Dominoes

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone from Big Time Rush. I just own Andrew and the plot.

"The past is our definition. We may strive, with good reason, to escape it, or to escape what is bad in it, but we will escape it only by adding something better to it." ~Wendell Berry

Chapter Six

The Deep End

James laid flat on his back on his bed. His face was swollen and bloody. Logan sat at the end of his bed, swinging his legs over the edge and staring at the wall.

"Carlos wants to run away." James said.

"I know." Logan whispered back.

"What do you think about it?"

"Nothing at all."

James bit his lip, wondering whether or not he should say something to Logan about Ford. James sat up, wincing in pain. He examined Logan from head to toe. Logan was pale and bruised. His hair was still long. He had escaped Ford two days ago and still was a mess. James could see the distance look in his eyes.

"I know how you feel." James said.

Logan turned his head towards James. James gulped and spoke again.

"Being confined to that cage like that. I felt like an animal in there. Trapped and helpless. I wanted nothing more than to get out. I wanted to be back with you guys. I wanted my family and friends desperately."

"You have no clue what I went through." Logan whispered. He curled his fist up into a ball so hard that his skin turned whiter than usual. "I was alone in there for two years. I had nobody. You escaped. I couldn't. I got lucky I got out of that cage. I would have died alone in that cage. It was torture." He closed his eyes, memories of the last two years flashing for his eyes. "He would beat me. He would tell me how he was taunting you guys. He, he made me chose what he would use to kill on some nights."

James reached over and attempted to grab Logan's hand, but when his finger's touched Logan's, the dark haired boy pulled away.

"Were going to catch him Logan." James said. "Everything will go back to normal."

"Normal?" Logan laughed half-heartily. "Carlos is drained of life. He has no spark of life in his eye. He no longer wears his helmet. Kendall isn't the leader I remember anymore. He is a violent manic, consumed with revenge. He rather throw you and Carlos in the line of fire to save himself. And you, you James, took over Kendall's position. You're trying to be strong and brave. And myself…well I'm beaten, scared, and scarred. Nothing is as it seems anymore and nobody is who they should be."

James laughed. Logan's words were true. Kendall, James, Carlos, and Logan were shadows of their former selves. And to hear someone finally admit it out loud made him laugh.

"You know how long I wait to hear someone finally admit that, Logan? Two years. I waited two years for someone to finally admit the truth. And I find it funny that someone is saying it."

"It's the truth. If Ford is ever caught, we will never go back to our Big Time Rush days. Were doomed to a life like this, aren't we?"

"Nothing is as it seems anymore and nobody is who they should be." James said, echoing Logan's words.

Logan sighed. Ford was never going to stop hunting him or his friends. And he was going after Kendall next.

"Who went downhill first?" Logan asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean after my disappreance, who went off the deep end first?"

"Hard to say. Carlos became a mute for a few months. Kendall locked himself in his room for months. I was just trying to figure things out."

"Whose idea was it to hunt Ford down?"

"Kendall's. One day, a few months after your disappearance, Carlos and I were watching TV in the apartment at the Palm Woods. Carlos was still a mute and I was barely holding onto to reality. In the middle of the program, Kendall came out of his room and pulled us in. He had the room all to him after you disappeared. He spent all day in there. Well, once we were in the room, he showed us millions of ideas he had to catch Ford. The walls were plastered with plans and everywhere you stepped in the room, there was another plan. He was obsessed. He practically begged us to help him. Carlos spoke up for the first time in months. He agreed and I just went along with it. Like I said, I was barely holding onto reality. I didn't even realize what I had agreed to. Before I knew it, I was in this beat down apartment at sixteen and hunting down a serial killer who was responsible for murdering my best friend."

"How many times did you encounter Ford?"

James thought back. The first year they had no encounters. Just notes taunting them. It was only until a few months ago communications had developed.

"Only a few. Every one of those encounters ended up with bruising or a trip to the hospital. He shot me in the leg the night he was arrested. That's why I'm in a cast. Kendall's in a sling because he was shot in the shoulder. I bet his shoulder is hurting from fighting Ford."

"Thanks James. For shedding light on the past two years. I needed to know."

James laid back down and closed his eyes. He knew Logan was still there.

"Kendall saw you."

"Huh?"

"Kendall saw you over the past two years. His mind created an image of you to help him hunt down Ford. His mind recreated you to deal with your 'death.'"

"Interesting."

James yawned and heard his bed creek. He didn't even bother to go after Logan. He was probably going to confront Kendall. James let sleep wash over him.

James woke up to someone shaking him. He opened his eyes to see Carlos's panic ones above his.

"Logan is gone."

Three words. That's all it took for James to finally go off the deep end.

I'm mean. I know. Leaving you with a cliffhanger like that. And sorry for so much dialogue.

Reviews?

-TheRescuer2