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Still EPOV:

We sat on the couch again, the very place where this sexual crap all started. And where everything would end. I stared at Bella, she sat with her arms crossed. I was memorizing her beautiful face, her hair, her clothes. Everything I could. I remembered all the good things we shared.

"Talk Edward, it's been two hours…"

I looked at the clock. I didn't realize the time. She watched me warily and I knew this was as good a time as any. If the road to damnation was easier to walk, I would rather do that for all eternity than what I needed to do. I could see it so clear, the heart break. Not only hers, but mine too. She slipped her hand into mine and squeezed it reassuringly.

"Bella, I don't..know how to..say this." I admonished.

"Just say it. You're leaving me." She rebuffed.

"No. I promised I would not."

"You don't want to ever turn me.."

"No, not that." I wanted to punch a hole in the wall.

"You're-"

"Just let me speak!" The anger for myself burst out of me startling her enough to where she dropped my hand. My eyes quickly dissipated that emotion. "I'm sorry, Bella...I'm...not pissed off with you. You are my one good thing in this world. Remember that."

She stared up at me with the most beautiful eyes and I knew that if I were human I would break down and cry every last tear I had. She trusted me so much and it was unwarranted. I kept letting her down. We would play the cat and mouse game until I gave in. If I felt she would be better off with out me, I went away. Everything I did was for Bella's benefit. But this would benefit no one. No one at all.

"Listen to me. Don't comment until I am through. Unless I ask you otherwise. Can you do that?" At her reluctant bob of her head I continued. "Well, remember the family I told you we had …" She bobbed her head again. "The one, Tanya, I told you about…?"

"Yes…"

"That night you were having a nightmare. I was hurting you in it. You said you hated me. I was too rough with you in the closet at school and that never should have happened. I didn't mean to cause you all of this." Her eyes widened and then lowered. "I bruised your arm when I grabbed you. I was so jealous of you going out with Mike. I had been walking along with Alice when she got the vision and I told her my intentions. If I played them out a certain way, if you would give in or fight me. I just wanted you to know I would never rape you. I already knew you would let me touch you however I wanted despite your protests. That being said, it's not the reason why I've been acting so weird lately…"

"I know you wouldn't hurt me on purpose, Edward…"

"Please, let me finish." I wonder if vampire's could have panic attacks. "I left you that night and I went to Denali…I was looking for Carmen. I needed to get an opinion from someone. It helps me when I don't know what to do. You know how much I beat myself up for everything that I inflict upon you…I wanted to hear advice not from the usual people. My family adores you. I needed a dose of reality. I ran into Tanya instead. We talked and then..I don't know how it happened Bella."

"You don't know what?" She was confused.

"I slept with Tanya."

All the air sucked out of the room. I heard Bella's heart stop for a fraction of a second and I sensed she was possibly going into shock. Her breathing became raspy and her lips quivered. I am sure she was going over that last phrase over and over again. She was most likely thinking she couldn't possibly of heard me correctly.

"You didn't. No, you wouldn't do that to me." Her voice became almost shrilly. Her eyes darted back and forth like a mad person's.

"Bella…" I moved to grab her into my arms and hug her to me. I just wanted to take her pain away. Needed to. She moved away, and off the couch, holding her hands out in front of her.

"Don't..don't touch me." Her voice was choked up with the tears that she would soon shed.

"Bella, my love."

"No, no, no. Don't call me that." She began pacing back and forth. Was she going crazy? "You, get out." I tried to plead with her and hold her again. She darted quickly away from me. "Get out now!"

My hands fell to my sides. "I never meant to hurt you Bella."

"Yea, well, too late for that. Did you think of that when you were…" Her shoulders shook and she gripped the back of the couch. "Just leave…for now..please..I don't beg much but I need you to go.."

I did what she asked. I didn't want to go but I was caught in a Catch-22. How can you console the person hurting if you were the culprit? I backed up to the door. As much as it would kill me to go, I knew I needed to give her time. I would be back tomorrow.

