—"

"I was a complete and total bitch."

"No!!" Sandy shook her head. "No you weren't. Raven, listen, you've just been—" she placed a hand on Raven's shoulder.

Raven glanced at her, eyebrow lifted.

Sandy swallowed, removed her hand, and looked off towards the glittering Bay beyond.

A beat.

"Why are you here, Sandy?" Raven asked.

"I….wanted to make sure you were all-right."

"But why?" Raven turned to face her. "Why're you here? In this Tower? In this City? The carnival ended two nights ago. Why continue to be here?"

Sandy hugged herself as a gust of wind hit. She looked down at the rooftop between her legs. "I don't know, Raven. I guess I feel so….so……..responsible."

"Responsible?"

"For you. The Titans. Everyone." Sandy said. "I've always felt responsible. I've always believed in being a part of the grand evolution of the world. That's why I admired Noir and Beast Boy so much for what they did in Westhaven. They were trying to save people. And you know what, each day in my own little way, I'm trying to save the world too. I'm trying to make it a better, happier, more functional place. And if that means making sure you and the other Titans get out of this mess with Mumbo Jumbo and Trigon, then so be it!"

Raven chuckled, sighed, and looked off at the City. "You could so be a Titan, Sandy. If only we could find you a superpower."

Sandy beamed. "I can touch my nose with my tongue!"

Raven giggled. Then breathed. "I am going to miss laughing."

Sandy looked at her. "What do you mean?"

"I've come to a decision, Sandy."

Sandy cocked her head to the side.

"I've been sitting here a long time. In the lotus position. And I've done everything I normally do on this rooftop except for one thing."

"Meditation," Sandy nodded.

"I was the master of my domain, Sandy," Raven said. "Emotions were not bothersome things that did whatever they wanted. I had centered myself to the point that the 'self' was an obscure concept. From thereon, emotions were like furniture. They livened up the room in my mind, and I could move them around as I pleased….though it took a great deal of pushing and pulling. I once knew what it meant to not be the slave of feelings. To have control of one's self. But it always secretly bothered me because my mastery sacrificed a great thing in my life."

"Freedom?"

"Yes," Raven nodded. "Freedom to laugh. Freedom to cry. Freedom to yell. Freedom to create. Freedom to hate. All these things were absent in my every day. And I felt so robbed. So wronged. This is the only life I will ever live, and it was forever stale because of the events that took place to make who I am. Cursed by an all-powerful demon. The child of destiny and Hell rolled into one. Raven."

The girl took a deep breath. She tilted her head till she looked at Sandy again.

"And in spite of all that wrong….the life I lived before yesterday was right. Because in spite of all my sacrifices, I had the one thing which now I can't seize because my friends are all confused and my father is starting a rampage. And that one thing is peace. Order. Tranquility. And reason. Without those things, I am not mature. I am not strong. I am not me."

Sandy stared.

Raven sighed. "I will give up anything and everything—emotional freedom included—to get me back."

"That's a tough decision, Raven," Sandy said. "How do you plan to do it?"

"By facing my fears," Raven stood up and adjusted her hood. "And asking for help……from my friends."

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

They gathered in a circle in the wrecked Main Room. Dust, debris, and shards of glass collected around them from the battle of the previous night with Trigon incarnate.

The air that wafted in was cool and breezy; a feat in and of itself in that they were in the middle of summer.

Amidst this chaos, they all faced the center of the circle. Waiting for the one who summoned them to appear.

"I do not care how distraught she may be," Starfire grunted. "We need to make an act of aggression and we must do it NOW!"

"D-Don't be too hard on her, p-please," Robin shivered. "Sh-She's been through a lot. And l-let's not forget about Noir…"

"Robin has a realistic argument in this circumstance," Beast Boy adjusted his spectacles and spoke: "Whatever course of action we may take—aggressive or no—

Noir will in some form or another be at the receiving end of our offensive administrations."

"If Noir is the same condition as you or I," Starfire gritted her teeth, "Then he will not mind if we SMASH HIS CRANIUM ASUNDER!!"

"Hehehehehehehe!!" Cyborg giggled. "She said 'asunder'."

"What are you humoring about?!?!" Starfire shook.

"Ahem."

The four looked up.

Sandy cleared her throat and waved.

Raven stepped down beside her and walked into their midst. "Forgive me for being late. I was….gathering up strength for what I have to say."

"Wh-What is it?" Robin asked.

Raven took a deep breath. "I need you. All of you."

They stared at her.

"To engage with Trigon?" Beast Boy asked.

"I cannot fight him alone," Raven lowered her eyes and sighed. "Because, the truth be told, I have never fought him alone."

"Then what was the meaning of your exuberant tirade last night?!?!" Starfire exclaimed.

"I didn't think about it hard enough," Raven said. "I….I-I miss my friends. Yes. I said 'my friends'. Because—to tell the truth—they aren't really here right now."

Robin gulped.

Beast Boy: "Hmmmm."

Starfire exclaimed: "What are you suggesting?!"

"Whenever I fought Trigon…the only way I could hold him at bay in my mind was through my emotions," Raven explained. "Until last night, they were safely sealed away in my head. But Mumbo Jumbo's 'power-draining' camera scattered them. And now they're resting in you. But not only that, they have become you. You were once my friends…and I believe that you once again will be. But as of this moment—undeniably—your are nothing more than the representations of my psyche. And that be the case, I need you, dear emotions, to help me once again put Trigon back in his place. And then….THEN…we can work on returning things to normal."

