Appeal of the Forbidden

By: Lucas McDrake

Chapter 11-Premature Chemistry

I was with Emmett in the edge of a forest. He was leaning against a tree, with me leaning against another one across the trail from him. There was a house close by.

I could tell that something bad was going to happen. Really bad. Like, perilous bad.

"Okay, let's talk," I muttered. I wasn't as confident as I sounded, to say the least.

Taking a deep breath, Emmett stated, "Keiran, we're leaving."

I inhaled in relief. This I could handle. I urged, "Why now? Another year-"

"Keiran, it's time," Emmett interrupted me, then feigned a smirk. "How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pas for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three, now." His smirk faded, replaced once again by the utter desolation that still seemed too foreign. "We'd have to start over soon, regardless."

If we were leaving for the sake of his family...?

Oh.

His cold stare, his ignorance, his actions...All of the events over the last few days that happened after my birthday flew through my mind.

It finally clicked.

"When you say we-" I gasped, placing my hands over my mouth in astonishment.

"I mean my family and myself," Emmett stated, enunciating every word.

My head went on auto pilot, shaking back and forth of its own accord. This couldn't be happening.

And yet it was.

He stood there continuing his cold stare, patiently awaiting my response.

It was a few minutes before I could utter, "Okay. I'll come with you."

"You can't, Keiran," he reasoned. "Where we're going...It's not the right place for you."

"Where you are is the right place for me," I automatically retorted, fists clenched at my sides as tears of frustration rolled down my cheeks. Emmett's form started to blur.

"I'm no good for you, Keiran," he explained, stiffening his arms that were crossing his chest.

"Don't be ridiculous," I cried, shaking with sobs. I tried to let my frustration show, but it wasn't working. "You're the very best part of my life."

"My world is not for you," he stated.

Finally, fury rocked through my being. "What happened with Jasper was nothing, Emmett! Nothing!"

"You're right...It was exactly what was to be expected."

"You promised!" I shouted. "You promised me, back in Phoenix, that you would stay-"

"As long as that was best for you," he added.

"No! This is about my soul, isn't it?" The words were fueled from my anger, firing at will. "Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Emmett!" I was shaking my head vigorously as I should, "I. Don't. Care!" Then, my tone became pleading as I declared, "You can have my soul. I don't want it without you-it's yours already!"

He gasped and started shaking violently. What did I say to get a reaction such as this? He was composed in a matter of milliseconds, making me wonder if I had seen his episode at all.

Then, he pronounced each word carefully with precision and deliberation, still looking at the ground, uttering the single sentence that would end my life.

"Keiran...I don't want you to come with me."

As the words sank in, I could feel the blood drain from my face, my heart slow considerably and my tears halting their flow. Time stopped its rotation, and my brain forgot to function. Or, perhaps, it just simply didn't want to.

I didn't want to know the inevitable. Not yet. It could wait...

"You...don't...want me?" I managed to mutter.

How could I compete with that? That was something I couldn't contradict with reason because it was the full out truth. He had me there...

My voice already excreted death. It was obvious; I had already died. My eyes just had yet to close for the last time.

The way I place the words confused me, and cleared all of my bewilderment at the same time. A haze seemed to slide over my mind, but I could still completely comprehend that that had been the dilemma all along.

"No." The single word he uttered made it official.

He didn't want me.

My knees felt weak, and it was a miracle that I could still stand. However this miracle went ignored in the face of catastrophe.

He glanced up at me once more as he said it. Since I was already gazing into his eyes, I could see horrifying depth in his amber. Nowhere could I find contradiction in them. Mile upon mile could I see into them, yet not an ounce of repentance could I detect.

Surprisingly, my voice sounded strong as I stated, "Well, that changes things."

Still, my brain would not function. No sense came with his explanation.

"Of course, I'll always love you..." he muttered, looking out into the forest, "in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm..." He looked into my eyes again as he continued. "I'm tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Keiran. I am not human." He glanced at the ground and closed his eyes. "I've let this go on for too long, and I'm sorry for that."

"Don't." All I could manage was a whisper. Another tear trailed down my cheek. My brain was threatening to function, to finish what it had started. "Don't do this."

