I don't own CSI

Rated T

I have officially lost my mind.

No really, off the wall lost it...as in, if my friends or family knew they would commit me.

Why?

Sigh. Well. Jules Brown Stokes has her own facebook complete with pictures.

Yes, you read that right. I am so ashamed!

But, I was sick in bed all day and had nothing better to do than to create images for my readers.

SO WARPED, I know.

Go ahead, check her out...you'll see pix of their house, wedding pix, baby pix of Emma, Nick of course, etc.

SO SICK! But damn fun.

Search for : Jules Brown Stokes (location will be Las Vegas)

Another thing before you begin reading...

I have some people wanting more Trista and Warrick...some who want me to focus only on Nick and Jules.

I need you to tell me what you want so I know which direction to go in.

THIS chapter is Trista & Warrick only - with a few of the Stokes mentioned.

Review and let me know pleeeeeeze!

Let me know how you like Jules' FaceBook page ;o)

Trista felt safer knowing he was lying next to her. She liked it far more than she was willing to admit. She fell asleep listening to him breathe softly beside her. She was at peace until she felt the breeze of the warm Las Vegas air hit her face. She thought she could hear the music blaring from inside the club.

Trista couldn't quite stand and she felt herself sway back and forth. His hands were touching her and she tried to move away. She backed up into the cold brick wall of the alley. She watched his big, gold, watch glittered as he tore her dress. She tried to tell him that it wasn't a good idea…she told him he just ripped her best friend's dress but he laughed at her. She tried to tell him that Jules loved that dress and he ruined it. He ripped it and it would never be the same again.

"Even if she sews it, it's still be damaged. You can't mend what is broken…once you tear it…once it's damaged…it's never the same…don't you get that?" she screamed at the image before her. "She loved this dress but she will never look at it the same way again! YOU RUINED IT!"

"Would it help if I told you I'm sorry?" he leaned in and kissed her and it felt peaceful and right. She kissed him back and let her hands roam his body. She felt his strong hands trail across her shoulders and neck. She felt secure in his arms as he kissed her and held her tightly. She almost felt like she could love him.

"This is crazy, I just met you…but I think…. I love you," she whispered through her kiss.

"Of course you love me! Every Honey loves me," he laughed and the streetlight lit his face.

"Warrick?" she gasped, "Why are you here? It's you?"

"It's me…it's me…you are in love with me and I find it fun…don't you?"

"Fun? Like a game?"

"Yep, fun…and then when the game is over…well then…move along, no hard feelings, right?" he laughed louder.

"But…" she paused not knowing what to say.

She looked down and saw where he ripped her dress. "You ruined Jules' dress, Warrick! You ripped it. Why did you rip it?"

"Because I just did…I didn't mean to do it…it just happened…sometimes, it's just what I do and I don't mean nuthin' by it," he said shrugging his shoulders.

"Well, I'm telling her YOU did it!"

Warrick laughed. "Don't you get it, Honey? Even if I did ruin it…it won't be me that she gets rid of…it will be you…you will be the damaged goods…" he whispered closer to her ear.

"No, not me! Jules loves me…Nick and Emma…they love me!"

"Yep, but you'll still be torn up…when I have to leave you…I don't stick around for long ya know…and once they see you've been damaged…you can't mend it…they will never feel the same way about you again…just like that dress…"

Trista was surprised to see Nick walk into the alley with Emma on his hip; Jules followed right beside him.

"Oh good, Jules I wanna show you the dress…Warrick ripped it!" she said pointing to the torn fabric.

"It's okay. My brother probably didn't mean to…he is just crazy like that," she smiled at Warrick. "Come on, Warrick, we're going out to eat, come with us," she said and Emma giggled happily.

"You is comin' to eat out wif us, Uncle Wick?" she grinned.

"What about me?" Trista cocked her head to the side unsure why she wasn't being invited too.

"Oh, um, well, it's just family, you understand, right?" she explained feeling uncomfortable.

Nick stepped forward as if to defend Jules, "Trist, listen, it's not you…it's just that…well, I mean, you and Warrick…it's just uncomfortable now…I mean he couldn't help it and well…it's just better if you don't come…"

Trista bolted upright clutching the blankets in her hands. Her heart pounded from her dream. She felt the sadness of rejection in her chest. She stared out into the darkened room. She swallowed hard and tried to push away her thoughts but she knew what that dream meant. She understood that it was not about a torn dress at all. She knew exactly what it meant, and it was painful to accept.

Trista looked over and saw Warrick asleep beside her. She could only see the image but she knew it was him. She knew he never left her; just as he promised.

"Maybe not now…but you will," she whispered trying to convince herself that she knew that just because he didn't leave this time didn't mean it wouldn't leave in the end.

Trista slipped out from under the covers and tip toed out of her room and went into her kitchen. Flipping on the light, she took a deep breath and she got herself a glass of water. She felt dehydrated and weak. "My God, Trista, were you trying to kill yourself with all that tequila?" she asked herself.

She wished she could call Jules. She wanted to tell her why she left her BBQ. She wanted to tell her she and Warrick had hooked up and that he wanted more. She wanted to tell her that she feels something too but is afraid. She wanted to share it all with her best friend but she couldn't because it was not just any man she would be talking about…it was Warrick.

Trista looked up at the clock on the wall and saw that it was 3:30 in the morning. "I guess Nick would not be too pleased if I called the house and woke him up on his night off," she said out loud with a smirk.

She wasn't expecting a voice to answer her. It made her jump.