Silence.

Cyborg giggled. "Hehehehe…TEAM WORK!!"

"Are you all up to it??" Raven asked.

Robin eyed left….right…then rose his trembling hand. "Um….y-you will be with us, right Raven?"

She nodded.

Robin swallowed. "Then it'll be just like old times. L-Let's do it."

"Yeah!!" Cyborg cheered. "Wooo!!"

"This should certainly be interesting," Beast Boy smirked and folded his arms.

Everyone looked at Starfire.

"……well, no one lives forever," she grunted and smirked. "Now where is Trigon?? He has my fist to kiss!"

"That's where it gets a little difficult," Raven said. "We have to find him first. And then there's the issue of Noir…."

"W-We won't have t-to hurt him, will we?" Robin meekly asked.

"I hope not," Raven sighed. "I think that…..perhaps…if we were able to find Mumbo Jumbo's camera and try reversing the spell at the same time as we take on Trigon…."

"Then the transferal might deplete Trigon's energy and alleviate our fears as to injuring Noir's body!" Beast Boy said.

"Ooooh! A plan!!" Cyborg chuckled.

"But…where to find Trigon to begin with?"

"Here's something you might find of interest," Sandy said.

The circle looked over.

She was positioned at a computer console on the side. She brought up a screen. "Word has it that an explosion went off at Vreeland's estate last night. They tried investigating….but workers were chased off by unexplained energies. A photo was taken of the site, showing a rising mist of red." She smirked. "Sound like anyone we know?"

Starfire palmed a fist and gritted her teeth.

Raven took a deep breath. "Friends….emotions….countrymen…..We have a carnival to go to…"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

My shoulders hunched. I breathed deep, yet rapidly. A mysterious mist came out of my mouth and my red irises were narrowed by black sockets. I stood in the center of a Fun House, in a Hall of Mirrors. Light of the falling evening scattered in from the hole I had formed in the ceiling. Outside, the carnival grounds were gray…dismal…dead against the dying land and dying night around the lavishly built mansion.

Everything was silent….everything was empty….

A red mist rose slowly from the ground.

And then….

"Jordan……."

In one of the many mirrors, my face shot up and gasped. My black eyes were wide and full of horror. My face bruised and bleeding from….what? I couldn't tell. Couldn't remember. Or maybe I could but didn't want to.

I panted.

"Jordannnnnnnnnnnnnnnn….."

The voice taunted.

I spun around. I ran from one mirror to the next. I stopped in a place and hugged myself. Panting.

"Why do you tryyyyyy so hard to hold onnnnnn??"

I looked all around me. Mirrors and mirrors. Gray light. Red mist.

"This body is minnnnnnne nowwwwwww…"

I gasped for breath and ran across the mirrors till I ended up in an upside down world. I gasped, finding my body stretched across the blue sheet of glass.

"Is it because of yourrrrrrr past that you stay alivvvvvve?!"

I stepped backwards. My body stretched and stretched against the glass.

"You have no seccccccrets. You know thattttt. Just because your so-callllllled friends are in the darkkkkk, it doesn't make what you know secret."

I backed up into a corner where three of me appeared. Three pale, frightened, ragged me's.

"You know everythingggggg about your pastttttt, don't you?"

I panted. I swallowed.

My face was a sheen with sweat.

"You're not an amnesiaccccc. You just dennnnnnny who you arrrrrrre."

I spun around. I faced a fat, stretched-out me across a grand mirror.

"That's why you'rrrrrrre with the Titansssss. To forgettttttt."

I desperately clenched my fist and struck the image. It shattered. I shattered. It hurt. I wanted to scream.

"When I was freeeeeeeeed from my daughttttttter's cage of a minddddd, I chose you because I coulddddd feeeeeeel the darknessssssss."

I spun around and ran down a corridor of glass and geometric chaos.

"I could feeeeeeeeeeel the blood. I could tasttttttte the screams. I could hearrrrr the sliced skinnnnn."

I came to a stop, bent over, and heaved for breath.

"And yourrrrrrr mind. No, it was neverrrrrr yours alonnnnnne to begin with."

I looked up. Sweating.

"I justtttttt had to makkkkkkke room for myself. And I mustttttt say, you have mannnnnny gifts to offer me."

I gritted my teeth. I spun around and gasped to see myself through fly eyes.

"What do you havvvvvvve to live forrrrrrrr?? Your friendsssss?? Friends don'tttttt keep secrettttttts from each other."

I stepped back, hugging myself. Shivering.

"I'lllllll tell you a secretttttt. Would you carrrre to hear?"

I bit my lip. I shook.

"I see you in herrrrrrrrrr mind a lotttttt. Sitting alone in my cccccccccage. I lookkkkk out from the barred windowsssss and there you'll beeeeeeeeee, floattttttting by like a thunderrrrrcloud."

I clenched my eyes shut. Tears formed.

"How often I wonddddddddered what it'd be likkkkkkkke to reach my gnarllllllled hands out and ripppppp you into oblivionnnnnnn. But now…..that will verrrrrrry much happennnnnnn. She and the Titanssssss are coming to stop meeeeeeeee. And you will be destroyeddddd."

My throat hurt. I opened my eyes.

Four specks were staring me down. Glowing.

"Or woulddddddddd you ratherrrrrr I have you destroy her?!?!?!"

I clutched my head. I bent over. I screamed. We screamed.

