Ch. 23

Huge author's note…sorry in advance!

I know a lot of readers are having a hard time with Carol right now, and I'm really happy about that, especially the ones that aren't sure whether they like her or hate her. Carol in this story (like the series) is imperfect and drastically changed from who she had been before Rick kicked her out of the prison. I will say this…she loves Merle. He's her best friend, and she truly believes that by keeping things from him, she is protecting him. Relationships are terribly tricky for these two, and since you're only getting Merle's POV, I really wanted to clarify that. Otherwise I feel like I'm doing Carol a disservice here.

Anyway, thank you so much for continuing read, review, and support my stories! These next few chapters are ones that I've really tried to get right, and I hope you feel the same way. This picks up with Daryl going upstairs at the end of the last chapter.

She was laying in the bed, trying to go to sleep. It wasn't that she was tired; she was just so fed up with everything that she thought if she went to sleep, maybe she would wake up in a better mood.

They came into her home. They told her what she was going to do or she would ruin it for everyone else. They were pawns, and from what Glenn had told Maggie who had told her, it wasn't the first time new recruits had been left to die or put in harm's way.

In fact, it seemed like Alexandria residents were trained to leave people behind. In the last week, Abraham had taken over the construction crew after all the men ran as walkers approached, leaving a woman right in their path.

These people were privilege cowards, and it made her stomach turn thinking about how that would run this safe zone into the ground.

"You awake?" Daryl asked quietly as he shut the door behind himself.

"Yeah," she whispered.

The bed dipped beside her, and he sighed but didn't speak.

She turned to face him and asked, "What did they say?"

He shrugged. "Said we need to go. Keep up appearances."

"We could be killed," she whispered. "And it wouldn't be quick, Daryl. We've seen what they can do, and I think they're in it for the sufferin'."

"I know, but we can't do shit about it. They've been findin' dead ones with that in their forehead and walkers all in the woods. It's like they're harvestin' 'em and lettin' 'em out when they need to. We ain't gonna go out there half-cocked. We'll be quiet and we'll look. No hero bullshit. We ain't gonna get close."

"What about everyone here? Everyone's losin' it a little since the solar panels went out. Glenn has to make a run with Aiden and Nicholas tomorrow, and they're makin' him take Noah, Eugene and Rosita with him. Abraham is super pissed about it, and Maggie says that Glenn doesn't trust Aiden or Nicholas. They're goin' to a freakin' warehouse. There could be tons of walkers inside."

"Nothin' we can do about it," he said and shook his head. "I don't like it either, but what else can we do?"

"We pack up our shit and leave," she said with conviction.

"Ya sound like Merle." He snorted then laid back on his pillow. "I think Carol's tryin' to pull off a take over without actually sayin' the words."

"What do ya mean?"

"She's pushin' Rick's hand about Pete."

Beth groaned. Everyone seemed to know that Pete was a waste of space, but no one did anything because he was their only doctor. Now, they had Bob, though, so nothing was stopping Deanna from getting rid of him, but still, she kept him on, and now they were dealing with the pissing contest between him and Rick.

Personally, she thought it was beyond stupid for Rick to put his sights on a woman who was married when something like that had been done to him, and it had resulted in him killing his best friend.

There was no talking sense into anyone, though.

Everyone was doing something stupid, and maybe she was, too, by acting like this was all above her. Politics weren't her thing, and sitting around drinking tea while walkers pushed up against the fence wasn't something she would ever do.

"Take this," he said and pushed a small handgun at her.

"Where'd ya get this," she said and sat up quickly.

"Carol," he answered quietly.

"Good lord. She's gonna get caught if she doesn't stop."

He didn't say anything, and she didn't expect him to either.

"Get our pack together," he said. "We'll head out tomorrow mornin' and stay gone a couple of days."

Beth nodded and got up while Daryl laid back on the bed. They were silent for a long time before someone knocked on their door.

"It's open," she called out.

Rosita poked her head in and smiled. "Hey, Aaron's downstairs. He said he needed to see you and Daryl."

"Thanks," Daryl answered gruffly then stood up.

She closed the door softly behind her, and once they were alone again, Beth said, "Wonder what we're gonna get threatened with now."

"Remember, he wasn't the one to tell us we had to go. He was just with her," he said and held out his hand. Beth took it and together they walked down the stairs.

Just like he thought, they didn't get threatened at all. In fact, as Daryl stood beside a restored bike, he was kind of in awe. It had been a long time since he left his bike, and he missed it. Now, Aaron was just handing this one over.

"What's the catch," he asked as he ran a hand over the seat.

