"Welcome to life. Here's what it's like. Here's what it's always been; a shot through the dark, straight through the heart while you're in the light with them. And welcome to hurt, welcome to fear. It's better now that everybody's here. Yeah welcome to life."

Welcome to Life, Go Radio

"Why are you fidgeting?"

"Why are you watching me?"

There was an uncomfortable shift and a tug at the shirt she had decided to wear. Why was she nervous? And why was Troy looking at her like that? She exhaled, figuring that it was the wisest decision to keep her eyes focused straight ahead.

His gaze was intense, switching from her to the road ahead of them, the truck coming to a slow stop at a deserted red-light.

Troy had gone home and showered quickly after his basketball practice so that he could be on time to pick her up. Of course, Gabriella had not been ready when Troy arrived, having him wait an awkward ten minutes in her living room with her mother. And the weird part, to him, was that he did not mind. It had been the opposite, since he was interested in seeing where the girl who had forced her way into his life came from. He was relieved that he had only met her mother.

Now, the two teenagers sat in silence in Troy's old beat up truck as he resumed driving, his thumb tapping lightly on the steering wheel to a beat that went along with the radio.

"It's kind of hard not to notice…" He answered, referring to her incessant movement in the passenger seat.

"Keep your eyes on the road then," Gabriella retorted, their argument far from serious as she smirked and reached for the radio dial, searching for a new station to tune into.

"Whoa, whoa. My car, my radio," Troy batted her hand away, his jaw locked and his face serious which only caused Gabriella to laugh.

She huffed dramatically, on purpose, crossing her arms over her chest. "So whose party is this anyway?"

"Tom Matthews, he plays defense on the team."

"I don't even know who he is…this is going to be so awkward."

Troy looked at her incredulously. "Are you serious? It is a party, meaning that he would be stupid if he expected only people he knew to show up. Don't tell me you are a party virgin, too."

"Well…"

"Shit," Troy laughed this time, shaking his head as he admired the girl to his right. She really was something else. "I knew it, that's why you didn't want to go."

She glared momentarily, and then shook her head slightly. "No I just was pretty sure that Sharpay would be with Chad the majority of the time, leaving me a loner, you know?"

He nodded tersely. "I'll steal Chad away for you, if you would like."

"Or…" Her voice trailed off as she looked out her window. "We could hang out? If that was okay… I don't know, I mean I know you have other friends and-"

"That'd be fine," Troy cut her off before she could even finish her bumbling. More than okay, he thought.

She was not too convinced, though.

"Well I don't want to be clingy like a leech or like you know, the annoying freshman that follows you around-"

"Again, Gabriella that would be fine. I don't know when you're going to realize that you don't annoy me," Troy finally stated what he had been thinking since he had met her.

Finally, she gathered up the courage to face him, their eyes connecting, almost making her want to turn away again…but she couldn't. "I don't know, Troy. There's just something about you that makes me feel like I'm really bugging you. Even the first day-"

"I have nothing against you, sorry," Troy cut her off once again, inside he was cursing himself for being so stupid. Normally, he did not mind when people felt like he was freezing them out but he did not want it to be that way with Gabriella. There was something there and either one of them had to be an idiot to deny the fact.

He was a cold person, he understood that much, which was also the reason he only hung out with a few people. To most of the students at East High, Troy was mysterious, quiet, and extremely talented on the basketball court. His father was the coach of the school's basketball team, the Wildcats, who had a great chance of winning the championship. Also, he was a gym teacher, which added even more mystery to who was Troy, since this allowed people to see where Troy came from, where he had gotten his good looks. And of course, this meant a lot because the bulk of the teenage girls who attended school at East High were interested.

A silence fell over the truck.

She reached for the radio in one fast motion, changing the station with a smile of victory, having moved too fast for Troy to stop her. A song had just came to its end, a new one's beginning melody alerting Gabriella as her shoulders straightened, a smile fighting its way on to both her face and Troy's.

"Oh I love this song," She stated.

Their eyes connected once more and Gabriella drew in a sharp breath. "Me too," He said, his voice low.

"I've been roaming around always looking down at all I see…"

"Oh come on you're going to ruin it," she joked as Troy bellowed, purposely exaggerating the lyrics. Nonetheless, Gabriella could not keep herself from laughing.

"You know that I could use somebody!" Troy continued with a shout, his voice shrill, his tapping against the steering wheel beginning again but this time, with more energy and obnoxiousness.

