Fury followed Astaria's every step. She wasted no time in returning to Riverwood, tearing off the Thalmor robes and returning into her armour while Delphine persistently asked her what happened.

"Nothing!" Astaria snapped, finally turning her anger on someone, her eyes flashing dangerously. "They knew nothing. They are as helpless and lost as you are!" She ripped out two of the books and threw them onto the table. "They're even bloody blaming you!"

Delphine was frowning at her. "If you found nothing then why are you so angry?"

She couldn't explain it, she didn't want to explain it. "I need to go." She went to leave but Delphine stopped her.

"Dragonborn, did you read these?"

"No, I just shoved them in my bag." She growled, still standing at the bottom of the stairs.

"Dragonborn, this book mentions one of my associates, a man I have long believed to be dead." Astaria turned back to face her. "He could have vital information, if we can just find him-"

"No."

"What? We need to-"

"Do it yourself." Astaria turned away again.

"Dragonborn, I don't know what happened in there, but I believe that this is much more important than that." When Astaria doesn't move or answer, she continues. "This book says that the last place they received word of Esbren was in Riften, if you could just go and look, find out anything, I would forever be in your debt."

Astaria stood frozen in the doorway for a long moment, breathing deeply. It did nothing to ease out the anger, but it did give her a small moment to think.

"Fine. I'll do it when I can." She leaves, not wanting to be stopped again.

Astaria's head buzzed as walked, she couldn't focus, couldn't think of anything, all she knew was this raging inferno slowly eating her up.

A part of her wanted to rush back to Windhelm, but her feet wouldn't move any faster. She knew that she needed to calm down, she knew that it was going to be dangerous if she stormed in in a full rage.

But she couldn't.

No matter how hard she tried, the rage still seethed beneath the surface. It didn't show except in her eyes which were burning brightly, even spotting the white wolf again did little to abate it.

Entering Windhelm, the guards could see something was wrong, it made them nervous but they left her alone. She stalked up the steps and opened the doors to the palace.

No one was there, so her footsteps silently continued to the war room. She stood in the doorway waiting, unable to bring herself to enter, Galmar and Ulfric were in a deep discussion over the war table.

She was hoping she could treat this calmly, but the fact that the anger felt like it was stabbing her through the chest, told her otherwise.

Ulfric looked up and met her eye and in that moment, neither could tell who was angrier.

"Dragonborn." His voice was neutral, but even this flared up her own anger.

"Jarl Ulfric. Galmar." Her voice was barely a whisper, but it was all she could do to refrain from yelling.

Galmar was not as refrained. "You have some nerve Dragonborn. What in the name of Talos were you thinking?"

Astaria frowns and doesn't respond.

He was furious and approaches threateningly. "Nothing to say?! Does that mean you admit what you did was the most insane, ludicrous, stupid thing that you could have ever done?!"

Her eyes flashed and she realised that word had already reached them about the Embassy. "I reacted accordingly."

"Accordingly to what?" Ulfric interrupted, which also stopped Galmar from advancing.

Astaria wasn't entirely sure how to answer that as she still wasn't entirely sure what had made her so angry, but she pulls out the book anyway and throw it on the table, scattering several flags.

"That."

Ulfric looks at her for a moment before picking up the book and starting to read it. Galmar was completely unconvinced.

"A book!" He roared. "You burned down half the Thalmor Embassy for a book!?"

Astaria's hand clenched by her side. "Yes, although I can't say that they didn't deserve it."

"You've put this whole operation at risk!" He steps right up to her. "You've made this an unnecessary threat! Imperial's first then the elfish bastards!"

"Unnecessary threat." She growls. "What hidden little world do you live in? The Thalmor have been interested in this operation long before I entered the picture, and me being here alone is enough to get them even more interested, no matter my actions."

"How dare you speak to me that way?! How dare you assume I don't know the risks?! I've been fighting this war since before you were born." They were staring each other down.

