oooookay. This was kind of a wierd chapter. Oh well.
Horseyyay: *giggles* she is rather dense when it comes to Glorfy, right? *rolls eyes* oh please. Boys, tch. *wink* and you are more than welcome! my life is rather hard at the moment too, trying to do school and at the same time recovering from the earthquake...
FandomFangirl100: yeah! Glorfindeth rules! I'm sure Nàmo would appreciate a visit... Not. XD
WoodElfJedi: *snicker* oops. A blood trance is something that happens to an elf that was in battle once, it may or may not happen, but when it does, they basically literally go into a trance of sorts where they're reliving a battle and just randomly attack the nearest person. The only thing that can bring someone out of it is the smell and sight of the blood of whoever they're attacking. The idea belongs to Fiondil.
LadyVanya: *giggles* I didn't expect people to be so disappointed... Girl, you need to write a Maedhros fic or something. XD
Nimrodel626: oh don't worry. I'm not planning to have them marry for a long while yet. There will most definitely be a time skip for that. They're just courting at the moment you know. Glad you smiled!
Pixiecropse: yay! Glad you enjoyed-!
Chapter 26
It was morning. I was trying to get down the stairs. But I never managed to walk all the way down, unfortunately.
Instead, I tripped, half asleep and still trying up my Obi, and tumbled the rest of the way down the stairs, bringing everyone else running from the dining room. I beamed up at them, cinching the sash.
"I did it!" I crowed triumphantly. They stared. And then burst into a mixture of laughter and groans. Of course, Glorfindel insisted on carrying me to the table, and I took a quick nap in his arms while he was at it. Everyone snickered at me.
I yawned and shoved in a forkful of eggs dutifully, thinking a timetable into my hand for my daily duties. And dropped my fork. And goggled at the screen.
"What is it?" Caranthir sounded worried and suspicious, as though he knew.
I stood up abruptly as Elíl and Lir looked up from their own timetables. "Are you kidding me!? Master, you've got to be joking! There no way in kriffing Sith hells that I'm going to be present for his judgement, oh no you don't." I shook the schedule and sat back down, scowling.
*Oh yes you will, Padawan... or else you have the choice of reigning in Ossë next time he gets out of hand.* Nàmo replied darkly. I scowled defiantly.
"Fine! I'll do that! Anything from being at his judgement!" I retorted. There was a sigh.
*You must be there* Nàmo said patiently.
"Why?" I sneered.
*Why not?* he retorted.
"Because I don't want to see it! I know what he did, and I'm not going to see him relive it, M'lord." I veritably snarled. "Absolutely no karking way, nope, end of discussion." I savagely ripped a piece of toast. There was a shocked silence for a moment.
*Because of what you went through* Nàmo said discerningly.
"I don't want to talk about it, thank you. Just- just leave it alone, master, please." I said weakly, looking down at my plate and breathing harshly.
Sigh. "My daughter, my daughter, whatever shall I do for you?" Nàmo asked softly, coming to my side and gathering me up into the folds of his cloak. My hands shook.
"Nothing. Nothing, please, please, leave it alone, I was doing so fine until... Until Maeglin-" I choked, fighting tears. Someone crawled into my lap, and I blearily realized that it was Mairon.
"Don't cry, Míleth." He sounded forlorn. "I love you, don't cry. I don't like it when you cry." He begged, snuggling into me as I hugged him, swallowing heavily.
"You know you must face it to find release and healing, Míleth." Nàmo told me gently.
"Not now, master, please, not now. I can't face it now." I pleaded. I clutched Mairon to myself as he clutched my hair tightly, hugging me.
Nàmo sighed. "Soon, Míleth." He conceded. He paused, and went on. "Now, this was not a good way to start the morning. At least you get to spend some time with Beleg, hmmm?" He asked me in an attempt at levity. I shoved morbid thoughts out of my head.
"Should I be happy with that?" I quipped weakly, and was rewarded with his laughter.
"No. You should spend time with meeeee." Mairon whined petulantly. I gave him a mock-glare.
"Oh? I should? Well then, you shall spend the day at my side." I declared. He beamed. "I don't take prisoners, Mairon." I said dryly with a faint tinge of humor.
"... Does that mean I get to go play in the halls of Mandos?" He asked hopefully.
I face-palmed as the rest roared at Mairon, forgetting about the brief panic of the previous events. Seriously.
...
"Beleg!" I called cheerfully, coming into his room in Lòrien. Elíl was working in the same grove that day, not far away in fact. Lir had gone off to Lady Nienna's mansion.
The silver-haired ellon looked up at me from where he was struggling to read through a book. His eyes lit up as he smiled shyly. "H-hello." He said quietly.
I sat down next to him with a smile as Mairon began to play on the floor with the toy he had brought. "Any progress?" I asked conversationally, nodding to the book as I whisked out a robe and threaded a needle to embroider. It was something lady Vairë had asked me to do.
He sighed. "Not so much." He replied, obviously discouraged.
I scooted next to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. "Don't be that way, yonya. You'll do just fine once you remember again, and that comes with practice." I winked. He stared at me, and then smiled shyly.
