Steps

Very early the following morning, Mike returned from his run to find Davey waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs up the dunes. He walked slowly over, wiping his face on his towel, sat down beside the boy, and simply began talking without any intro at all, both of them staring out to sea.

"I didn't find out Rose was pregnant until she was five months along, and by then, Donna and I were married. So were Rose and the Doctor. And there it was... Nothing was gonna change at that point."

"So you just gave me up?" came the small voice.

Mike spluttered, shaking his head. "I don't think you could call it giving you up... In a very real sense, you were never mine to give up. The Doctor's been your father, in every way but the one, since before you were born." He bit his tongue on the sentence that wanted to follow, about how great a father the Doctor was, not wanting to pass any value judgments that would cloud the issue.

"And you had the twins, and Lucy. So you didn't care about me..."

"Hey! Stop right there. I did care about you, I still do. I cared every day. And if he'd stayed disappeared, and hadn't come back to Rose, she and I would have stayed together, and you would have been my son, in every way. And I would have been so proud of that, and of you. Don't doubt that, Davey. It's just... that's not the way it worked out."

A long pause. "Why did she go back to him, then?"

Mike sighed. "Because he's the one she loves, first, last, and always. And vice versa." He glanced sideways at the boy. "Why is this bothering you so much?"

"Because I don't know who he is anymore. I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know what to do."

"Why do you have to 'do' anything?"

An even longer pause. "Because it's different. Everything's changed." Davey took a deep breath. "Could I come live with you?"

That was the last thing Mike had expected. "Whoa!" He spluttered, then made himself stop and think. Finally, "It's not my decision to make, at all, Davey. And you know that. But if that decision ever were to be made... Of course! There will always be a place for you with me." He was trying to ignore the echoes from his talk with Rose, telling her the same thing. Ye gods and little fishes, how did I get into this ridiculous situation? "But before you go packing your stuff up, I want you to promise me that you'll give them one more chance. Both of them. All right?"

Davey didn't answer right away, and Mike leaned over, bumping shoulders and putting his face up next to the boy's where he couldn't be ignored. "All right?" he asked again.

"OK," came the mumbled reply.

"OK." Mike leaned back on his elbows on the steps again, crossing his ankles and gazing at the waves. After a couple of minutes, he broke the silence. "Where were you yesterday?"

"I stayed in my room."

"Was Lucy with you?"

"Yeah. She brought up the Monopoly game and we played that all afternoon."

"Who won?"

"She did. I think I owe her about a million dollars."

Mike laughed, and then suddenly stopped, sighing heavily. When he spoke again, his voice was pitched just a single notch louder. "So tell me, Doctor, when did you develop the habit of sneaking up behind people?"

"About the same time you developed the habit of being where I want to be," came the answer from the top of the stairs. Davey caught his breath, and stared hard at the sand by his feet, while Mike swiveled around sharply.

"Owwwww?" Half sharp complaint, half query, he stared at his twin.

"Sorry. I'm a bit... on edge."

"No shit." Mike turned back, but before he got up he bumped Davey's shoulder again. "I'll talk to you later, OK?" Davey nodded, still staring down, and Mike stood and began climbing the stairs. "You know, Doctor, either you and I need to go out and get roaring drunk together, or we should just book a boxing ring and have it out that way."

The Doctor wasn't sure if he was serious or not – but then, neither was Mike. The Doctor gave him a wry look. "Don't tell River – she'll start selling tickets."

Mike snorted and disappeared back towards the house, and the Doctor faced about, forcing himself to take the stairs one step at a time. He sat down beside his son, thinking at least he didn't run off, and flashed back to his day trip with Rose. "I'm listening, Davey. Please talk to me."

There was a long silence as they both stared out to sea. The Doctor spied a dark spot bobbing about and realized it was a head: Someone's out for an early morning swim. At last Davey shrugged and said for what felt like the umpteenth time, "I just don't know what's real anymore." He wasn't sure whether the repetition was making the situation graver or more ridiculous. "I feel like... everything's upside-down. I don't know who anybody is."

The Doctor considered for a long time, controlling his impulse to simply run his gob for once. "I guess there have been some big changes. They didn't seem so big to me at first, but I guess that's a matter of perspective, isn't it? But Davey... " He stopped for a moment, then went on, feeling his way through the forest of words. "None of us has been putting on an act. We're all the same people we were before. You just know a bit more about us than you did before. I guess... all I can do is ask you to give us some time to prove it. And most of all, give yourself some time to absorb this new information, and adjust to it. Can you do that?"

