66. Vacation

At the round table of the Main Room…..

"Well, for one thing, Cyborg, how's a trip like this going to be comfortable? I mean…it's tough enough as it is squishing all six of us into your T-Car."

"Don't you worry our spikey little head over that, Robin!" Cyborg beamed. "I've been making adjustments to the T-Car. Modifying it. The chassis is wider and the interior a bit more spacious. We should all be able to sit inside no problem now."

"Dude," Beast Boy grinned. "I thought you made that thing to be like a sports car, not a Hummer!"

"Oh yeah!" Cyborg snapped a titanium finger and pointed. "It's worthy to mention that I momentarily uninstalled the photon cannon…..sooooooo," he leisurely kicked his feet up onto the tabletop, annoying Raven. "Who's for riding in a convertible through the Smokey Mountains??"

Beast Boy jumped in his seat. "Phat!! I can't wait to try that out now!!"

"You and me both, little man!"

"You seriously don't expect us all to drive miles and miles with the top of the T-Car off….," Raven muttered. "It's a hot and humid summer, the weather is getting muggier and muggier, and—in case you haven't noticed—God made these little things called 'bugs'."

"The electric field generator on the front of the T-Car will take care of any infinitesimal winged creatures that'll fly over the dashboard," Cyborg proudly winked.

"And kill a few birds and raccoons while we're at it," Raven droned.

Robin cleared his throat. "Um….a vacation sounds nice, Cyborg. But….wh-where exactly are we going to go?"

"What?!?!" Cyborg cackled and waved his arms. "WHAT?!?! You don't ask that, man!! You don't jinx it!!"

"I'm afraid I don't catch your drift…."

"We go wherever the road takes us!!" Cyborg beamed. "Just hop in the car, load up on gas, and vrooooom!!"

"As long as the 'vroooooooom' takes us through North Carolina…," Raven hummed with a tiny smirk. "I hear there're a lot of ghost hunts and haunted battlefields there."

"No way!! We're going to the beach first!" Beast Boy grinned a crescent moon. "That's where all the ladies are!!"

"I'm a lady…," Raven glared.

"Ahem….happy ladies in bikinis."

"Those aren't ladies," Raven replied. "Those are culturally brainwashed, anorexic waifs of a hormonally subjugated society, built around the patriarchal bias of overt sexuality and feminine stereotypes."

Beast Boy blinked. "Did a stork drop you on the front door of Yale or something?"

"We can do the beach, we can do the mountains, and if necessary—" Cyborg squinted at Raven and Beast Boy, "---we can do the paintball field."

"Huh??" both beast and dark girl uttered at once.

Starfire giggled. "I am ecstatic! If we are indeed to embark upon this odyssey, I hope to record and commemorate every sight and sound we come across! This Earth is certainly splendid with its cache of bugs, asphalt, ghosts, and bikinis!!"

"Er….," Cyborg sweatdropped. "I think you'll enjoy the pounding surf of the beaches and the green forests of the mountains all the more, Starfire."

The alien girl blinked. "Then these 'bikinis' I keep hearing about are not equally glorious? Quite often I hear of you and Beast Boy exalting 'bikinis' on a regular basis, and I felt so inclined to see them for myself!"

All the boys in the room blushed and scratched their necks.

Raven rolled her blue eyes and sighed. "Whatever the case, Starfire…this will certainly be a learning experience for you."

"Hehehehe!" Starfire smiled, her eyes shut. "Glorious!! Mountains and bikinis await!"

"Y-Yeah…," Beast Boy smiled crookedly. "Couldn't have said it better myself."

Robin cleared his throat. "Now…it sounds like we all are interested in doing this. Am I right?"

"Yup!"

"Boo-Ya!"

"Definitely!"

"Sure…"

"But the question is 'how?'!" Robin remarked. "We can't just…..abandon this City!"

"What's to abandon??" Beast Boy gestured. "Oh, woe to the harrowing task of watching the plaster dry on the sides of buildings! I never thought I'd hear myself saying this, but I'm bored now that crime is taking a holiday!"

Cyborg finally admitted: "You never can know. Perhaps every thug in the City is waiting for us to high-tail it out of here before they do their dirty deeds."

"Aaaaugh!" Beast Boy slumped his head to the table. "But we need this vacation!! I need this vacation! You realize how long it's been since I've put the move on a cute girl from out of town?!"

"Ummmm….," Cyborg blinked….then smirked. "It depends. Do you believe in reincarnation?"

Beast Boy stuck his tongue out.

"I'll take that a 'yes'."

"Hey!!"

"Ha ha ha!!"

"Well…with necessity and etiquette ruling over us…," Raven spoke, "It looks like we're stuck here."

"Awwwwwww," Starfire cooed.

Robin smirked. "Don't fret just yet. I've been working on something."

Cyborg gave him a sideways glance with his human eye. "What're you up to?"

"You'll see," Robin leaned back. "Just know that I want a vacation like this just as much as you guys do."

"I find that surprising…," Raven droned.

"Why's that?"

"Because you're Robin."

The Boy Wonder blinked from behind his eyemask. "Yes…well…I recognize it when my teammates and I have earned some time off. And believe me…it's been royally, legitimately earned."

"Sooooo glad you worry about your teammates," Raven rolled her eyes.

Robin glared at her.

A beat.

Beast Boy blinked. "Say….where's Noir?"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

SWOOOOSH!!

I slashed Myrkblade forward and froze in a crouching position.

