Ch. 17
Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing!
This one has a little bit of everything.
Sending out hugs to everyone as we get ready for tonight!
"How'd ya know?"
"Know what?" Daryl grunted out as he strung up the doe he had just shot.
Beth was back at their new camp, and Merle had come with him instead. He said he needed to talk, but that was the first thing he had said in hours.
"What it was ya felt for Beth."
Daryl looked up at him and shrugged. "Don't know what I feel for her."
Merle stared him down. "That's a damn lie. After everythin' y'all been through, ya ain't got a name for it?"
He shook his head. "I'm with her 'til the end. Why?"
"Figured ya could help me see if what I feel was real or not," he muttered.
"Good lord. What are ya talkin' about?"
"How many times has she said she loved ya?" Daryl paused and looked to the ground before he went to work cleaning the deer. "Ya can't just ignore me," Merle said and walked up beside him.
He didn't speak as Merle huffed and puffed beside him. He wasn't going to talk about his feelings with anyone.
Beth knew. She had to know.
Finally he said, "It feel like it takes up more space than ya've got to give it?"
Merle met his eyes and nodded.
"That's how ya know, I guess."
The barn had become their unofficial home for a few days after the church and until the group could put together enough resources to start the trek to D.C.. She shivered at the thought of what happened inside the church. She had only seen the aftermath, and Daryl said that he took care of one with his bow, but she had seen Gareth and what was left of him. It terrified her.
Beth wanted to be hopeful about the future, but at the same time, she didn't want to get her hopes up so high that she got depressed if it turned out to be nothing. In theory, D.C. would be a good place to look for a safe zone, but it could have fallen already or never even been one to begin with.
She rocked Judith and sang quietly as she thought about what other options they had. There was nothing left for them here, so they might as well set out for someplace new.
She had just gotten Judith to sleep with she heard Daryl and Merle come back and the others thanking them and God which meant they had brought dinner. That was another blessing because they hadn't had much to eat since before Terminus.
Daryl walked in the door a few seconds later and nodded down at the baby. Beth closed her eyes and tilted her head back and pretended she was asleep then looked back to him and smiled. Daryl held up his bloody hands.
It was silly, but with no words at all, they told each other that their afternoon activities had provided the outcomes they were hoping for.
The rest of the day, Merle and Carol cooked the meat while everyone but Daryl, Beth, Carl, and Eugene went on a run. She didn't like that they got stuck babysitting him and Judith, but it was what it was. Since he was a priority, he had to stay back and he needed people to protect him.
Merle wanted nothing to do with him, and Carol kept to herself. Daryl's personality didn't really invite conversation, and Carl just looked at him like he was stupid, so Eugene ended up around her, talking, constantly, about one thing or another.
He was harmless, but so damn annoying.
It was getting close to dark and the others should have been coming back soon when he sat down next to her and Judith. She ignored the fact he was sitting on Daryl's blanket, and give him a small smile.
"Ya alright?" She asked and helped Judith stand up.
"Yes, I'm fine," he said in that matter-of-fact voice that drove her insane. "I have a proposition I'd like to run by you."
Beth raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm afraid to ask," she said finally.
"I understand that you and Daryl are in a relationship, but is that relationship open?"
She blinked at him. "No, it's not."
Eugene nodded. "I didn't figure it was, but there's no harm in asking, right?" He awkwardly bumped his shoulder with hers. "You're a beautiful woman."
"Uhhhh." It was as close as she got to forming any word when Daryl walked through the door and spotted them. He tilted his head to the side, eying Eugene as he walked across the barn.
"Ya got my seat," he said gruffly.
Eugene stood up. "Good talk, Beth." Then he walked away like he hadn't just asked her what he did.
Daryl took Judith from her and said, "They're back. Looks like they got a whole lotta shit, too, so I guess we'll be leavin' soon." He looked to where Eugene was standing. "What'd he want?"
Beth shook her head. "Just bein' Eugene."
Daryl grunted. "Won't fuckin' shut up. I don't think he knows how."
"Ya might be right."
Daryl was laid on his back with Beth laying across his chest later that night. Abraham was on watch near the front of the barn, and Rosita was on the roof, keeping an eye out from up there.
Him and Beth remained against the back wall, out of everyone's line of sight. He liked the small bit of privacy. Everyone else had moved toward the front and had already started packing up.
His and Beth's stuff had never been unpacked in the first place.
Daryl cleared his throat and struggled to get comfortable on the hard floor. He never had a problem before, but since he had become a pillow, he realized he used to move around a lot more.
"Be still," she grumbled against his vest and threw her leg over his hips.
"If I didn't wanna be layin' here, I could move," he muttered, always going to default dick mode when he was told to do anything.