"Thank you- Naneth." He stammered. I kissed his brow gently.
"That's my ion nîn. Now, read aloud to me while I finish this dratted piece of embroidery." I said, rolling my eyes. He stifled a smile and turned back to the book obediently, reading slowly and haltingly as I continued my work.
*dratted, is it, yeldë?* Vairë asked me amusedly through ósanwe.
I sent her a snort. *I was never the sit and spin type like you, Ammë.* I said amusedly.
*More into the undertaking business, is it?* she asked slyly. I choked and began to splutter as the Valar roared, unashamedly eavesdropping.
*Don't eavesdrop on a conversation!* I scolded in mock-affront.
*pah, it's too fun not to, my dear. There hasn't been this much fun in ages.* Tulkas said heartily. I sighed.
*well thank you for allowing me to be the one to give you your kicks.* I snarked back with a supercilious sniff, making them snicker.
*besides, I get my insanity from lord Nàmo... He drove me farther into the depths of insanity from sending me those elves.* I said in a serious voice.
*oh so I'm the one to blame, is it?* Nàmo asked, amused.
*of course, Atto!* I replied, as though it were obvious. He sighed long-sufferingly as the rest of the Valar laughed.
*I have teeth marks in my horn* Oromë groused. I snickered wildly.
*I can't wait to see them.* I giggled, and immediately received a whack to the head. *ow?*
*you don't know if it hurts?* Oromë sounded affronted.
*errrr... It wasn't even a real smack, sooooo...*
*sigh. You impossible child* he groaned.
*Ossë was not amused.* Ulmo spoke up with a monotone voice. The Valar snickered.
*did he promise revenge?* I asked, sounding alarmed.
*well... Uinen was rather approving, to his chagrin...* was the sly answer. The conversation petered off into laughter as I came back to as Beleg finished the chapter and I finished the last knot and snip of scissors, smiling.
"Very good, yonya." I remarked, thinking away the things. "Well, now that that is out of the way, I suggest we go to the grove and see Elíl, shall we?" I asked, and he happily obliged. The rest of the day was spent in laughter and healing in the groves of Lòrien. The best way to spend the day, really. Err, yes, Lir, ONE of the best ways. I stand corrected.
...
And evening finally fell, and Elíl and Lir and I stumbled home and into baths. It felt undeniably good to be in hot water. When I got out, I found a towel on the floor as well as a new pair of night clothes.
With a funny look at them, I dried myself off and dressed in them- and shook my head. It was obvious who had made them. Black lace decorated the pure white gown at the hems. It came down to my waist, and then there was a pair of white and red-laced leggings to go with them.
With a shrug, I went into my room- and found lord Nàmo sitting there patiently on my bed, waiting for me. I suddenly began to back away, realizing what he intended to do.
I shook my head, backing away and stark terror growing in me. No, no, I didn't want to do this.
"No, child. Come here." His voice was inexorable, and I had to obey. There was no choice for me. I must follow his directions and obey his commands. I swallowed, and he held out his arms, allowing me to walk into them as he folded me into his cloak.
"Now now, Míleth, there is no need to fear. You know it must happen. Even now Elíl and Lir are going through the same." He said gently. I trembled.
"Master, Atto, please." I begged, tears starting to run down my cheeks. "I don't want to..."
"You must." He said blankly, and then stroked my hair, kissing my temple. And it came back. The memory started all over again as I went completely still and turned absolutely white, feeling sick.
I was back at Earth. When I was only eleven. There was the same bridge, the same rainy night, the same yellow street light. I was waiting by the edge of the bridge for dad to pick me up.
And that's when I had seen the man. He was standing there, by the bridge, on the railing, staring into the water. And he wasn't being too discreet either. It was all too plain what he was debating doing, and I was the only one there.
Oh, I had tried my best. I had shouted, waved, ran as fast as I could. But it was too late. He had gone backwards, and even as I bent over the edge I saw his body rebound off of a couple of stones and then splash into the water.
Dad had found me by the side of the road, retching and crying. And it had haunted me, the pain I had felt then at seeing a man die in front of my eyes.
When I came back to, I realized that I must have gotten sick at some point again, because the taste of bile filled my mouth and tears dripped from my chin and eyes onto the floor. I gasped, feeling lord Nàmo rub the base of my back firmly but gently.
He gathered me back up as I wept, clutching my aching heart. "You were not to blame, child. There was nothing you could have done. I know its difficult. But you were brave." He said softly, stroking my hair.
I finally calmed down, feeling a little better and hiccuping, ceasing to tremble and instead sighing shakily. Nàmo pulled back and looked at me sternly. "You were not very good this morning, yeldë." I hung my head.
"I'm sorry, master." I said meekly. "I'll take my punishment." I hiccuped.
"I know you are sorry, child." He said gently.
I sniffled. "I promise I'll try- not to- scream too much." I whispered, voice shaking.
"A promise I will not hold you to." Nàmo's voice held a slight smile. Then he kissed my temple gently.
And I fell. Into the everlasting, all-consuming, pure, overwhelming love of the father. I screamed, thrashing and unable to stop myself, unaware of anything but the bliss that burned through every cell of my body.