Everything screamed.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"

Everything spiraled down. The mirrors got caught up in the cyclone, shattered into a river of glass, and bathroom drained into an infinitesimal nub of oblivion surrounded by bleeding bodies and my standing body and my hand gripping Myrkblade and--

Tears.

'Hold on, Jordan……'

In the dark, I wept and obeyed her.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

The T-Car rolled to a stop.

The engine cut.

Six bodies got out.

They stared in the wind of the cold, dark night.

The carnival rested on the Vreeland lawn. Dead and ghostly in the gray light and red mist. Everything was dreadfully silent. And cold.

"C-Can we go back?" Robin whimpered.

Starfire elbowed him.

"OW!"

"Well look on the bright side," Cyborg grinned and looked at the rest. "No mimes!!"

"…………….," they all stared.

"Hehehehehe!! I kill myself sometimes!"

"I wish you would," Beast Boy muttered.

Raven glanced over at Sandy. "We're going in. Sandy…stay in the T-Car and keep in contact. We may need all the help we can get."

Sandy nodded. "I'll do anything I can do to help."

Raven looked at the rest. "You all remember the plan, right?"

They nodded.

"I'll go in first," Raven said. With a sigh she added: "When I give the signal—you all know the signal, correct?—you come in and help me. We'll get Trigon together."

"Be careful," Starfire said firmly. "I do not wish to find out you need your proverbial donkey saving."

Raven smiled. She enjoyed it. "I'll be fine. Trust me."

"Better make haste," Beast Boy said.

"Agreed. Robin, come with me," Raven guided the pensive boy to the rear of the T-Car. They popped a trunk and inside was an identical utility belt and set of tools like Robin's.

He handed them to her. "I-I guess that training in the o-old days finally came in handy," he simpered. "I finally became worthless."

"You're hardly worthless, Robin," Raven said, snapping the belt on and gathering birdarangs and grappling hooks. "It was you who taught me what it meant to fight crime without superpowers. I may be a little rusty, but I never once forgot any of the things you taught me." She removed her robe, stuck her hands inside the T-Car, and pulled out a blue cape modeled after the same size and material as Robin's. She fastened it behind her shoulders. "This may be an awkward undertaking….but it'll have to do."

She looked at him. She raised an eyebrow.

Robin was shivering. He hugged himself and looked off in the distance.

"Robin??" Raven asked. She leaned towards him. "What's on your mind?"

"I-I'm so scared…..sc-scared for you…f-for Noir. For e-e-everyone! I-I can't believe I let all of this happen!"

"Nobody suspected a thing," Raven said.

"I-I'm so sorry!" Robin shook his head and whimpered. "I'm a t-terrible team leader!! I-I can't keep it secret anymore!! All of you will hate me!! All of you will want nothing to do with me!! I-I can't stand it anymore!!"

That said, the Boy Wonder frantically grabbed his eyemask and started to yank….

"No!!!" Raven grabbed his hands and shook him out of it. "Robin, NO! No, Robin!! Look at me. Robin. Look at me!"

The boy gasped and slowly looked in her eyes.

"Don't. Give. Yourself. Up." She said. "You aren't your normal self tonight. You would regret it in the long run. And for your sake, Robin, I won't let you do that to yourself. You will thank me in the end."

The boy sniffed. A tear ran down from under his eyemask as he looked away. "I…I-I wish I was brave…"

"You are brave, Robin," Raven said. "You just can't see it, right now."

The boy whimpered. He flew forward and Raven had no choice but to give him a hug. He sobbed over her shoulder as she sighed and rolled her eyes to the sky while patting his back.

"I wish Cyborg and Starfire would switch emotions right about now….," she muttered.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Birdarang in grasp…blue cape billowing in the wind…Raven stepped slowly, cautiously into the gray aura of the carnival. Her breath produced vapor. Her eyes glanced left….flicked right….and back. Her feet kept pressing onward—slow and snakelike—one's heel before the other's toe.

Grass and weeds crackled under her soft weight.

Silence.

She came to a stop.

She looked into the dark shadows of a row of concession stands. She looked up at the dark silhouette of a ferris wheel. She glanced at porcelain horses of a merry-go-round glistening in the moonlight.

Silence.

She took a deep breath, frowned, and whispered: "I'm here, daddy."

CHTUNG!!!!

Raven's eyes were stabbed as a row of bright lights turned on overhead.

She raised a hand over her squinting eyes and gritted her teeth. "Nnnghh!"

CHTUNG!!!

CHTUNG!!!

WHURRRRR!!!!

Lights sparked to life all across the carnival in a circle.

A large hum arose.

The porcelain horses started to bob up and down in an ever-accelerating circle.

The ferris wheel groaned to life and spun on its own.

Lights danced and flickered across the concession stands and booths.

From somewhere in the reincarnated, beating heart of the fairgrounds, a moaning voice climbed up the ladder and ran the track higher and higher till the typical fanfare siren of the carnival went into full-blown merriment.

Raven almost expected clowns to come flipping down the aisles.

She spun around…lights flashing and dancing on all sides of her. She held her birdarang at ready.

"Be happy, little girrrrrrrrrl. For once, you know you can!!"

She gasped and spun around.

My figure stood atop the center portion of the Scrambler. The part that didn't spin. I chuckled. My folded arms exploded outward into a crucifix position.

"Don't you just LOVE carnivals?!?! HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!"

Raven glared.

