"One's cruelty is one's power, and when one parts with one's cruelty, one parts with one's power."
(W. Congreve)
"I brought your supper, m'lord" Osha said with a brief bow, entering Theon Greyjoy's bedroom.
That illness was wearing him out. In the first few days he managed at least to show up for meals, but now he was confined to stay in bed like Bran, shivering under a mountain of blankets. It must've been one of those filthy whores from the brothel that infected him. He heard a couple of them sneezing the last time he was there. Theon couldn't bear neither inactivity nor weakness. They made him feel vulnerable, which made him extremely irritable.
"Fucking broth again?" he commented seeing the tray Osha put on his legs.
"Maester says you must eat this, m'lord, I bring here what he says." she replied. "How do you feel today, m'lord?"
"Awful. I'm wasted. And Luwin's going to kill me by overdose of broth. Keep me company while I'm eating, will you? In my pitiful state I couldn't cause you any harm even if I wanted to".
Without any enthusiasm, Osha pulled a chair next to the bed. "If it pleases m'lord" she said sitting down and looking at him as he brought the first spoonful of food to his mouth.
"I see you're learning good manners".
"Maester says I have a good mind, so he says. Says I could learn a lot of things. I said, I could also teach a lot of things, most of all to the little Greyjon prince".
"It's Greyjoy! And watch your mouth, I won't stay in this bed forever!" Theon got angry, pointing the spoon right at her face. Then he coughed from the effort. She laughed heartily.
"I'm a woman of the free folk, you'd better find something scarier than a spoon to threaten me with... my lord" she said.
"Alright, I changed my mind, you can go, I'll eat alone".
Osha laughed again. Theon felt a sudden urge to throw the spoon at her.
"Here's something I could teach you, m'lord. When you can't win, you should just submit. That's what I did and I'm here now, otherwise I'd be in the wolf's wood with crows eating my eyes".
"There's really no need for you to teach me that" Theon whispered between his teeth. Osha rose her eyebrow.
"Have you ever been taken prisoner?" she asked.
"Once, ten years ago. I still am one." he replied before he could regret it. She looked puzzled.
"You don't look like a prisoner, m'lord. I'm the only one bearing chains in here" she said sarcastically, shaking her foot to make the metal clink.
"Not all chains are made of iron, my dear wildling woman". And some of them are much harder to break.
"If you are his prisoner, why are you also a friend of Lord Robb? Why do you eat with him, ride with him, why does he come here everyday to see if you are better?"
Theon had no answer to that. He felt overwhelmed with bitterness, just like every time that topic came up. Yet, for some strange reason, he wanted to keep on talking with Osha. "It's something you can't understand" he finally said.
"I don't think you are a prisoner here. Maybe you were, ten years ago, but now you're not".
"Oh yes? Do you believe I could leave whenever I wanted?"
"I believe you do not want to leave. This makes things pretty easy." Osha smiled. Theon was struck by her words. He would have loved to believe things were so easy, but they weren't. They weren't easy at all.
"I still am and always will be an ironborn, an enemy to the Starks, a Greyjoy and the heir to the Islands. I will never be one of them, no more than you will".
"Ironborn, wildling woman... these are mere words. Where I come from, there is a wise man who used to say that the great man's land is the entire world. The place where you were born does not define what you are, my lord Greyjoy heir to the Islands. Not even who you were born from does. You define what you are, always."
Not even who you where born of. Theon immediately thought of Jon. Jon, who will spend the rest of his days away from the ones he loves. "You're wrong, Osha. These are the very things that define what you are".
He had stopped eating for a while, without even noticing. He took the spoon and finished off the broth which was almost cold by then. Osha didn't reply. "The day will come when I'll have to choose between the Starks and my own family. It will come and I'll have to face it. Sometimes, I wish to be dead before it comes." Theon said, and maybe it was the truest and sincerest thing he had ever said to anyone.
"The gods gave you a strange fate, my lord" Osha said, standing up and picking up the tray. "But you will find a way. We all do. Maybe it will lead you to sorrow, maybe to joy, but you will find it".
"Oh, this is very comforting" Theon commented tartly. Osha smiled at him, her face softened.
"It is, my lord. I hope you'll be better soon. If you need anything, call me" she replied, and then she got out of the room, leaving Theon alone wondering what the hell his way was, and where it would lead him.