I held my breath. Meditated. Tensed my muscles. And after half a minute---

SWISSSH-SLASH!!!

I spun around and stood up with an upwards swing of my sword.

I held my breath. The sawgrass of the island's beachside swished around me. Waters lapped gently up against the bluffs. The Sun shone down and glinted off my synthetic left hand that clung to Myrkblade alongside my flesh.

I waited in that position forever….feeling the strain…the need to fall.

I blinked under my shades.

CHIIIIING!!!!

I knelt down low in half a second, Myrkblade stuck in its scabbard.

One second….two seconds….three---

CHIIIING-SLASH-SLASH-SWOOSH!

I unsheathed Myrkblade, spun three times with it stretched outwards, and jabbed towards the Tower.

Grass swayed in a path away from my blade as the smoke died down and the air's tranquility returned.

I swallowed.

I stood up straight—relaxing outside of meditation. I stared at my left hand. I tossed the hilt into its grasp. I spun Myrkblade around with titanium fingers. SWISH-SWISH-SWISH-SWISH-SWISH!! I ended the twirl with a jab towards the sky. SLASH!! My black eyes narrowed.

Almost feels natural. Gotta work on the friction, though. I keep fearing the blade's going to slip out of the metal fingers.

I twirled it around once more and gripped it hard. I held my breath. Smoke danced out from under my shades as I sent a wave of murk up my left limb and into the metal. Tendrils of black vapors swam off the flesh, onto the prosthetic, wound through the joints and metallic ligaments, and coursed into the blade which charged up with obsidian fury.

I smirked.

I spun and slashed at a nearby rock.

SWOOOOSH!!!

CRACK!!!

The boulder broke to rubble.

I grinned.

Still got the touch……

I let loose the murk and tossed the blade into my right hand. I then held my left prosthetic up and concentrated again. The smoke repeated its movement up the limb and enveloped the metal. I bit my lip and narrowed my eyes. Slowly, my left arm turned into smoke form. I then gently moved Myrkblade through it. SWISH!! The smoke of my limb swam around the blade as it went completely through and then reformed. Again I moved Myrkblade through. My left arm teleported around it.

I solidified the hand and flexed the metal muscles.

As good as new……

I breathed a sigh of relief. True, I had been testing my new hand out like this before. But an experiment isn't an experiment if it can't be repeated for the sake of empirical goodness.

My heart chilled.

I flinched with a jolt. A frosty sensation crept outward from my center, up and down my spine, and into the extremities of my limbs. I dropped Myrkblade and I hugged my arms as a sudden coldness overtook my body. I shivered. My teeth clattered. My black eyes thinned as I felt like I had suddenly been shoved straight through a meat truck.

Ah jeez……not again………

As soon as it began, it ended. The chills vibrated away. The warmth of the sun took over…and my shivering stopped.

I took a deep breath, stood up straight, and flexed my arms.

That's the second time this day…

I bent over and picked up Myrkblade with my new hand. As I gripped the hilt and lifted the weapon, I felt a slight numbness that was there then gone. It was like my titanium prosthetic was phasing in and out of existence.

It wasn't the first time.

I took a deep breath, turned around, and was about to head back to the Tower when—

"Giving the new arm a try?" Cyborg smiled.

I blinked. Sheathed my sword. And hand-signed.

Cyborg nodded in response. "That's good to hear. If I must say, you're getting used to it rather quickly."

I smiled. But something in my lips trailed.

Cyborg's human eyebrow raised. "Something's wrong….isn't there?"

I bit my lip and shrugged.

He leaned over and took a close look at my hand. "Is it…….causing the shivers again?"

I relented with a sigh and nodded.

"I was afraid of that…," Cyborg muttered. "I could swear…I've done everything I could to calibrate it just right—"

I paused him with a finger held up. I gestured something.

At 'reading' me, Cyborg looked aside and hesitantly said: "Yes. I-It's quite possible that such side effects are as permanent as the new limb…."

I nodded and smiled to console him.

But he shook his head and grumbled. "I-It's not right! It shouldn't be acting up like that! The sync of the nerves are perfect! And the chance of getting the 'shivers' from sensory fracture is a mere one in five hundred thousand!"

I held a hand up in front of him, turned it into smoke, and materialized it back to normal. I smirked.

Cyborg gave me a cynical look. "Even for nerves like yours…Noir…," he placed a hand on his metal hip. "The chances are still slim."

I shrugged.

"Are you…..s-still willing to go through with having that thing," he pointed at my left hand.

For some reason, I suddenly didn't like it being called a 'thing' anymore. I vehemently defended its existence with a gesture.

"Allright…allright!" Cyborg chuckled and patted my shoulder. "Sometime soon, Phaser Labs will graft something improved that will eliminate the random shivers. I promise you that. They're working around the clock and my Uncle Simon's on the team with them! Now ain't that special?"

I nodded with a smile.

"Come on, man," He tugged me along towards the Tower, "…we need you to help us out with this vacation plan of ours! You're part of the family, remember?"

I took a deep breath.

I remembered……

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

In the front entrance to the Tower…..

"Okay…so we take the T-Car along the Atlantic Seaboard, west through the Appalachians, then where?" Beast Boy uttered.

"I'm telling you, man!" Cyborg smiled. "Wherever the road takes us!!"

"But we gotta have a plan! Dude, come on!!"

"What's the matter, B.B.?" Robin smirked. "I thought spontaneity was your favorite thing!"

