105. Mad Movie part 2

SWOOOOSH!!!!

Amidst a spray of bulletfire, Gar Logan's trusty sidekick Noir dives into action.

In slow motion, his body flies through the incoming spread of air-warbling projectiles that barely miss his limbs. He rolls across the dance floor of the nightclub, gets up on his knees, and spins around with a flurry of lightning-fast martial arts kicks and punches and grabs as seen from rotating angles of dazzling proportions.

SMACK!!

WHAM!!

POW!!!

WHAP!!

THWACK!!

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

I spun to a stop.

Panting.

My Asian eyes squinted shut.

Silence……

I gulped.

I opened my eyes.

Every one of Cyborg's 'henchmen' were down for the count. Their guns were tossed and dropped everywhere.

I blinked.

I smiled nervously.

And then a sphere prompted Cyborg to--

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"RAAAUGH!!!"

Vic Stone runs across the higher tier of the nightclub, firing his uzzi nonstop.

RAT-A-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!!!!

Noir gasps and jumps out of the way. He cowers behind an upturned table and uses it as a shield. He sweats with gritting teeth.

In the meanwhile, Gar Logan pushes Corina Anderson back gently with a hand.

"Stand aside, Miss…this is for your eyes only."

"What are you going to do---EEK!"


Logan whips out a silver pistol, smiles, and takes aim.

"Marquis of Queensbary, please."

POW!!!

CLANK!!

"Wha—?!" Stone gasps as the uzzi is shot out of his hand.

Logan smiles a flashy grin.

"Rrggggh—TAKE HIM OUT!!"

The thugs get up, pick up their guns, and take aim.

Corina lets out a cry.

Logan grabs her and pushes her behind the bar counter and dives over it at the last second.

RAT-A-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!!!!

Bullets ricochet and fly off the outside of the counter from four gunmen at once.

Logan and Corina hide behind the protective barrier, wincing from the bullet shots.

"Your friends seem to care little about your safety, Miss Anderson."

"They are not my friends."

POW!!!

A bullet flies off close to their heads.

"Then why do you live in their domain?" Logan asks as he screws on a laser sight to his pistol.

"I go by the old phrase, Logan. 'Keep your allies close, but keep your enemies closer'."

PING!! POW!!

More bullets.

Logan smirks as he pops the sight of the gun into place. "I am your enemy, am I not? Care to hold me closer?"

Corina looks at him.

He winks and presses a button on his watch.

Meanwhile…where Noir is hiding.

Beep…Beep…Beep…

He looks at his watch. Logan's signal is reaching him.

Noir looks over the table he's hiding behind.

He sees a gunman with his back to him.

He takes a breath, vaults over the table, and charges the thug.

The gunman looks over at the last second.

"Huh---?!"

TH-WHACK!!!

Noir gives him a one-two chop in the side, then an uppercut across the face.

SMACK!!

Noir gets into a kung fu fighting position.

Stone and the gunmen pause shooting to see him.

At that precise moment, Logan stands up from behind the counter, eyes a light fixture above the distracted men, takes aim with his laser pointer, fines the chainlink support, and fires—BLAM!!!

CLINK!!!

The heavy half of the light fixture swings free and---SWISSSSH-SMACK!!!

Stone is knocked harshly into two of his thugs.

WHUMP!! "OOF!!!"

The last man standing gasps.

Noir dashes at him.

The man ducks cowardly with his chin barely peeking over a table top as he takes aim and fires.

RAT-A-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!!!

In slow motion, Noir vaults off a railing to a tier of the nightclubs, flips in mid-air, twirls and dodges the streaming bullets, uprights himself on the descent, and lands with his feet planted against his side of the tabletop.

WHAM!!!!!

The tabletop upends, clipping the gunman's jaw upward. THWACK!!! The man shoots up like a pinball.

Noir leaps over him, grabs his shoulders upside down, lands, and flings him over his neck with a silent cry.

SWOOOOSH!!!


The thug's body flies across the nightclub and lands through a dinner table where a few citizens cry out and scurry away.

CRASH!!!!

Logan jumps over another table and runs into the center of the nightclub to join Noir. He fires a few shots at Stone and his remaining two men.

BLAM!! BLAM!! BLAM!!


The men crawl behind metal railings and take cover.

Stone angrily stands up, faces the bulletfire, and returns with his own volley.

RAT-A-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!!!

Noir and Logan jump and hide behind an overturned table.

Bullets ricochet all around them.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Beast Boy reloaded his prop gun…or maybe it was a real gun…or maybe--

"Dude…the next time I say we go to Bolivia….we go to Bolivia…," he said.

I looked at him strange.

He smiled crookedly above the noise. "A joke, man! Come on…isn't this fun in some crazy sense?!"

PING!!!

A bullet bounced off beside my head.

I winced and put on a brave smile.

SWOOOOSH!!

A colored sphere floated up to us and Mad Mod's voice warbled: "What in the bloomin' hell are you scabs up to?!"

"Nightclub shootout scene!" Beast Boy cackled.

"But you're not SHOOTING anyone, lad!! You should aim better with that boomstick of yours! Gar Logan wouldn't hold back!!"

"Dude…you don't know me…"

ZAP!!!!

"OW!!! I'm not a murderer, dude!!"

"And do you really think either those bullets or those henchmen are real, you twit?!?!"

"………."

I looked at Beast Boy.

