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BPOV:

I rolled my eyes as I picked up the dishes. Char…Dad was watching another football game. I made low-calorie beef stew and homemade sourdough bread for dinner and he seemed to like it good enough. I couldn't eat. I felt sick. Tomorrow wasn't coming soon enough. I huffed and picked up dad's plate and bowl. I slowly walked into the kitchen, and realized how sore I was from Jacob. A blush steamed my face. Edward had made me even worse than this.

Placing the dishes into the sink I stared out the window. I had so much hope that Edward would come tonight, but I doubt he would. Well, actually, part of me needed him here, the other part needed him to stay away from me. I had to think of what I wanted to say to him about Jacob. We were both as guilty as the other.

I washed the dishes quickly and placed them on the rack to dry. Finally the timer on the oven went off, the berry cobbler was done. I placed it on the stove and found a cooking utensil to ladle a few spoonfuls into a new bowl. It smelled good. Maybe I could eat a few bites later if my stomach would allow it.

I went to the fridge and pulled out the vanilla bean ice cream and whip cream. I know I was overdoing it after all the hell that I gave my father about eating more healthy but I figured one time wouldn't hurt. Plus, I just didn't feel like fighting with any one tonight. I took a big scoop and placed it on top of it, then sprayed a nice helping of the whipped topping.. It was missing something. Ah hah, I took a blackberry from the dish and placed it on the top-middle portion of it. Better.

I reached and snatched up a spoon, placing it on the side. Dad was still engrossed in the game, yelling every once in a while and I headed back to him. I held the bowl out to him but he didn't notice it. He yelled at the TV. The Mariner's were losing. I rolled my eyes again.

"Dad, I made you something." His eyes snapped to me, smiling.

"Thanks, Bells," He looked at it and sniffed it. "Smells great. I see you made it just how I like it."

"Lucky guess," I laughed then frowned. My stomach was churning. It was my bedtime.

"You need to talk to me. I can tell when you are bothered. You've always been readable. Those eyes hide nothing."

"Um..no, Dad. I'm OK. Just have a report due that I haven't even started." I lied. He watched me disbelieving. "And I don't feel so good. Maybe catching a cold. Still getting used to this weather."

He nodded, that he believed. "Well, I suggest you head off to bed then. I'll clean up before I head out.. You didn't even touch dinner."

"I am and I'll be fine. Night." I hugged him quickly before rushing up the stairs.

I wanted to delay going to my room and having to sleep for as long as possible. I was going to have horrible dreams. Especially after this very stupid day. I slipped into the bathroom and started the shower. I shut the door and undressed, but quickly realized I forgot to get my nightclothes. I shrugged. I will just be extra careful to check to make sure Dad was gone on my way to my room.

Before I stepped into the tub, I checked the temperature of the water. Mmm. It was so nice and hot. Steam was quickly filling the room and I let all the drama go as I stood face up in the water. It felt wonderful on my aching muscles. I stepped out of the water cascade enough to get the soap.

Images started coming to me about Edward and our first night. My dad didn't even ask me about what happened to my headboard. He just deemed me a klutzy tragedy when he replaced it. All my bruises were from me 'falling into it'. I knew he was confused about it but he didn't ask many questions. The sex had been amazing regardless of what had been destroyed.

Why was I thinking of this? I slammed the soap down. More importantly, why did I throb for Edward? He cheated on me. You did it too, you dummy. It was getting worse, and I started feeling butterflies in my stomach. I still loved him. I still wanted him like mad. I still needed him to touch me.

Without thought I had already begun rubbing between my legs. I was frustrated that I could get this way even though the current events changed everything. I still wanted to be with Edward. It bordered on obsessive the way I thought about him, hungered for him. I bit my lip silently when I entered the throws of my orgasm.

EPOV:

I wondered if she noticed me standing there. I had watched her touch herself and the familiar conditions she invoked arose. I wanted to bring her orgasm to fruition myself but I was here on other important matters. My penis would have to wait.

I replaced the shower curtain and stepped back. The water stopped after a few minutes and Bella began humming her lullaby. My eyes closed painfully. Too much. It was all becoming too much. I opened them to the glorious sight of her buttocks as she dried her hair then the rest of her body. I was completely still. If she were to look at me she would have seen a deep sadness in my eyes. And longing.

She looked up into the mirror, and I knew she saw me. Her eyes widened and she whipped around. A strangled soft gasp passed through the perfect pink of her lips. In her shock she had dropped her towel. I took in the angelic beauty of her and I hadn't even realized subconsciously I had moved to closer in front of her.

I wrapped my hands into her wet tresses and brought my mouth down to hers. I crushed against her mouth. My kiss was full of devastation and love. Emptiness and hope. I didn't want to have to do this. I didn't want to believe. I broke away after a few moments.

"Couldn't you have picked anyone other than him?" I said slowly. Gut wrenching emotions kicked up within me.

Her eyes immediately brimmed with tears and she started to speak but I shushed her. I didn't want to hear her words. This was the end and I wanted to stop it but I saw no way. I kissed her, yes, but to touch Bella any further than that would be agony. Especially when the onslaught of her saying Jacob's name over and over again as she succumbed to bliss were so prevalent.

I had so many conflicting feelings about Bella. I was angry and I wanted to shout at her and never speak to her again. I wanted to hold her to me and take her again and again. Reclaim her as mine. I wanted to leave and go as far away as I could. I wanted to die once more just to clean the memories from my mind. I wish she could beat me. I drove her to this. How could I even be mad at her? After all, she was human. What was my excuse?

My topaz eyes looked over her face in wonder. I had done this to us. Brought the apocalypse down upon our heads. Now we both would incur the wrath. I wasn't ready. I kissed her forehead slowly. I was tired of leaving her but her close proximity was luring me into the final hours of my damnation. I wanted to make her a vampire just to keep Jacob away from her.