"Nothing," Aaron answered. "I found it and fixed it up. I don't like riding them, but I think they're beautiful, so I did it in my spare time, which is a lot lately."

"Ya ain't lookin' for new people as much or somethin'?" Daryl knew the answer, but wanted to hear Aaron say the words out loud.

"Deanna says that it's too dangerous to go outside the fence," he said honestly.

"But not too dangerous for me and Beth to go," Daryl stated.

Aaron sighed heavily. "I know how it seems, and I'm not agreeing with her decision. I don't think anyone should go. You and Beth can take care of yourselves very well, though. That's the only reason she asked—"

"Told," Daryl said. "We weren't asked. We were told."

After clearing his throat, Aaron continued, "If you can find them, and lead a group to take care of the problem, our safe zone will continue to be just that—safe. We need you more than you need us, I guess."

They stood in silence as Daryl looked over the bike. Finally Aaron said, "I'm sorry things went down this way. When we followed your group, Eric and I were so hopeful that you would want to come back here and build this place up. Now, it seems like we've managed to put you in a corner, and I'm very sorry for that. It was never my intention when we saved you."

Daryl shrugged. "Everybody's got an angle. Ya just didn't realize what hers was."

Aaron nodded. "Well, we have spaghetti if you're interested. Eric is a great cook."

"Ain't got nothin' better to do," he mumbled. "Beth'll like it."

Aaron smiled. "Good. We don't really get a lot of company, so I'm happy that you'll stay."

"People are fuckin' stupid," Daryl said and went to the door that led from the garage back into the house.

He heard Aaron's choked laugh from behind him before he said, "Yeah, I think most of them are."

Dinner was great. Beth had a couple of glasses of wine and was tipsy again. She told Aaron and Eric about burning down the moonshine shack and her farm. Eric even got her to sit at the piano in the living room and play a few songs once dinner was over.

He sat on the oversized recliner with another huge glass of wine and listened to her sing. His eyes were closed, and he could feel the corners of his lips twitching up as she started the song she had san in the funeral home.

"You two are beyond precious," Eric said with a smile.

Daryl turned his head to look at him and shrugged. "Got lucky."

"No, it's just the way she's looking at you, and how relaxed you've gotten since she started playing. It's beautiful." He looked at Aaron. "Don't you think that's beautiful?"

Aaron ducked his head and smiled. "Yeah. It's nice to see two people so in love."

Daryl blushed a little and Beth stopped playing and went to sit on his lap. She took a sip of his wine and laid her head against his shoulder. "Ya know, if we make it back from outside the fence, we should do this again. It's nice."

"Absolutely," Eric said with a huge smile. "I love cooking and having company."

Before they walked out of the house that night, Daryl pulled Aaron to the side and said, "If shit goes down here, get yaself out. We plan on meeting at that cabin we found Beth and the others at. From there, we'll figure out where to go next."

Aaron looked at him in complete shock. "You're really offering us a place with you? After what I did with Deanna today?"

Daryl met his eyes for several seconds then nodded. "You're a good person. So's Eric. These people will drag ya down if ya let 'em."

They left Aaron and Eric's house that night, pushing the bike toward their own. Beth smiled and twirled down the street, her dressing floating out around her. She looked like a dream of his, and he wished he could stop time and live in this night forever. The safety, the warmth of the alcohol fueling his actions and thoughts.

He grinned over at her and forgot about what was about to come their way.

And he just enjoyed his little songbird, dancing and humming, occasionally singing as they went back to their home and their room.

The sun was bright in Merle's eyes as he watched Daryl and Beth drive out of the gate on that new bike. A few minutes later, the van carrying the crew that was going to the electronics warehouse exited, too.

He was posted up against the wall, as a feeling of nervousness settled over him. He looked to the construction crew and saw Abraham pacing. Caught sight of Rick walking down the street to where Jessie's house was, Carol holding Judith and talking with some women down the road a little ways, and Carl playing on a skateboard with some of the boys he had become friends with.

Sasha walked past him toward the gate, and he saw the sniper rifle on her back. He shook his head and followed after her.

Merle remembered what Carol had said the night before, and figured he'd give it his best shot with getting through to her. Or at least make it to where she wasn't going to get herself eaten alive by walkers.

He heard a stick snap to his right and Michonne walked toward him with her sword strapped to her back.

"What're ya doin'?" He asked her once she was right beside him.

"I've been watchin' her," she said quietly. "What're you doin'?"

Merle shrugged. "Just keepin' an eye on her, I guess."