"I love you Bella…"

BPOV:

He loves me.. I watched him leave and my mind shattered. He slept with someone else. My life was a complete joke. I wanted to give up and die. The hurt was beyond belief. I had given everything to Edward. He took my body, but not my soul. It was hopeless. Maybe I wasn't pretty enough. I couldn't compete with a female vampire. They were flawless. I was a dud.

My legs wouldn't work anymore and I slid down the side of the couch. The sobs came and I was in no shape to stop them. I was not good enough for Edward. I could never be in this form. What did she have that I didn't? Well, killer looks for starters. A nicer body perhaps, like Rosalie's. Here I was, a gangly toothpick.

I cried for hours. So spent that I could barely move. I wished I could stop breathing and perish. Every thing I thought of led me to one thing. I couldn't do that to Charlie. No matter how much I hated it, I would have to live for him. Well, you could die of a broken heart. I would just have to wait it out. Seeing Edward every day at school from here on out would give me cardiac arrest.

The phone rang non stop until I decided to pull myself up out of my stupor to answer it. I was defeated. There were no more tears left. Maybe they got sucked down into the black hole where my heart used to be. I picked up the receiver.

"Yes..Swan residence." My voice sounded so lifeless and croaky.

"Jeez, Bella, been callin' you for an hour straight." I recognized the voice but it just wouldn't register.

"Who are you looking for?" I was so befuddled. What was going on?

"Uh..you alright over there? It's me. Jacob. Jake, your best bud from the rez. The one and only Jakester." He laughed at his corniness.

"Oh, right..Hi Jake."

"You OK?" He asked again.

"Yea, I'm fine." My voice betrayed me and I nearly fell apart again right there.

"I'll be right over." His tone was serious.

"No, Jacob, please, just stay there."

"No way. You sound like you need a friend. Besides we haven't been hanging out much since you got all serious with ya boyfriend Edward. It'll be fun."

At the mention of his name I started crying.

"Whoa..yea, will be there right now."

I heard the phone click and I didn't hang it up until I heard the dial tone. I stood there staring at the phone on hook. My mind lost and in outer space. A knock sounded at the door and it brought me back. I turned to see who it was. Jake was here. Already? How long had I been standing there?

"It..it's unlocked.." I muttered.

I know I looked like crap from the way he was ogling me. I felt aged. Like I was an old woman. I swayed, I was so dizzy. I realized I wasn't breathing and I quickly took a deep breath. He took my arm and led me to the couch. I couldn't sit there. Too many memories. I didn't want to go to my room either.

"Take me to Charlie's room. I just need to have a change in scenery. Maybe it will help."

I leaned on him for support. The stairwell was spinning so quickly he practically had to carry me up them.

"Are you sure?" He questioned, raising his eyebrows.

"Oh, yea, my room's not that tidy right now." I lied. He didn't need to know why I didn't want to go in there.

"Well then." He was amused. He held me by the waist and an arm, then placed me on the side my dad's bed. I watched as he sat next to me and I conscientiously looked down at my wringing hands. "What's the matter, Bella?"

I didn't want to talk. I wanted this to end. I needed some comfort and solace. I needed a hug. I wrapped my arms around Jacob's neck and I cried. This hurt too much and I just couldn't tell him. I didn't want to utter those words to any one. He let me cry as long as I needed. He sat there quietly holding me. Is this what Edward felt like? Helpless. Like nothing would ever be right again when you feel like you messed everything up?

I kissed Jacob, before I even realized I had. His lips were soft and he returned it ardently. I just wanted someone to want me. Only me. Forget about everything else right now. He had always liked me. He didn't even date. He said he would always be my friend.

I scooted back a bit on the bed and pulled on the lapels of his shirt.

"Bella this is your father's room…I mean, come on." He covered my body with his and I cut him off with another kiss. He was so warm. I slipped my tongue into his mouth. God, I needed him closer. I wrapped my leg around his hip and pushed a hand into his pants. He wanted me, only me.

He reared his head up. "What about Edward? This is a little bit too weird for me."

