Ch. 23

I'm back to updating twice a week because it actually makes me write faster when I have a deadline.

Let's see how things are going for our group...

Beth sat in the high back reading chair across from Deanna and tried to look at ease.

The truth was, having a camera pointed at her was unnerving, especially after not having any electronics for the last two and half years.

"So, what did you do before all this?" Deanna asked as she leaned back into the couch.

"I was a high school student. I sang in the church choir, and I babysat on the weekends."

"So, a typical teenage girl?"

"I guess." She shrugged and attempted a smile.

Silence filled the room and Deanna cleared her throat before leaning forward. "I hear from Aaron that you're a decent hunter and tracker."

Beth nodded slightly. "I didn't learn that until after. Daryl taught me."

"Ah, Mr. Dixon. There's a bit of an age gap there," she stated and raised her eyebrow.

"Yeah," Beth responded slowly. In truth, it had been a very long time since she had even thought about that. The playing field was even with them. They were partners in all this.

"He could be your father," she said with little emotion. "Where you're at mentally and emotionally could be worlds different."

"Ya really don't know Daryl or me," she said and looked out the window to her right. "Ya don't know what we've been through together or even how we function as a couple. I'm an adult and can make decisions for myself."

"So, the age difference doesn't bother you at all? What about having children one day?"

Beth laughed softly. "Don't mention that to Daryl. Ya might give him a heart attack since he's so old and all."

Deanna leaned back and hummed. "You don't want children?"

Beth met her gaze and gave her a sad smile. "I always wanted a child, but all we do is run. I see what that does to Carl, to Judith. What kind of life is that?" Beth paused then said, "What's this interview for anyway?"

"Just to figure out who you are, so I know where to place you for work," she answered.

Instead of waiting for more questions, she dove into her story. "My name's Beth Greene. I'm almost nineteen years old. I know because it's gettin' cold and it's been three winters since this started. I'm good with kids. I sing and play the piano. I can hunt and track. I'm gettin' very good with a bow, and I'm a good shot with a rifle. Knife work is kinda iffy. Daryl wanted to teach me how to throw 'em, but I'm better with up close stuff. My basic survival skills are on point."

"What does that mean?" Deanna asked. "That the basic skills are on point?"

Beth shrugged. "I'm not afraid to kill someone if they threaten me or my family anymore."

Deanna's face was a blank mask. "I think that's good enough for now." Beth stood up to leave, and she continued, "I think you'll be fine here, Beth. We don't need wishy-washy apologists anymore, and I think you've proven that you're not either of those things."

"I'm not," she said with a smile, wanting nothing more to run back to Daryl.

"Losing a hand is a pretty gruesome injury."

She pulled him from his thoughts as she turned on the camera and sat down.

"It's not one of the fun ones, that's for sure."

"Tell me how you lost it," she said.

"Back of a beat up Chevy when I was fifteen. She was older and took the lead," he said with a smirk. "Ours wasn't a love meant to last, though."

She snorted and almost cracked a real grin. "Thank you for sharing, Mr. Dixon. Now, if you would explain how you lost your hand, that'd be great."

"It might come as a shock, but I wasn't always a very friendly guy."

"I wouldn't have guessed it," she sassed with a true smile.

"When I first met Rick, I's in a pretty bad place. It was early on in the outbreak, and I still had some crystal left. That shit turned me mean and belligerent. I ended up handcuffed to a roof in downtown Atlanta.

"Walkers came and the group had to run. The key got dropped down a drain pipe. The man that did that managed to chain the door to the roof closed, though. Nothin' was gettin' through that chain, and if I hadn't been so damn high, maybe I'd've realized that. But I was high, and I was hallucinatin'. I took my belt off, and I managed to throw it until I caught the buckle on a saw and pulled it over to me.

"I hacked away at my fuckin' forearm for awhile. Almost passed out." He paused then cleared his throat. "I've done a lot of stupid stuff, Ms. Monroe. That's near the top of the list. Shoulda just tried to cut off my damn thumb first."

She hummed and stared at him for a moment like she was taking in his answer. "You don't strike me as Carol's type."

He laughed a little. "Nah, she's a lot better than me. I guess you could say the apocalypse has been kind to us Dixons in that regard."

"What regard?"

"Women," he answered honestly. "Ya think either of 'em would have looked our way before the end of the world?"

"You're talking about your brother and Beth?"

"Did you interview another Dixon?"

"You think you're not worth their companionship?"

"My baby brother's never seemed like a happy man, but he smiles around her. She makes him happy in all this. I think he deserves that."

