I don't own CSI.
Rated T/M for language
WOW! Talk about giving you a LONG chapter! The LONGEST chapter yet!
I told you I would make up for the last one. :o)
I hope it will make you do the happy dance...but more importantly I hope you like the chapter!
I won't know though unless you tell me.
Oh boy, Nick is NOT happy. You haven't seen Nicky when he is PISSED OFF at Jules...
Well, you will in this chapter.
He loves Jules madly but no relationship goes without a fight now and then.
And Jules realllly made him FURIOUS.
ENJOY!
She didn't like it when Nick and Warrick had to work doubles but she didn't mind it as much when they both worked them together because that meant they both had the whole next day off at the same time. She was hoping she could have a BBQ tomorrow afternoon. She decided she would call Nick and ask him what he thought. She wouldn't do it unless he liked the idea. It would be fun and she wanted him to have some relaxation after everything that happened a few weeks ago. She ruined the last time he worked a double and had the next day off. This time, she wanted Nick to have some drinks, hang out with friends, and just enjoy the day without any chaos. She felt like she had to make it up to him for pissing him off so bad last week.
Nick had been so mad at her he would not speak to her for hours after he was finished yelling. She couldn't remember seeing him that angry at her before, but she knew it was because she scared the shit out of him.
She thought back to the day that the post card arrived.
She had been making lunch for herself, Emma, and Trista who was on her way. She had left the front door open for Trista and she looked up from the counter when she heard her walk in.
"Hey, Trist," she greeted her as she walked into the kitchen, "You're just in time," she said as she washed her hands.
"Here's your mail," Trista said tossing it on the counter.
"Thanks, can you throw it on the desk for me?" she motioned with her head to the kitchen desk as she brought a bowl of salad to the table.
"Who's Mark?" Trista asked confused.
"I don't know…who?" she asked back.
"I don't know, you tell me…this is from a guy named Mark…Mark Overby," she repeated.
"Isn't he a poet? Or a writer or something, no? I don't know…Why do you ask?" Jules said equally confused.
"He sent you a postcard…about love?" Trista laughed, "Oh Boy, now YOU'RE cheating on NICK," she chuckled at her own joke knowing that would never happen…she knew damn well that Jules would ever cheat on Nick.
Jules walked over to where Trista was standing and snatched the postcard.
She stared at it a minute. The picture on the front was of the Las Vegas Pier. Jules knew it well. She and Nick used to walk it a lot when they first dated and they still do when they go out alone together.
Jules looked closer at the picture of the pier and saw a red ink splotch in the center. Suddenly she felt a little sick remembering the picture that Cole sent to her hospital room of her and Nick on the pier with their faces scribbled out in red. It suddenly made her afraid.
She flipped the postcard over.
"Jules? What is it?" Trista asked.
The postcard Jules was holding was a simple postcard that would not have meant much to most people but Jules knew as soon as she saw the picture and read the back, not only what it meant, but who it was from.
Love is much like a wild rose,
beautiful and calm,
but willing to draw blood in its defense.
Mark Overby
"Oh, God…" she whispered.
"Is it a love note from Nick? God that man is too fricken good…I have decided I hate him," she grumbled jokingly and went over to the table to pick out a tomato from the salad.
"I gotta go…Can you stay with her?" she asked grabbing her purse off the desk and stuffing the postcard inside it.
"Uh, yeah, but…I don't understand, Jules…why? What's the matter?" she said loudly as she followed Jules to the front door.
"I can't… I just have to do this…I need to talk to him," she said fast as she scurried to her car.
"To who? Nick?" Trista yelled out.
"Yeah, yeah, I will explain as soon as I come back…Do you care how long I'm gone?" she yelled from her car.
"No…I still have a car seat…I'll take her out with me to Brett's in a little while…when she gets up….but Jules…call me, okay? I want to know why his quote bothers you!" she yelled as she watched Jules pull quickly out of the driveway.