"Go out there and bullet their arses off before I make you repeat the entire scene!!"

My green elf friend grumbled. "Thanks for the license to frag."

He jumped up.

I jumped up.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Gar Logan and Noir spin into view from behind the table.

BLAM! BLAM!!

Logan's bulletfire sails across the echoing nightclub and into the chest of one of the recovering thugs. THUNK!!


"Augh!!" the thug dramatically throws himself over a railing and across the floor with a twitch or two.

Noir charges Stone and the last thug.

Logan expertly shoots past Noir's shoulders.

BLAM!!! BLAM! BLAM!

The bullets knock the guns out of their hands.

The thug gasps as Noir charges up to him, grabs his shoulder, and flings him across the nightclub.

Logan takes aim and—BLAM!!—shoot's the man's back as he flies through mid air.

"PULL!" Logan smirks.

Noir takes a breath and dives into Stone.

Stone grabs Noir—growls—and throws him into the wall.

THWUMP!!!

Noir goes bug-eyed.

Stone brushes his hands off and turns around--

WHACK!!! Logan's pistol smacks across his face.

"OW!!!" Stone grunts. "Why you stupid green el—"

Logan coughs suggestively.

"Er….Gar Logan!! CURSE YOU, GAR LOGAN!!!"

Stone swings his massive fists at Logan.

Logan smirks and effortlessly backsteps and dodges each attack.

Stone stomps forward with a kick.

Logan twirls to the side, grabs a plate from a dining table, and smacks it across Stone's forehead.

SHATTER!!!

"Ughh…," Stone topples over across the table….still.

Logan twirls his pistol and aims into the man's skull. "As much as I would love to end your scummy life right here and now…," he hangs the pistol neutrally down by his side. "Her Majesty would prefer a more modest morality at the hands of her valued agents---"

THWACK!!!

Stone's fist suddenly flies up into Logan's chin.

The man flies back.

GRIP!!!!

Stone grabs him by the throat, then turns him around and puts him into a headlock.

"A little message from Madame Moonflame…," Stone sneers. "I've been granted the great privilege of adding another bag of bones to Skull Corp's trophy room. And guess who's the lucky corpse?!"

Logan looks up, gritting his teeth. He sees a throng of four extra henchmen run over and line up alongside the railing of the second story overlooking the dance floor. All of the men whip out uzzis and aim down at Logan in Stone's wrangling arms. Logan blinks over to his left and sees Noir dizzily recovering from his last toss. The secret agent twists his free hand around and produces a sparking taser from his trusty watch.

"I'm willing to take a gamble…," Logan grunts. He shoves his taser into Stone's thigh.

ZAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!!

"AAAA-AAAA-AAAAUGH!!!!" Stone twitches and vibrates with sparks. He stumbles—smoking—and lets go of Logan's body.

The henchmen take aim.

Logan stretches his legs and backflips mightily. He lands behind Stone's twitching bodies.

The henchmen fire.

RAT-A-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!!!!

Stone—still recovering—flinches and barely dives out of the way of the bulletfire.

In the meantime, Logan slides behind a tabletop for cover and calls over to Noir. "Stairway to Heaven, old chum!!"

Noir snaps out of it and looks up. He holds his breath, runs, jumps off a tables, bounces against a pillar support, and flips up nimbly onto the railing of the second floor besides the henchmen.


The men pause in their firing to regard the martial arts sidekick.

Logan spins his pistol out, takes aim, and fires---BLAM!!!!

PING!!!

A gun flies out of the first henchman's hand.

Noir charges him, karate chops his neck, and kicks him twice in the chest before tossing him to the side.

The next henchman in line takes aim.

Logan fires a second bullet upwards. BLAM!!!

PING!!

The gasping henchman is defenseless as Noir jumpkicks through him and rushes the third on the balcony.

BLAM!! PING!!

The man shouts in terror as Noir grabs him and flings him off the balcony and to a nasty fall below.

There's one gunman left. But before Logan's bullet or Noir's charge could reach him, he tosses his gun over the side, holds his hands up, and dives suicidally over the balcony edge for them.

"AAAAAAAH!!" THWUMP!!!

"………"

"………"

"Heh…," Logan chuckles and spins his pistol. "And it's usually the women who fall head over heels for me."

Noir rolls his eyes.

Logan smirks. He turns around.

Stone is missing….

Logan raises an eyebrow. "The devil???"

"AIIIIIEE!! HELP!!!"

Logan gasps and looks over at the bar counter.

Stone has Corina Anderson in a harsh grip and holds a gun to her head from behind.

"You win this battle, Logan. But soon there will be a war…a war that you will not win."

Logan grits his teeth and points. "You let her go!"

"The soonest I let her go, she'll be dead with a bullethole in her head," Stone smiles evilly. "Consider this nightclub yours. But Skull Corp has many battlefronts. Far more than you can conquer. And Madame Moonflame's confidence in us is far too important to give up. And I know very well that this girl here is your only way to possibly finding her!"

Noir looks nervously between Logan and Stone.

Logan clenches his fists….but sighs and holsters his gun. "Fine…don't hurt her. But the next time I find you when you're alone, coward…Hell will be waiting."

"As I'm quite sure," Stone winks. He whips out an explosive and tosses it at a nearby wall where it sticks, beeps a few times, and--

BOOM!!!!!