"Someone like you and all you know and how you speak, countless lovers undercover of the street," Troy sang along, nodding his head. "You know the words, come on take it from here," He encouraged with a wide smile, only to have Gabriella shake her head like he was insane.

He swayed back and forth in his seat during the instrumentals, ignoring Gabriella's constant observations. She knew he wanted a reaction.

Troy redirected his stares from her to the road, opening his mouth for the next verse. "Off in the night while you live it up-"

"I'm off to sleep," Both sang in unison.

Troy laughed with triumph, Gabriella singing along as if to be waving the white flag of surrender.

"Waging wars to shake the poet and the beat," Gabriella sang solo, her face feeling the heat of the increasing color of red on her cheeks. He had stopped singing purposely, planning to catch her off guard from the start. "You suck," Gabriella smacked his knee lightly but Troy refused to wipe the smile of his face. He couldn't, even if his cheeks hurt to the point that they threatened to fall off. The smile was not going anywhere anytime soon.

He sighed, turning into the street where Tom Matthew's house was located. Keeping his voice low, he watched Gabriella as her cheeks slowly returned to their normal pigment. "You know that I could use somebody."

And the nerves were back, much stronger than they were before. With fingers itching with anticipation, she sucked in her breath as Troy turned the door handle, gesturing for her to enter before he did.

The environment was not what she had pictured or saw in movies. The lights were dimmed; different groups of teenagers that she had recognized from quick glimpses in the hallways at school were dispersed around what looked to be a living room, dining room and kitchen. Faint music played in the background, but it was not loud and booming, like she had expected. Troy caught on to her observing stares.

"Pretty simple, right?" He smirked.

"Simple enough."

She could live without the girls in the corner that were whispering behind their palms, their beady eyes trained directly on her and Troy, their faces full of what could only be described as disgust. Great.

A feather-light touch of a hand fell to her waist, and just like that, her attention was deviated back to the blue eyed boy she had arrived with. "Don't let it bother you, it's high school." Troy's head had bent low by her ear so that their conversation was unheard by everyone else in the room. It was just him and her.

Gabriella nodded, not sure if there was anything else for her to say.

"Do you want something to drink?" He asked and her eyes widened instantly which he noticed and could not help but chuckle. "Like water, Killer," He nudged her shoulder, walking ahead into the crowds before turning tilting his head to the side as if to indicate that she should follow.

And who was she not to oblige?

Even through the many conversations that were taking place, both Troy and Gabriella were able to make out the familiar, loud in volume, laughter that was coming from the kitchen. Troy's eyebrows raised in curiosity as they approached their blonde friend who from the looks of it, had already started her own party.

"T! T and G! T and G are here!" She exclaimed when she saw them shortly after they recognized her. Decked out in glitter from head to toe, the fashionista wore a pink sequined mini dress with heels to match, immediately making Gabriella feel under dressed. Glancing down quickly, she smoothed out her tanktop once more, a grey cardigan covering her, taking in the dark denim skinny jeans that she had chosen to wear.

"Oh, I think you look nice, by the way," Troy whispered into her ear before Sharpay practically tackled Gabriella in an attempt to hug her, whose mouth had opened slightly in shock. Was he telekinetic or had her face betrayed her, revealing her true thoughts? She looked over Sharpay's shoulder only to see that his eyes had darkened momentarily, looking as though he were thinking of something intently.

"Troy! Hey!" She greeted after releasing her death grip on Gabriella who looked a little frightened.

"Maybe you should slow down…" Troy said jokingly, even though his tone hinted seriousness as he could smell the alcohol in his friend's breath from where she stood. "Where's Chad?"

"OH! Chad," Sharpay's posture changed instantly, her face angry as she glared like a child who had not gotten their way. "We broke up."

She stated it as if it meant nothing.

Gabriella had not been going to the school for long and nor did she know the people that she called her new friends entirely too well, but she knew for a fact that what Chad and Sharpay had was different than just a high school relationship. So, her mouth dropped and Troy too even looked momentarily stunned.

"Is he around?" Troy asked with concern, his voice becoming slightly agitated.

"Somewhere, I'm sure," Gabriella tried to calm, causing his gaze to shift from the drunken mess that was Sharpay to her. "I'll stay here with her, making sure she stays out of trouble," She suggested.