"Yeah, when I'm driving!!" the changeling put on a cartoon frown and pointed at Cyborg. "That guy scares me. You ever ridden shotgun with him before?"

"Nah…I just give that seat to Starfire," Robin said.

"Well he's a demon!!" Beast Boy cackled. "I love the idea of living life to its fullest, but not when 'its fullest' is synonymous with 'its deadliest!'"

"You got the demon part right…," Raven said, her nose in a book.

Cyborg merely chuckled and leaned back in his seat.

I smiled, leaning against the open doorway to the Tower. I flipped and shuffled a deck of cards in my titanium hand. Everyone hung around in their chairs or paced about the entranceway in a viciously bored manner as the Sun cast its dying rays in.

"Friends, we are sitting here with nothing prevalent on our list of 'to do-ness'," Starfire exclaimed and smiled. "To assist us in the efficacious solution to the question of vacationing, I suggest a communist dispersal of unhealthy junk food to appease our spirits!"

"Not sure junk food will help the head right now, Star," Robin said. "Besides, I have the perfect solution."

"We'd all like to hear it!!" Beast Boy exclaimed.

"Solution to what?!" Cyborg cackled with shrugging shoulders. "I'd say we just pack up, ship out, and be done with it!! We need this vacation, man!!"

"We all know that you're rearing to go on this thing, Cyborg," Raven uttered. She glanced up from her book, "And although your enthusiasm is contagious, we cannot ignore the fact that our presence here in this City has been and shall always be the necessity to preserve lives and ensure their safety. Just because there seems to be a sabbatical being taken by those in the criminal underworld, such is no excuse for us to—"

Beast Boy interrupted. "Raven…a little less of the dictionary and a little more action." A blink. He giggled and hugged himself. "Hehehehehehe!! Dude, that sounded so funny!"

Raven fumed. "Whatever." She returned to her book. A beat. "We still have a duty, just remember that."

"Agreed," Starfire nodded. She looked up at the other Titans. "I know how special it is for earthlings to reserve their time of leisure for intense moments of focus such as these 'vacations'. If need be, I will be glad to stay here at the Tower while the rest of you embark upon your westward trip of chaos and spontaneity."

"Awwwwww, Star!" Cyborg pouted. "That's not what we have in mind at all!"

"Yeah!" Beast Boy exclaimed. "That'd be royal suckage for us, cuz we couldn't enjoy ourselves with you staying behind!"

I tapped the cards to the doorframe.

Everyone looked at me.

I hand-signed.

Everyone looked at Cyborg.

He cleared his throat. "Um, th-that's awfully nice of you, Noir. But…you sure you'd be willing to do that?"

I nodded.

"What's he saying?" Beast Boy remarked, a question mark popping over his head.

"He says if Starfire stays, he'd stay too."

"Awwww," Starfire cooed. "The warm of the fuzzy all around!"

I blushed.

"No need for sacrifice, people," Robin said. "Star…Noir…you earned this vacation as much as the rest of us. If we go along with Cyborg's proposal, I'd like for all of us to be there. You got it? No need for any of us to get punished for the others having reverie."

"Besides…," Raven droned in her book. "Robin doesn't want anyone staying behind or else he'll be admitting that he wants some time off from the superhero business."

Robin frowned at her, an artery pulsing in his temple.

Cyborg and Beast Boy snickered and Starfire giggled as she smiled and said:

"Hehehehe…if that be the case, then I will gladly come with the rest of my friends. To think…an excursion through this continent's plethora of mountains and tourist entrapments: I am most enthused to be a part of it!"

"And what about you, Noir?" Cyborg remarked. "You're not excited to be with us or something?"

I simpered. I looked out the Tower. I saw the suspension bridge over the bay in the glittering, gold sunlight.

The West……

I swallowed, turned back to them, and lied with my hands: 'I do not have a problem if Starfire does not have a problem'.

"Good! Glad to have you join us!" Cyborg smirked.

"Yeah, we need Noir!" Beast Boy winked. "Especially when we hit those beaches."

Raven looked up…bored. "And why is that, exactly?"

"We can show him off! We can strap him to the hood of the car and go cruising down the beach! Man, I tell you, girls will be flocking all around!"

"Sure they will…," and Raven returned to her book.

"I'm telling you, he's a magnet!" Beast Boy looked at me and whispered aside his hand. "You do have swimming trunks, right?"

I raised a finger to gestu---

"Great! It's settled!" Beast Boy grinned a crescent moon and hopped victoriously. "Secret weapon to goodness! Yeah!"

I rolled my eyes under my shades.

"Hey!" Beast Boy frowned and pointed at me. "If I was handsome, I wouldn't be rolling my eye----er…..w-wait, that didn't come out the way I wanted it to."

Cyborg laughed his head off.

Starfire giggled.

"Duuuuude!! Not funny! So sometimes I slip on a joke! So what?!"

"Some joke…," Cyborg said, chuckling some more.

"Well, you're laughing, right?! That means something……huh?!"

"Do not be so hard on yourself, Beast Boy," Starfire smiled. "You and Noir are equally handsome."

I smiled at that.

"You're just saying that out of pity to save my bruised ego!" Beast Boy cackled.

"Yup." Raven.

Beast Boy glared at her.

"Oh, but it is true!" Starfire clasped her hands together. "Noir is most proficient in his exercise of having long black hair. And you are most proficient with your pointy ears."

Beast Boy blinked. "Pointy ears?" A pause. "Really?"

"Mmmhmmm," Starfire smiled.