"And you think I'm some stuck up noble? Totally naive of everything going on? I've seen more on these last couple of weeks than you ever will old man." The rumble in her voice was unmissable and caused Ulfric to look up.

Galmar's hand went to his axe. "Why you puffed up, arrogant-"

"Galmar." Ulfric's voice was a clear warning and Galmar slowly and very reluctantly backed off. He stares at Astaria. "Care to tell me why you are so angry about this Dragonborn?"

Astaria's mind turned over, trying to come up with the answer, but she still couldn't place it.

"I don't know."

"Bullshit." Galmar snarled.

They both ignored him.

"You don't know?" Ulfric asked quietly. "I find that very hard to believe."

"Is it true?" The words were out of her mouth before she meant them to be and it was then she knew what she was angry at.

Him.

He stared at her and put the book slowly back onto the table, Galmar picks it up to read. "It is." He frowns. "Although the thought of the Thalmor being involved recently is...unsettling. If that is true, then they have certainly been more active than I originally thought." He glances at her clenched hand. "That still doesn't explain your anger, or why you set the embassy on fire."

Astaria didn't want to answer but unfortunately the part that would normally hide that was being drowned by her anger.

"Because that book is a pile of shit." She snarled. "That goes against everything that we are meant to stand for, it practically borders on-"

"Not another word." Galmar says, still angry. "Ulfric this is some childish excuse-"

"Bite me old man." Astaria snapped. "I'm not a child, don't think just because of my age that I don't understand what is going on!"

"You burnt a building down over a temper tantrum because you learnt something you didn't want to!" He yells, causing Ulfric to sigh as he approached Astaria again.

"Oh? So I'm to assume that you are completely unfazed by the Thalmor threat?" Her voice raised again. "I'm to assume that you don't give a damn about a possible spy or that someone has been feeding false information?"

"Watch who you are accusing girl." Galmar's hand was resting on his axe again.

"I'm not accusing anyone! I'm trying to get it through your thick skull of the bigger picture!" Her voice had raised to point that the rumble was clear throughout the room and Galmar tensed even more.

Ulfric knew this only going to get worse. "Dragonborn." Her furious amber eyes turned to him. "Courtyard. Now."

"Ulfric-"

"Stay here Galmar."

Astaria didn't move so he grabbed her arm and marched her out. She didn't protest and it wasn't till he was outside that he realised why.

She shook his hand off. "Fine. I lost control a bit, but-"

"A bit." He growled. "What would you have done if I hadn't dragged you away from Galmar?"

Astaria remains silent. Snow was falling in the small courtyard and Astaria realised with quiet distaste, that they were alone out here.

"That's what I thought." Ulfric folds his arms, looking down on her. "Now that he is out of the way, I want an answer."

She couldn't hold his gaze. "Why? So I can treated like a child again?"

"If you keep acting that way you will." Ulfric said angrily. "You need to learn to control that anger Dragonborn."

"Control my anger." Her voice dripped with angry sarcasm. "Because you clearly know about control."

Ulfric watches her, he could feel her anger and he knew it was directed at him, but he couldn't understand why she wouldn't just say it. So, he came up with a solution.

"Alright Dragonborn, seeing as you seem unwilling to tell me the truth, we are going to work this out another way." He moves over to the wall where there are weapons lined up, including several wooden ones. He picks up two wooden swords and throws one at her.

Astaria catches it and looks at him wearily.

"Your first lesson starts now." He stands at the ready.

"You've got to be kidding me?" She glares at him. "This is absolutely-"

He moves fast and Astaria only blocks just in time, after a few fast swings with Astaria on the defence, Ulfric lands a hard blow to her ribs. She grunts and leaps back, breathing hard, her armour took the brunt of the blow, but it still hurt.

He points the sword at her. "You've got good footwork, but your defence and sword play is terrible."

"Thanks for noticing." She growls. "But you already knew that."