A hole to the street is blown. Stone drags a frightened Miss Anderson along and into a car swerving into a parked position outside. He tosses her in, jumps in himself, and the car screeches off.


Noir hops down and joins Logan in jogging out into the open street. They watch as the car throttles off.

Noir pants.

But Logan is cool. He cracks his knuckles and straightens his hair.

Noir looks at him, unbelieving.

"What??" Logan smiles. "Take it easy." He whips out a data pad and clicks a button on it. "I fixed a tracking bug on Miss Anderson's lovely dress when the two of us stumbled behind the bar counter. We should be able to follow Hanzel and Gretyl as long as we're and—hopefully—they're alive."

Noir wheezed forth a nervous smile.

"How many times do I have to tell you to relax when I'm on the job?" Logan smirks. He gestures. "Come on. Let's get some smashing transportation…."

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"Cut!!"

The world around us froze.

I blinked and glanced around.

SWOOOOOSH!!!

I jumped—startled—as the colored sphere came up and flickered forth a hologram of a relatively happy Mad Mod.

"Ace!! Brilliant!! The Critic must be off his trolley if this film doesn't excite him in the least!!"

"You know…," Beast Boy raised his hand. "I've been curious. What's this film gonna be rated?! Cuz Robin says I can't watch rated R movies until I'm---"

ZAP!!!

"DAH!!! Okay…dude…I need an agent, PDQ."

I bit my lip.

Mad Mod's hologram narrowed his spectacled eyes. "You'll get sweet fanny adams if you're lucky, wazzock! Now you lot hang a tick and we'll chivvy along with the next scene. I have to edit what we have of the print so far for the Critic! And I'm no grotty busker! He chose me as the Director for a reason! And you're the star of the show, don't forget that, ducky!"

Beast Boy folded his arms and mumbled. "Aren't I lucky."

"Now don't be a big girl's blouse! Smile and be dashing! That's Gar Logan for ya! Cheerio!!"

The hologram and the sphere disappeared.

A familiar tingling sensation coursed through our bodies.

"Ah yes…," Beast Boy smirked at me. "Back to nowhere land."

I groaned.

FLASH!!!

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"—and at the moment I can't remember any time in recent history when an electromagnetic pulse of that great a frequency appeared around the Tower."

"Could it have been distributed at long range from a distant source?"

"I don't think so, Robin. I'm inclined to believe that the pulse WAS its own source."

"A self-supplying pulse of electromagnetic energy…but what could it be?"

"I can't help but think that it has something to do with our imprisonment here by Mad Mod……whatever and wherever 'here' is."

"Hey dudes. We're back."

"Beast Boy!! Report!"

"Um……more filmmaking, Robin! And…erm…say…are Cyborg and Starfire here?"

"Yeah, man. We're here."

"We are presently accounted for."

"Are you guys allright?! None of you got hurt or anything?!"

"No sweat, B.B."

"Though I am willing to admit that I was surely as frightened in reality as the character I was attempting to portray."

"You did a good job, Star. All of us did. Nobody choked."

"What do you mean? Titans, what's going on out there?!"

"Nightclub scene. Gar Logan—the Bond ripoff—sneaks in with Noir to find Corina Anderson—"

"Played by meeeee!! Hehehehe!"

"………"

"Anyways, there's some conversation…then Stone—Cyborg's character—stomps in with a bunch of henchmen. A gunfight takes place. Cyborg—er, I mean Stone kidnaps Corina at gunpoint and runs off. And now Logan and Noir are gonna chase him down cuz they have a tracking device on Corina's dress. I think we're gonna see some cool Bond toys next!"

"Man…that's awesome! A tracking device on her dress?!"

"Yeah, dude! Gar Logan doesn't miss a thing!"

"Think it can record audio conversations??"

"Oooh…that'd be a cool plot device to figure out the mysteries behind Skull Corp, right??"

"Hold on just a minute, guys…"

"Ahem. Yes, Robin?"

"Starfire was in there during the nightclub gunfight sequence??"

"Er……yeah. But it's allright, dude! She was behind the counter the whole time………er……that is, until Cyborg's character forced her head at gunpoint. B-But Mad Mod's told me on several occasions that the bullets aren't real and that the henchmen that were shot weren't real either and with all the time freezings and teleportations and scene shifts—I'm inclined to believe him. So Starfire wasn't in that great of a risk—"

"No no no no…I mean…she's a BOND GIRL?!?!"

"Hah hah hah…that she is, dawg."

"Don't get the wrong idea, Robin. Sure, she's a Bond Girl. So…that should mean she avoids most of the gunfight sequences to the end, right—"

"Starfire is a Bond Girl……do you know what that means??"

"Why is everyone insisting that I am a female indicative of special adhesion??"

"No, Star. Bond…James Bond."

"I must mention something while we are on the topic. Something horrible—terribly, terribly horrible has happened to my hair!"

"What?"

"It is short!! And my Tamaranian eyebrows and skin tone are gone and---"

"You're not alone, Star. All my Titanium parts are gone, remember? I'm completely human. Not that I can complain but----it's the wyrdest thing in the world."

"And have you seen Noir lately?!?! Hehehehe…Bruce Lee has entered the building!!!"

"Noir's Asian??"

"Well, right now he is, Raven and---hey! How come you've been silent up till now?!"

"I'm listening…"

"Uh huh……"

"………"

"Will we ever get our true bodies back?!"

