I do not own CSI.

Rated T for mildly foul language.

This is not a one of my better chapters but it moves along.

There is a reason behind it.

Because it is more on the lame side...

I will follow with another chapter quickly so no rotten tomatoes at me, okay?

I still would like a review...

I would really like to know your thoughts on chapters like these...are they as bad as I think they are?

Insight, please!

They hadn't talked much about the Brooke and Cole trauma that infiltrated their life just weeks earlier; they believed it was best to let it go and put it behind them. Nick had agreed with Jules when she told him that they couldn't let it eat at them, dominate their conversations or pollute their thoughts.

So it especially surprised him when she suddenly began to bring it and want to talk about it. He was adamant though that it was over and there was no reason to rehash it...just as she had reminded him.

And, because of that, whenever she did bring it up, he shot her questions down instantly.

"But, Nick, I am not saying we need to have a huge conversation about this…I just want to know one thing…about Cole….is he done with me now? What would make him hang on to me like this? I just don't understand! I wish I could just understand it," she would plead for answers no one could give her.

"Honey, first of all that is NOT just one question and secondly, I told you before…you will never know what goes through his fucked up, warped, mind so don't bother…WHY are you giving him that kind of power?" he would fire back.

One evening in particular, as the two of them sat at the kitchen table playing a game of cards before Nick went in to work, Jules slowly slipped her thoughts into the conversation much to Nick's disapproval.

"Why do we have to talk about this, Babe?" he grumbled and tossed out a card.

"Because I just wish I could understand what the hell he was thinking…I thought he was done with me. Why can't he leave me alone? Why won't he leave US alone?" she tried to make sense of the senseless.

"JULES! First of all you are dealing with a sociopath…not someone you can make sense of. YOU KNOW THIS, Honey!" he desperately tried to get through to her.

"I'm sorry, Nicky, I just don't get it," she shook her head and flipped a card over.

"Enough, Babe, I don't want to think about him, okay?" Nick told her.

Jules stayed quiet for a few minutes and then mumbled something that floored Nick.

"What the fuck is so great about ME that would make someone want to hang on so tightly at any cost?…it just makes no sense," she kept her head down as she said it.

"What? What did you say?" he tossed his cards face down in a pile on the table. "How could you even sit here, across the table from me, ME of all people, and ask me that? How can you ask such a question?" he shook his head, "WHY in God's name would you put YOURSELF down?" he said irritated. "I'm done…I don't want to play this anymore and I gotta get to work anyway," he said and stood up abruptly.

"Nick, I just was…Come on, Babe…" she said nervously.

She didn't mean to make him mad.

"Naw, it's fine, Darlin'…I'm not mad at you…I just can't stand the son of a bitch and I will not sit here and try to figure his sorry ass out. And I definitely won't sit here and listen to you wonder what's so great about you…as if you are unworthy or something…He is trash… is not worthy of YOU, got it?" he said walking around the counter and putting his glass in the sink.

"Yes, I got it," she said sadly.

"Now kiss me goodbye and tell me you love me because I gotta go to work," Nick leaned in and kissed her softly, "Just stop, please. You told me weeks ago to not let it eat at me…to let it go because my hurt is your hurt too…You told me that...Well take your own advise, Sunshine. Don't be a hypocrite," he gave her the "knowing look", "You can't have it both ways."

"Can't argue with ya...You're right, you're right," she said realizing how hypocritical she sounded.

She was ashamed of herself, but the nagging, persistent and desperate need to know why Jimmy Cole did what he did still hounded her. She wished it didn't but suddenly, out of nowhere, he clouded her thoughts.

"Honey, you know what I think?" he said leaning over the back of her chair and wrapping his arms around her, "…I think this is your hormones talking…I know you…you are not one to dwell on this kind of poison. You are hormonal, Babe, BUT I still have to tell you like it is…I have to put a stop to this way of thinking. It is not good for you, for the babies, or for God sake's ME!" he laughed that he included himself in it.

Jules leaned her head back and stared upside down at him.

"I love you, Cowboy…completely, madly, crazy love you..." she smiled softly.

"Then kiss me again and walk me to the door so I can go look over dead bodies and gruesome crimes," he laughed and kissed her.

"Call me if you can, Handsome," she said getting up and following him out.

"Will do, Sunshine, and remember…keep those negative thoughts out of your mind and know it's just your hormones talking, kay?"

Nick kissed her forehead and closed the front door.

Only seconds passed when she heard him test it to make sure it was locked.

"Just checkin'" he yelled from the other side.

"Of course! You always do!" she laughed back and walked upstairs.