"I don't know why y'all are followin' me," Sasha said once they got further into the woods.

"Someone has to care about your wellbeing since you're not," Michonne said.

"I don't need anyone to help me," Sasha said.

"Your brother'd beat your ass," Merle said.

Sasha turned on him. "You don't know anything about my brother."

"I know enough that he wouldn't have wanted ya to be like this."

She didn't get to say anything else before a group of walkers popped up out of nowhere and started stumbling towards them. They watched as Sasha went crazy, shooting, stabbing, and running into the thick of things.

He took care of a few, and so did Michonne.

It ended with Sasha on her back with a walker over her. Michonne rushed forward and pulled it off before Merle stabbed it through the skull.

"I had it!" Sasha yelled.

"No, you didn't." Michonne looked around at the carnage. "You're hurt, I know. I've been there. Hell, even Merle's been there, but you can't keep doing this. You have to accept what's happened, let it become a part of you, and move on. Bob is here with you, Sasha, and Tara knew the consequences of her actions. She gave her life to save yours. Don't just throw that away."

"I didn't want that sacrifice," she said as tears flooded her eyes. "I don't want people to die for me."

Merle looked away. The emotion in her voice was causing his chest to ache in a familiar way. Almost like the moment he saw Daryl in that ring with him at Woodbury. Shock, grief, and anger all mixed into one big mix of fucked up.

"We need ya," Merle said softly and brought his eyes back to hers. "Ya work that tower, ya keep an eye out. No one has to die for anyone if ya take up the watch."

She looked at him for a second, but as a tear slid down her cheek, she looked away. "I couldn't keep an eye on my own brother, and he was a room away."

"No walls in the tower," Michonne said. "You can see for miles."

Sasha nodded.

In the quiet, Merle glanced around at the walkers, and grunted as he pointed at one. "More 'W's."

Michonne nodded. "Yeah, they're gettin' closer."

"I'll go up in the tower," Sasha said. "We need to be prepared," she whispered and tugged on the sleeve of Bob's medical jacket that she had taken to wearing since the weather turned colder.

"No more trips outside the fences," Merle said and looked between the women. "I gotta feelin' that these bastards would do some sick shit if ya caught one of y'all alive."

He was surprised when Michonne agreed. "I think you're right. Maybe Daryl and Beth will come back with some news soon."

"I just hope they come back," he said and turned to walk back to safe zone.

"They will," Sasha said.

He must have side-eyed her a little too hard because she shrugged and said, "What? Just because I wanna die doesn't mean that I think they will."

"They're a real good team," Michonne said. "I'll admit, when they went public, it was shock, but the more you watch them, the more you see it, you know?"

Merle nodded. "Yeah."

They reached the gate and went their separate ways.

A few hours later, he looked up at the tower and saw Sasha with her gun on the ledge, looking through her scope.

If she could just hold it together a little longer, she could pull through.

"Van's comin'!" She yelled and Merle went for the gate.

He pulled it open and saw Glenn driving, covered in blood. Eugene was in the passenger seat looking into the back.

His hands were shaking as he secured the gate and ran to where they were parked. He threw open the back doors of the van and saw a beat up Noah and Rosita unconscious, bleeding badly from the head.

"Get Bob!" He shouted to some random Alexandria resident that had wandered up. "Someone get Abraham!"

"What the fuck happened?" Merle asked Glenn.

Glenn shook his head and looked like he was in shock. Eugene looked over at him and said, "Aiden and Nicholas are dead."

It didn't take long for word to travel, for Rosita to get taken to the make-shift hospital, for Deanna to lock her doors and mourn, for Noah to lock himself in his room.

Merle sat on the porch steps as everyone inside sat in shock as they listened to Glenn and Eugene explain what happened again and again.

Aiden shooting the grenade, everyone getting blasted back. Eugene saving Rosita. Nicholas trying to push the revolving glass door so that Glenn and Noah got pushed into the group of walkers. Walkers grabbing Noah's leg, but Glenn pulling him back then both of them ramming the door forward, pushing Nicholas back into the herd.

"It was him or Noah," Glenn said quietly. "And I just couldn't let that happen."

Merle looked toward the gate and worried more for Beth and Daryl than he ever had before.

"Look, Daryl!" She whispered yelled and pointed through the chain link fence. "It's food trucks."

"Looks like a fuckin' trap to me," he muttered.

"C'mon there might be some canned food we can take. We're runnin' low."

"Weren't ya the one that was all against Glenn and them goin' to that warehouse 'cause of the walkers that coulda been in there, and now you're tryin' to get my ass to go into a shippin' yard?" He asked and looked around the parking lot. "It's been three days. It's prolly time to start headin' back that way."

