Dominoes

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone from Big Time Rush. I just own Andrew and the plot.

"Do not blame anybody for your mistakes and failures."
Bernard Baruch

Chapter Seven

Blame Yourself, Lose Yourself

Logan knew exactly where he was heading. He wasn't exactly sure why he was heading there, but he felt he could get some closure there.

He rounded another corner, whishing the breeze that rushed by him would take away all his troubles. Carlos had become a mute, because of him. James had cut off his hair and had to step up, because of him. Kendall had gone crazy, because of him. Everything over the past two years had been his fault, not Ford's. If he had fought harder that night, Logan could have escaped. Everything could have been normal.

Logan walked down into the ally and walked to the center. The spot where had almost bled to the death.

The ally where he supposed to have died in.

"I knew you would be here."

James grabbed a kitchen chair and threw it over his head. It smashed into a dozen pieces and fell to the ground. James didn't even hear the cracking of the wood. He had already moved onto to throwing another chair. Tears blurred his vision and he could feel a pair of hands on his arms trying to stop him. But he didn't care.

It was his fault Logan was gone.

James screamed and threw a vase. It shattered all over the ground, mixing in with the wood chips. He felt his arms twist behind his back and he screamed again. But he did not scream in pain. He screamed for his lost friend who was gone because of him.

"How did you know?"

"You're too simple."

"Maybe, but its broad daylight and your out in public. How did you know I would be here?"

"Same way I found you the first time. Stalking."

Kendall watched as James threw object after object at the wall. He screamed and cried. Kendall wanted to cover his ears and run. But he couldn't. He promised Logan.

He ran up behind James and tried to pin his arms behind his body. But James threw another chair. Kendall almost gave up, but another one of James's screams made him continue his efforts. James threw a vase and Kendall finally got James's arms and stopped him from throwing things. James sank to his knees and Kendall helped lower him as James screamed again and more tears flowed out of his eyes.

Kendall Knight, promise breaker.

"Stalking? Like you did to my friends?"

"Aren't you a smart cookie?"

"I wasn't a random target?"

"Oh no. I followed you for weeks. I got to know you. I studied your behavior patterns. Your lifestyle. In a way, I became you."

Carlos was curled up in a ball at the top of his bed. The covers were pulled up over his head and he was attempting to block out James's rampage.

Carlos wanted it to stop. He wanted everything to just fall silent. He threw the covers off him and grabbed a duffel bag out of his closest. He flung open his drawers and randomly threw in clothes.

Even though he hadn't left the apartment, Carlos felt like he was already gone.

"Remember how you told me you couldn't bring yourself to kill me?"

"How could I forget?"

A knife clattered in front of his feet. It was covered in dried blood.

"Here's a second chance. For all my guilt and yours to just wash away. Do it. Pick of the knife and just end it."

He bent down and picked up the knife. He twisted the handle in his hands.

"Do it. Just end everything."

He remained silent. The boy was begging for a death.

"Just do it!"

Thirty seconds later, blood dripped slowly onto the concrete ground.