Kunoichi Syndrome: Origins
Chapter 13 Deadman
February 3rd, 2:15 a.m. Mr. Uchiha separates me and Itachi.
"Itachi my boy. What the hell are you thinking? You're dead now!"
Mr. Uchiha tries to strike Itachi. I instinctively put myself in front of Itachi. "Uchiha-san wa, go Itachi kizutsukeru koto wa arimasen! Watashi wa chikaku ni taizai suru Itachi o morai mashita! Kare wa ochitsuki, watashi wa kowai yo! Sore wa watashi no sei da, gomen ne! Shite kudasai kono genjutsu Itachi to watashi ni mondai o dasu tame ni shiyō suru to wa omowa nai! Watashi wa shōjiki da! (Uchiha san (Mr. Uchiha), Please do not hurt Itachi! I asked Itachi to stay close to me! He was restless and I got scared! It is my fault, I am sorry! Please do not think of this as a genjutsu Itachi would use on me to get out trouble! I am being honest!)"
Mr. Uchiha abandons any attempt to strike Itachi while he stares at me in disbelief. I bow to Mr. Uchiha on my hands and knees indicating my own guilt. "Ashuri-chan wa, anata ga kore o okonau ni chōnan o motome ta to itte iru? Wakari masen. Kore ga kanō na koto wa deki masen. Itachi wa watashi no chōnan wa, kono subete hontō desu ka? (Ashley chan, are you saying you asked my eldest son to do this? I do not understand. This cannot be possible. Itachi my eldest, is this all true?)"
"Chichi wa, watashi wa kowai mono desu hontō desu. Go Ashuri-chan o yurushi, kanojo wa ōku no o saikin sa rete iru. Redī Tsunade wa, Ashuri-chan wa ima made shinkei suijaku shite i ta naraba, watashi wa kanojo wa dono yō na jōkyō wa kanō-sei ga arimasu mondai o ataeru nin'i no junjo ni shitagau koto ni natte iru to nobe ta. Ashuri-chan wa antei shite shinshin-tomo ni go taizai dekiru yō ni suru hitsuyō ga arimasu. Chichi wa, kore wa zettai desu. (Father, I am afraid everything is true. Please forgive Ashley chan; she has been through a lot lately. Lady Tsunade stated that if Ashley chan ever had a mental breakdown, I am supposed to obey any order she gives no matter what the circumstances might be. Ashley chan needs to be able to stay stable both physically and mentally. Father, this is absolute.)" Itachi answers.
Mr. Uchiha completely backs off. "Ne suru ni wa, ryōhō no idō shimasu. Dochira ka kara wa omoshiroi garakuta. Kore wa meirei da yo. (Go back to sleep, both of you. No funny crap from either of you. That is an order.)"
"Hai chichi. Wakari mashita. (Yes Father. I understand.)" Itachi and I say at the same time.
I sense Dei-chan's presence nearby. Itachi can sense Dei-chan as well.
"Good grief, it's 2:30 in the freakin' morning. This better be good, Dei-chan." I growl.
"Kisame-chan's been kidnapped!" Dei-chan shouts from the window.
"Kuso! (Shit!)" I curse as I grab my stuff. "Make some room on that bird of yours, give me details and take me to Kisame-chan."
"Clara, make room for two." Itachi commands as he grabs his stuff.
Clara, Itachi and I leave immediately. Deidara who is already on scene tells us that Kisame-chan is being tortured. I recognize this place as the Honwanganji. Kisame-chan's screams alert me to the giant bell. Madara Uchiha is torturing Kisame-chan. She bravely fights back, even though it's hurting her. I try to jump Madara but Itachi stops me.
"Ashuri-chan, you're in no condition to do anything."
"Funny you should say that Itachi, un. You're not able to do shit either, un." Deidara laughs. "Kurera-chan wa, ji ni nani o subeki ka o shitte iru kagayaki o, un. (Clara chan, time to shine you know what to do, un.)"
"Hai Deidara-sempai. (Yes Deidara sempai.)" Dei-chan responds, apparently understanding what Deidara just said.