Beth sighed. "There are no walkers to be seen, Mr. Dixon. It's just us and an empty, locked up, fenced in yard. C'mon," she pleaded and pulled his hand toward the fence.

Daryl groaned but followed after her. This trip had been a waste of time anyway. What was one more side trip?

They hadn't found any traces of the Wolves anywhere. It was like they were a group of ghosts. They would find walkers and dead people with their signature on their forehead, but they hadn't actually seen any humans to connect them to.

Daryl didn't like that. It meant they could track and cover their tracks in return. A group of men like him and Merle that had gone way south.

Just that morning they had found a campsite that had been attacked. The men had been bludgeoned to death, but the woman had been tied to a tree and been gutted. No tracks leading anywhere after, no sign of anyone other than the people at the camp. It had just happened in the early hours of the morning, but they had vanished into thin air.

Beth slipped through the small space between the gates, and Daryl pulled them as far apart as they would go and squeezed through, too. He smiled when she smiled then shook his head. There was no telling what he would do for her if she asked him.

Once they were up on the loading dock, Beth and him walked down the row of trailers. They were all shut and locked, and it seemed like no one had been there in a very long time. It was almost untouched which to him threw up red flags since this place should have been one of the first to get picked over.

"This looks really nice," Beth said as she kneeled next to the lock of one of the trailers.

"Don't open that," Daryl said. He walked closer and knocked against the door. Beth stood up and listened, too.

When the first walker slammed against the inside of the trailer, Beth jumped back, and covered her mouth with her hand.

"What the hell?" She asked.

Daryl had no time to answer because all the trailer doors seemed to rise up at once and walkers with carved foreheads spilled out onto the loading dock.

"Run!" Daryl yelled. He fired a bolt into the closest walker and ran after Beth. The walkers came from all angles, though, and soon, they were boxed in.

Daryl slid under one of the trailers and Beth followed him. He found a stray chain and wrapped a good portion of it around his hand, leaving a bit off the end.

"We gotta get outta here," he said, his voice a little shaky. "When we come out, ya run for the fence, okay?"

"I've got your back, Daryl," she argued.

He just shook his head, and they moved for the other side at the same time. Three walkers came at him from the front and he slung the rope as hard as he could, slicing their heads in half. He heard Beth fighting behind him and turned to see her stabbing a walker in the head while holding off another with her hand pressed into its chest.

She took care of the second one right as he got to her. "We gotta fuckin' go," he yelled and pulled her along. He didn't bother to kill the walkers anyway, only pushed them away as he took off for the gate.

More walkers came from the front and he wondered just what kind of trap had been set that so many walkers were there. He turned and ran to the abandoned car in the middle of the lot and opened the door, pushing Beth inside then jumping in behind her and slamming the door right as walkers hit the vehicle.

"Fuck," he groaned and slammed his head against the passenger seat. "Now we know where they're keepin' their walkers.

The only noise filling the inside of the car was their heavy breathing, but it could barely be heard over the snarling of walkers. Daryl sighed and looked over at Beth, who was staring at a piece of paper in her hand.

She gave it to Daryl and he read the words that were scribbled along the paper.

Get out. It's a trap.

"No, shit," he muttered and tossed it to the floorboard. "I'm gonna push open this door, and I'm gonna draw 'em off. Ya run and get out that gate, and I'll meet ya when I'm done."

"Not a chance," she said and shook her head.

"Arrow, I'm about to push open this door, and I'm runnin'. I don't plan on dyin' today, and I don't plan on us gettin' caught by these bastards. Ya better run when I do."

She was about to say something else when a walker smashed into the glass, but his head had been busted open. One-by-one the walkers were dropping then his door was pulled open.

An older black man with a staff looked frantically at both of them. "Hurry! We gotta run!"

Daryl jumped out of the car followed by Beth, and they all ran for the fence, squeezing through just in time for the leftover walkers to meet the gate.

They were bent over, hands on their knees, gasping for air.

"Y'all didn't get bit, did ya?" He asked them and stood up, leaning on his staff.

"Nah," Daryl said with a shake of his head.

"No," Beth breathed out.

"Good, good." The man looked around. "Y'all have a camp around here? I'm tryin' to get to D.C., but I haven't been runnin' into many decent people lately."

Daryl stood up and nodded. "Yeah, there's a place. Where ya from?"

He smiled. "I'm from King County, Georgia."

"Really?" Beth said with a sigh. "I grew up in Senoia. My daddy was—is—Hershel Greene."

