A/N: This train is chugging to one of its last stops, people. Those that have stuck with it for the entire run, you guys are awesome.

Forewarning here, you guys have been leaving reviews commenting on how sad this is. Just letting you know, the last few chapters were, believe it or not, the happy chapters. Angst-phobes, I warn you right now, there's choppy waters ahead.

"In the space between yes and no, there's a lifetime. It's the difference between the path you walk and the one you leave behind; it's the gap between who you thought you could be and who you really are; it's the legroom for the lies you'll tell yourself in the future." – Jodi Picoult

Chapter 14: We'll Have A Good Time, Then

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"So Lily," Barney said when she walked in the door, carrying her bagged lunch. "You up for that foursome now?"

Robin gave a snort of laughter from the corner, as Lily's brow furrowed in confusion.

"God, Barney. Does nothing stop you from thinking about sex?"

Barney considered it for a grand total of about four seconds, before responding proudly. "No."

Lily shook her head, reminding Barney of the looks she gave her kindergarteners when he had visited (Feely the Share Bear still rested in a secret place inside his mostly empty briefcase, not that he'd ever admit it to anybody).

Lily took a seat on the sleeping chair Robin used most nights and dug into her pitiful lunch of salad and crackers. Robin perched on the edge of Barney's bed and laid her hand on the bed sheets, close to Barney's hand but not touching it.

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Robin was home. Barney could not remember the time where she had last left for longer then it took to go the bathroom or get some food, but Barney had finally forced her out with a firm, "you seriously stink, Scherbatsky."

Luckily, Marshall arrived a good ten minutes after Robin's departure.

As soon as he walked in the door, Barney locked his blue eyes onto Marshall's, his voice quieter but full of clarity and calm.

"You talk to your lawyer friend about the will?"

He nodded sadly, and handed it to Barney.

"You're all good, man."

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Barney was getting used to the drug-induced hazes. He couldn't sleep ordinarily with the medley of voices that rang through the hall, but the drugs they gave him for the steadily worsening pain (everywhere), numbed everything. It was actually hard to distinguish the times he was sleeping from the times he was awake. Really, Robin was the only thing he kept any element of an eye out for.

So on an otherwise ordinary Wednesday, he was surprised to find one voice sticking out from the blur. And when the owner of his voice strode into the room, Barney could not stop the smile that flooded his face. And when his girlfriend followed, arms around Barney's brother, who held his legendary nephew, he was pretty damn sure it was the most awesome thing he'd ever seen.

"James!" he squealed. No, not squealed, yelped. Yelped was much manlier.

"Baal," Gregory squealed, flailing his arms for his uncle. Barney reached out and held him to his chest, revelling in the very alive feeling of the two-year-old squirming against him. Looping an arm around Robin's waist, he yanked her down on the bed with him.

"What the hell is this?" Barney asked, still smiling. "What are you doing here?"

"You're joking, right? You didn't think I'd miss this for the world? First time I've seen you in anything but a suit in years. I don't think anyone will believe me."

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When Barney came awake again, Ted was flipping through the newest issue of Bro Magazine, glancing up when Barney moved.

"You realize this constitutes stalking," Barney murmured, trying to sit up a little straighter.

Ted chuckled, helping as much as he could.

"Where's Robin?" Barney asked. It wasn't often he woke up to find her not there.

"She went home to get a new change of clothes. Said she'd be back in an hour or so."

"Please tell me this change of clothes is going to involve a negligee. Or a corset, maybe."

"I think she was saving up to get a new one for your rumoured foursome."

"Yeah, about that. How do I tell Lily that the foursome would be even better if Marshall were replaced with some nice young blonde?"

"I didn't know that was your thing, Stinson," Robin intoned from the doorway, a new bag thrown over her shoulder. "But if you'd like, I can ask Josh, who works at the station. Abs like a washboard."

"Not what I had in mind."

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Barney had reached a new low.

It was humiliating really.

The loss of the suits had been a hard blow. Losing his hair had been devastating. Losing a hundred pounds and counting, no longer able to drink beer, and the decreased (to nearly nothing) sex drive had all been almost unbearable. But this was horrible.

He was so bored, he was watching Harry Potter.

At the very least, Robin was suffering through this special kind of hell with him. Currently, they were sitting through the bit where the girl punched the only dude in there with any fashion sense. Seriously, did nobody else know how to coordinate darks with medium darks? The blond hair, also, which he chose to view as a small, almost unconscious homage to yours truly, was admittedly flattering.

Robin, however, who was lying against him, occasionally inputting a commentary on the behind the scenes production ("over 3000 girls auditioned for the role of Cho Chang, you know. How did that girl get the part?), was also keeping a protective hand on Barney's 'puke pail', much to his humiliation. It wasn't often that he had the strength to sit up, much less vomit, anyway.

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It got hazier and hazier, but Barney knew when his best times were. He hadn't gotten any in months, which he was starting to be okay with it. That, more than anything, was a sign that he was going round the bend. Barney Stinson could seduce a woman at the worst of times. He had once slept with a mediocre looking woman he picked up in a used-car sales lot, just because it had been three whole days since his last bimbo.

So when every day he saw Robin there, there caring for him with no thought to how she did not have someone who could so much as walk, Barney was constantly amazed.

Damn, his girl put every other girl to shame.

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Barney wasn't an idiot. He knew what was happening to him.

Robin knew too, Barney knew she did.

But denial was a wonderful state to live in.

And if she wanted to keep living under this delusion, Barney was happy to oblige her.

He'd never been one to tell her no, anyway.

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A/N#2: Next chapter's the end of this, folks. Last chapter's been written for awhile, and I actually think it's really good, wraps up the story nicely. The more reviews, the quicker it's up. What that shameless? It sounded shameless...