"You sure?" He ran a hand through his hair, not sure if he actually wanted to leave the two girls alone.

"Positive, go find your friend."

The bounce of a ball against the black top of a driveway let Troy know that he was warmer. And sure enough, once he rounded the side of the Matthew's house, Chad was there, aiming flawlessly at the net, the ball finding its home in the basket with ease.

"Hey," Troy called when he was close enough, signaling with his hands for the ball. Chad passed with little enthusiasm, watching as Troy took a shot with perfection.

"Hey," Chad greeted back, his voice dangerous, laced with annoyance.

"How's it going?" Troy tried for a casual conversation, but his friend who was usually filled with energy rolled his eyes.

"Do you know already or are you serious?"

"Fine, I'll cut this shit." Troy threw bounced a sharp chest pass to Chad who was quick to react, catching the orange ball with precision. "What happened?"

"What do you think happened? What always happens," He groaned, taking his anger out on the basketball net as he shot, the ball slapping the backboard harder than he had intended.

"Brick," Troy mumbled with a smirk, referring to the shot Chad had just made.

"No one does it better," Chad smiled back, his tone growing lighter. And Troy knew it was going to be okay.

What was described as perfection was not always what it seemed to be. Chad and Sharpay were viewed as gold. Always holding hands in the hallways or seen with their arms linked as if neither wanted to let go. Most girls envied, wanting to be in the position that Sharpay Evans was. She wasn't just dating one of the most attractive boys in the senior class, she was cherished by him. Chad Danforth did not even mind when he was called whipped. If being whipped meant being with Sharpay and feeling the way he did, then hell, he was whipped.

But of course, like any other couple, the two teenagers had their flaws, their fights and their moments that they were ashamed of. They were more public of course, since Sharpay made her emotions known to all, not ever afraid of what someone thought of her. If she wanted to cry, she was going to cry. And of course, if she wanted to yell at someone, she would never hold back.

In the end, none of it mattered because Troy knew what both Chad and Sharpay knew as well. They always returned to each other, where they belonged.

"How about a quick game of knockout before heading back in?" Troy asked, his face with the same look of challenge that always settled there whenever a competitive game between the both him and Chad took place.

"You're on."

With that being said, the quick game started, both boys fully focused on scoring and mentally crossing their fingers that the other one would miss their shot. Of course, Chad had been the first one to miss the basket.

"As always," Troy bowed dramatically, ignoring the look on Chad's face that read 'I want to punch you'.

"Did Gabriella come with you?" Chad asked as they began their trip back inside, rounding the side of the house towards the backyard, where the backdoor they had exited was.

"Yeah."

"What's going on there?" Chad asked casually, pretending he did not really care when he truly was interested.

"What do you mean?" Troy played dumb.

"Don't give me that shit, you've been acting like an idiot this past week," Chad laughed. "It's ok if you like her, this isn't the first grade, and she's not going to give you cooties."

"No, it's not that," Troy shook his head, trying to form the right words. "I'm just kind of interested in someone else," He said honestly.

Chad stopped walking, his face contorted with confusion. "Who and why didn't I know about this?"

Troy sighed. "Because it's really not that big of a deal and we're not girls, so quit acting like one."

"You still didn't answer the question. Who is it?"

Troy looked at the ground, pretending that the grass was far more intriguing than their conversation. "Does it matter?"

"Is it a guy…?" Chad asked slowly and seriously. "You've been my best friend since we were five, I have always accepted you for who you are-"

"Shit Chad, no, it's not a guy." Troy grew more frustrated. "It's a girl."

"Then who? Do I know her? Rate her on the scale of one to ten-"

"I don't really know…"

"It's just us, you can say whatever dirty shit you are fantasizing about," Chad exclaimed.

"No, that's not what I meant," Troy said, his head turning to look left and right before turning back to his friend, who he was about to confide in. "I really don't know."

Now he was really confused. "What are you talking about? How don't you know?"

"You see, there's this girl and I read her writing, she blogs and I just-"

"Wait hold on a second," Chad Danforth tried to wrap his mind around the idea. "Blogs? As in the internet…"

"Yeah," Troy could feel his friend's judging stare.

"Troy, she's probably a guy!" Chad practically shouted. "You're going to get yourself in too deep and then end up on the show 'How to Catch a Predator'."

Troy knew he would not understand. No one would. He just hoped that just this once, Chad would approve. "I know her."