Jules brought another laundry basket and continued to fold the new load. As she did her thoughts went back to that split second decision that would ultimately enrage Nick. She remembered how her palms were sweating as she drove. She wasn't even sure what made her think she could make him explain himself…explain why he was doing this to her…looking back, she would have done things differently.
Jules blew the air from her lungs as she remembered…
She heard Nick come in the front door and call her name but she didn't go to him because she was making meatballs and her hands were a mess. She heard him come into the kitchen and was about to turn toward him expecting to get a kiss "hello" but was startled when he came up next to her and slammed his hand down on the counter.
"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!" he yelled furiously and frowned with anger. His Texas accent came out even more when he was angry.
"Um," she didn't know what to say.
She knew immediately why he was mad. She just didn't know he would find out before she had a chance to tell him…to explain herself. It had not gone well, or as she had hoped, so she wasn't even sure she wanted to tell him. Now, she didn't even have to tell him at all…he already knew.
"Um? Um? UM NOTHING! YOU WENT TO SEE HIM? YOU TALKED TO THAT SON OF A BITCH? YOU WENT THERE!" he rattled off questions like a madman.
Jules remained silent. She began washing her hands and leaving the rest of the ground beef in the bowl.
"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING, JULES? WHAT!" he screamed.
"Nick…I…give me…" she stuttered in defense.
"NO! NO! THEN…THEN I TRY TO CALL YOU AND YOU DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE?" he yelled at her.
"I had to turn it off at the jail and I forgot to turn it back on…I'm sorry, Nick, I just…," she explained but was cut off from his wrath.
"YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN THERE…AND IT ISN'T A JAIL…IT'S A FUCKING PRISON! MY WIFE GOES TO A PRISON TO TALK TO THE MAN WHO MADE OUR LIVES HELL? AND I HAVE TO HEAR ABOUT IT FROM OFFICER YOUNG?" he slammed his hand down again loudly rattling the decorative jars.
Nick was furious.
She could see the fury dripping off of him and she noticed there was not one "Darlin'" or "Sunshine" attached to his sentences.
"AND WHY DIDN'T YOU ANSWER THE HOUSE PHONE, JULES?" he asked annoyed.
"I just walked in, Nick!" she said drying her hands on a kitchen towel.
"WHERE IS MY DAUGHTER?" he yelled while looking around.
"With Trista…relax, my God!" she said walking to the refrigerator to put away the eggs.
"RELAX? JULES, I AM SO MAD AT YOU RIGHT NOW I COULD SCREAM!" he yelled following her to the fridge.
"You are screaming," she said with her head inside the refrigerator.
"JULES, I SWEAR TO GOD, I AM NOT JOKING!" he stormed out of the kitchen and then walked back in again.
Nick didn't know which way to go.
He was so mad he went in circles.
Nick leaned back in his chair, stretched his back and arms and yawned loudly. He was sitting in the break room at the Crime Lab alone and just about to call Jules when he thought about last week and how mad he had gotten at her. He did feel bad for yelling at her like that, but she really did scare him for hours before he could even get a hold of her. In fact, it still pissed him off when he thought of it.
He remembered back at how he heard about it first from Officer Young. He remembered how his stomach dropped when he told him.
"Hey Nick, I was just looking for you, man," Young said walking next to Nick down the hallway.
"Yea? Why's that, Young? What's up?" he said looking up from his file.
"Well, I would wanna know if my wife was…uh, where she doesn't belong," he said wincing.
"Excuse me?" Nick closed his folder and stopped in his tracks.
"Well, I was just down at the joint and I saw your wife going in…" he began.
"You sure it was MY wife?" he said frowning.
"Yea, yep, I am pretty sure it was, man," he answered.
"WHO did she go to see?" he said with his jaw clenched thinking he already knew the answer.
"I don't know I just saw her go in…and I thought you should know," he told him.
"Thanks a lot, Young, I appreciate it. I owe ya one," Nick said and turned to walk the other way.