"Nick would definitely flip from the sound of a ringing phone on his night off…but let me ask you…why would you want to call my sister at this hour? Maybe it's time you talked to me about what has you ripped apart inside? I'm here. I'm listening," Warrick said as he leaned against the kitchen wall.

"God, Warrick, you scared me… you're like a freaky stalker!" she growled and clutched her chest.

"I was just seeing how you were feeling…if you're okay," he explained.

"Yeah, I'm fine…you can go home."

Warrick stared at her.

Trista drank her water without looking at him.

Finally Warrick spoke, "No."

"No? No you're not going home?"

"Right. I told you I wouldn't leave you and I meant it. I will drive you back to my sister's in the morning."

"Okay, Hero, goodnight then," she pushed passed him.

Warrick spun around and grabbed her wrist keeping her from going any farther.

"Why are you so angry? Why are you so mad at ME?"

Trista stared at him before answering, "I'm sorry…I don't want to be…I just…I don't know, I'm just sorry okay?"

"Trist, I just don't understand it. You want to drink yourself sick because I have feelings for you? It doesn't make sense! Alright, so what…you said 'No' and yeah it sucks because I am…" he paused, "I will just have to get over it…My God, you are making it seem like I'll commit suicide because you don't want me!"

"I know…its not that, Warrick…look my head is fucking pounding so let it drop," she growled and rubbed her temples.

"I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU!" he yelled in frustration. He couldn't figure out what was happening inside her head.

"I just have a lot going on," she whispered looking at her bare feet.

"WHAT? Where do you come up with this shit? What do you have going on? And how does it apply to me?"

"Not everything is about you Warrick!" she yelled still looking away from him before she turned walked out of her kitchen and back to her room.

Warrick followed after her.

She had just walked into her room and made it only to the foot of her bed when Trista felt his hand grab her arm. His touch was like electricity through her body. She looked at his hand on her arm for a very long second and then up at him.

"Why do you need answers for everything, Warrick? Why cant you stop investigating me!"

"WHAT? Trista, are you serious? I mean really? Now I'm investigating you? Okay, fine…when you stop running away and getting yourself drunk and lost with some scumbag who would've fucked you while you're drunk in an alley, then yeah, I wont ask you any of this shit!'

Trista winced and looked down again. She felt her face turn red and heated. She felt incredible shame creep in.

Warrick could feel it. He felt bad that he threw that in her face.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…" he said.

"No, no...its fine. I take responsibility for it. It was stupid…nothing more to it…" she said clearing her throat to hide the pain.

Trista couldn't tell him the truth.

She couldn't.

She wasn't stupid. She knew he would insist they try this insane idea of a relationship.

She couldn't tell him, she knew him better than he knew himself…that he was thinking with his heart, or his dick, but definitely not his head…because if he used his brains he would know that he would eventually leave her flat for some whore…he would say he was sorry…that he couldn't help himself…and that he thought it would work but… and ultimately he would leave. She could even handle that from any other man but Warrick. He was a big part of her life. She would have to distance herself to get over him which meant she would have to distance herself from the only family she had left. Her mother was dead, her father was as good as dead, and she hadn't heard from her sister in at least ten years…and the truth was, she was more of a part of the Stokes' family than she had ever been with her own. And just because of some stupid attraction, some stupid feeling she couldn't escape from, she would risk it all? She didn't want to take that gamble…she couldn't.

Trista shook her head and simply reminded herself that she can cry all she wants to but she is not giving in to Warrick Brown. There simply was too much at stake.

"Why are you shaking your head? What is going through it? Why cant you fucking just talk to me?"

Trista finally stared him in the eyes and knew immediately that it was a huge mistake. The minute she looked into the sea of green, she saw him differently. It was as if his eyes were showing her a side of him she never met. They were vulnerable and soft. They were frightened but loving. In that instant that their eyes locked, she felt like she couldn't breathe.

"WELL?" he said loudly, "Why won't you tell me?"

"I am sorry. I don't have anything profound to share with you. I got drunk. I forgot to eat and drank too much. It's really very simple."

Warrick leaned himself against the dresser, stood there a minute and then rubbed his hands over his face. He was frustrated because he could feel her lies. He leaned his head back, blew out a loud breath of air, and stared up at the ceiling.

And suddenly it became clear.

"My God…you feel it too," he stared at her in shock.

"No, I really don't."

"I can't believe I missed it…you don't want to feel it, you're scared to fucking feel it!" he started to walk toward her but she turned away and crawled into bed.

"I'm sorry, Warrick, I wish that were true, just stop your investigating," she said and snuggled under the covers, "If you're gonna stay then just turn off the light and go to sleep."

Warrick closed his eyes for a second and shook his head in defeat. He flipped off the light switch, walked slowly over to the side of the bed, and crawled in next to her.

"I didn't know you were gonna get all IN my bed," she grumbled.

Warrick remained silent. Her comment actually upset him. Her coldness was starting to get to him.

Trista knew she was taking this to far. She felt bad about that but…the dream…the dress…the gamble that was too steep…it was breaking her down too.

In the dark Trista whispered, "Warrick?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we just be friends…The way it used to be? That's all I really want."

Warrick felt the knife slice deep. He knew then it was karma. It was for years of rejecting women…it was now happening to him and he had no control over it. It sucked.

"Yeah, Trist…I won't bring it up anymore. I get it."

Trista squeezed her eyes shut tightly. She managed to dodge a bullet even if it meant dodging the best thing that could have ever happened to her.

"Sometimes," she thought, "ya gotta know when to fold 'em."