Chad shook his head urgently, amusement still dancing in his brown eyes. "No you don't-"

"No, I do. I have read how she writes, what she writes about, the way she is and how she feels," Troy stopped abruptly when he realized how stupid he must have sounded. Really, he felt connected to the blogger whose writing he had been reading for a little over a year now. He had not told anyone, but reading what the unknown girl had written helped him live his life easier. The words of encouragement melted away his depressed state whenever he was in one.

"Whatever, man," Chad said, his voice unsure with caution, wanting to drop the conversation. "She or he, probably lives on the other side of the world."

"No, see that's the thing. She lives here," Troy gestured around them, meaning that the mystery girl lived in Albuquerque, just as they did.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Just the way she describes things," Troy assured. He did not care if Chad didn't believe in her like he did. No matter what he did and who he met, Troy knew that he would not forget about the girl who had captured him over the internet. She had described her favorite place, the basketball court that was only a few blocks away from where he lived. It was his favorite place as well.

The court sat beside a river, picnic benches hidden beneath the shades of the trees. Her words were almost as if she had pulled them directly from his mouth. And he knew that he knew that court by heart, every inch of it, every inch that had been described in one of her blog entries. Besides that, her location stated that she lived in New Mexico and that she also went to high school there. But that was the obvious.

Chad sighed, defeated, not wanting to start a fight with his friend. "Ok, just remember this moment. Remember that I warned you that meeting people over the internet is shady, especially when you have a girl right before your eyes," Chad referred back to Gabriella and Troy nodded, understanding.

"I know, but it's just not the same, Chad." Troy shrugged. "You can't help who you like, right?"

Immediately, thoughts of the blonde girl who had angrily shoved his shoulders, telling her to just leave her alone for good, flooded his mind. Always dramatic, but always having good intentions, Sharpay was Sharpay. He would not change her for the world. And he loved her.

Chad smiled, thinking of the girl who was waiting for him inside. "Yeah, I know what you mean."

"Are you alright?" Troy steadied the girl in front of him, his hands clasping her waist sturdily. His eyes were as wide as plates as he looked at the two messes in front of him.

"Of course she's alright! She was left under my care," Sharpay slurred, adding a wink.

"Can we talk?" Chad asked from where he stood behind Troy, almost as if he were using him for protection until he could see if Sharpay had calmed down in the least bit. Sharpay glared but nodded, anyway, allowing Chad to drag her off into one of the corners of the living room, where they fought in semi-private.

This left Troy and Gabriella alone, Gabriella swaying unknowingly, gripping Troy's arm as she felt herself tip over. "That's strong stuff isn't it?" She asked herself out loud, referring to the drink that she had let Sharpay mix for her after a long while of hearing her plead to make her a drink.

"Gabriella?" Troy tilted his head, trying to get his eyes to lock on his. "I knew I should not have left you here with her," He tried to keep himself from laughing, even though he knew that he would not let her live this down the next time he saw her sober.

"I'm really fine, Troy," She said, trying to make her voice sound as serious as possible, narrowing her eyes to match her tone. Troy shook his head as he continued to bite back a laugh.

"So if I let you go, you'd be completely fine on your own?"

She nodded but shook her head just as quickly when his grip began to loosen. "No, don't let go, what are you doing?!" Gabriella asked in a high whisper.

"This is going to be a long night," Troy mumbled, leaning her back against the counter, keeping her still there as she gazed up at him. He felt light tugging only to realize that she was toying with the hem of his shirt. "Gab what are you…"

"I'm tired," She said suddenly, "and I'm not feeling too good."

Troy inhaled, trying to keep him calm and on good grounds with Sharpay. He had left Gabriella alone for about a half of an hour and he had come back to this? Really, he had not seen the night turning out this way, him babysitting a slightly buzzed Gabriella while his two best friends fought for their relationship.

"It's ok," He soothed, patting her back almost timidly as she rested her head on the counter, sitting on one of the stools that was by an island in the kitchen. "Rookie's mistake," Troy laughed lightly.

"Why did you bring me here again?"

He did not have an answer to her question, so he let the low music cover the silence, his hand gently squeezing her shoulder every few seconds to keep her awake. "Want me to take you home?" Troy asked his voice with uncertainty for he really did not want to take her home, feeling as though they had only gotten there.