"Ohhhhhhh what kind of a fatherrrrrrr would I be if I never took my own daughterrrrrr to one?! Ha ha ha ha ha…"

"I've come here to free Noir….," she said.

"Sure you did," I winked two red irises. "And I waited for the Titans and not you. Be honesssst daughter. You want your old self backkkkkk and nothing more. Nothing less."

"Don't dictate to me what I want or don't want," Raven growled. "It's not your place. It never was."

"Whose was it then?!?!" I leaned forward on my knee and smirked. "Those bitchessss of Azar?! I surrrrrre made mince meat of themmmmm. Too bad they raised you to beeeeeee a tough little shit!!"

FWOOOM!!!

In a blur of red murk, I was nearly at her side.

Raven gasped and jumped back, raising the birdarang overhead.

"What are you going to do?!?!" I smiled, stepping leisurely around her with my arms behind my back. "Rip me a new airhole?!?! Stab me in the heart?!?! Produce blood out of a body that's been so battered and bleeding over the last twenty four hours that there's no chance in his hell or yours that Noir would ever forgive you?!"

Raven panted. "Don't…tempt….me…."

"You ever wanted to just kill your friends ever before?!?! Just rrrrrip them aparrrrrt and let it all be done with?!?! Listen to his voice, Raven. Listen to his voice and wonder…."

I leaned forward. My black eyes flashing red. I smiled.

"Do you wantttttt this to exisssst?!"

Raven glared. "This. Is. Not. His. Voice."

"No….of course not…it's your voice, Raven. The only voice you'll everrrrrrrr want to hear from here on outttttt." I reached for her.

She gasped and swung with her birdarang.

But I teleported out of the way. The voice chuckled and cackled as I teleported in short bursts of red from rooftop to rooftop of the rides and stands circling the girl. "HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa!!!!!"

Raven spun around, sweating.

I ported to a stop atop the ferris wheel. I flung my arms up and shouted. "WITH WHAT IRONY THE FATES COME INTRO FRUITION!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!"

"Shut up and come down and face me!!"

I teleported to the top of the merry-go-round. "Oh, but I havvvve faced you, girrrrrrrl. For years and yearrrrrrs I looked upon the celestial psyche swirlllllling over my wrought iron cell and saw nothing butttttt you!!" My head slowly turned—as did my body—as I forced myself to face her on the spinning top of the merry-go round. "Eventualllllly all I wanted to do was get away from youuuuuu. That deadpan face. Those bitttttttter lips. Those downcast eyessss." I leaned on the circling steeple of the structure and peered down at her, grinning. "But the truth was then and is now the sammmmme. I must reinventtttt you. I must tear my way inside and force apart the stitches those Azar waifs made to holddddd your true potentialllll in. And make you minnnnnnne,……..HA!!!"

FLASH!!!

I was gone.

Raven stepped back and bumped into Noir's body.

"BOO!!" I raised a hand to launch a red sphere of murk down at her.

She shrieked and flew the birdarang straight at my face.

I was gone in a puff of red mist.

The birdarang flew up and struck a set of bright lights.

CRASH!!!

Sparks flew.

Raven gulped.

A body of red teleported over in a streak that slammed her in the side.

Raven grunted. Her body was sent flying up and over the grounds and through a concession stand.

SMASH!!!

Splinters flew. She tumbled to the ground in the darkness formed between the back of lined-up stands.

A roaring sound.

She glanced up and saw me streaking towards her—warbling red smoke—through the hole.

She ducked.

SWOOOOSH!!!

I soared through and smashed into the rear of the concession stand on the other side.

Raven spun around and reached into her utility belt.

I flipped off the stand, landed, teleported backwards, and approached her with glowing red arms. My eyes on fire. "Come. Give. Daddy. A. HUG!!!"

Her hand flew back out—and with it was a metal staff.

SMACK!!!

My head flew to the side.

She grunted and jabbed forward.

WHUMP!!

I bent over.

She could have performed a finishing blow, but instead she swung the staff low and tripped me out from under.

THWUMP!!!

Mist flew up in a red splash.

Raven panted and ran back out into the open.

I got up to my feet, chuckling. "Heheheheheheheh!!! Let the blood flow. LET THE BLOOD FLOW!!" I growled and streaked out at her on blurring crimson.

THWAP!!!

"AAGH!!" Raven cried as I shoved her in the back and across the field. I let go with a kick to her rear that sent her stumbling forward, into the merry-go-round, and falling over the back of a horse. "OOF!!"

I pounced, turned into smoke, flew into the merry-go-round, and materialized on the revolving platform two horses down from her. "Tell me….dear chilllld," I smirked as I leaned on the saddle of a bobbing steed.

She got up, winced, and looked over at me.

I spoke over the merry-go-round music. "Did your friendssss hug you last night? Did they make it allllllllll better? I bet they didn't. Heheheheheheh!!"

Raven growled. She ran over and swung the staff.

SHATTER!!!

A porcelain horse head flew to pieces.

I blurred over and peaked under the hooves of another one. "You realize that—no matter how nice your friends are---I still own you, right?!?! Heheheheheh!!"

She swung again with a cry.

Shards of horse flew.

Everything around us spun.

I spun towards her….and grabbed her cape.

"Let's dance. YAH!!!"

That said, I yanked till she twirled off the merry-go-round and tumbled to the grass.

"Mmmph!!" she dropped the staff.

SMASH!!!! I flew up through the roof of the merry-go-round and soared up into the air.