"What about him?" I stroked him inside his pants, silencing any other objections. I snatched up Jacob's hand and put it on my breast. "Just touch me. Make me feel good." He was doubting it all. I could see but as I expected lust won out. It always won. I won over Edward. Tanya won over Edward. Now it will win over Jacob.

He pawed at my breast and my nipple began to throb. I wanted to forget. I needed to forget. It felt so good. He was now kissing down my neck and I shook. My clit was pulsating. I removed my hand from his erection and he lifted up just enough for me to unbutton my pants. I shimmied them off and began unbuttoning my shirt. His eyes glistened. He was probably getting his favorite dream in full blown reality. He threw his shirt off and rolled off me to take off the rest of his clothing. As I watched him I unhooked my front clasping bra and slid off my panties.

He stood there stark naked in front of me. I blushed but couldn't take my eyes off of him. I never thought much of how good he would look with out his clothes on. I was underappreciating Jacob big time. He took me in and I watched his penis harden even more. I waited for him to continue but he just stared at me.

"I don't have a condom. I didn't expect this." He admitted.

"It's OK. I don't care."

"I'm not a virgin…" He said low. I shrugged at that. I wasn't either.

"Just ..make me feel better.."

The fight was over. He had given in just like Edward had. I closed my eyes before the tears would come. Forget about Edward. Don't think, just feel. I spread my legs so Jacob could get access. I waited. Nothing. I was about to open my eyes when I felt something slick and wet brush across where I ached so unmercifully. Before I could stop myself I moved my hips against what ever it was. I wanted more of it.

I let out a loud gasp. "Oh." My eyes opened half way and I peered downward. Jacob was watching me. He was doing something unthinkable. Something that E..He..could never do. I watched as his tongue flew out again and brushed across me and my head flew back down to the pillow. It was a feeling I couldn't even describe.

He delved deeper with his tongue, past my clit and inside of me. Holding my legs open he continued driving me wild. My hand flew to his hair and I couldn't help it. I wildly grasped a fist full of it. I bucked my hips toward his mouth. Whatever he was doing was making me feel like I was in an inferno.

Gone were any thoughts of Him. Only Jacob and his mind-altering mouth held my thoughts now. I probably sounded like an alley cat in heat. I heard the echo of the sounds being forced out from my lips. I couldn't stop them, no matter how much I wanted to. I was so close.

My body started convulsing every once and a while and I opened my legs farther. I wanted more. I was so aflame. I peered down at him again. His eyes were closed and he was moaning into me. That was it. I would break into a bazillion pieces right now. His mouth began sucking on my nubbin, then after a few seconds he was clicking his tongue over it again.

"Jacob..Jacob! Oh..Jake!"I went. The catapulting orgasm nearly lifted me off the bed. My head was tossing about. I couldn't say anything but his name. The shudders continued. I watched him lay over me through my near closed eyelids. He fit perfectly between my legs.

He obviously was trying to control himself when he slid inside of me. His mouth was parted open and he was watching my face. He was large, but it wasn't uncomfortable. He began to move and by instinct I began kissing him again. Jacob was doing a very good job at distracting me. His mouth began moving every where. It was inciting me even more. He was pushing inside of me slowly, but getting pretty deep. Jacob was a very experienced lover. Absently I wondered how many girls he had in his bed and where I would rank. I quickly shook those thoughts out of my head.

He moaned against my breast, suckling on my nipple. He nibbled it a bit before swirling his tongue on it. His movements became more forceful. His mouth upon mine, his tongue mimicking his cock inside of me. Thrusting, circling, pulling nearly out, repeating.

Jacob put my legs upon his shoulders and I realized how that put him even deeper. I never imagine that even possible, or that I was so flexible. Sweat was shining on Jacob's forehead and I realized I was sweating too. He was going so much faster now. His moans mingling with my own. I didn't know who was louder, me or him.

"Bella.. I'm going to cum. What do you want me to do?" His voice was shaky and cute. He was giving me the option of having him pull out. Some girls preferred it I heard from Jessica but I didn't want to even consider it. He wasn't the only one near the end. I couldn't bear for him to leave now. I moved into his thrusts as much as I could. Telling him with my body what I wanted.