There was a silent pause in their rapid-fire conversation before she asked, "What about you?"

"Carol's my friend first."

Deanna switched gears. "What did you do before this?"

He thought back to the shine shack and what Daryl had told Beth; how he thought how right he had been.

"Just some redneck asshole."

"Did you have a job?"

He shook his head. "Nothin' stable. Pushed drugs sometimes, did some odd jobs to get money other times."

She got quiet for a minute then asked, "Where do you think you'd fit here?"

"Don't really think my opinion matters. I'm good on runs, and I'm a hell of a shot."

"Do you hunt like your brother?"

"Yeah, ain't got his sense of direction, though." That was the only time he would ever admit that out loud, and he would deny it forever it she mentioned it to Daryl. The last thing he needed though was to get stuck with a group and lose his bearings, though, so he was honest.

"Well, we'll see what we can find for you, Mr. Dixon."

He stood up and started to walk away. "Enough of the 'Mr. Dixon' shit."

"If that's what you want."

He closed the door behind him and went back to where they were staying down the street. The dog and pony show wasn't for him, but he really couldn't get out of it, so he would go along just like everyone else, but he wasn't about to cover up who he used to be.

When he got to their house, he walked up the steps and went to stand by Daryl who was sitting on the railing, cleaning his bolts.

"How'd it go," he asked without looking up.

"Bullshit."

Daryl made a noise and nodded.

At that moment, Carol walked out of the house, and they both looked up at her.

She was wearing a button up shirt and cardigan with a pair of khakis and loafers. Her hair was still messy, and she looked like she was wearing lipstick.

"What the hell are ya doin'?" Daryl asked.

"Took the words right outta my mouth," Merle added.

Carol sighed. "We need to play a part here," she said and straightened her already fixed cardigan.

"I ain't pretendin' shit," Daryl said gruffly.

"Me neither," Merle agreed.

"Then stick out like sore thumbs. I'm gonna slip right in, and in a couple of days, I'll know everythin' that goes on here."

She walked off the porch steps and looked back up, sending them a fake smile and small wave. "See you boys, later," she said cheerfully.

It rubbed Merle to wrong way and he yelled, "Ya look ridiculous!"

She didn't turn around, and he turned to Daryl. "What the fuck is happenin' around here?"

Daryl shook his head. "I don't know, man. Feels like it's gonna get away from us, don't it?"

"Without a fuckin' doubt," Merle agreed and leaned back against the house. "This is gonna be a clusterfuck."

Beth slipped up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. He relaxed a little and sighed.

"There's a big party tonight to welcome us all here."

He groaned.

"I know," she said. "Let's skip it. I really don't think I can deal with an evenin' full of people pretendin' like everythin's okay."

"Then we'll stay up here."

"Do ya think we should tell 'em we're not gonna be there?"

Daryl shrugged. "Fuck 'em."

Beth let go of him and walked back to the bed and laid down. He followed after her, and once he was laying on his back beside her, she curled around him.

"I think this place is just a huge distraction," she whispered.

"What'd ya mean?"

She shook her head against his shoulder. "It's like an oasis or somethin'. Like we're still in the middle of all this terrible shit, and we think we're safe 'cause we see this sanctuary, but it turns out it's not really all that safe, ya know?"

He nodded. "We need to keep our eyes open," he said.

"I have a feelin' like some people have already closed theirs."

Daryl didn't say anything, but he had the same feeling she did.

A week into living inside the safe zone, and Daryl and Beth still had no jobs.

Rick and Michonne were constables, and Rick had put Merle in charge of keeping the wall safe. When Merle asked him why he didn't pick Daryl, he said, "I did, but Deanna said she needs to think on him some more."

Merle had asked for Daryl's help, and he gave it. Beth looked after Judith, and tried to talk sense into Carl after she saw him hop the fence.

They were stuck in a weird limbo, and Daryl was tired of it.

"We gotta get up," Beth muttered into his shoulder.

"I'm stayin' in today, and so are you."

"Oh yeah? And who'll take care of Judith?"

"Carol. She told me to tell ya last night that she was takin' her around to the ladies this mornin'."

"Why?" Beth asked and sat up.

"She said that women love babies and these haven't seen one in so long that they'll lap that shit up."

"So, it's an in for her?"

They were making a game of the things Carol was doing to get to that inner circle of Alexandria woman. She was capitalizing on them not having shit to do but sit around and visit.

"Pretty much."