"Yes!! I knew it! Ladies love the pointy ears!"

"Indeed," Starfire giggled. "On my planet, prominent ear lobes is a sign of---"

"Wait a minute!"

"---virility….," Starfire blinked. "Did I say something wrong?"

"On your home planet, Star?"

"Precisely!"

"Argh! But I want earth babes!"

"And what is wrong with Tamaranian infants?"

"N-Nothing! Er…there's nothing wrong with Tamaranian chicks, it's just that….well….I only know one of them….and she's….well…ya know….."

Robin looked up.

Starfire blinked. She squinted one eye suspiciously. "She is what?"

Raven glanced up from her book.

I swallowed.

Beast Boy sweatdropped. "Er….she is tall. VERY tall!"

Half the room sighed with relief.

Starfire giggled. "Yes, my height does seem to be rather prominent in comparison to earthling females of my age."

"Yeah. But it's cool, ya know, Star?!" Beast Boy blushed. "It's just that I'm not exactly Robert Waldo, here. Heh. But there're plenty of tall guys out there who….um….w-would love to get to know an alien girl who doesn't need to wear high heels and…..erm…..I-I know! We can strap you to the hood of the car next to Noir so that we can get a bunch of guys on the beach to walk up to us and….uh….flirt with Raven! Yeah!"

Raven's brow furrowed. "What?"

"Deadly territory, little man," Cyborg shrugged.

"Maybe I should just keep my mouth closed."

"Good thinking!" Cyborg remarked.

Starfire blinked. She looked at Raven. "How long will Noir and I be fastened to the front of Cyborg's automobile? I do hope not for long."

"No, Star…," Raven sighed. "They were merely joking."

"Oh…..," the alien girl blinked. "Then it is only Noir being fastened to the vehicle?"

"No, Star, they------n-never mind…"

"Hey, what about me?"

Everyone looked at Robin.

He smiled and ran a hand through his spiked hair. "Will I get strapped to any cars?"

Silence.

"Yeah…," Beast Boy said, folding his arms. "If we were driving a Volkswagen Bug!"

Cyborg laughed.

I sniffled a chuckle.

Robin frowned.

"Hahahaha!" Beast Boy hugged himself. "He'd fly right off the T-Car, man!"

"The Boy Weightless! Thin as a board!"

"Swoosh!! Yeah! Ha ha ha!!"

"You guys are so biased," Robin spat.

"Do not worry, Robin," Starfire smiled. "As soon as I learn to drive earthling transit, I will be sure to fasten you to my hood."

Robin's mask bug-eyed.

"Errrrr….," Cyborg uttered.

Beast Boy cleared his throat.

Raven smirked slightly.

Starfire beamed at the others, her eyes closed. "Is that not generous?"

"It certainly lets the imagination run wild…," Raven said.

"Pfft!" Beast Boy remarked. "As if you had an imagination."

"For your information, I'm envisioning your head ornately placed on a pike. How's that for imagination?"

"I'm thinking of taking math class soon, thank you very much."

"Whatever."

I glanced out the doorway to the Tower. I saw something. Actually, I saw two things. I did a double-take at first…then smiled in awe and enthusiasm. Being the person that I am, naturally none of the other Titans could audibly bear witness to my revelation.

In the meantime, Robin—who seemed to sense what I had sensed—spoke up: "Back to business. I think I have a solution for our 'leaving the City alone' predicament."

"Oh yeah…heheh…we were getting around to that, weren't we?" Cyborg uttered.

"We could all leave if we had someone here to guard the Tower, look after the City, and generally be a welcoming force for a short period of time. Like a substitute."

"Pfft…great idea," Beast Boy mumbled. "But hardly a dream come true!" He paced around the room and more or less headed towards the doorway, tossing his hands up. "But who on earth would possibly do such slave work for us—"

WHUMP!

"Owie!!" Beast Boy rubbed his nose after bumping into something. He looked up. "Hey Speedy."

"Hey, B.B.," Speedy smiled in the doorway.

A beat.

"Speedy!!!" Beast Boy gasped.

"Oh, so now you notice me," the red-headed archer grinned. "And to think that last time I was here I nearly blended in with this place."

"How're you doing?!" the changeling emphatically shook the archer's hand. "Dude…we missed your ass-kicking while you were gone! Not to mention your anti-Robin's-ego."

Speedy chuckled and leaned on his bow. "Yeah, well. Heroes have their duties in their respective places. And heroes also owe each other good deeds. So that's what I'm here for."

Starfire floated over suddenly and tackled Speedy in a hug.

"Whoah!!!"

"Glorious reunion!!" Starfire beamed. "Welcome back to our honorable abode, oh wielder of the furious projectile of righteousness!"

Speedy wheezed. "Robin…I-I….think your alien….is…crushing….me…."

Robin walked over, reached a glove up, paused, then set it down lightly on Starfire's shoulder with a smile. "That's enough, Star. Only I get to choke him."

"Eeep!" Starfire blushed. "A thousand apologies!" she let go of Speedy.

The archer regained both his breath and the natural color of his face. "That's more like it. Took you long enough, Robin."

"Though I must say…you got here pretty fast," Robin smirked. "Couldn't resist an invitation?"

"An invitation?!" Speedy remarked. "Is that what you call it?!" He spread his arms out and echoed upwards towards the high ceiling of the atrium. "I love this place!! I'd give a leg and a foot and something in between to get to work here on any occasion handed to me!"