"I dunno, Star. I can't help but feel like this is some really nasty game that Mad Mod has us playing."

"But to what ends?? The last time he had abducted us, the theme of his torment was aligned with that of a Terran scholastic institution. This present situation seems like a major change in his villainous style."

"That's just it. He's not working for himself. At least I don't think so."

"What are you getting at, Beast Boy?"

"He keeps yapping on about this 'Critic' person. At least now I know that the Critic's a guy. Mad Mod called him a 'he'."

"And………???"

"And Mad Mod's the 'Director' of this crazy movie world."

"I think we got that idea down, man."

"But think about it!! If Mad Mod is the Director…it doesn't necessarily mean he's the Producer."

"Meaning……he's not really the one behind this?!"

"Exactly!"

"Fascinating. Then perhaps there is another nefarious foe in the works! Someone who would have gladly wanted us in this situation…playing out ridiculous roles…………and getting our hair cut!!!"

"Starfire………is a Bond Girl……?!"

"Yoohoo. Earth to Robin."

"Uhhhh---huh?"

"You listening, man?"

"Ahem…enough to know that Mad Mod needs to be taken down."

"You weren't listening! Mad Mod may not be behind this, we think! Sure, he's playing a big part, but—"

"As smart as Mad Mod is, he couldn't generate the technology to do whatever he's doing now. And if that electromagnetic pulse we keep brainstorming about has anything to do with this, I don't see how Mad Mod could have come up with that too."

"Good point, Rae."

"I think we should be foremost concerned with this 'movie' thing that Mad Mod is putting us through."

"Why's that, Robin?"

"True…there may be a lot about this world I keep hearing that is fake. But the one real thing is the plotline. Not only is it being filmed in chronological order, but the roles we're playing are integral to its structure. Now, if this 'spy epic' is like your typical Bond epic…then it can't be a good thing for all of us."

"How so?"

"Well, you've seen a Bond film, right? Bond survives everything. But all the villains die. And in the end, he and the Bond Girl…they………they……………"

"They what, Robin?"

"Rghhh……I can't wait to play my part. I want to see this 'movie world' first hand. Then maybe I can figure a way to censor the film before it ever hits the shelves!"

"Agreed. Mad Mod may be here to play games, but we're not."

"Dudes…I thought the idea was to play along until we figure out a plan."

"And it is. But we can't do that forever, Beast Boy. While you and Noir may be having the time of your lives…the clock it ticking down on Cyborg and perhaps even the rest of us. Who knows how serious Mad Mod may be when it comes to a death scene! Or a love sc—er…"

"???"

"Well, Robin…look at it on the bright side!"

"What bright side?"

"The film can't be that far into it!"

"Why not?"

"We've only had two action scenes and there're still two Titans left to make their first appearances!"

"Um……I think you'll have to play your cards differently, Beast Boy."

"Why's that, Robin?"

"I'm starting to feel that 'tingly' sensation the rest of you keep describing."

"Uh……darn it, me too dude."

"Me three."

"Myself included."

"………"

"Unless I'm mistaken, that means Raven's not joining us."

"You all have your fun."

"Hey! Who knows! Maybe Noir will be staying here with you!"

"Oh joy. Won't we strike up quite the conversation……"

"I hope her character isn't nearly as sarcastic."

"Fat chance."

"………………Fat?!"

FLASH!!!!

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

I blinked. I looked around.

It was nighttime on the foggy edge of London.

Beast Boy and I stood beside a warehouse on the docks of a boatyard along the Thames.

He looked at me and grinned. "So you came after all. Lucky you." He winked.

I raised an eyebrow.

He giggled.

SWOOOOOSH!!!

A sphere flew in and the hologram of Mad Mod appeared, spinning his cane and then leaning on it. "Next scene, my duckies!!"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Inside a dark warehouse, the echoes of the low sounds of lapping waters bounce against the old, crackling walls of wood. A tiny slight of light appears as a creaking sound fills the chamber.

Gar Logan walks in with Noir in tow.

Logan adjusts his suit and smirks at Noir. "The tracking device says that they've taken Miss Anderson through the North Sea and along the western banks of Norway. But at this moment, they've stopped approximately twenty-five miles off of the land. Which means they're either stuck out in the water….or something else. And considering this time of year, I think I know just how to be prepared."

He whips out a remote and clicks a button on it.

Something large and black rises out of the waters in the center of the warehouse docking bay. A miniature submarine…a sharp contrast to the technologically lacking building.

"Shall we go for a swim?"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

The next day…twenty five miles off the coast of Norway…

A huge ice sheet stretches across the landscape. Every now and then, a patch of water breaks apart the ice of the frozen wasteland. But the region is mostly a realm of white thickness floating above the northern Atlantic. And on a patch of the rigid ice there lies an encampment of tents and portable buildings. Shady characters guard the establishment. And one of them—standing outside a tent and squinting his eyes across the brilliant reflection of white light—is Vic Stone.

"Sir…," a henchman walks up and salutes. "Word is from Razor that the icebreaker is less than an hour away."

"They're certainly taking their damn time," Stone grumbles. "I'm not a babysitter. Doesn't Razor know that?"

"Should we give any message to Madame Moonflame?"

"No point," Stone sighs. "We're getting nowhere…and we ditched Logan back in London. Go back on patrol…I'm going to have a word with Miss Anderson."