Davey didn't answer right away, and the Doctor went on. "Davey, a lot has changed, and a lot more will change, but a whole lot hasn't changed, either. You're still my son, and I still love you so very much, and I always will. Always."

The boy started shaking his head at that, and finally some of his pain bubbled to the surface. "But you don't need me anymore. You've got Jenny now. She's your real daughter. A real Time Lord. You don't need a stupid human kid around any more."

The Doctor's jaw had dropped, and he was staring now, aghast. "You think that's what's going on here? You think that's all I care about? That I'm just going to run off and forget you now? Davey..." He spluttered, shaking his head. "People are NOT interchangeable! Especially your own children! You don't just exchange one for another!"

He paused, fighting to bring his voice back under control. "Yes, I am overjoyed that Jenny's alive, and that I can spend some time with her now and get to know her, and maybe be a bit of the father to her that I never had the chance to be before. But... please, listen to me. That doesn't mean I'm going to leave you, or forget you exist. I could never do that. Davey, you're my son... and I love you, so very very much." His voice was low now, intense. "You mean more to me than anyone ever has, or ever will, save one: your Mum. The two of you are my entire life. That will never change."

"Until you regenerate." Davey's flat declaration stopped his father cold. "Isn't that right?" He turned and looked at him at last.

"No. Not even then," he said with quiet emphasis. "I will never stop loving you the way I do now."

"Then why was Mum so upset when you almost did it before we came here? If nothing changes, then what was she so upset about?"

The Doctor turned and stared out to sea, struck hard. "I didn't say nothing changes. I will change. It is like a death. I'll be a different man, even though I'll still love her, and you, as much as I do now." Finally, he looked back into his son's eyes. "And yes, that's inevitable, as much so as your own death someday. But Davey... that incident frightened me as much as it did your Mum, and I already promised her that I'm going to start being much more careful than I have been, to postpone the inevitable for as long as I absolutely can. I've gone the equivalent of human lifetimes before, and I will this time, too. We've already decided to stop traveling for a while, while you go to school. And when we do travel, we're going to do it as safely as we can manage, and not go looking for trouble."

He sighed. "Everything changes eventually. All we can do, any of us, is recognize what we've got when we've got it, and hold on to it for as long as we can, squeezing every drop of love and joy and wonder out of every minute we've got. That's the same for Time Lords as it is for humans. No different. We'd be having this same conversation – at least I hope we would, I hope I'd be smart enough to tell you this – even if I were human like you, or you were a Time Lord like me."

Getting back to the main point, he added, "I'm not going anywhere, son. Not for a long, long time." He hesitated. "Will you give me a chance to prove that? Please?"

Another long silence, but then, finally, Davey said "OK", his voice small and shaky. The Doctor sighed in relief. It was enough to be going on with, at least.

They turned by mutual accord back to the ocean again, and noticed the swimmer was walking up out of the waves right in front of them. A dark shadow against the rising sun, it wasn't until she was quite close that she resolved into River. "Good morning!" she called. "I do like this ocean; it's clean and cool – the perfect swimming temperature." She scooped her towel off the railing where it had hung unnoticed till now, and began blotting the water off her face. Suddenly she stopped and grinned at the Doctor. "You know, some day you're going to stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?" came the querulous reply.

"That danishta in the torchlight look. I won't bite, I promise." She shook her head. "You've been alone too much of your life." Catching Davey's affronted look, she added hurriedly, "Hold on, that didn't come out right. I don't mean completely alone. I meant without other time travelers around. You're too used to being the only one who knows anything about the future, Doctor; you can't stand someone else knowing things that you don't. Drives you mental every time."

Rose's dry chuckle came from the top of the stairs, startling all of them. "Oh, you've got him pegged, for sure. I'm convinced now: you definitely know him." She climbed down the steps, sharing a grin with the other woman.

The Doctor tilted his head way back, shooting his wife an irritated glance. "Now you're ganging up on me." He looked back at Davey. "You gonna let them do that?"

"Do I have a choice? I'm just a kid, here," came the grinning reply.

"Oh, that's convenient," grumbled his Dad. "I'm going for a walk." He lurched to his feet and walked swiftly away down the beach. Rose's jaw dropped in surprised amusement, then she laughed and let him go, taking his place on the bottom step.

"Just so you understand," River began seriously. "I never tease him about the past – his, mine, or the universe's. And I certainly won't start now."

"But you do take care of him, don't you?"

"Yes, ma'am. I do my best. And I always will."

Rose gave the woman from the future her brilliant smile. "Thank you."