"Then improve it." Again, he moved forward fast and Astaria was forced to defend.

She couldn't fault him, he was good with a blade, but all that did was make her more frustrated and she quickly found herself with a few more bruises.

"Are you even trying?" He snarled. "Or is the mighty Dragonborn scared?"

Astaria snapped, and for the first time went on a vicious attack. Ulfric had been expecting it, in fact this is what he wanted her to do in the first place. Her blows were fast and hard, but he easily deflected them, the swings obvious even as she naturally tried to work to gain the upper hand.

Finally, he felt she had let off enough. With a quick step, he disarmed her and hook one foot around hers and drew it back, sending her crashing to the cold pavement.

Ulfric held the wooden blade to her throat as she tried to get up. "Stay down." He said coldly. "Unless you want me to knock you down again."

Both of them were breathing heavily, their breathes coming out as small puffs of white clouds. Astaria does not move, glaring up at him.

"Have you calmed down yet?" He asked, watching her closely. He may have the upper hand, but he wasn't foolish enough to think that she wouldn't try anything.

Astaria looked away. Her heart was racing but she felt calmer now, not completely cooled off, but calmer.

"Good." He grunts and holds out his hand.

She looks at him for a moment and takes it, helping her to her feet. She brushes the dusting of snow off her and Ulfric steps back to watch her.

"I warned you about the power of the voice Dragonborn; that is part of the reason the Greybeards live so reclusively. You need to find something to keep your anger in check." He wasn't one to talk at times, but it was clear she needed something. "Now, mostly that anger was directed at me, wasn't it?"

She couldn't look at him. "Yes sir."

"And is that out of your system? Enough to discuss it rationally?"

"Not entirely, sir."

"Then go take a walk, unless you would rather I keep knocking you down?"

Astaria didn't move and Ulfric almost got angry at further defiance from her when she spoke quietly.

"It's not all of it."

He raises an eyebrow. "Then please enlighten me Dragonborn, I can only guess so many things."

She looked at him then and he was almost stunned by the hatred in her eyes. "Elenwen."

"What about her?"

Astaria looked away again, flexing her hand by her side. "She was there. I could've...I should've...if I had just known!" She spat.

Ulfric frowns, not understanding. "Elenwen is a dangerous woman to go hunting Dragonborn, you are better off staying well away."

"But-" She stops herself as she looks at him and straightens out. "Never mind. I think I'll take that walk."

She leaves before he gets the chance to say anything else and he's left staring at the door as it shuts.

Why would he hold such a hatred against Elenwen? As far as he knew, the two had no personal relationship, it just didn't make sense.

But then he thought about her fury at him and he suddenly realised that it wasn't all on him, some of it was on his behalf and this left him with a very unsettled feeling.

Astaria paced just beyond the bridge outside Windhelm, she had wanted to keep walking but she knew that if she strayed too far from the city, chances were, she wouldn't go back.

She was angry at herself now, for how she had reacted to things and how angry she was at Ulfric. That was annoying her greatly. Now that she was thinking clearly, she had no reason to be angry, the events in that book were a long time ago, and she couldn't imagine what he had been through to get to the point of revealing things to the Thalmor.

Elenwen was a completely different story however. Astaria wanted with every part of her soul to march back to the Embassy and take off that woman's head. It would be foolish, but she knew if she succeeded she would certainly feel a lot better.

Astaria stopped then and licked her lips nervously. Her tutor had always teased her about her devotion to Ulfric and he'd always told her that the way she acted towards him was well beyond any sort of 'soldiers loyalty' as he put it. When she was younger, he called it a crush, and she used to hit him for it even as he laughed, however as she got older…

Sighing, Astaria sat, placing her head in her hands. Gods help her if it were true. She'd always adamantly denied it, always said it was nothing but admiration and respect, and her tutor always said that it had to start somewhere.