"Wait a second…," Raven closed her book and stood up. "Do you mean to say that Robin called you over to house-sit for us?"

"Oh, believe me…I'd go on vacation with you too," Speedy smirked. "But alas…as karma—and my mentor—dictates, I have plenty a task to perform 'for the sake of goodness' and all that crap before I can lay my own head down to rest. Besides…where're you guys going anyways? The Carolinas? Bleah…I'd rather go to California and get it over with! Ha!"

"We might do that too, you never know!" Cyborg beamed.

I swallowed a painful lump down my throat suddenly.

"I do not think we are going anywhere…," Raven blinked. "Speedy, do not take this the wrong way. We're thankful for your assistance—much more than your manners I admit—"

"Thank you, Miss."

"….—but you alone, with all your powers and bravery, are still not enough to protect an entire City. We need more than that, and I don't know what Robin was thinking in asking just you to come by."

"Who said anything about just me?" Speedy smirked.

"Pfft!" Beast Boy rolled his eyes and gestured: "What? You got a girlfriend now?! I swear, why am I always the last…one……..to…." The changeling's eyes widened and he stopped in mid sentence.

Another figure had entered the Tower by Speedy's side.

"Well, now," Green Arrow's voice boomed as he leaned on his bow, grinned, and admired the widths and breadths of the Tower through his eyemask. "What marvelously voluminous headquarters for a team of rag-tag youngsters!"

"I stand corrected," Raven said…smiling ever so slightly.

"….," Beast Boy's eyes were wide and solid white in some cartoonish fashion. "It……he……that…….is……" He fainted and fell over.

"Whoah…..," Cyborg stood up, breathless. "The Green Arrow….!!"

"Oh, my bad, have you guys not met?" Speedy pointed at his mentor with hilarious subtlety. He winked under his mask.

"Greetings…Teen Titans," the green-clad man extended his arms and bowed. "You have all been very accepting of my young ward. I feel the desire to reward you—and your City—for such benevolence. Besides…I need new locations to strike fear into the hearts of the foolishly criminal!"

Cyborg rushed up. "I….um…er….I-I-It's a pleasure to meet you, sir."

I smirked.

"Likewise, Mr. Cyborg, likewise," Green Arrow smirked, his blonde beard and sideburns highlighted from the golden rays of sunset behind him. He extended a hand to shake with the android's titanium fingers. "I've heard of your heroics. Of all of your heroics. I'd love to fight alongside you someday."

"A-A-Alongside me?!" Cyborg turned red as his red eye shorted out. "Y-Y-You can't b-be serious!"

"Take it easy, Cyborg…," Speedy smirked. "He's not a god or anything."

Green Arrow leaned over. "I'm better than a god. I'm your mentor."

Speedy sighed. "Yeah…true that…"

Beast Boy got up. Took another look at the scene. And fainted again.

"I seem to have fans in this area of the country," Green Arrow remarked, looking over at Robin. "Are your teammates always this….bashful around grownup superheroes?"

"Only the good ones," the Boy Wonder smirked. He walked over and extended a hand to shake. "Welcome to Titan Tower, Green Arrow. It is an honor to be in your presence."

He shook Robin's glove. "And it is an honor to watch after the City during your absence. I must say…I wonder why you youngsters have not thought of doing something of this sort before? You're always working so hard."

"Yeah…especially recently!" Speedy smirked and stepped forward. "Tell me! What was it like kicking Slade's butt?! I wish I was there!"

Silence.

Cyborg looked to the side, scratching the human part of his head.

Starfire bit her lip.

Raven was silent.

Beast Boy got up and scratched his neck nervously.

"Erm…..," Robin uttered. He looked in my direction.

I readjusted my shades and sighed.

"Am I missing something?" Speedy remarked. "Why all the doom and gloom on people's faces?"

"Let's just say that….i-it makes perfect sense why we've never had a vacation after any adventure until this one," Robin solemnly said. "And I use the term 'adventure' lightly."

Speedy was still perplexed.

Somehow, the more veteran hero perceived what was amiss. Green Arrow stepped forward, cleared his throat, and said; "Well…I'm sure the six of you are just dying to get on your way. Feel free to give us all the run-through you promised, Robin. And then we'll get a plan in action!"

"Splendid!" Starfire smiled. She spun and beamed happily at the others, breaking the fog. "Shall we bag the packs for the cross-country excursion?"

Slowly, everyone snickered slowly at that and shuffled into a greater tempo all throughout the Tower to get things ready for what would most likely end up being two weeks of pleasant oblivion.

Even me.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"A trip like this…," Beast Boy smiled and looked at me. "…deserves all the best tunes to accompany us! I already talked to Cy, and he's got one mother of a sound system in that T-Car of his. Ten CD changers. You hear that?!?! TEN!! That's like audible Ragnorak on wheels!!"

He dug into a pile of CD cases and tossed them onto a table behind him….making another pile.

"I know Cyborg suggests we all bring one album each so we can all share and stuff. But I can't just bring one, dude!! But, I know when it's wise to conserve. So I'm going to modestly truck along about thirty-eight gems. Okay…maybe thirty-nine. Well, it's more like thirty-eight and a half. One of them is a record. It's a song I'm absolutely dying to share with everyone. Say, Noir, it's only safe to ask you….are you a Beastie Boys fan?