"Very well, sir," the henchman walks away.

Stone turns around and ducks into the tent. He peers across the shadowy interior and sees Corina Anderson huddled in a makeshift chair, bundled in blankets. Trembling.

Stone sits on a cot across from her, pulls out a gun, and starts polishing it.

"Tell me…Miss Anderson…have you always been loyal to Skull Corp and Madame Moonflame?"

The redheaded girl looks at Stone. She blinks her green eyes. She says:

"Cyborg…were you always that muscular?"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"CUT!!!"

Cyborg was cracking up laughing as a sphere flew up and shook in Starfire's face.

"What is wrong with you, lassie?! Can't you handle a blooming line?!"

"Please forgive me," the Tamaranian (human-looking) blushed. "But I cannot help but wonder why you have chosen such outrageous exoskeletons for us to occupy."

"Huh?? What in bloody Hell do you mean??"

"She's got a point, man. I know we need to meet the quota of these characters and all…but…," Cyborg scratched his fully human head. "If the Critic knows we're Titans—and I'm assuming he does—what's the point?"

"And why is it that Beast Boy has remained green and elvin while the rest of us have seemingly changed?" Starfire added.

"Never you mind, buggers!" the sphere turned and zapped Cyborg.

"OW!!!"

"Well, I had to blast someone before I went off, didn't I?"

"I don't see why the colonies didn't revolt against you from the get-go, dawg."

"Righto. That's the spirit! Bitter villainy! Keep that in mind, 'Victor Stone'. And YOU, 'Miss Anderson'…you'd best be thankful that I made you the leading lady!"

Starfire blinked. "But who am I leading?"

The voice from the sphere groaned. "Just read your lines…"

"Minus contortions—"

"SURE!! WITHOUT CONTRACTIONS!! JUST BLOOMIN' READ THEM!!" A groan. "Action!!"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"Madame Moonflame is of little concern to me. All I ever wanted was a life of luxury…not a life of crime."

Vic looks over his gun as he polishes it and smirks: "Be thankful to Skull Corp that—in this day and age—you can have both."

"But what if it turns out that I want neither?"

"Eh??"

The woman runs a hand through her short, scarlet bangs. "I want to be free, Mr. Stone. Not a prisoner to past sins."

"Trust me, Miss Anderson," Stone holsters his gun and points. "At this point, the only redemption fiends like us can ask for is death."

Suddenly, there is a huge quaking. The ice slab beneath the tent and the whole camp shakes.

Stone gasps.

Corina smiles ever so slightly. "What would you know of redemption, Mr. Stone?"

The man gets up, teeth gritting, and rushes out of the tent.

He joins a collective group of panicked thugs outside the encampment. Together they look desperately out across the blindingly white landscape.

Slowly…the shaking and crumbling stops.

Silence…

Two thugs walk out onto the ice with machine guns in trembling grasps. A beat. They look Stone's way. "Could it be the Ice Breaker, sir??"

CRASH!!!!!!

The ice shatters upwards from beneath them. The two thugs tumble over—screaming and dropping guns that fire madly on their own.

Stone and the other remaining henchmen gasp as a black, freight-train-engine sized submarine rises up from beneath the ice with its top half breaking through.

Stone grits his teeth and grumbles: "Logan…"

CLUNK-WHURRRRRR-CHTING!!! A door to an interior compartment opens in the top of the submarine.

The henchmen all cock their guns and aim.

Stone shouts: "Come on out of there, you gutless limey!!"

VROOOOOOOOM!!!!!

A black snowmobile ramps out of the submersible and onto the ice. Logan is steering at the front with Noir seated behind him. Logan smirks and throttles the snowmobile into higher gear. It slides across the ice while Noir cocks a machine gun and takes aim.

"Don't just stand there, you morons!!" Stone shouts. "FIRE—"

Noir beats them to the punch.

RAT-A-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!!!!!!

As the snowmobile skids by, a string of bulletfire ricochets off the ice making tiny potholes. When the string reaches a handful of henchmen, red spray covers the ice and the men fall down with cries. Stone and the rest duck, only to be covered with white powder as the snowmobile scrapes by.

While driving, Logan tilts his head back to Noir and remarks: "Skiing season is early this year!"

VROOOOOOOOM!!!!

The snowmobile plows through a pile of crates—SMASH!!!—sending splinters flying everywhere and forcing thugs to dive out of the way. As the two heroes zoom through the base, guards recover and angrily fire volleys of machine gun fire at the circling snowmobile, but somehow keep missing the agile driver's crafty maneuvering.

"Quick!!" Stone shouts. "Grab the hummer!! I'm getting the Anderson woman out of here!!"

"To where, sir?!" one guard asks.

"I'm going to meet the ice breaker before Logan gets to her!!" Stone motions for two thugs to follow him as he runs to the tent."

In the meantime, the black snowmobile doubles back and comes in for another attack run. Thugs line up behind protective barriers and fire. BLAM!!! BLAM!!! BANG!! POW!!!

Logan grits his teeth and ducks his head as bullets whiz above.

Noir holds his breath, takes aim, and fires expertly as they streak by.

VROOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!

RAT-A-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!!!!

Bullets exchange in the air.

A few ricochet off the body of the snowmobile.

A few guards fall, groaning.

Logan grins and jerks hard on the controls.

SCREEEEEEEEE!!!!