"At least we'll get the house to ourselves," she whispered and leaned over him.

"That was the plan," he admitted with a small grin.

Merle absolutely hated the Stepford look Carol had been sporting since they got there. Hated even more that she was playing up the weak, defenseless woman stereotype.

She moved to get out of bed, and he pulled her back to him with his bad arm.

"Just stay. Those bitches'll still be there in a bit."

She snorted. "I need to get dressed."

Over the last few days, she had kissed him a few times, but a couple of them didn't count because they were in front of other people, and she was using him. Merle didn't like feeling like a prop, but she wouldn't talk to him about it. Hell, she hadn't talked to him much at all since the welcoming party.

Who would have thought he would have been the one pissed about the lack of communication in his relationship?

"C'mon," he said quietly then kissed the side of her neck, sucking lightly.

She rolled over and let him keep going for just a little bit before she pulled him up to kiss her lips.

He slipped his hand under her shirt, and she stiffened as he moved over her ribs. At first he thought she was just ticklish and didn't want to flinch on him, then she stopped moving her lips and went completely still.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothin'."

The look on her face wasn't nothing, though. Her eyes were blank and distant.

"Ya alright?"

"I'm fine," she said.

Merle rolled away and looked up at the ceiling. He took two steadying breaths before he sat up and grabbed his pants off the floor.

He had never shared a room with a woman for more than a night, so living and sharing a space with Carol was new for him. All of it was new.

She kept her clothes folded or hung up, and he just tossed his down beside the bed. He didn't have much so he wore the same thing a few days in a row. She had something new every day.

Once his pants were fixed, he tugged on his button up then grabbed his prosthetic and started buckling the straps.

"If ya don't want me like that, it's fine," he said quietly. "I ain't gonna push ya. Do ya just wanna be friends or somethin'?" He asked and turned towards her. "Ya like me 'cause we match up in a lotta ways, but just not that one for ya?"

Her back was to him and her shoulders slumped a little.

"I don't know if I can, Merle. I've just—it's been years since it wasn't somethin' that was forced on me."

He nodded, not knowing what to say, but feeling his blood boil at the thought of her dead husband. Merle thought of her in tears from his beatings or numb to the bone after he held her down and raped her.

Merle started to walk to the door. "We'll do whatever ya want. I gotta get goin'. Daryl said he wasn't gonna help out today, and ya gotta get Judith, huh? Forgot about that." He was rambling, so he slipped out before she could say anything.

Suddenly, he wasn't too interested in keeping up conversation after all.

He worked the fence the rest of the day and avoided all the places that he knew she would be. It was almost dusk when he started back to the front gate and noticed that Daryl, Carol, and Rick were coming back inside.

His brother's face looked tight, but Carol went right back to smiling and waving at the ladies sitting on a nearby porch. Rick, though, made him stop. His eyes were narrowed, and he remembered that look from before Terminus. The one that said shit was about to go down.

"Hey, baby brother!" He called out, and Daryl looked his way. "Help me with this support beam."

Daryl seemed to sigh but nodded and walked his way. Rick went straight down the road, hand on the gun at his hip.

"What's goin' on?" Merle asked as he made a show of pressing his hands against the beam.

"A buncha bullshit," he said. "About lunch time, Deanna and Aaron showed up at the house. They want me and Beth to be a recruitin' team like him and Eric, but first she had a job for us."

"She wants y'all outta the way," Merle muttered.

"That's what I's thinkin', too. Then she started talkin' about those people that've been carving 'W's into people's heads. She wants us to track 'em, and then come back and take out a group to kill 'em before they attack here."

"Nah," Merle said and shook his head. "That's fuckin' crazy to send you and Beth out there. For all we fuckin' know, those woods are theirs already, and y'all are just walkin' into a trap."

"I know, but she didn't really give us much of a choice."

"What the fuck's that mean?"

Daryl was chewing on his bottom lip and looked away. "If we don't take the job they give us, we're supposed to leave."

Merle shook his head. "Fuck 'em. We'll leave now."

"I went and got Rick and Carol. Took 'em out, and told him all about it. Carol's been sneakin' into the armory. Did ya know that?"

"What?" With all the information he was being given, it felt like his world was getting turned upside down.

"Gave us guns after I told 'em, and then let it slip that Jessie's gettin' wailed on by her husband."

He closed his eyes. "Who?"

"Carol really hadn't been tellin' ya anythin' she's found out?"

"Obviously not," he said quietly and tried to push away the embarrassment at that.