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"Books…," Raven said, holding up a hardback cover in front of me and gesturing to a bag she was slowly filling up in the Main Room. "Lots and lots of books. I'm only coming along on this trip because it's so very easy to read while riding in a car. And most people—I hear—find it the opposite. The constant hum of the engine and the passing scenery outside the window tends to make people fall asleep. But not me. My soul is much like a car. Constantly shaking. Constantly having things blur by it. In the midst of all that chaos, I find it easy to concentrate. Because it's like I'm being separated into a pocket universe where all I can do is immerse myself in text. Does this make any sense?"

I opened my mouth and raised a finger--

"Good. Cuz I don't want anyone thinking that I'm going on this vacation because I'm stressed. The truth is, I'm not stressed. I'm perfectly tranquil. All this reading and all this meditation following Slade's defeat has gotten me sedated. If I was stressed, I would be talking my head off. But of course I'm not stressed. Can't you tell? And in speaking of telling…I sure hope Robin tells Speedy to stay out of my room. I don't think he has to tell Green Arrow, because that archer is a grown man of urban legend. But then again, his yellow beard does somewhat make him look suspiciously eccentric…"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"Birdarang. Bolo. Grappling hook. Discs. Strobe pellets. Knockout gas. And—of course—utility belt," Robin spoke as he pulled each item out of a cabinet inside the gym and placed them out on a table. He then leaned on the table and smiled at me. "Yup. Just about all I need."

I stared at him.

"What?!?!"

I placed my hands on my hips.

"It helps to come prepared! What, you think we can't be heroes outside of the City or something?"

I sighed.

"Oh come on! Give me a break! Okay. Okay. You're right. This is a vacation. I'll….um…..not bring the strobe pellets." He removed the item from the table and then leaned forward again. "How's that?"

I frowned. I pointed at the items….then his costume.

He made a face. "You mean I should lose the costume too?! No way!! Gawd…what is it with you guys?! A vacation is not meant for relaxation!!"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"Oh, and I do believe this would look marvelous on me!" Starfire spun around and looked at me across her room. She held up a purple tank top and purple skirt in front of her…..purple tank top and purple skirt. "Ta to the daaaa! How am I looking?"

I bit my lip.

She blinked. "I see….well. How about this one?!" She spun back to the closet, put away the purple tank top and purple skirt….and held up another purple tank top and purple skirt in front of the purple tank top and purple skirt she was wearing. "Ta to the daaaa!"

I rubbed my scalp.

"Erhm…..I am confused. Were my last two choices in error?"

I marched over to her closet. Slid the two doors across the way. And exposed the concealed half of the casual, earthling clothes that she bought and never wore. All twenty articles of them. I fervently pointed to them.

"Those?" Starfire blinked. "I thought those were only meant for 'the shopping'."

I blinked.

The alien girl gasped. "I am to wear them too?!?!"

I smiled and nodded.

"Oh, glorious!! I never thought of that before!!"

I tried not to chuckle.

"I never thought much of it. After all, Raven never wears the clothes I get for her during 'the shopping'…."

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"So…explain to me how this system works…," Green Arrow politely asked as he sat at the computer station with Cyborg.

"Well…," the android began. "This is no normal security net. It's the same design my father made, with some tweaks here and there."

"Okay."

"This…," Cyborg pointed to one of over twenty dozen nodes across a three-dimensional grid schematic of the Tower. "…is the Alpha failsafe. It's wired directly between the Beta and Ceti failsafes. But at the same time, it's cross-wired to the Omega grid."

"What's the Omega grid do?"

"Absolutely nothing."

"Then why have an Omega grid?"

"Oh, the fact that it does nothing makes it very important."

"Oh?"

"Yes. It becomes a double-failsafe."

"What's a double-failsafe, exactly?"

"It throws off hackers and invaders into thinking that the failsafes are fake."

"Ohhh. How many fake failsafes are there?"

"You mean double-failsafes?"

"Yes."

"About twenty of them. And there are twenty-one failsafes."

"So…twenty-one fake failsafes and—"

"No…twenty fake failsafes."

"I thought you said they were double-failsafes."

"They are. And that's what makes them fake."

"By…"

"By making the non-fake failsafes appear fake so that the fake failsafes won't be treated like unfake failsafes by people looking for the unfake failsafes."

"…………..so….um…."

"Oh, and one other thing."

"Yes?"

"The crosswiring alternates by the twenty-first nonfake failsafe, so sometimes the fakes are nonfakes and the nonfakes are fake but they all end up being failsafes at some point or another."

"I see…."

"Wanna repeat it?"

"What? The fake part or the nonfake part?"

"Parts. Not 'part'."

"But I thought you said they were all fake."

"………um…n-no. Let's go over this again…"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"They Might Be Giants…Red Hot Chilli Peppers…," Beast Boy suddenly gasped as he tossed all other album asides, hugged one CD case to his chest, and just about sprouted warm tears. "Bare…..Naked…..Ladies…."

The changeling smiled at me and waved the album around. "Best ever! Best ever! Best ever!"

He paused. He suddenly blushed. "Um…did I just sound like a fangirl there?"

I politely lied by shaking my head 'no'.

"Ah…well….I know I can do better," he tossed the album behind him, shuffled through more CDs, and gasped at another 'gem'. "Gorrilaz!! My life is complete!!"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"Quintessentially," Raven uttered, holding up a book in my face. "You have not truly lived until you have read Scarlet Letter. I admire it notsomuch for the oppression Hester Prynne patiently endures…but the grand tragedy of Arthur Dimmesdale in his gradual physical and mental decline at the hand of Chillingworth provokes such intelligent reflection of symbolism that I cannot help myself but read Hawthorne's masterpiece over and over again. I have chills run down my spine each time Dimmesdale goes through his public, dramatic, almost orgasmic revelation of unpardonable sin—and yet in such humiliation and shame, he achieves a transient form of salvation. But is salvation fair? Dimmesdale dies…and Hester lives on to bear the shame of her copulation with Dimmesdale til the end of her bitter years. Maybe I can read this again during our first few days of travel and see it more clearly the eighth time through."