I could tell that my plea fell on deaf ears; he already had.

Then, I could feel time pass by in a blur. My brain still couldn't function. All I could figure out was that Emmett was gone.

That alone caused me physical pain.

Then, I suddenly felt warmth, like I suddenly had gained a personal sun.

I felt this warm feeling in short intervals as, suddenly, pain overcame me, seizing my entire existence. My brain had finally started to function. The pain was so hard to endure...If not for the warmth I wouldn't have survived.

My life flashed before my eyes. Going to a horror movie with a couple in it that reminded me of him...spotting four men that I thought had been the same as some I'd previously encountered under bad circumstances...hearing his voice...Here the warmth made the pain cease for but a short while...crashing on a motorcycle...jumping off the cliff...nearly drowning...seeing Emmett, and wishing to die...warmth, again...

It was starting to become too much, despite the warmth's assistance. A whole lifetime of pain in less than a minute-

Still, it continued. Now, the warmth was gone. I was on my own. I was running through a sunlit city in pursuit of my reason for living...

Everything slowed down to how time normally flows once I saw Emmett, standing erect without his shirt on at the mouth of an alley. He looked too beautiful...My hallucination of Emmett had not done him justice. His face was peaceful...

I knew that we were both in jeopardy because of the Volturi. They would kill us both; him, if the noon sun lit his body, and me for knowing too much.

"Emmett!" I screamed to no avail. The crowd was just too loud, too thick.

Too late, I thought as the bell tolled the twelfth hour.

As tears cascaded down my face in an irregular rhythm, I screamed his name as I ran past a small family in front of the alley and collided into him.

Everything changed instantly upon contact with his chest.

Suddenly, we were back in the meadow. I had just scooted away from him, rejection still fresh in my heart.

I didn't realize I was crying until Emmett transferred the first traitorous tear from my face to his index finger.

We both stared at it, and I realized that he had moved closer to me.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

Why was he suddenly worried about me? I shook my head, staring at the ground.

He didn't hesitate to touch his damp finger to my chin, and lift my head up, forcing me to gaze into his amber eyes. "Tell me," he whispered.

There was only an inch, at most, separating our lips. The proximity was a little too much for me.

"I know I shouldn't have fallen in love with a vampire," I mindlessly whispered. I shut my mouth immediately, hoping he didn't take this the way I meant it.

He applied pressure against my chin, forcing me to come closer. "I'm listening."

Drowning in gold, tears and electricity, I was made speechless. Was he reacting to me in the same way?

Of course, not. Otherwise, he wouldn't be able to speak, either. Besides, that would be stupid...

Wouldn't it?

When I found my voice, I uttered, "Let alone a vampire sealed to another through matrimony, but-" I gasped as I realized I was suddenly committed to tell him the full truth. Not because Emmett was forcing me to-he'd never do such a thing, what with the heart of gold. It was that I knew I couldn't live with myself if I didn't.

He glanced away, releasing me from his gaze, and stated, "You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to."

Due to our close proximity, I could tell that he wanted to know. Badly.

This reassured me. "I've fell in love with..."

He gazed into my eyes again. "Yes?"

My heart was fluttering like a hummingbird's wings, my tears rained down on his arm and I was hyperventilating beyond belief.

"I..." I forced myself to calm down, looking away as to gain confidence. "I...have hopelessly fallen in love with..." I forced myself to look back into his eyes. Only one more word, I reasoned.

"You."

Surprise flooded into his eyes, as well as...relief.

I was surprised, too, when his lips crashed onto mine.

I abruptly awoke from this fantasy when Emmett shifted beside me in my bed since I was being held in his arms against his chest. I realized that he was asleep because his breathing was deep, slow and even, and his eyes were closed.

Why was he sleeping? That reminded me of how he yawned before I fell unconcious...

I was distracted by his cold body against mine. I liked being held here, captive in his arms...

Remembering that it was mushy, I forced myself to think straight about his chest, instead of finding it attractive...

Ugh! This was so wrong!

...And yet, it felt so right, when I didn't think about it...

I'm too young for this type of thing! I reasoned. You need to...

What? What could I do to avoid this?

That's when I realized how far I'd have to go.