She stared at the white ground, the anger giving way to misery as she realised exactly why she joined the cause.

To get closer to Ulfric.

Sure, she wanted to fight the battle, win Skyrim back for her people and all that, but the real reason was almost suffocating.

A sob broke through her chest and before she could stop it, Astaria broke down into tears. She didn't fight it, she didn't have the strength to fight it, and for the first time in a long time, she just let herself cry.

It was late Ulfric decided to head back inside. He'd felt it necessary to take to a walk as well, fighting his own anger at the situation. He'd buried that part of his past a long time ago, however it still looked like the Thalmor wanted to keep that with him.

And it was infuriating.

Only two other knew about what had happened with the Thalmor, and that was Galmar and Jorleif. It was not something he liked going into. Now, having Astaria know as well- he cut off the thought with a scowl. That was where the frustration was coming in, he just didn't know what to do about it.

Ulfric walked into the war room, stopping dead as he saw Astaria standing there, still in her armour, overlooking the map.

"Planning troop movements now?" He asked, a little colder than what he intended.

She held herself for a moment, biting down a response before straightening up to look at him, her amber eyes calm. "I was waiting for you, actually."

This surprised him a little. "For me?"

She nods, slowly. "I wanted to apologise for earlier. I was upset and my actions were uncalled for."

He stares at her, definitely surprised now. Something had happened. "We all have our moments Dragonborn."

"That does not make it acceptable." She says with a frown.

"No, it does not, but you are also under a lot of pressure, your actions-"

"Are unacceptable." She snapped before drawing in a deep breath. "Ulfric, you are my Jarl and soon to be King. Dragonborn or not, it does not excuse my actions. Now, I can understand if there is no consequence, but do not make excuses for me, I know it was unacceptable, all of it. You warned me about my anger and I let it get away from me."

He looked at her, she was holding her ground, and while he hadn't approved of her actions earlier, he had understood. "Alright Dragonborn, if you insist."

"Thankyou. Now I should get back to patrol." She goes to walk past him, her shoulders set.

He grabs her arm tightly, stopping her. "I still wish to speak with you Dragonborn." When she didn't move, he realised how tightly he was holding her arm and gently loosened his grip. There was an awkward moment before she stepped back.

"Of course." She said quietly, her body unnaturally still, but she was attentive.

He tried to judge this response but then figured it was better not to. "I want to know, calmly this time, what happened with the Thalmor."

Astaria tried to not be angry, tried not to let it show again, but the bite was still in her voice. "The Blades thought that the Thalmor were involved with the dragons returning, I went in to investigate. A party had been organised and I managed to get an invite, my name still not overly known thankfully. Once inside, I snuck away from the party and tried to find some answers. You know the rest."

He raises and eyebrow. "You got angry and lit half the place on fire?"

"More or less." She then refuses to meet his eye. "I found some books, killed some elves, saved a prisoner and got out of there. Was it worth it? No. They knew nothing."

Ulfric studies her closely, unsure of what to make of the powerful woman before him. She had done so much yet shown him so little about her. That was going to change now.

"I want to ask you another question Dragonborn, and I want an honest answer." He waits until she looks at him. "Why did you join the Stormcloaks?"

Astaria frowns at him and take a moment to answer. "I wanted to fight for my home, for my people. I wanted-"

He stops her. "I don't want the standard reply. I want your honest answer." He stares at her and she stares back, both knowing she didn't want to give the answer.

"That is my answer."

"If that was your answer, you wouldn't have been so upset by that book."

She looked incredibly uncomfortable, swapping her weight from one leg to another, even staring at her feet for a moment before she answered.

"Fine. I have a great respect and admiration of you Ulfric. I think that you are a fine leader, someone that I could follow, with a cause worth fighting for." She clenched her jaw for a moment, stopping herself before she let it get out of hand. "I was also not going to sit at home, watching all this happen, and wait for my father to find me a suitable husband, although he still seems intent to try. Does that satisfy your curiosity? Is that a good enough reason? May I go now?" Her heart was racing, she had to get out there as quickly as she could before he asked more questions that she did not want to answer.