"He was a vet," the man said with a sad smile. "I'm sorry to hear that he's passed."

"Yeah." Beth looked away, and Daryl knew she was trying to keep it together.

"What's your name?" Daryl asked, shifting his crossbow around.

"Morgan," he said. "Morgan Jones."

Daryl scoffed. "Ya gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me."

"No, I kid you not."

"Well, Morgan Jones. I'm Daryl Dixon, and this is Beth Greene, and you're lookin' for Alexandria. D.C.'s a bust."

He looked visible defeated at hearing that. "I figured that would be the place to start over."

"So did we," Beth said with a shrug. "But we have a good place."

"Yeah," Daryl snorted. "And old friends, too."

Their little world had collapsed in all of seventy-two hours.

Earlier in the day, Merle watched from a few feet away as Rick completely lost his shit, beaten the hell out of Pete then yelled at Deanna and everyone else. The pure crazed look in his eyes made Merle scared.

Right there was a man with nothing to lose, or at least in his mind, because there was no one in this world that could beat him. His ego was on full display, and maybe it was that overconfidence that caused him to think he could go after Jessie in the first place or try and set the rules in a place where he had no established base.

Michonne knocked his ass out, though, and Merle had ended up carrying him to their house.

Now, Carol was around saying that a meeting would be held that night about his fate. Merle shook his head, and watched as Rick sat on his pallet and raised his hands at his sides. "I screwed up," he said like it wasn't a big deal. "I'll go there, and I'll listen to what they say, but if things don't go our way, we just slit their throats."

"Good Jesus Christ," Merle muttered. "Do y'all even hear yaselves? Y'all know somethin's wrong when my ass is tellin' ya that y'all are wrong."

"Then you can stay here and watch the kids," said Carol.

Merle wanted to wring her neck, but instead, he turned around and walked away.

He wasn't like her husband. He wouldn't put his hands on her. He wouldn't force her into anything. He wasn't going to be someone she could take swipes at either.

He went upstairs and picked up all his clothes and threw them in a bag, grabbed his knife, then went downstairs.

"Where are you goin'?" She asked as he passed through the kitchen.

"Not here no more," he said. "I get that ya got your issues, and I've changed enough to respect that shit. But I've been on the ground floor of creatin' a dictatorship. I watched the Governor build up Woodbury from by his fuckin' side, and I can't watch it happen again. This controllin' bullshit ain't gonna work. Hershel Greene is turnin' in his grave over all this."

"Hershel never got a grave," Rick said from the other room. "We were too relaxed then. We let lots of people die 'cause we still thought we could come back. We can't, Merle. We can't go back."

Merle shook his head.

Carol sighed. "Nothin' will happen as long as they don't try and kick Rick or Glenn out. Noah has been with Reg since we got here, and he's vouched for Noah. He's safe, and he's actually learnin' the stuff we need to keep this place runnin'. They think Glenn killed Nicholas and Aiden 'cause he didn't like them, and even Maggie can't change Deanna's mind."

He was frustrated as hell, and he couldn't say anything about Glenn or Noah. Both of them hadn't done a damn thing wrong, but the man they called their leader was making one bad call after another. "Maybe Rick should stop actin' like a fuckin' kid, and we wouldn't be in this position right now," Merle said as Rick stepped into the room.

"Just get it out, Merle. Let me have all your expert opinions," Rick snarked and leaned against the wall. His face was covered in little bandages from where him and Pete went through a window together earlier.

"Leave that bitch alone. She's married. Ya got her separated from her husband. Leave it at that, and now let him fuck everythin' up, but stop actin' like ya can't control your damn dick."

Rick snorted and looked down at his boots.

"Pete will ruin it, Rick," Carol said. "I pretty much made sure of that."

"What's that mean?" Merle asked and they both looked at her.

"I went to his new house and gave him some encouragement when it came to leavin' Jessie alone."

"Christ," Merle muttered. He walked to the door, but Rick's voice stopped him short.

"Ya gonna be at the meetin'? Ya gonna stand with us?"

"Yeah, I'll be there," he said after a few seconds of silence.

Merle walked down the steps and went to the house next door. The meeting was happening at dark in Deanna's backyard, and he had about an hour before it all started. He skirted the porch and went around to the side of the house and leaned against it, banging his head a couple of times.

Since the prison fell, they had lost two people, and they were damned good people with good hearts. If he kept on the path he was on, he would end up in the ground with them if the pattern continued.

Somewhere along the way, he had developed a conscience instead of losing it.