Grabbing his phone from his hip he called Jules. Nick's fury grew stronger when she didn't answer. He waited fifteen minutes in the break room with a cup of coffee and a clenched fist. He called her again and still there was no answer. Nick began to worry. He was scared of what she might do…who she was visiting…why… and all the stress involved. Nick was very worried and it made him angry that he couldn't even get in touch with her.
With anger, he threw his mug in the sink and left it there.
He went to Brass's office.
"JIM?" he said loudly.
"Nick…I already know," he said rubbing his forehead.
"WHO! Who did she go see? Brooke or Cole?" he said and slammed himself into the chair in front of Brass's desk.
"The log showed she signed in as a visitor for James Cole," he said staring back at Nick.
"FUCK…SON OF A BITCH," he stood up and kicked the chair. "She doesn't belong there, Jim!" he yelled.
"I know…I agree…I just got wind of it," he told him, "Tom Sobel called me a few minutes ago and told me about it. He thought I should know…we're all looking out for you two, Nick, don't worry, okay? She will be fine."
"NO, NO, This is bullshit, Jim! She is pregnant for God's sake!" he said pacing, "She knows better!"
Jim took a deep breath and picked up the phone.
"I will call there and have her removed, Nick…I will get her out of there now, okay? Calm down, I'm sure she has a reason…she is tough," he reminded him.
"No, she thinks she has a reason…she can't get answers from a narcissistic sociopath and she doesn't see that!" he shook his head, "I can't get a hold of her, Jim, what if she is upset? What if Cole hurts her?" he said as panic streamed through his veins.
Nick continued to call his wife for another couple hours. He paced the floors and he even shot home to see if she was there. When she wasn't the panic grew fierce.
Nick shook his head at the memory. It made him mad just thinking about it. He had been so scared.
Jules continued folding Nick's T-shirts and putting them in the laundry basket. She looked over at Emma who was happily playing with play-doh at the kitchen table.
Jules let her thoughts continue to roll back to that day.
She could still hear the clanking sound of the steel doors closing behind her. She could still see him coming closer in his orange jumpsuit and cuffs. The sight of him made her heart race and her palms sweat. He still made her physically sick.
"Well, well, well, what did I do to deserve this visit, Love?" Cole asked her with a sinister tone.
"I came here because I need to know...When will you stop, Jimmy? Why won't you stop?" she asked pleading with him for answers.
"Is that what you came here for?" he smirked. "Or did you get my postcard and just need to see me again?" he gave her a kiss in the air that made her skin crawl.
"Yea, I got it, Jimmy…and I hated it…Look, I just need you to stop this obsession already, Cole. It has to stop. WHY won't you just STOP?" she pleaded for an answer.
"Why? That's easy my Wild Rose…Because YOU said 'Forever', remember?" he reminded her.
"But, it's over. Our forever…it ended many years ago," she told him.
"And you think you are smart? Don't you know, you idiot, FOREVER doesn't end…"he shook his head, "...yeah, college education did you well," he mocked.
"OUR forever did, Cole. It's done. Just stop! Stop with the cryptic postcards, stop with the scheming with people to hurt me, JUST STOP!" she demanded.
Jimmy Cole laughed. He laughed hard. Then harder still.
"As if YOU could EVER tell ME what to do?" he laughed a little quieter now. "
How's CSI Douche Bag?" he said smirking. "Has he been fucking any college babes lately?"
Jules looked up and glared at him.
"Oh now, Love, come onnnn, don't give me that look!" he chuckled.
"Yeah, that was cute, Cole…real cute…did you think that up all on your own? Did you sit in your cell and wonder if I cried when I saw him in those pictures with Brooke?" she grit her teeth.
"Pretty much," he laughed, "I wondered when you would figure out I was involved…you know how I was the King of Roofies in college, remember? Dumb fuck sucked back a roofie and never knew what hit him…fucking pussy," he shook his head laughing.
"Fuck you, Jimmy," she rolled her eyes.