Jacob. He wanted Bella from the first moment they met again. He had been plotting ways to get her alone and interested in him. Was it coincidence that we ran across each other in the mall? It had to be. Even he wasn't that malicious. It just so happened these untimely events played out like a symphony. He was still on a mystic high when he walked into the jewelry store. He wanted to buy her some earrings. That's when I was nearly floored and Jasper and Alice had to literally drag me out with out notice.

I wanted to kill him. I would have killed him. But then again, it was my fault. No one to blame but me. I let him touch my Bella, and for that I was scarred for life. I could never look at her the same. A tad hypocritical I am sure. I probably looked just as bad or worse to her. Space was good, or it could be bad. Whichever, I had made my choice.

"I have to go Bella. I will see you around." I was so nonchalant about it but my dead heart cracked. The line was going deeper by the minute and my heart was destroyed.

BPOV:

Four and a half weeks had passed and I was so depressed that I couldn't function. I had aced my report but I started struggling after that. I was pulling C's a few weeks ago but I finally did all my make-up work and extra credit so I should be making B's by now. I had seen Edward and his family almost every school day since. Alice looked over at me and I looked down at my plate of untouched food. I couldn't see the plate through my tears that were forming.

Every one was at the table today, chatting as if nothing changed. Mike and Jessica flirted shamelessly. I think for Mike it was just to try to get me to see what I had lost. Eric was chatting with Angela about prom coming up. Tyler was talking to his football buddies about scary movies. And I, sad and pathetic sat doing nothing. Pining to be over with Edward.

After lunch school went pretty fast thankfully. It always seemed to drone on and on. I just wanted to get home and sleep like I'd been doing. My dad said that he had a surprise for me when I got home. I hated surprises but I couldn't help myself. I was slightly excited. I needed something good to look forward to.

When the bell rang, I snatched up my things and headed directly for my truck. As I walked across the lot I briefly glimpsed Edward. He didn't look at me though I could tell he wanted to. He was good at playing Keep Away. Too good.

I tripped over my shoelace and slammed stomach first into the open door. It knocked the wind out of me and I sucked in air painfully. I saw Edward get out of his car, but I just shook my head at him. No matter how bad I wanted Edward, I didn't want him to come to me out of straight pity. My pride was too strong, for now. I rubbed my stomach and then proceeded to get in.

EPOV:

Bella was doing these things on purpose, I could swear. She had more accidents in the past few weeks than she had in her whole life time. Wait, no, that would be nearly impossible. She was an injury magnet. More so with out me. I missed her so badly.

"Go to her Edward." Alice said quietly.

I shook my head and watched Bella drive off.

"Humph, can you just get over the human already? It's getting droll!" I rolled my eyes at Rosalie. Shut the hell up, I wanted to reply. Emmett just looked at me and shrugged. Everyone was thinking the same. Enough was enough and I should stop being an ass about it and succumb to what she so obviously wanted. To put it frankly, I was scared to. I was haunted by the fact she was touched by Jacob. Even more so since she didn't know the bitter truth about him and what he had become while he was away.

I stopped going to her room at night but I would patrol the perimeter around her house instead. Just to make sure she was safe. Well, that was what I told myself. I pretty much just wanted to keep an eye on her and make sure she had no more visitors to her bed. Jasper had called me selfish many times because of it. I was some kind of control freak. Funny, that coming from him.

I started the car and pulled out of the student parking lot. This was going to be a long day..

BPOV:

Weird. My dad was home and he was usually gone. Must have been a slow one. I grabbed my book bag out and hopped down from the car, slamming the door behind me. Great. Quality time with the parent. Dad and I had spoke less and less these days. My stomach churned at that moment. I didn't feel well. I needed to eat more probably. It was hard to do when you didn't even feel like getting out of bed.

"Dad, I'm home." I walked through the door and hung up my jacket and book bah. I'll do homework later.

"In the family room." He called back.

As soon as I went in there I noticed the flat screen was off. Oh, boy. He was going to give me the "Depression Hurts Everyone" talk again. I braced myself for it as I flounced down on the couch next to him. He was looking at me the way a parent always did before they said something that would be uncomfortable for the both parties.

I noticed a bag on the table from the pharmacy. My face flushed. He finally decided to get me crazy pills. That's just great. I wasn't crazy..well not really. I hadn't attempted to commit suicide, nor have I been engaging in any reckless behaviors besides not eating. But that didn't mean I was depressed. I was so consumed with school work that I didn't even think of eating.

"Follow me, Bella." Dad got up and I could tell he was indomitable about all of this. I did as told in silence. At the end of the brief walk we stood in the upper stair hallway. He handed me a cup of water from his nightstand and the bag. Well, more like forced them into my hands. "Now take this."

I felt like he was sort of treating me like I was in an insane asylum. Fine I will take the damn pills just to get him off my back. I went into the bathroom and placed the cup on the edge of the sink. He watched me and relief flooded his eyes. Oh yes, dad I was going to humiliate myself. Oh, not only is Bella klutzy but she's also crazy.

I angrily reached in the bag and pulled the pills out. My heart dropped. What? Wait. It wasn't pills at all, but a pregnancy test. I stared at my dad as if he had three heads. He was kidding right? I swallowed slowly. I wasn't freakin' pregnant. This was going to the top of my list of 10 most embarrassing things. Fine, whatever.

"Just take it." He crossed his arms and I gave him that face. Yes, he definitely had a tri-dome. I was going to appease him but I wasn't happy about it. I ripped open the box and slammed the door in his face. Nice present, DAD. I thought, kicking the wall. Ouch!