"Well, you definitely answered truthfully, but you may not go yet." He was careful, it was clear that the anger was still there, but she was clearly hiding something. "I want to know why you are so angry with me."

This question definitely set her on edge, he watched as her body language changed, becoming very guarded.

"I'm not."

"We both know that is not true Astaria."

This surprised her, she'd gotten so used to people calling her Dragonborn that her own name sounded strange, especially coming from him, and now she knew she was in trouble.

"I...I would prefer not to say."

"And I would like you to. As your Jarl, I feel I deserve the truth."

Astaria grew incredibly uncomfortable under his gaze, so much so that she bit her lip just to make sure that this was really happening to her.

"I thought...it would be obvious considering my last statement." There was only so long she could avoid the question and she knew it.

"Stop avoiding the truth and just tell me. Or I'll order it."

She sighs and gives in partly. "I was disappointed Ulfric. I...I have looked up to you for years and to...to find out something like that...it shook me. I wasn't sure how to take it."

Ulfric watched her closely, she was purposefully looking away from him, purposefully not meeting his eye and he knew that that wasn't all of it. He stepped closer and gently turned her chin to look at him.

"I do not blame you Astaria. I said that from the start. But we all have mistakes in our past, which is often why they stay hidden, and, certainly, those we look up to can disappoint us, and for that, I am sorry."

Astaria almost felt panic setting in her chest. She took a cautious step back, hitting the
table. "I wasn't asking for an apology Ulfric. I wasn't raised a fool and should know these things. I understand all this, I just...I just..."

"Need time to work it out." He finished gently. "Try not to look up at people so much Dragonborn, you'll find yourself disappointed more often than not."

"I didn't...I didn't mean it that way Ulfric." She sighs, desperately wanting to say the rest but knowing that she couldn't. "I owe you a lot already, and this was long ago, a time that doesn't matter anymore. I'm just confused and-"

He kissed her. It was gentle, certainly gentler than Ralof had been, his hand resting neatly on the back of her head, holding her there.

Astaria felt her heart rate soar, feeling as if it would burst from her chest. A small sound escapes her throat, in protest or enjoyment, she wasn't entirely sure, but it was shaking her to her core and she wasn't entirely sure how to respond.

She fought down everything she was feeling and it was frustrating that it was taking so long to do so. Talos save her, the man could kiss, the gentleness drawing her into a place she didn't want to be, somewhere she couldn't afford to be, especially not now. His other hand had rested on her waist, and while this was something she wanted, she couldn't accept it.

Finally, she drew her hands up to his chest, placing them firmly and pushing him away, dropping her head down so as she didn't have to look at him, her cheeks flushed.

There was a moment of silence.

"Ulfric-" her voice broke, so she cleared it and tried again. "Ulfric, I can't."

She wasn't sure she could handle a response. As quickly as she dared, she stepped away and left the room. Ulfric did not stop her.

Once she was sure she was a safe distance away, she ran. Ran from every part of her that was fighting to go back in there and hold him tightly to her. She couldn't face this. Not now.

Ulfric was still standing there stunned, his mind unfocused, not entirely sure what had happened. He sank into the nearest chair, his fingers running along his lip.

Had he just kissed Astaria? What had possessed him to do that? He could admit to himself that the woman was attractive, her height meaning nothing against the way she held herself, but that was-

The word struck him then, causing him to shudder. Power. That woman had power. And gods help him if he didn't want more, he could still taste her on his lips.

As he sat there, staring blankly out the door she had run, another thought struck. This is what had been bothering him. Her. Not just her anger or attitude, but everything about her, and he was damned if it made any sense to him.

Sighing, he gives up, retiring for the night and hoping that the morning would make more sense.