Ice flies up in a powder as the snowmobile spins into a turn and throttles on straight towards a group of thugs besides a tent.

The thugs cry out and dive to avoid the merciless vehicle.

THWAP!!!!!

The tent is shredded apart as the snowmobile blows through.

Noir reaches a hand out and grabs a handful of canvass from the shredded tent.

Logan drives them both towards a throng of aiming gunmen.

Noir grits his teeth and tosses the canvass as they plow on through.

THWUMP!!!!

The guards are covered with the blinding sheet and thrash about helplessly from underneath.

Logan chuckles as they come in for another turn.

In the meantime, a hummer skids awkwardly to a stop on the ice by a tent as Stone drags Corina Anderson out. He takes one look at the snowmobile and angrily orders his right hand men to hoist the woman into the vehicle as he hops into the rear. He taps the rear of the driver's seat and the hummer's wheels squeal as the vehicle accelerates across the ice.

Noir points.

"I know!!" Logan says while steering. "I see them! Hang on!!"

He soars the snowmobile through the base in pursuit.

In the meantime, a group of thugs shout random orders to each other while rushing over to a metal shack. They pop the lids open and inside of them are three gray snowmobiles of their own.

Back at the chase, the hummer gains whatever traction it can and speeds over the expanse of white, icy wasteland.

Anders flinches inside as each slight indentation in the ice slab causes the vehicle to bump and lurch.

Stone and another thug in the meantime crawl into the rear compartment of the hummer and look through the rear window. They see the snowmobile of Logan and Noir approaching fast. Stone shouts an order to his thug. He pulls out a suitcase while the thug cocks a machine gun and kicks at the rear window.

CRASH!!!!

The glass shatters and a whole gap is formed in the rear door of the hummer. The thug takes aim through it with his machine gun and fires.

RAT-A-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!!!!

Logan grunts. He steers to the right and pulls the snowmobile out of the line of fire. Ice shatters in a string of tiny explosions behind them.

The thug fires more from the rear of the hummer.

Logan steers expertly, while Noir returns fire.

RAT-A-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!!!

Bullets ricochet off the rear bumper of the hummer. Sparks fly. Startled, the driver loses a bit of his touch and the hummer slides for twenty feet before regaining traction and zooming right along as usual.

"Try and take out the tires!!" Logan shouts. "Remember, Miss Anderson is in there and we don't want to hurt her!!"

Noir nods. He takes aim with his machine gun and fires one bullet at a time with greater accuracy. BLAM!! BLAM!!

Bullets fly off the ice just an inch or two short of striking the tire.

Noir grits his teeth and reloads his clip.

The thug ducks just as Stone pulls out the weapon he has assembled from the suitcase……a grenade launcher.

PHUMPHT!!!!!

A canister flies out and bounces across the ice twice towards the snowmobile.

Clink! Clink!

"Mother fiddlesticks!" Logan swerves madly to the side.

BOOOM!!!!!!

Ice shrapnel shoots high into the air.

Noir covers his head.

Logan grips hard to the steering and angles himself back along with the rear of the vehicle.

Stone reloads and fires another.

PHUMPHT!!!!!

Logan raises one hand. "Gimme a gun!!"

Noir tosses him a pistol.

Logan spins it, aims, and fires upwards—BLAM!!!

The bullet flies up and succinctly hits the grenade in mid-air.

CLANK!!!!

The grenade twirls, smokes, and trails off to the side.

BOOOM!!!!!

It strikes the ice to the left of the two heroes. Logan and Noir duck as they cruise under a spray of snow and ice shards. Once through, Logan revs the engine and they catch up to the hummer.

Stone pauses in aiming to smirk.

Logan raises an eyebrow.

The sounds of three new engines alight his ears.

He glances behind him.

So does Noir.

Three gray snowmobiles are in pursuit. Two thugs are on each. Three machine guns are cocked and aimed at the two heroes.

Logan grits his teeth and faces forward again.

"When it's a snow day, EVERYBODY'S out of school. Hang tight!!"

He swerves hard to the right.

RAT-A-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!!!!

Bulletfire from three separate riders trail after the careening, black snowmobile.

Logan swerves left and right, eyeing the tiny rear view mirrors on either side of the vehicle's front.

Bullets ricochet off the hull of the snowmobile.

Noir hangs on tightly. He reaches into a compartment and pulls out a shotgun.

More bullets.

More ice flying.

Stone watches from the hummer, grinning.

Corina wrings her pensive hands.

Noir swings the shotgun in one hand, cocks it, and aims back at the pursuing snowmobiles.

BLAM!!!!!!

Shot sprays back at the thugs.

They swerve out of the way.

Noir jerks the gun with one hand—cocking it—and swings it back into position to aim again.

BLAM!!!!!

A huge chunk of ice explodes before one snowmobile, causing it to swerve out of the way and fall by the wayside. The other two gain momentum and its riders fire madly at the heroes.

RAT-A-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!!!

Logan swerves while Noir reloads.

In the hummer, the two in the front seat are looking back. They glance back forward through the windshield and gasp. "WHOAH!!!"

The drive swerves just in time for the hummer to barely avoid a chunk of ice dotting the flat landscape. Stone grunts and hangs on to the Jesus bar as the hummer regains traction and speeds along.

Logan sees the chunk of ice and heads for it.

Noir balances himself and grabs the shotgun with two hands this time while aiming.

