Chapter 5 Agent of Chaos Part 1

I'm glad I made the headlines today. I'm the Joker, it makes me want to laugh.

"AHAHAHAHAH!"

Hmm, I think I need to put a bit more 'oomph' in it. "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Well, what the hell. Maniacal bwa-ha-ha-ha's make me want to start tossing the newspaper in the air. But that gets old fast, so I decided to sit back down to eat breakfast. It's the most important meal of the day, no joke.

What was a joke, as far as I was concerned, was that within Arkham, Two-Face was sitting a table with Shego.

"Long time no see, Dr. D."

"Likewise, Shego." Holy shit, they're currently locked up in the loony bin - and yet they're acting like they're still 'business as usual' in his lair? Retards, both of them.

Well, I had other priorities at the time, namely watching Mr. Barkin get into his car. KA-BOOM! The car blew up in flames. I left a couple of Joker cards as I left the scene, my heart singing with joy. Sure hope they don't start to burn.

Meanwhile, Mr. Possible had just ordered pizza. Kim was on a mission, and Tim and Jim were at a friend's house. And how did I know that, you may ask? Simple. I do my homework.

So I ring the doorbell. "I'll get it!" KP's dad said. I actually heard him say that, the schmuck. You'd think he'd totally forgotten my parents had been killed in their home a short while ago.

So when he opened the door, the pizza guy - yours truly in disguise, of course - pulled out a gun. BANG! BANG! Both Mr. and Mrs. Possible collapsed on the floor, bleeding out. I hafta admit, it just wasn't as much fun as I thought it'd be.

I put the gun away, then took out a switchblade from my pants pocket. I smiled as I cut smiles into their faces with my blade. Painted their faces white, then the scars and their lips red. Set them in the chairs. Then I put their heads face down on the table. Oooh, mustn't forget Joker cards in Mr. Dr. P and Mrs. Dr. P's hands.

Once that was done, I returned to the good old hideout. I was pretty sure GJ and Wade wouldn't find my hideout, no matter how hard they tried, but it doesn't pay to take chances. Took off my mask. Then the fake hands which covered my white hands like gloves. Put the pizza guy disguise into a closet.

Sat down on the couch to watch TV, while eating my pizza. Hey, no point in letting it go to waste, is there?

A while later, I got a tip-off. I went over to Arkham, just in time to see Drakken/Two-Face and Shego take out the guards during their escape attempt. They came to a wall, and Shego must have made a ball of plasma between her hands and fired it at the damn wall!

BOOOOM! There's a big hole with a green glow, what's left of the wall wouldn't be enough to restrain a mouse let alone a supervillain.

At that moment, I was kinda torn. I mean, it would give me SUCH a happy to slice open Shego's throat for what she did to me. Two-Face not so much, but her - definitely.

And yet, SOMETHING held me back. I don't know what - maybe a leftover from that Mystical Monkey Power. After the glow died down, I let them make their escape. All good things in time, I guess.

Speaking of which, I hired a couple of goons to kidnap Bonnie on her way home from school. I had plans for that girl, so I had them tie her up at the abandoned circus grounds.

"Let me go!"

"Shut up!" One of the goons was about to hit her with his gun. But I stopped him.

"No hitting BonBon with a gun, ya big ape. That wasn't what I hired you for."

"Sorry, boss." Hmm, maybe I should let him live?

But then Bonnie had to open her big mouth. Girl had a serious lack of survival instincts. "So you're the Joker?" she asked me.

"Indeed I am." I let out a dark chuckle. Sometimes, it's good to be me.

"Kim will stop you!"

"Yeah, I was actually planning on that. Now, BonBon, let's tie you up above the tank and fill it with Joker venom. Won't that be fun?"

One of my goons lowered Bonnie down from the ceiling, while the other goon filled the tank. Dang, but they took their own sweet time about it. Good help is hard to find, I swear.

"Don't worry, it'll be all over soon. AHAHAHAHA!" I say to dear old Bonnie, as I put a blade to hang next to the rope. Ready to cut, any time.

"I can't believe I'm going to to die, this is so unfair!" Bonnie started weeping.

"Well, start believing it BonBon." I laughed madly. Damn, but she actually has a nice body. Amazing how the sight of her can suddenly turn me on at a time like this.

"Kim Possible is here, boss." Ah, that's the goon I was considering letting him live. I guess his chances of survival just got better.

"Then let the game begin."

A timer started to count down to zero. As the blade started cutting Bonnie's rope, Kim got past all the deadly traps with just a few cuts. Well, good for her - I don't want her to die just yet.

I licked my scarred red lips. At that moment, KP was actually making me kinda horny. "Kim, you made it in one piece. Congratulations."

"This ends now, Joker!"

"Honey, that's what you think."

Time was running out for BonBon. What would KP do? Of course, I knew what she would do - there was a time I would have been right there helping her do it. But that was before Josh, and before Shego.

The goons came in holding pipes and guns. Kim took out the goons while I got away. POW! BAM! HI-YAH! KA-POW!

Just as I thought. The goons lay on the ground as Kim fired her hair dryer, and saved Bonnie before she fell into the tank of Joker venom.

"Bonnie, are you alright?"

"Not really, Kim."

She untied good ol' BonBon, and then came after me. The Joker, that is. Amazing how she hasn't figured out who I really am yet. Hmm, should I tell her?

Hearing laughter behind her, KP turned around but no one was there.

Looking down, she finally saw the bomb I'd sent rolling her way.

To Be Continued