Beth lifted her head to look at him. "Then who would I cuddle?"
He made a noise and shrugged.
"Don't uhh-uhh-uhhh me," she whisper laughed. In an instant, she was wide-awake and leaning over him. "Have I told ya that I think you're handsome today?"
"Ya musta gone blind," he said, barely containing the trace of grin that almost tipped up the corner of his mouth.
"I see very well, Mr. Dixon," she whispered and peaked over her shoulder, and he looked, too. Everything was dark and still then she faced him again. The kiss was short and sweet, but she snuck her hand under their blanket, and he groaned out loud.
"Shhhh," she whispered. "We don't wanna wake up the baby."
He nodded and bent an arm up and under his head to watch her. She unbuckled his belt, and he lifted his hips just enough for her to pull them half way down his thighs.
"I thought ya said we couldn't fool around no more," she said and her hand wrapped around his dick, stroking it to life.
"Said we wasn't fuckin' no more," he muttered and closed his eyes. Her hand felt better than his ever did, and tilted his hips up into her hand.
"Oh, well, that makes complete sense." She snorted a little when he tangled his fingers in her ponytail and started to push her down. "Tryin' to shut me up?"
"That wasn't the main goal, but if it's a perk…" Daryl trailed off as she moved the blanket off his hips. Beth moved to settle between his legs, and he sighed when she finally encircled his head with her lips.
He knew this sight, had witnessed it and felt it many times, but that first touch still caused little jolts of electricity to shoot up his spine. She wanted him enough to do this and let him tug on her hair and thrust into her mouth.
She did the same thing when he got between her thighs, but for someone like her to want to do that with someone like him just blew him away. She would say that it didn't matter anymore. They were the same, and they were each other's, but there was a part of him that would never forget the man he had been before the turn, and that part of him would always think he wasn't good enough for her.
"Damn, Beth," he mumbled and tightened his grip on her hair as she took him all the way inside then flattened her tongue along the underside of him as she sucked back up. Soon, she had him panting as quietly as he could and his legs were trembling. She hummed against him when he pistoned his hips and started guiding her movements over him, and he lost it. A strangled groan tore from his throat as he held her still and arched up off the floor.
When he had come back down, and let her go, she helped him pull up his jeans again before grabbing the blanket. Daryl grinned and put a hand on her cheek before he kissed her, drawing her back against his chest.
She was curling around him, and Daryl caught a small movement to their left. He shifted his eyes, but didn't turn his head and caught Eugene standing behind one of the walls that led to the main room. His eyes widened when they met his, and he scurried away.
He was just about to chase after him when Beth sighed and shifted her face against his chest. "I love ya," she whispered. "Goodnight."
Daryl cleared his throat. "Yeah, arrow, night."
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow wouldn't be a good day for that son of bitch at all.
Something hard hit Merle's shoulder and he rolled over and got ready to fight. Daryl stood above him, looking around like he had done something wrong.
"Need your help," he whispered. "Prolly gonna get our asses chewed for it."
"Okay," Merle said stood up and looked to where Carol was laying on the pallet next to his. They weren't all coupled up, but it was better than nothing considering the distance she had started to put between them since that small peck. "What're we doin'?"
Daryl nodded his head to the other side of the room, so they walked that way. "When Eugene goes out to piss, we're gonna grab him and hang his ass from a tree."
"Ya wanna kill the only chance we have at restorin' the order of things?" Merle asked. Daryl definitely didn't look like he had lost his mind, but that was some of the craziest shit he had heard in a while.
"Nah, by his legs or somethin'. I caught him watchin' me and Beth last night."
Merle nodded a little. "Ya know, now that ya mention it, I remember hearin' that Mexican girl sayin' that he does that from time to time."
"I don't give a shit. He ain't gonna be watchin' us no more."
"Hey, ya ain't gotta convince me. I was on your side when I thought ya meant killin' him."
"Good Lord," Daryl muttered and turned for the door.
Merle laughed quietly and they went outside to wait for Eugene.
She woke up to screaming, but not the screams that came from walkers tearing into someone. It was the type of scream she hadn't heard in a long time. High pitched and scared, like from riding a roller coaster.
Everyone jumped up at once and ran outside to find the noise and stop it before it brought down walkers on them. They all stared in confusion as they found Eugene strung up by both ankles from a low tree branch, a gag that had been in his mouth hanging in front of his eyes.
"What the hell happened," Rick asked him, looking over the rope and to where it was knotted at the base of the tree.
"I will not do it again," he hollered. "I swear it. I will not watch again."