And it happened. We came together. My insides were melting. I thought I felt him shoot inside of me but I wasn't sure. It was warm, if that was so. He continued moving a bit slowly until he stilled on top of me. My legs fell back down to the bed and he disconnected himself with me.

My breathing slowed, and I held my eyes closed. I was aching down below, a dull ache. Empty feeling. I had just used Jacob. I felt so shallow about it. This wasn't me. He was my best friend. What would I say to him now? 'Oh hey Jacob, Edward cheated so you're second on the list. Congratulations. Oh by the way. I don't love you or anything. Thanks for coming by when I needed you. Ciao.'

"Bella." His voice was quiet, almost shy.

"Yes, Jacob?"

"Was that good? I didn't hurt you did I?"

"You didn't hurt me."

"Then why are you crying?"

I was? I swiped a hand across my cheeks. I really was. Just great. I was such a weak person. I just wanted to be held but in the end I made love to my best friend who just so happened to be a guy who was in love with me. I did exactly what Edward did to me.

I felt whoreish. I sat up and quickly rummaged through the pile on the floor. Where the hell were my pants? I didn't want to look at Jacob. I was beyond ashamed of myself. I understood right now exactly what happened between Edward and Tanya. I wondered if it had been that good. It shouldn't have been so good to me. Remembering the school tryst I realized strong emotions had a great influence on sex. That had to be it. I found my panties, but no pants. I was growing so frustrated. I stood up and put them back on and fixed everything else.

"They are right there." I looked where Jacob pointed. How did they get all the way over there?

After becoming fully dressed, I straightened the sheets on the bed. They got crinkled during the process. I didn't notice Jacob get dressed. I was trying to keep busy. I stopped when his arms wrapped around me from behind. His hands dipped into my pants. Despite myself, I became instantly wet and leaned back against him. I let him rub me and he sucked on my neck.

"Was this a mistake?" That was a perfect question. I was wondering that myself. Of course it was, wasn't it? I loved Edward. That never changed. "Does he make you feel as good as this?" When had Jacob become such a smooth talker? "Did he make you cream yourself on your dad's bed?" I blushed, definitely not.

"Jacob, don't, Charlie will be home soon.." I tried to eject his hand but it was futile. I leaned back against him, and he held me by the waist.

"Just let go, one last time." He rubbed me expertly and he got his wish. I blushed deeper then.

"We should go downstairs and act like none of this ever happened." That did it. He removed his hand faster than he had put it in there. I faced him to apologize.

"When did you become such a slut, Bella?" He threw at me.

Immediately I saw him want to take it back but I ran past him and down the stairs. He was right. I was. How else could I explain the things we did in that room. My father's room no less. Only a loose girl would do such a thing. My shoulders shook with the strength of my silent tears. How could I even be mad at Edward now…

Jacob's boots thudded against the stairs as he ran down them after me. He caught me and gave me a huge hug.

"I didn't mean that. Forgive me?" Forgive him? I was the one who needed forgiving.

"Only if you do the same for me."

"Done." He smiled at me and brushed my tears away. I cried too much. I studied his face. It was real. He was over with being mad but I could still tell his pride was wounded a bit. "Why were you crying in the first place?"

"I..uh..Edward and I had a major fight."

"And I was the pick you upper? Only cost you $19.95 plus tax." I laughed. He was so silly. Just what I needed right now. "You want me to fight him for your honor?"

"Nope. I think it's tarnished now anways." I jokingly quipped back. I sort of really felt that way.

"Well, I have to get home before my own Dad has a cow. Don't hesitate to call me if you need anything." I couldn't help all this darn blushing. "That too, Bella.. I want you happy next time I see you."

I could only nod. He tried to kiss me but something was different. I couldn't. He sighed and let me go.

"Bye, Bella."

"Bye, Jake."

I closed the door behind him. I heard exactly what I didn't want. Silence. All the thoughts came at once. Me and Edward were done. I loved him but could we forgive each other? Did I even want to forgive him this? It was a horrible finish to this bitter end.