Daryl sighed. "Jessie's that woman that cut Rick's hair. Her husband is the doctor. Ya met him, right?"

"Yeah." The image of the tall, blonde man flashed in his mind. Merle knew he was a drunk, and it wasn't too far off to assume he might get a little handsy after he had a few.

"Well, Rick's been sniffin' around her a lot, and the doc don't like it too much. Carol thinks that he's been beatin' her for awhile. Said she just knows it. She stole the guns so that we'd have somethin' if we needed to take over, but she wants Rick to kill Pete. I'm pretty sure that this is her way of gettin' Rick invested in shit again. She's playin' him, but he's lettin' her."

He just shook his head. It was so hard for him to believe what Daryl was saying, but Carol would know, wouldn't she? She had been easing her way into the inner circle with kind smiles and cookies. She probably knew every single thing that went on inside these walls, and she hadn't shared a damn thing with him.

"He gonna do it?" Merle asked finally.

"Who the fuck knows," Daryl said.

In the end, they did straighten up a few beams before calling it a night and heading back to the house.

Daryl went straight up to his and Beth's room where she must have been, and Merle sat down at the kitchen counter and watched Carol cook.

The others were all milling around, not paying attention, or they had gone to the other house to shower. They were lucky. Half the the safe zone had lost power the day before because something blew out in the solar panels for that area. That was another issue that needed solving.

"Ya ever gonna tell me about the shit you're pullin'?" He asked as he ran his fingertips along the smooth marble of the countertop. Stupid fucking house, he thought. This wasn't real. None of it was. This wasn't the real world anymore.

"No," she said quietly. "Daryl open his big mouth?"

"He tells me things I need to know."

Carol turned around and slammed her hands down on the counter. Maggie looked their way but quickly turned back around and walked down the hall. Another lover's spat, in their eyes. So damn stupid.

"Believe it or not, Merle, but I'm tryin' to protect you," she said in a whisper. "You make people uncomfortable. You're loud, you're scary, and they think they've let the outside come in with you and Daryl. I spend my days singin' your praises. I bring Judith around and tell them how without Daryl, she wouldn't have lived since we didn't have formula.

"I tell them Beth isn't strange. She's just quiet and still in shock since her father was murdered right in front of her, and then she was almost kidnapped."

"I told ya that in confidence," he whispered harshly. "She don't want no one to know how close it came, and now you're tellin' me ya told some gossipin' old bitches?"

"I do what needs to be done here. These people are children, and children like stories."

"Fuckin' bitch," he breathed.

"Go to hell, Merle," she said in a bored voice. "While you're walkin' the fence, I'm keepin' us alive, and in a position to keep this place. I didn't tell you anythin' 'cause if they ever find out, you know nothin'. You're not accountable at all."

"Fuck that. I can take care of myself."

"I know, but I do what I can."

He scoffed and closed his eyes. "So you're okay with Daryl and Beth bein' bait?"

She shook her head. "It's not gonna get that far. They'll go out and spend some time away, but they're not gonna get hurt."

"What that fuck's that mean? Ya don't know that."

Carol pulled a casserole dish out of the over and sat in on the stove. She sighed the said, "You have to watch all the pieces on the board then move 'em where you want 'em without it lookin' like it was your idea."

He stared at her a good long time before he scoffed and looked away. "Ya think you're protectin' us?"

"I know I am," she said seriously. "Just look around. Forget the new additions, they don't matter. Glenn is always on runs with Deanna's asshole son. Maggie is Deanna's protégé. Rick and Michonne got leadership positions right off the bat. Sasha's gone batshit crazy after Tyreese and Tara, and Bob can't help her at all. Rick's flirtin' with a married woman, and you missed the party, but you shoulda seen the kiss he laid on her cheek. If we're not careful, he's gonna screw us all.

"Then there's you, Daryl and Beth. Ya haven't tried to acclimate at all. Beth's showered regularly, I'll give her that, but she gives these people looks like they're insane, and they hate it. Daryl's silence and crossbow make him unapproachable, plus, gutting that damn possum on the porch didn't help either.

"So while everyone else is all worried about their new jobs or gettin' laid, I'm goin' and I'm doin'." She wiped her hands on her pants, and for the first time he realized that they hadn't spoken above a whisper this whole time, and no one was even snooping like they used to at the prison or even on the road.

"That's that then?" He asked and stood up.

"Yeah," she said. "That's that."

Merle left the kitchen and went up the stairs to their room.

According to Carol, the pieces were already in motion, but he wondered just what outcome she was hoping for.