When I finally came to I gasped, panting and trembling from exertion. Nàmo was still holding me gently. I closed my eyes, breathing slowing. "I'm sorry. I tried." I rasped.
"Ah, but I'm glad you did." Nàmo replied lovingly. "Now, child, you should take a bath. You are soaked." He said gently.
And so I allowed him to bathe me as tenderly as any father would his child, not at all ashamed. When I was dressed, he kissed me and then disappeared, leaving me in my room alone to recover. I sat on the bed, feeling generally achy and sore, my throat raw from screaming.
Not wanting to be alone, I stood and made my way on shaking legs down the stairs. I stumbled into the living room where everyone but Elíl and I were to find Lir already exhaustedly snuggled in Maglor's arms where he gently held her and sang softly.
They all looked up as I sank against the doorpost, shaking. I staggered to the rug and collapsed to my knees, shivering and exhausted, every limb screaming. Glorfindel was immediately at my side, helping me to lean against him and sit down comfortably in his lap as he leaned against the lazy boy.
"What happened?" Maedhros sounded concerned.
"I-" I could barely talk from the rawness of my throat. "I tried not to scream too much..." I whimpered, curling into Glorfindel, who wrapped his arms around me.
"And he told you he was glad you did, right?" He asked me gently. I nodded as he drew a blanket around me. Ecthelion handed me a cup of hot chocolate which I gratefully accepted.
There were no more words to be said. All of them were reborn, so they knew what I meant. Love imperishable is a strong thing. Elíl came down a moment later, and Ecthelion was left to comfort her as he wished.
Glorfindel was warm, and made me feel slightly sleepy with his warmth and the way his hand rubbed soothingly down my arm and moved to my back. My breathing slowly evened out as I drank.
Ecthelion kissed Elíl gently, comfortingly cupping her cheek. She relaxed, melting into his hold.
Maglor softly pressed his lips to Lir's cheek, hugging her tenderly. She snuggled into him, sighing in relief.
I slowly began to relax, feeling my muscles unclench as Glorfindel continued to gently rub circles on my back. I melted into him, growing pliant in his grasp and leaning my head against his chest. The cup was empty.
He rested his head against the top of mine, his free arm snaking around my waist. I grasped a lock of his golden hair and played with the end of it, sighing in comfort. His lips suddenly pressed against the crown of my head.
When I didn't say anything, he moved down to my temple, feathering kisses against it. I clutched his tunic, bunching it in my fist. He moved lower to my cheek, lips ghosting against it and moving down to my jaw and gently pressing on it. I shifted slightly.
His free hand held my waist, and his other hand moved to pull me against him, cradling me to his chest protectively.
Ecthelion clutched a half-asleep Elíl to himself, raining small kisses down her cheek and to her lips. Maglor pressed adoring kisses to Lir's cheek as she blushed and hid her cheek in his neck. Undeterred, he took advantage of the now-exposed throat, placing his lips against it. I looked away, down to my hand that rested against Glorfindel's chest, eyes closing.
His hands slowly tangled in my hair, combing it out only to come back and bury his fingers into it again, pulling my head up. I opened my eyes to see him looking down at me, sapphire blue eyes burning longingly. Heat creeped up my neck as I glanced away nervously.
"Are you afraid of me?" He whispered, sounding forlorn. I shook my head.
"No." I replied quietly. He tilted my face to look at him again.
"Please, do not turn from me." He whispered hoarsely. His face was so close. I swallowed heavily. "It makes me- feel- hurt." He murmured, and bent down, lips against my cheek. I closed my eyes tightly.
He moved down my cheek to my jaw, tracing along my jawline. He lifted his head, and I saw that he swallowed as he stared at my throat. My hand spasmed. His head moved lower, breath puffing against my neck. Heated lips scorched the hollow of my throat.
"Glorfindel." I whispered pleadingly. "D-don't-" I couldn't speak. It felt too much.
He pulled back, breathing harsh.
"Forgive me." He sounded ashamed of himself and worried.
"No, it's just- it feels- too much." My voice wavered. He pressed his lips to the corner of mine.
"I'm sorry. I need to be patient." He replied softly.
"I'm sorry. I'm not- used to it." I said a bit sorrowfully. It kinda wasn't fair that he had to suffer because I wasn't ready yet. He shook his head.
"No, meldanya, it's alright. I know you aren't ready. I will be patient. I must teach you slowly what I mean when I say I love you." He murmured lovingly.
I stared up at him, lips slightly parted. His gaze riveted to my mouth, and then he dragged them away up to my eyes. He smiled. "Yes, I love you." He said, kissing my lower lip briefly.
I sighed and leaned against his chest again. "I love you too, Glorfindel." I replied sleepily. I realized, now, that I truly did. I felt complete when he was near.
I never saw the look of pure joy that crossed his face as he heard me say the words, nor did I feel the tightening of his fingers, nor did I hear the hitching of his breath. I was fast asleep, exhausted but feeling peaceful and happy.
After all, Glorfindel loved me.
And by the way, I still ship Maglir and Elilion.