Chapter 3: Joker Part 2
While I was taking a bath in some non-FDA rated chemicals, a rather amusing conversation was taking place above me.
"So, Kimmie, I figure it's gonna be kinda hard to find yourself a new sidekick once word gets out what happened to the last one?" Shego asked with a huge smile on her face.
"Shut up, Shego!" Kim punched her and knocked her out cold. Soon enough, the cops showed up, handcuffed Shego then sent her off to Arkham. Eh, good riddance.
Even though I didn't know it till later, Kim left the chemical plant at that point. Apparently, she couldn't believe I was dead.
I suppose she must have at least one working brain cell left, because I wasn't. After what seemed an eternity, I finally climbed out of that damned acid bath.
I ralphed purple crap from the chemicals. My skin was white, scars and lips blood red. Go figure.
I also had green hair. My freckles were no longer there on my face. Again, go figure. That musta been some NASTY shit I took a bath in.
My clothes were ruined, big surprise. Then it started raining when I staggered outside.
"AHAHAHAHA!" I laughed like a madman. Rain poured down on my head as I headed for home.
At home I decided to burn my Zorpox costume. I mean, really, what was I thinking? A nice suit would be better. So I give Sweeney Todd a call. Mr. Todd is one of the best tailors for villains, after all.
Decided to go ahead on working on my new inventions, which'll take a while. I'll make them all pay. Tricity deserves a better class of villain and I'm gonna give it to them. May as well get rid of the mission clothes too. Burn, burn, burn!
I noticed Rufus was hiding from me. When he saw me come home, I bet he bolted. Too bad. Ah well, that part of my life was over anyway.
Next day at school, everyone was sad to hear that I'd died. Tara stared to cry. She'd had a crush on me at one time. Hmm, maybe I should keep an eye on her. She's not too difficult on the old optic nerves, after all.
Josh hugged Kim as she cried into his chest. Now I remember why I always called him Monkey instead of Mankey.
Screw it. I decided to go pick up my new suit. Paid off Mr. Todd, and added a generous tip.
"Stop on by again any time, Mr. Joker."
Cool name. "Thanks, I will."
The pleasantries over with, I went to the dressing room. Put on my yellow pants, then the red shoes. Next was the black long sleeve shirt followed by a red, black and yellow vest. Last I put on a red trench coat and a yellow tie. Clipped on a chain to my pants. Combed back my green hair. Put on my black gloves. Got out of the dressing room. And then...
I saw Drakken. Jesus Christ - no, wait, I'm Jewish - but still, I couldn't believe what I was seeing for a second.
Half of his face was badly burned, and he had a coin in his hand. The guy was wearing a suit which was half black and half blue. The tie and shirt were the same, like the suit. One shoe was black, the other shoe blue.
Talk about the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde look. Well, at least I don't look that bad. Not that there's anything wrong with the crazy look, but not even Shego would work for the guy in his current condition - may she burn in hell, the bitch.
I walked out of the store. Decided to go to Josh's house. I waited for him to come home like a good boy.
He opened the front door when I knocked, and I swear his eyes bulged out like a frog's as soon as he recognized me. Then I hit him over the head with a crowbar.
THUMP! He fell to the floor like a sack of potatoes. I musta knocked him out cold. Well, obviously, that was no fun.
So I pulled him out the door by his arms. Picked up the crowbar and put it in my coat. I took Josh to an old warehouse, one I remembered from the old days. Tied him to a chair. Slapped Josh upside the head a couple of times. His eyes finally started to open.
"Good, you're still alive. Well, for now," I chuckled darkly.
"What the hell do you want from me?" Monkey sounded panicked. I kinda liked that.
Pulled out my switchblade from my coat pocket. Tossed the switchblade back and forth for a while. A grin came across my face. "Why so serious? Come on, pal. Turn that frown upside down. You gotta face oblivion with a smile on your dial!"
I grinned when I saw the shock and terror in his eyes. On yeah, I kept grinning as I cut a smile on the pretty boy's face and put the switchblade away. It's a shame that Kim isn't here with us this fine evening, come to think of it, and I actually say so.
"You stay away from her! If you hurt her, I'll..."
"You'll do what? Stop me?" I let loose an insane laugh. I mean, heck, that was the ultimate joke as far as I was concerned.
Took out the crowbar from my trench coat. "Before I kill you, Monkey, I have something to say. Nothing personal, but the fact that you tried to steal my girlfriend - make that EX-girlfriend, sorry - means only one thing. And what is that, you ask? Simple. The joke's on you." I hit him in the ribs with the crowbar.
A pained grunt. "Ron-"
"Ron? Ron's dead, my friend. No one here by that name anymore, nosiree. I'm the Joker now."
I hit him again, harder. Then again, and again, and again. He coughed up blood, but not as much as I wanted to see. His ribs were now broken, given he's bleeding from the mouth. Josh's lungs must have been perforated. I don't know how he did it, but he fell down on the floor still tied to the chair. I lifted him up off the floor, and he started choking.
Thirty seconds later, Josh was dead. I sighed. Guess I overdid it a bit with the crowbar. Ah well, I guess the joke was on me after all, I'd wanted this to last a lot longer.
Put a Joker card in his hand. I figure, maybe the joke was still on him - or maybe KP, when she found out what happened to her lover boy.
"AHAHHAHAHA!" Laughing, I left the warehouse.
Even though I didn't know it, Wade soon called Kim and told her what had happened to Josh. Darned if I can figure out how he learned about it so fast. Anyway, when Kim got there, she saw the police cars at the scene of the crime.
"Oh God, no!" she screamed, as soon as she saw the body.
Let's face it, folks, our heroine was not having a good week...
To Be continued..