One of the gray snowmobiles bravely steers close to them. The rear thug on it aims at Noir with his machine gun.

Logan readies himself and decreases the acceleration just as they reach the ice chunk.


The gray snowmobile speeds over the ice chunk at the same time and---

THWUMP!!!

VROOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!

In slow motion, the two snowmobiles are ramping up in the air. But the enemy's vehicle was going at a greater speed. As a result, the gray snowmobile zooms straight overhead of Logan's and Noir's mid-air vehicle. Tiny pelts of ice from the rear tires of the gray snowmobile fall down and litter Noir's face as he carefully squints his asian eyes and gets to shots off into the undercarriage and engine of the high-flying, enemy vehicle.

BLAM!!! BLAM!!!!

Sparks fly. Fuel leaks.

Logan's vehicle lands from its shorter vault.

THRUMP!!!!!

Time resumes.

The thugs' snowmobile twirls at an awkward angle, bursts into flames, and lands fifteen feet ahead of them.

KABOOOOM!!!!

The vehicle explodes dramatically.

Logan swerves to the left at the last second.

SWOOOOOSH!!!

The two heroes barrel through the edge of the flame and smoke from the deadly explosion and emerge unphased.

The second closest gray snowmobile throttles over and rams into the left side of the heroes' vehicle.

CLANK!!!!

Logan and Noir grunt.

The thugs lean their weight over and ram into their side again.

CL-CLANK!!!

Logan and Noir veer to the right. The left side of their vehicle upends for five seconds before falling back down onto the ice as the vehicle speeds on.

Stone takes the opportunity to load another grenade into his launcher.

Noir aims his shotgun at the rear thug.

The rear thug aims his machine gun at Noir.

Click!


Click!


Both Noir and the thug widen their eyes.

Out of ammo.

Noir twirls his shotgun, holds it by the barrel, and uses it like a baseball bat against the thug's head.

THWACK!!!

"UGH!!" the thug falls back and tumbles hard across the ice.

The driver growls and rams into the side of the heroes' vehicle again.

CLANK!!!

The ski plants of the two snowmobiles get entangled with each other. The vehicles lose their momentum and start grinding the ice as they 'drive' into each other.

Logan grits his teeth and yanks at the steering to get them free.

The enemy driver similarly struggles.

Stone aims his rocket launcher. "Small price to pay…" He points it at both Logan's vehicle and the thug's vehicle.

The thug sees his boss aiming and gasps.

While the enemy is distracted, Logan raises his foot and shoves it down at the ski plants with a growl.

THWACK!!!

He frees both vehicles from each other.

Taken by surprise by the jolt, the thug loses momentum and drags behind the black snowmobile.

Stone fires.

PHUMPT!!!!!!

The grenade flies.

Logan ducks.

Noir holds his breath and jabs the butt of the shotgun high into the air.

CLANK!!!

The grenade bounces off the gun and tumbles back through the air, landing into the thug's lap on the vehicle behind.

"AAAAAAAAAAAA—" BOOOM!!!!!

Stone angrily slaps the hull of the hummer with a grunt.

Logan smirks….then gasps.

The hummer skids to a stop.

Stone rocks around in the back of the vehicle. "What the Hell?!" he frowns at the driver.

"It's the ice breaker! We're here!"

Stone looks up and smiles.

On the black snowmobile, Logan and Noir gasp.

A huge freight ship is barreling through the icy wasteland, smashing through the ice sheet with its razor-edged bow. A river of frigid water is formed in an impromptu canal behind it. A huge horn goes off, and throngs of evil henchmen lining the railings of the deck march to a stop and aim guns down at the heroes beyond the hummer.

Logan gasps: "Fall back!!"

Noir nudges his shoulder.

"Ah…right, I'm driving. Nicely put, old chap."

RAT-A-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!!!!

A veritable wall of machine gun fire flies down at the snowmobile.

Logan swerves them out of the way and drives back across the ice beyond their fire.

In the meantime, Stone grabs Miss Anderson and drags her out of the hummer. He and his henchmen rush towards the edge of the ice breaker as the ship slows its crashing through the ice and lowers a platform via metal cables down its hull for the group of escapees to step on board.

Logan swerves the snowmobile around and to a stop. He grits his teeth and looks at the distant ice breaker. He looks the way in which the chase came.

The third snowmobile that had fallen behind was catching up.

"I have an idea, friend," Logan smirks. "How about we get to know these henchmen a little closer?"

He revs the engine.

Noir gulps.

"No worries…just don't choke."

VROOOOOOOM!!!!!

He throttles straight towards the oncoming vehicle.

The two enemy riders crane their necks out of curiosity.

Logan and Noir zoom straight towards them.

The driver of the enemy vehicle nudges the rear seater, and the rider whips out his machine gun.

Logan takes a deep breath…then… "Take over for me."

Noir's almond eyes bulge.

VROOOOOOOM!!!!

The vehicles approach each other across the wintry expanse.

Logan slowly climbs over the front of the vehicle while Noir nervously grabs the steering in his place.

Balanced precariously on the front of the snowmobile, Logan pulls out a pistol and cocks it. "When I give you the signal, drive straight towards me and hit the nitro! You'll understand when the time comes!"

Noir gulps.

The vehicles rush each other head on.

The pairs of occupants can see each other's hair color.

The rear thug fires.

RAT-A-TAT-TAT-TAT!!!