With this, she lifted her head, an unsure look taking over her face. "You don't like me, do you?" She asked, her tone in the middle of being light and serious.

"Why wouldn't I like you?" He retorted quickly. Of course, that was not what she had meant. She did not wonder if he liked her as a friend or someone who he could just talk to. And Gabriella knew that Troy knew exactly what she meant by the question.

She looked around her, taking in her surroundings for the second time that night. Really, she did not belong here, partying was just not her thing, if you would even consider what this was an actual party. Gabriella exhaled heavily, not wanting to ruin Troy's time. "No, I don't want to go home, yet," She answered him finally.

"I really wouldn't mind-"

"I'm staying." Her decision was final.

Troy was always looking for something. Even if he did not mean to be, his eyes wandered and so did his mind, taking him to places. So as he took a break from what seemed like hundreds of free throws, his mind trailed away just like the clouds passing by in the light grey sky.

The Saturday afternoon was colder, leaving Troy feeling unsettled. The court that lay riverside was just as it always had been but he could not help but feeling that something had changed. He shook off the feeling, dribbling the basketball that he had brought along with him a few times just to hear the sound of collision it made with the court underneath his feet.

It was times like these that he could not stand the feeling of being alone. Like most weekends, Troy's father was not home, rather out on business. And both he and his mother knew what that meant.

There were many things in life that Troy understood. It was rare that he found something that he didn't. He understood that someone could lose feelings for another who they once loved. To him, that had a simple explanation; life. That was how life worked out sometimes, so be it, Troy had always thought.

But what he didn't understand was what he could have done. He pleaded within himself, needing the answers to his many questions. Why wasn't he enough for his father to stick around?

Why was he not enough?

"What are you doing here?" A breathless voice jarred him from his thoughts, nearly causing him to jump out of his skin.

His face matched her look of surprise, his mouth hanging open slightly in what he perceived as a look of stupidity. "Wha- You? What are you doing here?" Troy felt completely out of the loop as his eyes remained on the vision before him, the same girl that he had looked after the night before, making sure that nothing or no one harmed her and that she got home safely.

"I jog through here almost every weekend," Gabriella said, her voice coming off a bit perturbed. "Never once have I seen you here."

"Likewise."

With her hands on her hips in defiance, she asked the question that she had been planning to ask him the upcoming Monday. "I didn't ruin your time last night, right?"

"No, don't worry about it," came his response, a little too quickly for Gabriella's liking. "The party was beat anyway." He shrugged.

"Never again for me. I'm pretty sure that was my first and last East High gathering that I'll be attending," Gabriella said firmly, wondering how badly she had embarrassed herself the night before.

"I could have made it more fun for you…" Troy's voice trailed off, scenarios of different sexual encounters playing in his mind, causing him to shake his head urgently. That had not been what he meant. Was she thinking the same?

"Well…" Her voice drew out, feeling an awkward silence fall over the court. "I guess I should be going," She gestured back towards the trail that she had jogged from, her own iPod in her hand. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, tomorrow…"

"Troy?"

"Yeah?" And she received the same smoldering look that made her weak at the knees.

"I didn't get the chance to thank you for last night, you know, making sure I was alright."

Troy laughed lightly. "Did you honestly think I would let someone take advantage of you?"

"Who would even bother taking advantage of me?" She wondered why someone would even bother. Gabriella was shy, her whole life known as the bookworm, the genius who was always kind when given the chance to prove herself. If she wasn't approached at first, she did not mind embracing her introverted side. It was part of what made her, her.

In all honesty, she could never imagine anyone finding her attractive or interesting.

"It would have happened," Troy affirmed.

"I highly doubt that anything would-"

"I liked watching over you," He said suddenly, adding in a casual shrug. "You gave me a purpose for being there."

September 26th, 2009

Every detail, every line of every contour never goes unnoticed by me. It's funny how the littlest changes have the power to break your heart. For instance, remember the place that you raised me. Remember, I know you have the same image in your mind as I do. The winding path around the park, the same park I had taken my first steps. The same park where I had jumped off the swing set in competition with friends on who could reach the highest point, only to come home with scraped knees for you to nurse. No matter what was going on there, one thing always remained the same. A small boat, sides worn from water sloshing against it, the paint fading, could always be found located by the dock that people would fish off of. The boat was almost like the park's trademark. And today, just like that, it was gone. Without it, it's not the same. Without you, it's not the same.

-B