Raven spun around, faced up, and gasped.

I came down at her. I charged up my hands. Orbs of murk glowed brightly. "RrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRAUGGGGH!!!"

Pulse after pulse of crimson destruction flew down at her.

Raven sweat. She tilted her head up. Upside down, she saw the ferris wheel off in the distance. She whipped out a grappling hook and shot at it. POW!!! The cord flew and the hook sailed into one of the cars of the ride. It lifted up and away from Raven, dragging her body along the ground just quickly enough to kick away and avoid the crater-forming blasts of murk landing at the soles of her boots.

I landed and ran at her, charging a heavy blast. "Hatred. Fire. CONSUME!!!"

With a free hand Raven pulled a disc out of her utility belt and flung it at me. "NGHH!!"

It met with my hands right as I unleashed the blast.

FLASH!!!!

My own demonic energy forced me back ten feet.

The next moment, Raven was being dragged under the cars of the ferris wheel and up into the air a she dangled from her elevating car. She climbed up—grunting—and stood at the top of her car as she reached the peak of the wheel. She panted and looked down from the height.

I was gone.

Her eyes widened.

"Raaaaaavvvvvvvvvennnnnn."

She gasped. She spun around just as her car was lowering.

I appeared over the horizon of the next car above her. I stood atop it with my arms folded and a grin on my face.

"I think it's about time you grew some wings." I shot a hand down. A stream of red energy flew.

ZAAP!!!

"UGH!!!" Raven cried as her body shot out into the night.

She flew into a colorful banner between two poles. It stretched with her weight…then snapped. In mid-fall, Raven grabbed a hold of one of the severed banner halves. She swung around the length of the banner down a pole and came to the end, upon which she was yanked off by gravity and smashed down through the weak ceiling of a fun house. She landed on a foam 'sea' inside. Humps of sea serpents and plastered mermaids rose around her.

She rubbed her head and winced.

A rattling sound echoed into the chamber as a 'mining car' rolled along the track of the fun house and past her. She stood up and hobbled through the foam sea before coming to solid ground. She navigated her way across the tracks as another car or two rolled by and wandered into the next scene.

She was now inside a 'haunted' mansion. Electronic ghosts and ghoul sounds swarmed around her. A goblin appeared in a fireplace. As another car rolled by, she wandered by a bookcase through which a dragon had burst through and was breathing dry ice from its still, papier-mâché mouth.

The voice came out through the walls…soft and whispery.

But still demonic.

"You know….Raven….."

She panted and slowly approached the bookcase through which the voice whispered.

"Your mother….sh-she thought I was a h-handsome man…"

Raven bit her lip.

"She never knnnnnew I was the demonnnnnn that now claws its way throughhhhhh your bloodstreammmmm…."

I leaned against the wall on the other side—the Arabian Knights corridor—and practically made love to the wall as I smiled and whispered sweetly:

"…….I was still……I-Inside her when I transformed…….to my real self……"

Raven fumed. She clenched her fists and stared at me through the gnarled dragon face.

"Ohhhhh she screamed. She tried to get me out….she screamed and she bled…….and she screamed and she bled………………..and she screamed and she bled till she was not herself anymore…….heheheheheh…"

The red specks in my eyes trailed upwards as I smiled, licked my lips, and kissed the wall.

"You see…..Raven…..no matter how much she fought……….I had to do itttttt. I had to make sure you were borrrrrrrrrn."

"Shut up….," Raven shook. "SHUT UP!!!"

SMASH

The dragon face flew apart and I stomped through, holding up spheres of red murk and staring her down. "But the fact is…I never shut up!! I never die!! I never die because you live and you Raven are forever a part of ME!!!!"

"I said SHUT UP!!!" Raven flew a birdarang at me.

I ducked and kicked with my foot.

WHUMP!!

Raven flew back, hit a two dimensional ghost, and fell hard over the tracks. Her eyes squinted at the rails. The track rattled against her cheek. She saw a car coming straight at her.

She pushed up from the ground with a gasp and barely avoided the careening car.

She back up---into me.

I hugged her from behind, gripping her arms down.

"Aagh!!" Raven struggled against me.

"Shhhhh!!" I whispered into her ear. "Don't be like her…."

Raven gritted her teeth, wiggled her hand into her utility belt, and grabbed a taser.

"My mother DIED to save me!!" she spat. "I owe her my life. NOT YOU!!!"

She stabbed the taser deep into my leg.

I jerked, twisted, and shouted. "RRRRGHHHH!!!" with demonic strength I grabbed her shoulders, spun, and flung her through the wall of the funhouse.

SMASH!!!

She sailed out and tumbled onto the grass.

She stumbled to her legs, winced, and looked up. She gasped as a flock of red, cawing crows swarmed out of the hole in the fun house and flew past her.

The 'crows' formed together and I materialized. No sooner, I ran over and flew a fist across her face. "RAAUGH!!"

SMACK!!

She fell back to the ground. She spun around and kicked her foot up.

I grabbed it, glared, and lifted her up into the air.

She let out a cry.

I dropped her, spun, and plowed my smoke-charged hand into her side.

WHAM!!!

She flew into the ground. The air escape her lungs. Everything was burning.

She winced as I stomped over, knelt down, and grabbed her skull. I lifted her forcibly to face me.

"Stubborn…..disrespectful….BITCH!!!"