"Ohhh, you're right, you're right, he can't help it if deep down he wants to fuck other women…he is a man after all, right? Oh wait…no…NO, he isn't! He's a fuckin' piece of shit that makes less money than his idiot wife!" he snarled.
Jules continued her glare.
"Look at YOURSELF, Jimmy, you still tell me I am stupid…you always said I was nothing but dumped garbage…you told me I wasn't worthy of anything and even my own mother didn't want me! You hated everything about me, Cole, EVERYTHING I did was wrong. So tell me, why do you care if I moved on? Why do you care that you lost me? Why can't you just look at it as a good thing?"
"Because you are what you are today because of ME! I made YOU! And I don't lose on my investments…and let's face it, Love, I invested a lot of time into cleaning you up!" he leaned closer to her and growled.
"You are wrong, Cole…YOU were the one who FAILED out of college…you were the one who told me I would never make much out of myself so not to even try…I got my degrees, Jimmy, I became the youngest chemist to lecture…the youngest to hold the positions I have had…I was the one who became top in my field…So tell me, Cole, who is the loser now?" she leaned in and told him with hatred.
"Are you back to work yet?" he ignored her insult, "Still making the big bucks? Supporting your loser husband still? I hear you bought that big, fancy, house…with YOUR money I'm sure, I know damn well he isn't up to paying for that," he laughed.
"You are so wrong, Cole…he did own a house too ya know…we sold TWO…mine AND HIS!" she snapped back at him.
Jules had become defensive of Nick…she defended him unnecessarily before cringing knowing she just told Cole far too much information.
"Two? As in you…You sold that rental you owned in Jersey?" he began to get angry and it showed.
"Yep, and it's none of your business," she smirked aggravating him more.
"YOU BITCH! I told you not to!" he growled. "How about the shore house? Did you? You didn't sell that, did you?"
"You have nothing to do with my investments…nothing to do with my income…nothing to do with my home…Jimmy, you have nothing to do with MY LIFE! So don't ask me what I sell, what I buy, what I do…you don't get to know what Nick and I do!"
Cole stared at her and turned red in the face. He thought about reaching over with his cuffed hands and slapping her. She knew he didn't want her to sell any properties without his consent. She knew he wanted that shore house for when they would be together. He stared holes into her.
Jules stared back with hatred.
"Whatever, Cole…you're so pathetic," she laughed. "Still thinking about money, huh? So pathetic," she shook her head and rolled her eyes.
Cole looked over at the guard and swallowed back his anger. He wondered if he should just haul off and punch her in the face…he was weighing the pros and cons. He decided to keep the conversation going.
"How's your daughter? Emma is it?" he smiled changing the subject, "Nice name…Emma. I hear she is a pretty little thing too…what is she three now? Not quite right?" he rattled on.
Jules felt her heart race. He knew too much about her and her daughter and it was frightening her. She thought she could handle this. Now she wasn't too sure why she even came, but she continued.
"Don't worry about my life, Cole…not me, not my husband, not my kids," she said instantly knowing she made the mistake.
"Kids?" he stared.
"I said KID," she said quickly.
"No, you said kids…plural…You have another baby with CSI Scumbag , Love?" he growled.
"Fuck off, Jimmy," she said feeling her blood pressure go up.
Cole slammed his fists on the table.
"You bitch!" he snapped, "he knocked you up again, didn't he!"
The guard stepped forward but Jimmy backed away.
"I just want you to stop, Jimmy, I want you to stop hurting me…leave me alone…please. I have a family now, Cole…PLEASE….Can't you just stop it?" she begged him.
"Is that reallllly why you came here? To beg me to stop?" he smirked.
"YES. Is that what you need? Then I will beg you, Cole. I am begging you. Please, I am sorry for everything…you were right…it was me…I'm sorry," she pleaded.
"Like I actually think you believe that? Please. No, you and I…forever…simple, really. But, if you really want me to stop…show it to me in your kiss that it was your fault and not mine," he said leaning closer. "Kiss me. Right now. Right here," he said softly.
