"Dr. Robbins?" A soft voice brought Arizona back to her senses. She turned to face the small, pale woman who had distracted her from her thoughts. "It's Michael, he's in a lot of pain,"
Arizona smiled at the woman and nodded, "I'll be right in," she said calmly, before getting up from her chair at the Nurses station, she sighed as she reached for a chart that read 'Michael White.' Michael had been admitted a few days ago with stomach pains, Arizona suspected Appendicitus and so kept him in the hospital to keep an eye on him.
"Hi, Michael," she said warmly as she entered the child's room, "can I take a look at your tummy?" Michael cried out in pain as Arizona gently touched his stomach. "Ooo I'm sorry, yeah looks like we're gonna have to take that appendix out," She turned to Bailey who had just entered the room and asked, "Dr. Bailey, can you book and OR and prep Michael for surgery please? Mr. and Mrs. White, I have some forms for you to fill out if you will follow me please."
Bailey sighed as Michael's parents followed Arizona out of the room and back to the nurses station. Something was wrong with Arizona, her perkiness had gone, she was an empty shell, a shadow of her former self. Bailey didn't get involved with other people's private lives, but she felt she had to ask.
"Robbins" She called after Arizona, once Michael's parents had left. "What's going on? Usually you'd of bounced right into that poor child's room waved your magic wand and healed him right up." Bailey paused for a second trying to read Arizona's facial expressions, body language, trying to work out what she was thinking, but nothing, Arizona just stood there staring blankly back at her. "Is it Torres?"
"What? No, no, everythings fine. I'm seeing her after work." Arizona's eyes lit up slightly as she spoke about Callie.
"Everything's fine?"
"Everything's fine," Arizona forced a smile, Bailey didn't buy it, but really didn't want to get involved.
"Hmm, ok then," She replied, as she turned and walked away down the corridor, "I'll leave you to it."
Arizona slumped back into her chair, and went back to staring out into space. She was easily distracted these days, she didn't look forward to work like she used to, not since the shooting. The shooting changed everything.
At the end of her shift, Arizona headed up to the Attending's locker room to gather her things.
"Hey," Teddy greeted her as she opened the door, "Are you ok?"
Arizona forced another smile, "I'm fine," she lied.
Neither of them said a thing whilst they rummaged around in their lockers, Teddy opened her mouth to speak a few times but couldn't think of an appropriate thing to say, she too had noticed Arizona had lost her sparkle, but after several failed attempts at starting a conversation she gave up and simply said, " tell Callie I said hi," before leaving the locker room.
At this point tears threatened to spill over Arizona's eyes, she looked at the picture she had of Callie and herself pinned up in her locker. Callie had taken it when they went for a walk together in the park. Arizona loved it, the sun beamed down on the both of them and lit up Callie's eyes beautifully. A single tear fell down Arizona's face and she quickly wiped it away with her jacket sleeve. She glanced back up at the picture and gently touched Callie's face with the pad of her thumb. "I love you," She whispered, before turning and heading out of the locker room.
She got into the elevator and went down to the second floor. Her legs carried her to a private room down the hall. She had been in this room so many times she didn't even have to think about getting to it, it was like her body was on autopilot.
She slowly opened the door, and smiled at the figure laying in the bed before her. "Hey baby," her voice wavered, trembling like an oncoming wave at the beach before it broke. "How are you today?" She paused for a second, "I, er... Teddy... She says hi."
Arizona grabbed a chair from the far side of the room and sat down next to the bed. The figure before her lay motionless, tubes and wires fed into her arms, a breathing tube fed into her mouth, and a heartrate monitor beeped quietly in the corner. It showed no change, no change from yesterday, no change from last week, no change from last month.
She reached out and took the lifeless hand in her own, tracing her thumb over the knuckles slowly and carefully. "Callie?" She spoke quietly, tears filled her eyes once again. "Cal, if you can hear me I just want to say... I'm... I'm sorry. For everything." She paused once again, feeling guilt for what she was about to say. "You know when we broke up, I wished you were dead... I just wished you would die, so that I didn't have to see you ever again, so that I could just... Just move on... you know? I felt like everything you told me was a lie, and that you didn't love me at all." She wiped a stray tear from her face. "I was angry at you for a while, but now... Now I want you to live. Can you hear me Callie? I want you to live. My heart stopped when that man shot you, my world was torn into pieces. I love you, I love you so much and I can't let you go. so if you can hear me, please wake up," She began sobbing harder than before. "Callie please, please just wake up, please, I love you and I can't live without you. I promise if you wake up we'll have kids, you'd make a great mom and I can't live without you and our ten kids," she smiled to herself at that last remark, and lent over to kiss her girlfriend on the cheek. "You're amazing Calliope Torres, and I can't loose you, I won't loose you. So please just wake up..."