Raven winced under my grip. She gritted her teeth and her blue eyes darted past me and across the carnival grounds. She saw a dismantled tent collapsing into the grass. Resting on one pole—she could see clear as day—was a huge framed portrait of her and her friends.

The picture!!

"For over a decade and a half I've dealt with your insolence…and to what end?!?! Forget Noir's body…I can still make myself one with YOURS!!"

Raven's goal had been reached.

She had seen the painting.

She glanced and smiled into the four eyes of Trigon.

I glared. "What is it?!?! Speak now or forever hold your peace, you WASTE!!!"

"I have only one thing to say," she said. She blinked. She tilted her head up towards the night sky. "HELP!!!!!!!!!!!"

That was a signal.

There was a rush of wind.

"Huh?!?!" I looked up.

A pair of green pterodactyl wings sailed down. A set of clawed feet smacked me in the face.

WHAM!!!

I let loose of Raven and went flying across the grass.

Robin dropped down from a concession stand top. He gulped, whipped out an explosive disc, and flew it at me.

SWISSSSSSH!!!

Cyborg and Starfire jumped out of hiding. Giggling or growling, they let loose a stream of blue laser and a thundering starbolt at me.

The disk, the laser beam, and the starbolt all converged on my figure at once.

BLAST!!!!!!!!

I was plowed into the earth. I formed a canal and stopped at a crater. I was literally smoking in a few places. "Nnggggh!!"

"Titans!!" Raven shouted and pointed at the distant picture. "Get that picture!!! Now's our chance!!"

All five made a mad sprint for it.

I didn't even need to look. My teeth grit and my black eyes glowed a sun-bright red. "GrrrrrrrrrNO!!!!!!!!!!!!"

FLASH!!!!!

The five stumbled, covering their eyes.

I jumped up, warbling with fiery murk of red.

I reached out a hand, shouted, and flung a stream of crimson at Beast Boy.

His body sagged, rolled, and slammed against a set of stands.

I spun and aimed at Robin.

I blasted him into the side of the ferris wheel.

Cyborg and Starfire charged me.

I flexed my arms and pointed at the earth. Two trails dug their way under the two chargers and exploded at their feet in flickering tongues of red smoke.

They collapsed, wheezing.

Raven gasped.

My whole body bowed, shook, and shot straight up to the heavens with a shrieking cry that sounded like a thousand ravens burning alive at once. The demonic murk and smoke of Destruction swam up into the air and formed two crimson/black wings that 'flapped' above me as I glared back down at Raven an stomped towards her. Each time I took a step onto the earth, distant lights flickered and the ground shook. The 'wings' twitched and a red-hot wind wafted down towards the dark girl as I advanced.

"Extinguish….everyone….Azarath Metrion Trigon….the beginning and the end of the next dimension of reign! The inevitability. The future. The past. The NOW!!!"

Raven stumbled back. Her eyes twitched to the side. She squinted past my demonic aura and saw the shadowed form of Sandy running towards the distant pole and snapping the picture down.

"This is your fate, girrrrrrrl!! It is life!! It is your death! It. Is. ME!!!"

I flung a tornado of red at her with a flutter of the crimson rings.

Raven dodged with a dive.

Sandy ran up. "Raven!!! Catch!!" She tossed the picture—frame and all.

I gasped. My four red eyes flashing.

Raven looked up.

The picture spiraled in the air in its descent.

She got to her feet.

The image of the six Titans fell.

She ran and dove for it----

But my hand snatched it first.

Raven gasped. "No…."

"Oh yessssssssss," I grinned, my eyes murking red. I held the picture high above myself and aimed my other hand about it. In a second from then, I would melt it all away with my demonic force. "You will not prevent the reckoning. I shall---"

The voice stopped. My whole body jerked. The red irises rolled back and I tilted up.

"What…..WHAT?!….NO…..Noir……NOIR!!! JORDAN!!!!"

Raven watched, her jaw dropping.

My body twitched. My arms shook.

"Obey….OBEY…."

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

I stood still.

Trigon towered over me.

His red muscles flexed and his four glowing eyes glared.

"You will DIE for this!!" he hissed with fanged, white teeth.

I listened…but I didn't look.

I was watching someone through him.

"Huh?!" he spun around. He growled. "Who are you?!?!"

She walked calmly. Beautifully. An unseen wind kicking at tiny wisps of blonde hair. The blue eyes were soft and inviting. She walked gently through Trigon like he was a sheet of water and emerged sparkling on the other side as she embraced me in the gentlest hug that only she could give.

"Thanks for holding on, Jordan…," she whispered soft and warm into my ear.

I felt a tear fall from my tortured face as I held her back and surrendered into her arms.

"Now……remember your friends…"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

The red specks and wings momentarily disappeared.

I gasped.

My eyes were black again.

My mouth agape, I tilted my neck down and looked at Raven.

She stared across at me.

I bit my lip, pulled my arm back, and threw the painting at her.

SWISSSSSSH—CLAP!

She caught it and hugged it to her chest.

She stared at me, wide eyed.

My eyes bulged and my lips quivered. My faced pleaded with her for those last half seconds before the red flashed back to demonic life and seized me once again.

"Rrrrrrghhhh GET OUT!!!!!"

My body jerked and screamed and flung all about. My limbs glowed red once again. Smoke and murk warbled crimson up my arms. I gasped and looked at her.

"What---CHILD!!!"

Raven spat. "Go back to where you belong." She gripped the frame of the picture and snapped it in to.