"Help me get him down from there," Abraham said and strode forward right as Daryl came out from the trees a few yards away. He had some squirrels on his belt, so there was no telling how long Eugene had been hanging there.
Eugene wasn't by himself, though. Merle leaned around the tree and smirked as Daryl pulled out his knife and cut the rope. Everyone watched as Eugene landed heavily on his shoulders and neck.
"Daryl, I am sorry," Eugene said once more as he passed by him.
"Ummmhmm." Daryl nodded in his direction.
Beth chased after him, ignoring everyone as they followed them with their eyes. Daryl barely got around the barn before he started laughing quietly then it got louder the further he got away from the group. When she realized how tickled he had gotten, she started laughing, too. She would have never guessed his laugh would be contagious, but it really was, so was the smile that stretched across his face.
He looked really happy in that moment, and she wished she had a camera to capture it and keep it with her forever.
"What'd he do?" She asked as she tried to stop grinning at him. She knew though, it was embarrassing, but no one could have misinterpreted what Eugene had said, and Daryl's behavior.
"Somethin' he ain't never gonna do again."
Beth couldn't stop herself any more, she crossed the small space between them and wrapped him in a hugged. "You look so cute right now. It's killin' me."
Daryl turned his face into her neck and took a deep breath. "I love ya." He whispered, "I know I don't say it, but ya know it, right? A long time ago, ya said ya knew."
Beth thought back to the cabin he had taken her to and the date he had managed to set up. "Yeah," she said quietly and nodded. She leaned back and put a hand on his cheek. "I know. It's really great to hear it, though."
He shrugged and kissed her bottom lip, drawing it into his mouth slightly then backed away.
Beth smiled and nodded. It was okay that he was quiet about it and that he wouldn't be like Glenn or Abraham in their displays of affection and lust. He was Daryl Dixon, and he was all hers.
And if need be, he would string up a man in a tree just to make a point.
Merle walked in the back of the group with Carol. They had plenty of supplies, but one of the cars had died right after they crossed the state line, and Carol volunteered to find a new one, so he went with her.
No one questioned it, and he shot a look to Daryl that told him that he should stay back on this one.
Since she had kissed him, she seemed to be pretending like it didn't happen at all. If Merle tried to touch her or sleep close to her, she would inch away slowly.
He wasn't going to be pining over her, so he had decided that he would get her alone and ask her straight up. If she said she didn't want him, he would back off. If she hesitated for a single second, he was going to kiss the hell out of her and crack that mask.
Merle just had to work up the courage to speak, but that didn't look to be happening any time soon. Every time he would start to open his mouth, he would clamp it shut again and keep walking.
They had been on the road nearly an hour before they spotted a two cars on the side of the road. One of them had to work; otherwise they would have to go back since it was starting to get dark.
Carol started opening the doors of the first car while he went on to the second. It had a good bit of gas, but lots of bloodstains in the back. There weren't any keys, but he could hotwire the damn thing easy enough.
"This one's got gas," Carol said.
"This one, too." He stood up straight and leaned his arm against the roof. "Someone got eaten in the backseat. That why ya think they stopped? They run or somethin'?"
Carol shrugged. "Seems like a set up to me, but no one's come out yet."
"Somethin' bad don't have to pop up around every corner," he said and shook his head. "I mean, things are shitty, but ya gotta stop actin' like good stuff don't happen."
Carol smirked. "Someone's been hangin' around their sister-in-law too much."
Merle straightened up a little. "Don't go talkin' bad about Beth."
She ignored him and said, "We'll take both cars back."
As she went to sit down in the driver's seat, Merle finally started talking, "Ya wanna be with me or was that just a big fuckin' mistake?"
Carol stared at him with wide eyes. "Excuse me?"
"The other day. I just—I wanna know if this is somethin' or not."
The silence lingered, and his chest felt like it was close to collapsing. This was the woman he had searched for, thought about, cared for more than anyone else ever, and she was looking at him like she was sorry.
"Merle," she whispered and shook her head. "I don't think I—"
"S'fine," he cut her off. "No skin off my back."
He looked away from her and got in the car, slamming the door against whatever she was trying to say to him. After a few seconds, she got into her car, too.
Merle followed her back to the others and spent the whole ride telling himself that it didn't matter anyway. She thought she was broken, and who was he to try and convince her otherwise? His opinion might have swayed her before the sickness in the prison, maybe even before what happened with Lizzie and Mika, but it didn't count for shit anymore to her.
She had made up her mind, and the only reason she was still around was because she felt some need for penance.
Daryl might not have known it, but he had been right to not give that feeling a name. There were both Dixons, and it didn't matter that the world was over or that they were batting for the good side.
Dixons never got to have anything. Or if they got a taste, they never got to keep it.