A beat.

"Now that I think about it, I hate this book…," and she tossed it into another, hidden pile while I scratched my head.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"Okay….," Robin took a deep breath. "I think I got it down now."

He reached over to the table and picked up a bolo and tossed it behind him. "There…how's that? Stripped down, huh?"

I reached a hand out and—in a blink of an eye—shoved every weapon and tool on the tabletop off and onto the floor.

"…….," Robin blinked through his eyemask. "I can take a hint."

I smirked.

He bent over and picked his utility belt up from the floor. "At least this—"

I frowned and made to grab it from him.

"Uh!!" he held it up and shook a finger. "Uh uh uh! If you can bring your sword, I can bring this thing at least. Deal?"

I gave him an 'Okay' sign and shook his hand.

He shook mine back and then gestured towards the other end of the gym. "Now, we got tents. Blankets. At least two lawn chairs. And….um…two umbrellas. Oh, and a cooler. God…I hope Cyborg was right when he said he refitted the T-Car and stuff."

I gestured something that even he could understand.

"A trailer?!" Robin made a face. "Ewww….no way. Not on any car I'm riding in. I don't even care if it's Cyborg's car or not. If worse comes to worse and we're overstocked on traveling goods, I'll make you walk outside and carry it!"

I pouted.

"Okay….you're right," Robin folded his arms and smirked. "We'll make Beast Boy carry it. I just hope he's kosher with being a donkey all vacation."

We both chuckled.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"An earthling camera! It is most appropriate for this sort of vacation, is it not?"

I pointed at the bag behind Starfire.

"Huh?? Oh, this!!" the Tamaranian reached in and pulled out a fuzzy stuffed animal which she squeezed to her chest. "A Theodore Roosevelt Bear!! Fuzziness was never before so fuzzy…hehehe!! Do you care to touch him?"

I simpered and mouthed the correct name of the stuffed toy.

She squinted her green eyes. "Shredded hair?"

I shook my head. I mouthed again.

"Lead Die Rear?"

I planted a hand over my face.

"I take it you do not wish to touch the fuzzy….?"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"All right…," Green Arrow spoke, his eyemask scanning the computer screen. "I shall attempt to make order out of this. The failsafes are all red herrings, insomuch as they are not red herrings. The double-failsafes were created to misdirect hackers into disabling the wrong parts of the security grid—"

"Assuming they can get in to begin with," Cyborg said.

"Correct. Now, let us pretend that I wish to run a system diagnostic on the security grid…how can I best avoid the complications of these failsafes and double-failsafes?"

"That's where you get into the sub-failsafe protocol."

"Sub-failsafes? That sounds new."

"Not necessarily. It's basically the canceling out of the failsafes and double-failsafes."

"But the failsafes and double-failsafes are not even numbered. I thought the double-failsafes had one extra member."

"Well, that depends. It's oftentimes the failsafe that has and extra number, but since the wiring and cross-wiring is in a constant state of flux, it's relatively random as to which of the two systems is the red herring or the legitimate system-----aw crap."

"What's wrong?"

"I forgot about the firewalls."

"What sort of firewalls are we talking about?"

"It depends….whether or not they're firewalls or double-firewalls or s-sub….."

"………."

"You know what? If any bad guys come to the Tower…you and your apprentice just….ya know….shoot arrows at them really fast."

"That sounds marvelous."

"Yup. We're done here."

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Robin stepped into the garage and set down his bag of stuff. He whistled at what he saw. "Man, Cyborg…you weren't kidding."

Cyborg was finishing up a polishing of his T-Car. The wheels seemed a good two feet wider. The compartment in the back was more spacey. And most of all…the top was down.

The android looked over, polished away one last smudge, and smiled. "My baby's growing up."

Robin walked over, arms folded. "Well aren't you proud?"

"Yup. It'll be ready for us first thing tomorrow morning."

"We're going about this thing really casual, aren't we?" the Boy Wonder stated.

"I'd say so…," Cyborg nodded. "Our best friend will be the beach, the road, and the sky…unless it's gonna fall sometime soon."

"Heheheh…," Robin chuckled and leaned against a tool rack nearby. He took a deep breath. "I never thought I'd see the day when we could afford to just…..take off."

Cyborg smirked. "I never thought I'd see the day you'd be so willing to 'take off'."

Robin craned his neck. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Look at you?! Gosh…when I first ran into you, you were a stiff as a corpse! No offense."

"None taken….not yet at least."

"You've changed, Robin. And if I may say so…I kinda like it."

"Whatever," the Boy Wonder shrugged and headed back for the stairwell. "As long as I'm still leader of this team."

"As long as you're still mysterious and badass, you mean," Speedy smirked from the doorway where he leaned.

"Aren't you supposed to be upstairs….um…sharpening arrowheads with your mentor?"

"Done enough of that to write a book and then burn it, man," Speedy replied. "I'm spending the time enjoying your soft side, Robin."

"Man…that sounds sick."

Cyborg laughed.