CRACK

Streams of bright energy flew out from the painting. They sailed into Starfire….Cyborg….Robin…Beast Boy……..and me.

FLASH!!! FLASH!!! FLASH!!! FLASH!!!

FLASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Titans groaned…and I screamed.

"NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The Titans twitched a few times…then sighed with ease as streams of energy flew back out of them and squirmed their way like snakes in the air and tossed themselves into Raven's body.

She gasped and jerked around as the emotions reentered her.

Sandy shaded her eyes from the fireworks display of magic.

Slowly, Raven's body calmed down. The light disappeared.

She stood dizzily on two feet and shook her face. Her eyes glowed gray. She was getting her power back. Her mind back. Her…..

She froze.

She looked up.

She wasn't complete yet. She couldn't feel…anger.

The Titans weakly got up and shook their heads as Raven walked over to my grounded body.

My body pulsed red. Red murk leaked everywhere. The grass was dying in a halo around me. A twitching hand gripped my throat and preserved whatever demonic voice was still housed in it.

As the girl stepped up—the broken halves of the picture in hand—I glared up with four fading red eyes and gritted my teeth with a snarl.

Raven's glowing eyes narrowed. "Expect no windows to the cell this time…." She was about to smash the picture halves apart when I stretched my hand out towards her.

"WAIT!!!!!"

Raven stopped.

I gripped my throat again. "Destroy…….me….."

"Give it up."

"NO!! LISSSSSSTEN!!" I panted and squinted the red specks at her. "My poor….litttttle….daughterrrr. You can be free. Yes! You can!! Once and for all!!!"

Raven's eye stopped glowing. Her blue eyes reappeared, moist and confused.

"Destroyyyyy Noirrrrrr," I grinned. "It is the only way to end me!! The only way to rid you of Trigon forever!!!"

Raven's lips parted. For a second there, she seemed to be considering it.

The Titans walked over, watching silently. Fearfully.

"If you take me back inside youuuuuu," I hissed. "I will once again break freeeeeee. And you know it!! I knowwww it!! Poor litttttle girl…….heheheh…..destroy Noir! Destroy Noir now and YOU SHALL FOREVER BE FREE!!!!"

Raven gritted her teeth. She shook. "RrrrrrrNO!!!!!"

She smashed the painting halves together.

I shrieked. "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" The voice warbled as a red stream of Trigon demon force flew out from my throat and was sucked into Raven's body.

The Titans flinched as a huge wind blasted out from the tumultuous transfer.

"I will NOT destroy a fellow teammate to assure myself an empty FREEDOM!!!"

"AAAAAUGHHHHHHH---NGGGGHHHH!!!"

"You were planted inside of me. Raised inside of me. Grafted into my very being!!!" Raven shouted.

The glowing energy surrounded her and sank into her center.

"As evil as you are, you are my own responsibility!! And I shall deal with you personally in the way I was always meant to!!!" The wind died down. Her cape and hair lowered and she wilted into half a crouch as she whispered out in finality the familiar imprisonment of Trigon. "Alone……"

The Titans stared.

Cyborg rubbed his scalp.

Beast Boy blinked.

Starfire leaned on Robin.

I sputtered, wheezed, and gasped. I snapped up into a sitting position on the ground. I looked at my arms…at the bruises and the cuts. I felt my throat. Felt the emptiness, and sighed. I stared up at Raven.

She looked towards the ground.

I slowly got up and limped towards her. I stood a foot or two away, staring silently. My jaw agape. I breathed out and gently touched her shoulder.

She jerked up to look at me. Her trademark glare was back…and ever so bitter.

"Get away from me!" she spat.

I stepped back like I had been stabbed.

Sandy walked up, and was silent.

Raven spun around and walked towards the edge of the carnival.

Alone.

She stripped of the utility belt and cape and weapons along the way.

And we were helpless to assist her in herself.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

The next afternoon, while gradually cleaning up the wreckage and damage in the Main Room….

"My lips are still sore from all that smiling," Cyborg mumbled while lifting up a huge, replacement monitor for the main computer. "Was I really that…..giddy?"

Beast Boy hung upside down on the ceiling from bat feet. He assisted in screwing in the monitor back in place. "I dunno. I guess so. I was a bit…..busy in the brain at the time, dude."

"Yeah, what's up with that?!" Cyborg honestly chuckled. "You were like Mr. Wizard!"

Beast Boy burped.

"Yup…great to have you back, man."

Across the way, Robin was polishing the top of a newly constructed bar counter for the kitchen unit. "That ought to do it!! There's nothing like a sturdy base to come home to after crime fighting, I always say! Then again, anything beats a cave nowadays."

"Agreed," said a familiar, Tamaranian voice. "And I know the first order of edibles to place on top of the platform!"

A plate of……alien pudding rested on the counter in front of Robin.

"Um….th-thanks, Star," Robin managed. A blink. He looked up at her. "What is it?"

The girl Titan wrapped her hands together and said: "It is a traditional Plate of Apology from my home planet. I wish for you to enjoy it."

"Apology??" Robin remarked. "Starfire…what are you sorry for??"

"All the times I treated you in the most disrespectful manner during the great dispersal of Raven's emotional personas," she said.

"Star," Robin smiled and placed a hand on her shoulder. "It's okay! I forgive you! You weren't yourself for the last two days. Heck, I did things I would forever be embarrassed of."

"You did?"