Jules couldn't bear it. She thought she could handle this. She thought maybe, just maybe she could make him see she needed him to stop. It was stupid. She should've known better. The visit was doing nothing but scaring her and upsetting her greatly. She thought about the babies she was carrying… she knew then, she needed to leave. She needed to just stop trying to get this insane man to understand.
She realized at that moment that he would never go back to the Jimmy she knew. The Jimmy Cole she once cared about was long gone.
"I need you to stop, Cole…let that decent kid I fell in love with in High School shine through just for a second!" she begged.
"You want to talk about DECENT? What would YOU know about being decent? YOU FUCKING SHOT ME!" he ground his teeth and patted his shoulder. "You still never paid for THAT! You act all hurt because you were made to think your precious CSI was fucking someone else…big deal! Big fuckin' deal! I got a bullet stuck in my fuckin' shoulder with YOUR name on it!"
Jules stood up. She placed her palms on the table and leaned forward.
"You should be happy that I am short, Jimmy…because I was aiming for your HEAD!" she spat back.
Cole grew angrier.
Jules continued.
"Cole, you said we'd be together forever… until death, remember?" she whispered.
"Yep, that's right, Love," he feigned a smile.
"Well Cole…our forever ended… That 'YOU AND ME' you speak of…IT'S DEAD," she growled at him with hatred in her voice. "YOU, JIMMY, ARE DEAD TO ME," she said, "I am glad my mother is also dead…and I hope one day SOON you will join her in Hell…but until then Cole, even if you keep breathing… YOU are STILL dead too!"
Jimmy Cole's head snapped up and he laughed before he stared at her.
"Dead? You think…YOU DUMB, STUPID, BITCH!…" he slammed his hands down on the table and then lunged for her.
He wanted to grab her face and tell her something but he didn't have the chance. The guard moved in and told Jimmy that he was done. He broke the rules… he got to close and too angry.
"Say hello to my mother in Hell, you Loser! And leave us alone and just die already!" Jules said firmly as she walked to the door and was escorted out by the guard.
She wondered for a moment what Jimmy was about to tell her but she knew it didn't matter. He was a worthless scumbag that had nothing but horrible things to say. She wished she hadn't wasted that hour with him. She was sorry she ever thought she could make him understand.
"Mommy?"
The tiny voice brought her back to her kitchen.
"Yes, Emmy?" she replied.
"You like dis? It pretty, right?" she asked holding up a round, multicolored, ball she made out of play-doh.
"Oh that is cool, Em! You mixed the colors!" she smiled and continued folding.
Nick finished his coffee and stared at his phone and before he could call his wife he continued his thoughts.
His mind wandered back.
"WHY DID YOU NEED TO SEE HIM, JULES?' Nick demanded.
"Because Nick, I just needed him to know he had to just stop this…he needed to know that…" she tried to explain her actions but Nick wouldn't hear of it.
"YOU CAN'T! YOU CAN'T GET THROUGH TO SOCIOPATHS! HE IS A FUCKING NARCISSIST! YOU KNOW THAT! WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?" he yelled.
"I'm sorry! I know it was stupid," she looked down at her feet and leaned against the counter.
"STUPID? NO, IT WAS MORE THAN STUPID! IT WAS FUCKING IDIOTIC!" he was yelling so loud it surprised her. He never got angry like this.
"You really don't have to yell at me, Nick, I said I was sorry and I know I was wrong," she said still looking down.
"WHAT DID HE SAY TO YOU? WHAT DID HE SAY?" he demanded trying hard not to show that he was very afraid Cole revealed to her his and Warrick's secret.
"Exactly what you would expect him to say…" she sighed thinking about how rotten he spoke to her.
"I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HE TOLD YOU!" he said panicked.
"He talked typical Cole. He told me he made me what I am today and he won't give up on his investment…blah, blah, blah" she said making light of it hoping it wouldn't send Nick on a rampage against Cole. "But…he also said…that Brooke gave you a Roofie in your drink…THAT is how she got you in that room, Nick!"