"Ya know…," Speedy smirked and pointed at the Boy Wonder, "…one of these days you're going to give in completely."

"Hardy har har."

"No! Seriously!" Speedy stopped Robin in his tracks. "You'll wake up and tell yourself 'Okay, Robin. I've had enough of this secret identity! It's about time I told my close friends who and what I really am!'"

"Don't go there, man," Cyborg shook his head. "Lord knows…we all tried."

"Nice attempt, Speedy," Robin smirked and brushed the young archer aside. "But I got to go to sleep as 'Robin' to wake up as 'Robin' so I can be 'Robin' for the teammates of mine who need 'Robin'."

"Ahhh baloney," Speedy stuck his tongue out. "I swear…I'll find out who you really are someday. I'll shock the great Detective's apprentice by learning who and what he really is and why his ego has to be so well-preserved."

Robin stopped, turned around, and smirked. "For that to happen…I'd have to die first."

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

The next morning, the T-Car rested outside of the front of the Tower. The Titans were finishing packing their stuff into the rear trunk. I had very few things to bring with me. I stood twenty feet away on the side of the driveway in jeans and a jacket. With stylish shades I looked into the hair-whipping wind as the Sun rose up behind us and cast a shadow westward.

Westward……

I sighed.

"I'm afraid I haven't had the chance to speak to you much!"

I smiled and looked up at the blonde-bearded hero in green. He was only half a foot above me…and I remembered just how tall I was.

"Word is….you pulled a lot of crazy, selfless stunts to ensure the safety of your teammates….and your City."

I looked to the side.

Green Arrow momentarily eyed my left 'hand' as he added: "Dedication like that is…..inspiring. I have no qualms about taking up this assignment to watch over the sleeping City now…"

I slowly nodded.

A beat.

"Well…," Green Arrow smiled and saluted me. "I suppose you greatly desire to go on your way. A trip West—I hear—is always rejuvenating to the soul. It suggests forward progression….change….and maturity."

I slowly nodded. I didn't try and tell him a single thing. I wasn't not sure he could understand. I wasn't sure anyone could understand.

"Robin??" Starfire flew overhead in a t-shirt and shorts, looking very girlish and….well…girlish. "Robin? We seek your company in the 'taking of the off' for our vacation!!"

"Try his room!" Beast Boy said, dressed in a polo shirt and pants and trying his futile best to balance two tall stacks of CD albums in his grasp as he hobbled towards the trunk and made Cyborg frown.

"Thank you very much!" Starfire soared up overhead.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"I think I got everything….I think I got everything….," the Boy Wonder mumbled. In khaki slacks and a white t-shirt, he squinted through his eyemask as he rummaged through desktop, drawer, and bedside searching for the last bits of personal material to sling into his modestly sized backpack.

At one point, he absent-mindedly stumbled over and opened his bedside table drawer.

He froze.

The photo from the bus terminal's surveillance camera glanced up at him. Cold. Lonely.

He took a deep breath…and slowly shut the drawer closed.

"I don't need you on this vacation…," he muttered. His fists clenched once…then relaxed. "I have something happy to wake up to with these people…."

"Robin??" Starfire's voice echoed in the hallway outside. "We are awaiting your presence!"

Robin quickly smiled, sighed happily, and dashed towards the door…slinging the backpack around one shoulder. "Coming!"

And the room was empty.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

I finished gently placing Myrkblade in its scabbard down into a corner of the trunk.

Cyborg closed it—miraculously—and brushed his titanium hands off. "Allrighty. Everyone hop in!!"

"Dude!! We've all hopped!! You and Noir get your butts in here!"

Cyborg and I sweatdropped.

"R-Right…," Cyborg cleared his throat, turned, and waved at the two archers standing at the steps to the Tower. "Keep the place in one piece!"

"Don't worry! We'll try!" Speedy smirked. "Say…can we have some girls over while you're gone—"

Green Arrow elbowed his ward.

"Ow!!"

"Godspeed, heroes!" the adult archer waved. "We'll keep in contact!"

"Right!" Robin gave a thumb's up through the window.

Cyborg got into the driver's seat.

I sat down in the left rear passenger seat. Raven—this time—sat to my right next to Robin while Beast Boy took the back rear seat. Starfire took shotgun and we were all situated.

"Allrighty…," Cyborg took a deep breath, smiled, and whispered: "Glad to have you around, Uncle…."

"What was that?" Starfire remarked.

"Er…n-nothing. Just expressing thanks for inspiration," Cyborg smiled widely and turned the engine on.

The T-Car hummed to life.

The Titans clapped.

Raven and I joined in, smiling slightly.

"Aaaaaand now for the good part!" Cyborg pressed a button.

The top came down.

"Sweeeeet!" Beast Boy exclaimed.

"You don't know the half of it…," Cyborg's human eye winked in the rear view mirror. "And off we go! GO WEST YOUNG MAN!! HA!!"

"And young woman…," Raven droned.

"And young alien!" Starfire smiled.

"Um….young elf?" Beast Boy blushed.

"Someone sing a song!" Robin chuckled.

Raven spat: "No."

VROOOOOM!!!

The archers watched as the T-Car burned rubber and sailed on down the land ridge, towards the main heart of the City, and prepared to make a sharp turn west and across the suspension bridge.

And the sunrise warmed us as the trip began.

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"Ooops….um….," Beast Boy sweatdropped and simpered. "Eh heheheheheh….I-I forgot my toothbrush. Can we go back?"

"D'oh!!"

SCREEEEEECH!!!