"Yeah!! I mean, I'm the team leader and there was a time for a moment there that I let Raven's pensive personality take over me and keep me from believing in myself and the rest of you as well!! That's nothing for me—or anyone else for that matter—to be proud of. I should be the one, apologizing."

"Then….w-we are on equal terms?" the alien girl asked.

Robin smiled and nodded. "Mmmmhmmm!"

"Oh, glorious!!" she hugged him tightly. "My aggression and your cowardice have been washed away into the black hole of our respectful pasts!! Hehehehe!!"

Robin wheezed, his face turning blue. "Easy, Star….before you do something you DO have to apologize for."

She blushed. "Eeep!! Much sorries!!"

"HEY!!" Cyborg shouted in the background. "YOU LITTLE GREEN TURD!! YOU'RE NOT FASTENING THE T.V. IN RIGHT!! IT'S GONNA FALL!!"

"Jeez, I'm trying, dude!! Smile a little!!"

"RGGGHH!! CAN'T. HOLD. IT. MUCH. LONGER!!"

Starfire simpered and pointed in that direction. "I should probably go and provide some assistance."

Robin smiled. "You do that."

She flew away. "Let me help you in the lifting of the T. of the V.!"

Robin sweatdropped and glanced over at the videophone. A light was blinking.

He walked over and lifted the receiver off the hook. "Hello? OH! It's you!"

Sandy smiled, on screen. "I thought it'd be only polite of me to say goodbye."

"Sandy, you've been so much help to us. You really have."

"Only happy to, sir," the volunteer smiled. "I want to help anyone I can."

"Tell me when you learn to fly or shoot lasers," Robin smirked. "Cuz then I'd induct you into the team."

"Hehehehehe…will do."

"I'm…….sorry that Raven didn't say bye to you before you left the Tower," Robin said. "She's not been talking to much of us lately since the victory last night."

"I understand," Sandy nodded. "She's probably been meditating all this time."

"Yeah…," Robin said. "You know….for visiting on such short notice, you really got to know Raven a lot. In fact, you probably learned more about her in two days than the rest of us did in two years. Just because we were so—well—not ourselves lately during Raven's time of dire need."

"If there's one thing I've learned," Sandy said, "…it's what you Titans all know."

"What's that?"

"There is no understanding Raven," Sandy said. "Not even if we tried. But—just like you—that doesn't stop me from loving her. Like a friend."

Robin smiled. "Wise words, volunteer."

"Over and out."

"Oh! Wait!" Robin insisted and spoke into the phone. "You never told us how well the fundraiser went!"

"Oh, I'll tell you another time," Sandy said. She smiled wide under her glasses. "Like one of opening nights at Westhaven over the next THREE years!!"

"Dude!! That's great!!"

"Yes!!"

And they both laughed.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

In Raven's mindscape……

"Weeee! Great to be back!!" Pink spun around and giggled. "Come on!! Smile!!"

Green pouted. "I liked the Tamaranian. She has a body to kick ass!"

"You mean she has a nice ass!" Pink giggled.

Green glared. "Listen to you. You've been in a male's body too long!!"

"Hehehehehe! And you know it!!"

Yellow bore a sarcastic grin and adjusted her glasses. "Please…she is just being herself. Being a boy or a cyborg boy or what-have-you makes no difference. Just the same you are yourself and nothing will convict you to take on a trajectory otherwise."

"Whatever," Green smirked and palmed her fist. "I'm just glad we got to get into some action!!"

Yellow groaned. "You have no sense of urgency, do you?! You only get swayed by instances of action and thus are self-gratified!"

"Heeeeeey!" Pink leaned over gray and smiled. "What you got there?!"

Gray held a small bird of obsidian energy that chirped. She looked up and gave a pensive smile. "I-I think I'll call it 'Robin'!"

"Pfft!!" Green rolled her eyes. "They're all swooning. The Titans need more girls."

Yellow looked off towards the black canyon leading into the stone. "We have enough of girls. Soon we will have a Woman."

They all nodded…eyeing the canyon listlessly.

Down the winding passageway of stone, true Raven—blue Raven—stood at the end. She took a deep breath, drew fingers across her brow, and chanted:

"Azarath……Metrion……Zinthos………"

The ground opened up. The torches flickered as the wrought iron cell floated deep into the obsidian rock. The windows had been replaced with pure black. There was no verbal protesting from the Rage sealed inside. Just a low-level grumbling that shook into oblivion as the chains slurped down into the hole and the ground closed up.

Raven sighed.

She spun around and was about to exit out of her mind when she glanced up to the top of the canyon…and froze.

The form of a teenage girl looked down at her. Tall. Short blonde hair. Blue eyes.

Raven squinted.

The girl stared silently down at her. A touch of wind kicked at her wisps of blondeness. She smiled. Waved. And disappeared.

Raven gasped. "Who…………is she…………?"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Outside the Tower, on the bluffs overlooking the crashing waves, I sat.

I gently stabbed Myrkblade into the shallow waters lapping up at my legs. I raised the blade, paused, and stabbed down again.

Lethargic….sleepy…..alone…..

My black eyes curved under my dark shades. I stared at the smooth waters and sighed.

On my arms, chest, and legs…bandages covered the bruises that Trigon had formed during the two days of possession.

But there was a deeper wound that bled unfixed.

And even though I felt her walking down from the heavens and hugging me with ghost limbs….this time it didn't heal up.

When I swallowed, there was a soreness in my throat.

Because I knew….I knew….

I would never be the same Titan again.