"WHO CARES HOW? IT'S OVER!" he shook his head uninterested in that fact, "WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HIM? TELL ME THIS CONVERSATION! I WANNA HEAR IT!" he insisted.
"I asked him to leave us alone…I told him he was dead to me," she admitted.
"YEAH, LIKE HE GIVES A FUCKING SHIT ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT!" he shook his head with disgust.
Nick now was sure Cole never told her about Jolene and he felt relieved about that but…he still couldn't shake the after affects of the fear he had… The fear that she was hurt or she needed him. He was still shaking from how bad she scared him.
"You're right," she admitted.
Nick walked to the refrigerator, gripped the handle, but as he was about to open it, he stopped and turned around.
"ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS!" he yelled directly toward her, "WHAT IF HE GRABBED YOU? I KNOW THERE ARE GUARDS, JULES, I KNOW THAT, BUT IT TAKES ONE SPLIT SECOND AND HE CAN GRAB YOUR THROAT. HE MIGHT NOT KILL YOU BUT HE WOULD ROUGH YOU UP ENOUGH…AND YOU ARE PREGNANT, JULES! PREGNANT! DO YOU REALIZE YOU PUT THE BABIES IN DANGER TODAY!" he frowned at her.
Nick was not only furious because he specifically told her to stop with the senseless questions of why Jimmy Cole did what he did. Not only because he made it clear that it was just her hormones and he did not want that poison clogging her mind. And not only because he told her time and time again to stop it and she still didn't listen. True, those things did enraged him but they were not the real reasons he went ballistic on her.
What had made him the craziest was how he was absolutely sick with fear when he couldn't get a hold of her. When he couldn't find her he was so afraid she was bleeding somewhere, alone, and needing help. Or crumpled in a ball crying over what she heard from Cole. All Nick could think of was why else would she not be at home or answering the phone. His fears had made him insane and upset him far worse then his fury.
It hurt Jules to hear that she put their precious babies at risk…and she knew she couldn't defend herself.
"You're right," she said again this time choking up.
Jules couldn't argue with him because she knew she was wrong in so many ways. She didn't mean for it to be that way but it certainly was the way it turned out. It seemed like a good idea at the time… when she saw that postcard she just allowed her emotions to get the best of her...she saw the error now though.
She never meant to scare Nick. She never meant to forget to put her cell phone back on once she left the prison. She went to the grocery store after her visit with Cole and it took her awhile…the time it took her shopping was time Nick spent pacing floors, stopping home, and worrying himself sick.
Nick could see his yelling was upsetting her now. He knew he had said enough but he was just so mad. He had been so worried and it scared him so bad to think Cole could hurt her with his hands or his words. He couldn't stand to see him hurt her anymore. Nick was scared to death that it would be Jimmy Cole who would tell her that her mother was alive and that he and Warrick know about it. He didn't know how she would take it and he was petrified she was not okay.
"I know I am fucking right, Babe!" he lowered his voice but the anger remained.
Nick realized he was still clenching his keys and instead of hanging them on the hook as he always does, he threw them hard on the counter. Jules watched them slide along the granite and fall off the other side of the counter onto the tile floor below.
"Jules, I never tell you what to do…never…but I am telling you…right now, I am telling you, "he pointed his finger directly at her and as she looked into his eyes she saw the fear she had caused, "YOU are to NEVER go see him again…do you hear me?" he threatened.
Normally she would fight back at anyone who told her what to do and made demands but this was Nick and she knew how scared she made him. She knew he was right. She did put her herself in harms way and there was no excuse for that especially since she is pregnant. She never thought about Cole being able to grab her but he was right, it could have happened. He was right all the way around.
Jules looked up at him.
"Okay… I hear you," she nodded and went toward him.
Before she could hug him, he turned from her. He slammed his wallet on the desk and stormed up the stairs.
She could hear him at the top step.
"I'M GOING TO TAKE A FUCKIN' SHOWER!"
Then… there was silence.
…And it lasted for hours.