addiction - being abnormally tolerant to and dependent on something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming (especially alcohol or narcotic drugs)

Step 1 - We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable

Step 2 - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity

Step 3 - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God

Step 4 - Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves

Step 5 - Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs

Step 6 - Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character

Step 7 - Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings

Step 8 - Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all

Step 9 - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others

Step 10 - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it

Step 11 - Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out

Step 12 - Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs

Down Town New York Dress Store...

Blair's cell phone rang as she loaded her new dresses into her car. "Hello Serena why are you calling me?"

"You know why B I've been worried about you ever since the party? Especially with how you fainted."

"Listen S I'm fine and I am not even the least bit interested in going back to Chuck."

"Well You can never be to sure I mean he has broken your heart a lot of times."

"Well that was the last time I am so over that BASSTARD! That he could walk right up to me and I would not even care. He was like an unhealthy addiction that I am now clean and purged of."

"I hope that's true Blair God knows he doesn't deserve you after what he did."

"I know I mean he hasn't even come up to me and apologized! What kind of a coward is he? Talk about a hopeless loser Vanessa can have him for all I care."

"Really?"

"Yes really why do you say that Serena?" Blair asked raising an eye brow.

"Because you have forgiven him a shit load of times even when he didn't deserve to be."

"Well this is the last time and I promise you Serena Chuck means nothing to me as far as I am concerned he died the moment that he slept with that slut Jenny."

"Well that's good to here I have to go see you later okay B?."

"Of course S by the way you know you can come to me with anything right?"

"Of course why do you ask?"

"I don't know I just wanted to let you know. Bye."

After hanging up the phone Blair was getting into her car she was about to head home when she saw none other than Chuck walking across the street heading down some stairs in a basement. Even though it went against every one of her impulses she followed him into a basement. She then found herself standing in front of a door. She tried to open it but couldn't on the top was a sign it said members only." She could however hear what was said.

Inside the room...

"Everyone we have a new member please welcome him."

Chuck stood up. "Hi my name is Charles."

"Hi Charles."

"I don't know what where to begin I..." He paused for a moment to collect himself. "Ive done things terrible things I can't even tell you where it all began I was raised by my father though he wasn't around at all or ever he had more wives and mistresses than I can count. I think that's where it all began because I lost my virginity when I was twelve. I don't even know how I could possibly be in good health I mean I should be a walking STD but I'm not. It's funny I can't recall a single day I wasn't drunk or when someone actually like me. Now I'm sure there was a time when I had lots of friends but my choices have erased anything that was ever good about me in any ones memory." Tears began to flow from his eyes. "I actually never cared about any ones opinion until recently and that was when I stopped drinking and smoking. At first I thought quitting wouldn't be a big deal but then I started remembering things about my life and all these feelings of guilt, self loathing, and sadness just kept surfacing. A set of memories that keeps flooding back are the women that I would seduce one night and just kicked out next morning I mean before when I was drinking that wasn't a big deal and now it's like who the fuck was that back then. It's sometimes hard to believe that was even me you know. Then a realization hit me I have no identity. I mean I have been drinking, having sex, smoking, doing drugs, for so long that they have started to define who I am now you tell that that is not the time when a person needs to stop and rethink there life. I don't even know who I am really outside of all my partying everyone else I know does know exactly who they are but I''m still stuck because I am powerless. That's why I chose to do this so that I can find out who I really am and to prove that I'm not the bastard everyone has labeled me."

At that moment Blair started crying she couldn't help herself she immediately ran up the stairs so that he would not hear her sobbing or know that she still loved him.

She immediately got into her car and called Serena. She couldn't stop crying. "S I really need to talk to you you're right I'm still in love with Chuck and I don't know what to do."