Itachi and I watch as Kisame-chan is quickly rescued and put on the sidelines with us. Kisame-chan, Itachi and I watch as Dei-chan and Deidara fire off barrages of clay bombs. Every other thing that is being said is either "Katsu!" or "Geijutsu wa bakuhatsu da! (Art is an explosion!)" Madara Uchiha flees before Dei-chan and Deidara get a chance to do any major damage to him. Itachi pulls out his cell phone to call Lady Tsunade.
"Lady Tsunade, please wake up. It's Itachi. Kitty needs a personal guard assigned to her."
"Itachi, it's 3 a.m. in the fuckin' morning. What the hell are hell are you doing up at this hour? A personal guard has already been assigned to Miss Kitty. Now hang up and just go home." Granny Tsunade snaps.
Itachi hangs up. Kisame Hoshigaki arrives to escort Kitty home. "Chotto Itachi-san wa, sono shōjo Ashurii anata no gārufurendo desu ka? Soshite, dare ga kono Kiti no hiyoko desu ka? (Hey Itachi san, is that girl Ashley your girlfriend? And who is this Kitty chick?)"
"Ashuri-chan wa watashi no gārufurendo de wa nai. Kiti wa, genzai okyakusama kara Samehada o nusumo u to shite iru onna no ko desu. (Ashley chan is not my girlfriend. Kitty is the girl who is currently trying to steal Sharkskin from you.)" Itachi answers.
Kisame notices Kisame-chan trying to get a hold of Samehada (Sharkiskin). Kisame pats Kisame-chan on the head. Kisame-chan bites Kisame's hand, tasting him.
"You taste like sushi, Hoshigaki Kisame. Are you my personal guard?" Kisa-chan looks at him innocently.
"Personal guard, yes I am. You're feisty Miss Kitty, we'll get along just fine." Kisame answers. "Chotto Deidara baai wa, jissai ni ichido sutorēto shite imasu. Anata wa sono hō ga Kurera no onna no ko no chikaku o hoji shimasu. Kanojo wa shōrai-teki ni anata no gārufurendo kamo shire nai. (Hey Deidara, you are actually straight for once. You had better keep that Clara girl close. She might be your girlfriend in the future.)"
"Jigoku oodassai shi, kika sete no kono basho kara shutoku shimasu. (Shut the hell up and let us get out of this place.)" Itachi snaps.
Everyone pairs up and heads home. At Dei-chan's house, Deidara tucks Dei-chan into bed.
"Good night my little artist, now go to sleep, un." Deidara sighs.
"Deidara-sempai, am I really 'your little artist'?" Dei-chan asks.
"Hai Kurera-chan. (Yes Clara-chan.) You're 'my little artist' un. Go to sleep I'll be down stairs, un." Deidara answers.
Dei-chan grabs Deidara's hand, begging him to stay. Deidara reluctantly gives in to Dei-chan's begging. He decides to sleep by Dei-chan's door. Meanwhile at Kisame-chan's house, Kisame is arguing with Kisame-chan about going to bed. Kisame calls Itachi out of reluctance.
"Itachi-san ga, anata wa watashi wa, kono kitisurīpu jōtai ni naru hiyoko iu no o tasukeru deshou ka? Kono shōjo wa, kanojo wa Ashurii no hiyoko wa subete no kenri de aru koto o kakunin shite iru to i-tsu tsuzukete iru. (Itachi san, will you help me tell this Kitty chick to go to sleep? This girl keeps saying that she has to make sure that Ashley chick is all right.)"
"Ashuri-chan dake de kekkō desu. (Ashley chan is just fine.)" Itachi responds.
I take Itachi's cell phone and order Kisame to put Kisa-chan on the phone.
"Kisa-chan, I'm just fine. Now go to bed, it's late." I sigh.
Kisa-chan hangs up, allowing a peaceful night to continue. I rest peacefully knowing everything is alright for now. Itachi, Deidara and Kisame know their duties well, but when the chaos is over, they'll leave right? I wonder what will happen to me and everyone once this is all over? Then again, I should know better than to try to ask for an official relationship with Itachi.