Miraculously, the bullets stream past the two heroes.

Logan holds up his left arm and aims the pistol with his right hand over it.

BLAM!!!!

A bullet sails out and hits the steering of the enemy vehicle.

The driver gasps and loses control.

The gray snowmobile swirls to the left at the last second.

Logan grunts and jumps…

(A heartbeat.)

…onto the other side of the enemy vehicle.

He grabs the steering swings, and slams his legs into the rear gunner.

THWACK!!!

The thug falls off.

At the end of his swing, Logan seats himself and headlocks the driver from behind.

Noir sails past them and looks behind…curious.

The driver gasps for air.

"Sorry…no time for cab fair!" Logan shouts and slams the driver's head repeatedly into the dashboard of the vehicle.

WHACK!! WHACK!! WHACK!!

He then tosses the driver out onto the ice with a grunt. He grabs the man's belt and yanks off a grenade at the last second.

He then plants the grenade hard above the engine and speeds on towards the ice breaker.

In the meantime, the platform on cables rises up to the deck.

A curious Stone and a concerned Corina Anderson watch from where they ascend onto the ship itself.

Logan sails towards the freight ship at full speed. He grits his teeth as the thugs on the side of the ice breaker's deck fire madly down at him. Somehow, he drives the gray snowmobile so fast that it makes the thugs overshoot his throttling figure. At the right moment, he yanks the pin from the grenade and backflips off.

Noir watches from where he cruises towards the scene.

Logan lands on the ice with a slide. He falls to his knees and steadies himself—panting—as the loaded snowmobile cruises towards the freight ship.

The thugs take aim at his figure.

Logan runs a hand through his hair and winks.

Fiendish fingers to triggers….

The grenade ticks.

3…2…1….

BOOM!!!!!

The enemy snowmobile explodes.


A huge crater forms in the ice, with frigid spray flying upwards and reaching as far as the deck itself.

The gunmen beside the railing recoil from the icy wave and lose their aim.

Logan spins around and waves his arms at Noir.

Noir smiles and nods his head. He grips the steering hard and snakes a hand over to an obscenely red button on the dashboard.

-click-

FWOOOOOOOOOOOMB!!!!!

The nitro ignites.

The snowmobile practically flies over the ice.

Logan jumps and grabs onto Noir's shoulders as he streaks by, miraculously holding on.

Noir drives the black snowmobile to the fresh crater where the blasted ice on the outer rim has formed an angle shard pointing straight up at the freight ship's edge.

And they hit it.

CLANK!!!!

VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!

Trails of ice and flaming nitro follow the two heroes as they ramp up with spinning rear treads, fly over the railing, and come crashing down onto the top deck of the ship itself.

SCRAAAAAAAPE!!!

Sparks fly and thugs leap out of the way as the snowmobile spins to a stop against a bunch of netted crates.

Stone and a few other guards recover from flinching and reach for their weapons.

"Not so fast…," Logan whips out his pistol and Noir holds out two uzzis. They march up off their smoking snowmobile and approach the fiends. "The lovely Miss Anderson comes with us…and the rest of your lives will be spared………..for now."

Corina smiles.

"Aren't you forgetting something, Mr. Logan?" Stone smirks.

Logan chuckles. "Like what?"

A suave voice from above: "When Madame Moonflame chooses her allies, she supports them the whole way through."

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Beast Boy and I looked up while holding our props.

A layer of thugs were on an upper tier of the ship. Aiming machine guns down. Outnumbering us.

And in the center knelt an athletic figure with a dark head of hair, a devil-may-care grin and two black lenses over his eyes. Like cybernetic implants. Masking….

"Dude…no way…," Beast Boy chuckled with a whisper. "Robin?!?!"

"I'm the one they call Razor. I'm sure you might remember me, Noir. We were fighting companions for Red Dragon in Hong Kong. You betrayed us the first day you ever joined Mr. Gar Logan. Now it's time I have my revenge…and I have Vic Stone and Madame Moonflame to thank for the opportunity."

I raised an eyebrow.

"Dude….no fair….," Beast Boy pouted. "I wanted to see his eyes…."

"Mr. Logan?"

Beast Boy cleared his voice and spoke audibly in his persona: "Just what does Skull Corp want with Miss Anderson?"

"Quite simple. Her father built the Ragnorak Machine. And she is the living, biological key for it."

"Ragnorak Machine?"

"Nothing for you to think much about," Robin—Razor—waved. A thug walked over with a revolver and pointed—smirking—at Beast Boy. "Unless of course your ghosts decide to hang around and watch the final product."

Beast Boy looked around.

No spheres showed up.

"Cue!!" he hissed in a low breath.

Nothing.

He sweated and looked at the revolver aimed down. "Cue! Cue! Cue!!!"

A sphere appeared to my left.

I looked at it. My eyes twitched.

The holo-prompter read: 'Dive in front of Beast Boy.'

I bit my lip. I looked up at the revolver. I looked at Beast Boy.

The show must go on…

SWOOOSH!!!

I dove.

BLAM!!!!!

Starfire gasped.

Cyborg's jaw dropped.

Robin bit his lip.

"Noir!!!!" Beast Boy shouted.

THWUMP!!!

I fell to the floor beneath him…gripping my chest where blood was leaking. The bullet had hit me….and it felt absolutely, positively real….

-T-T-T-T-T-T-